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Assistance for educators in Dealing with Difficult Parents
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Zhibei Wang 04/17/2020 Page: 5 Authoritarian or Authoritative Parenting Style: Which Is in Best Interest for Children Tough Love has gone viral on internet. It is a fanfic musical production about the stepmothers of Disney princesses. It is quite a mockery for the self-pitying but in fact cruel upbringing of the young girls. It is fictional and the stepmothers don’t love their stepdaughters necessarily, but we have to reflect on it: when we are parents, what are the best method to be taken so that our children can be responsible and positive grownups. Authoritarian or authoritative? It is a hot topic that never grows old; every parent has their reason to act upon. Experiencing quite a mix of harsh and lenient ways in my childhood, I find authoritative one more favorable. In the following paragraphs, I will talk about the advantages and disadvantages of both parenting styles. Positive authoritative are defined as parents to be instructive and highly responsive to the development of child growth (Baumrind, 1966); On the contrary, authoritarian is control over most aspects of children’s lives, to make sure they stay on track (Kuppens & Ceulemans, 2019). There are pros and cons to both sides. As of authoritarian, the most important outcome is the high academic performances. Authoritarian parents put a lot of effort into student’s schoolwork and extracurricular activities, such as playing piano or violin. They closely follow children’s daily routine, make sure every minute will not go wasted. They want every investment to give harvests. They take their children to all kinds of competitions, and win loads of certificates to quantify how successful and extraordinary the child is. They see children as another form of themselves, impose their dreams on children. Indeed, children who have worked all day, with all kinds of championships and scholarships could end up in ivy league and possibly win a prestigious job when graduated. It seems they have lived a life everyone desires and so it satisfies the parents. However, it is not the most favorable approach in academia, and there are a lot of downsides to it. First, it restrains the possibility of cultivating comprehensive personalities. Children become obedient to their parents, they cannot communicate well with their peers, their only profound relationship are with their parents throughout their lives, and it is no sign of a fully grown man. I personally have seen too much of a case. People who grow up under the shadow of their parents tend to be indecisive and too dependent on their parents. It is the consequence of psychological control of the authoritarian parenting. Whenever they speak of their mind, they got turned down or shouted back. Then they don’t speak much about themselves with self-centered parents, who think they are doing the best for kids. Under high pressures from parents and with no one can turn to, children are also bearing overwhelming stress and defeated feelings, which c ...
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