In Schiffian theory, a symbiosis is said to occur when two or more individuals behave as though between them they form a single person.

1. Symbiosis
Transactional Analysis

2. Prepared By
Manu Melwin Joy
Assistant Professor
SCMS School of Technology and Management
Kerala, India.
Phone – 9744551114
Mail – manu_melwinjoy@yahoo.com
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3. Symbiosis
In Schiffian theory, a
symbiosis is said to occur
when two or more
individuals behave as
though between them
they form a single person.

4. Symbiosis
In a relationship like this,
the people concerned will
not be using their full
complement of ego states.
Typically, one of them will
be excluding Child and
using only Parent and
Adult.

5. Symbiosis
Once a symbiosis has been
established, the
participants feel
comfortable. There is a
sense that everybody is in
the role that is expected of
them.

6. Symbiosis
But that comfort is
acquired at a price :
the people in the
symbiosis are each
shutting out whole
areas of their own
grown up resources.

7. Symbiosis
In everyday relating,
people move into and out
of symbiosis with each
other from moment to
moment. Sometimes also,
a long term relationship is
founded upon symbiosis.

8. Symbiosis
There is one important
feature for symbiosis.
When one of the partners
perceives that the other is
about to withdraw from
the symbiotic pairing, the
other is likely to defend
against this withdrawal.

9. Symbiosis
Their belief is : “ without
the other, I wont be able
to stand on my own”.
Paradoxically, it is this
belief which gives
symbiosis its apparent
quality of stability.

10. Symbiosis
There is not guarantee
that you will feel more
comfortable in this
independent position that
you did in the mutual
leaning position.

11. Symbiosis
In fact, many people report
feeling less comfortable when
they move out of symbiosis.
They are aware that they have
more options – of moving,
breaking and making contract –
than they had when they were
propping each other up.

12. Symbiosis
When two people move
out of symbiosis in a
relationship, they have
more options, more
flexibility, less
predictability and no
guarantee of feeling more
comfortable initially.

13. Healthy Vs Unhealthy Symbiosis

14. Healthy Vs Unhealthy Symbiosis
There are some situations
in which it is appropriate
for people to be in
symbiosis. This is known
as healthy symbiosis.

15. Healthy Vs Unhealthy Symbiosis
For example, I have just
come out from under
anesthetic after an
operation. Nurse is holding
my hands and telling : “ You
will be alright. Just hang one
to my hand”. At that point,
my Adult and Parent are out
of commission.

16. Healthy Vs Unhealthy Symbiosis
I am in no condition to
start assessing here and
now problems. I don’t
have the energy to access
the messages I got from
my parents about how to
look after myself.

17. Healthy Vs Unhealthy Symbiosis
I am doing what is
appropriate for me to do :
regressing to being a child
again, feeling my pain and
letting myself be cared for.

18. Healthy Vs Unhealthy Symbiosis
The nurse is giving the
parent and the adult input I
needed. She is dealing with
my current problems while
giving me protection and
reassurance. This is her job,
so she also is appropriately
in her symbiotic position.

19. Healthy Vs Unhealthy Symbiosis
In Schiffian terms, we say
that the nurse and the
patient are in healthy
symbiosis. When the word
symbiosis is used alone, it
normally implies unhealthy
symbiosis.

20. Healthy Vs Unhealthy Symbiosis
How do we distinguish
formally between healthy
and unhealthy symbiosis?
The answer is that a
symbiosis will be unhealthy
whenever it involves
discounting.

21. Symbiosis Vs Normal Dependency

22. Symbiosis Vs Normal Dependency
An obvious example of a
healthy symbiosis is that
which exists between a
child and his parent. When
a baby is born, he is all
child.

23. Symbiosis Vs Normal Dependency
He doesn’t yet have the
capacity to solve problems
or protect himself. These
functions need to be
performed by the parent,
who will apparently use
Adult and Parent ego
states in doing so.

24. Symbiosis Vs Normal Dependency
Stan Woollam sand Kristy
Huige have suggested the
term normal dependency
to denote this healthy
parent child symbiosis.

25. Symbiosis Vs Normal Dependency
Recall that in a healthy
symbiosis, the parties are
not discounting any of
their ego states. The infant
does not yet have a
functioning Parent or
Adult, so they cannot be
discounted.

26. Symbiosis Vs Normal Dependency
However, the parent does not
have a Child ego state. To avoid
slipping into unhealthy
symbiosis, she needs to stay
aware of her own Child needs
and find some way of getting
these met, even while she is
closely involved in caring for
her infant.

27. Symbiosis and script

28. Symbiosis and script
Thus in ideal parenting, the
child’s caretaker will be
employing Parent and Adult
resources appropriately, while
still not discounting her own
Child. As the child grows, the
parent will provide him with
what is needed to complete
each stage of development.

29. Symbiosis and script
At each stage, the child
acquires more and more of his
own resources, and so has less
and less to lean on the parents.
Ideally, the parent encourages
the child in this appropriate
separation, while continuing to
provide support in the areas
where the child still needs it.

30. Symbiosis and script
In this ideal process, the
initial intense symbiosis
between child and parent
is progressively broken.
The final result is that by
the time the child reaches
young adulthood, both
parties are relating
without symbiosis. Each is
able to stand
independently, making or
breaking contact at will.

31. Symbiosis and script
The trouble is that there are
no ideal parents. No matter
how good a job Mother and
Father make of parenting,
every child goes through the
process of development
with some needs unmet
along the way.

32. Symbiosis and script
This fact reveals the script
function of symbiosis in
adult life. Every symbiosis is
an attempt to get
development needs met
which were not met during
the person’s childhood.

33. Symbiosis and script
As always with scripty
behavior, the person in
symbiosis is using outdate
strategies in his attempt to get
needs met. These strategies
were the best he could work
out as a young child, but are
not longer appropriate in
grown up life.

34. Symbiosis and script
In symbiosis, the person
is discounting grown up
options. The discounting
is outside his awareness.

35. Symbiosis and script
Whenever we get into
symbiosis, we are
unwittingly replaying old
childhood situations where
we felt an unmet need.

36. Symbiosis and script
We once again set up the
relationship that existed in the
past between ourselves and a
parent or parent figure, and re
run the situation in an
attempt to manipulate the
other into satisfying the need
which was not met.

37. Choice of symbiotic position

38. Choice of symbiotic position
You may be thinking: “OK,
so if symbiosis is a re –
play of old childhood
situations, I can see why
people get into the Child
role in symbiosis. But why
should anybody choose to
be in the Parent role?

39. Choice of symbiotic position
The answer is that some
children make an early
decision: “The parenting
around here is so
ineffective that my best
option is to take over as
parent myself.”

40. Choice of symbiotic position
Perhaps, Mother, in her own
ego state, was scared to set
firm boundaries for her
children. Instead, she
blackmailed them by saying
things like this : “If you do
that, you will hurt me” or
“Look – you are making father
angry”.

41. Choice of symbiotic position
The child was being asked
to take responsibility for
the parent’s feelings and
welfare. He might respond
by deciding that his job in
life was to look after his
parents.

42. Choice of symbiotic position
Thus, in effect, he
became a little parent
himself. In grown up life,
he may re – enter this
role in symbiosis.

43. Choice of symbiotic position
Other children, who
perceive their parents as
abusive or oppressive,
may take up the life
position “I am OK, you are
not OK” and fantasize
about putting their
parents down from a
Parental positions. This
again is replayed in their
grown up symbiotic
relationships.

44. Symbiotic invitation

45. Symbiotic invitation
When people meet,
they are adept at
signaling to each other
what symbiotic role
they want to take up.

46. Symbiotic invitation
These symbiotic
invitations are often
conveyed without
words. Usually, one or
more of the four
passive behaviors will
be shown.

47. Symbiotic invitation
Sometimes, a symbiotic
invitation may be
conveyed in words.
When this happens, the
person will be heard
manipulating for what
she wants rather than
asking directly.

48. Symbiotic invitation
This is often done
subtly. For instance, a
member of a therapy
group may look
forlornly down at the
floor and say: “I need a
hug”.

49. Symbiotic invitation
The temptation is for
other group members to
go ahead and give her
the hug she seems to
have asked for. But if
they do so, they will
have accepted her
symbiotic invitation.

50. Symbiotic invitation
Had she asked for the
hug in a non symbiotic
manner, she would have
looked at one particular
member of the group
and said: “ Will you give
me a hug?”.

51. Competitive symbiosis

52. Competitive symbiosis
What happens when two
people meet who both
want to take up the same
symbiotic role? If they
both want to be Parents,
or both seek to act Child?

53. Competitive symbiosis
When this is so, the
parties will begin
“jockeying for position”
in the hope of taking up
their preferred symbiotic
role.

54. Competitive symbiosis
For example, you may
have heard this kind of
exchange in a restaurant
as two people prepare to
pay up after the meal.

55. Competitive symbiosis
A: “Now, put that money
away. I will pay for this”
B : “No, no, come on, I
will pay”.
A : “ I absolutely insist!
Not another word!”

56. Competitive symbiosis
These transactions may
go on for some time,
with each party
escalating insistence on
paying. Each is seeking
to be Parent to the
other. They are in
competitive symbiosis –
in this case, competing
for the parent position.

57. Competitive symbiosis
By its nature,
competitive symbiosis is
unstable. Exchanges like
this usually last only for
a relatively short time.
They may conclude in
two possible ways.

58. Competitive symbiosis
The parties may storm
away from each other,
slamming doors as they
go. Or one of them may
back down and yield the
desired symbiotic
position to the other.
The one who has backed
down then takes the
complementary position
in the symbiosis.

59. Competitive symbiosis
For instance, the
exchange in the
restaurant might end
with one of the parties
saying: “ Ah, well, if you
insist…” and putting
away his wallet with a
show of reluctance.

60. Competitive symbiosis
He has backed down to
the Child position,
allowing himself to be
“looked after” by the
other person.

61. Second order symbiosis

62. Second order symbiosis
In some symbiotic
relationships, there is a
second symbiosis going on
underneath the first. This
kind of symbiosis is called
second order symbiosis
because it occurs within the
second order structure of
the Child Ego state.

64. Second order symbiosis
Relationship between
couples often entail
second order symbiosis.
Husband may be in the
parent – adult role while
wife plays child. He gets
to be in control and to
deal with practical
problems. She gets to be
controlled and express
feelings.

65. Second order symbiosis
On the level of first order
symbiosis, husband is
replaying the early decision:
“ The only way I can get by
is to be in charge and in
tight control of everybody,
including myself”. Wife’s
decision was : “My mission
in life is to please others,
especially men, and not to
think about things.”

66. Second order symbiosis
The first order symbiosis
represent their joint efforts to
get their needs met through
these script decisions. But
husband has another need.
This is the need for physical
strokes and comfort. This is a
part of the content of his C1,
the early Child in the Child.

67. Second order symbiosis
The trouble for husband is
that in making his later
script decisions, he shut out
those early Child needs. So
how to get them met now?
The answer is that in
choosing betty as his
symbiotic partner, he
adeptly picked someone
who would take up the
complementary role in the
second order symbiosis.

68. Second order symbiosis
Wife’s mother, like herself,
had married a strong, silent
man who was not keen to
give physical strokes. When
she was an infant, her father
was not been around much.
Mother had had no other
grown up to satisfy her own
early child needs for
stroking and being looked
after.

69. Second order symbiosis
With her acute infant
perception, she had decided
without words : “ To keep
mother around and in good
shape, I did better look after
her myself”. Using her own
rudimentary Parent and
Adult, P1 and A1, she
became caretaker to her
mother’s Somatic Child.
Now in grownup symbiosis,
she replays this pattern with
her husband.

70. Second order symbiosis
A symbiosis like this may be
particularly difficult to
break. Recall that stroking is
a survival issue for the early
child. Thus, in this example,
if wife makes to break out of
symbiosis, husband in this
somatic child may
experience mortal terror.
His child belief is that he is
about to lose his only
source of physical strokes
and that means death.

71. Second order symbiosis
At the same early child
level, wife may perceive
breaking the symbiosis as
meaning the loss of mother.
To the infant, this also
implies a death sentence.

72. Second order symbiosis
It is likely that neither
husband nor wife will allow
this early Child terror into
their awareness. Instead,
they are likely to find
rationalizations of why they
should continue in their
symbiotic relationship. If
they do want to break out
of that relationship, they
may need script insight and
therapeutic help.

73. References

74. Thank You