A discussion guide forLeadership and Self Deception written by the Arbinger Institute.

1. Leadership and Self-Deception
Getting Out of the Box
November 16, 2010

2. About the Arbinger Institute
The Arbinger Institute is a worldwide consulting company and think tank comprising
people who have been trained in business, law, economics, philosophy, family
dynamics, education, coaching, and psychology. Members of Arbinger come from
diverse cultural backgrounds and from all religious and nonreligious traditions and
belief systems. What they share is a deep understanding and passion for the ideas
underlying Arbinger's work--a compelling model of human understanding and
motivation that explains the ubiquitous problem of self-deception and how to solve it.
Arbinger's mission grows out of the work of an international team of scholars that
broke new ground in solving the age-old problem of self-deception, or what was
originally called "resistance." Arbinger was founded to translate this important work
on self-deception--and its solution--into practical effect for individuals, families, and
organizations worldwide.
Arbinger has grown from a small organization with only ten facilitators and staff
members in 2000 to an international organization with over 300 facilitators, coaches,
and staff members offering public courses, consulting and coaching services, and
tailored organizational interventions.
Arbinger's clients range from individuals who are seeking help in their lives to Fortune
500 companies and governmental institutions around the world including: Microsoft,
IBM, ATT, Lockheed Martin, Nike, Harley-Davidson, Intel, Nokia, USA Today, Cornell
University, the U.S. Navy, the U.S. Air Force, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, the
Justice Department, the Energy Department, and the Treasury.

3. What is Self-Betrayal?

4. Self-Betrayal Model
See It
Solve It
Do It
Wait & See
Tell Me What
To Do
Cover Your
Tail
Finger
Pointing
Ignore and
Deny

5. Self-Betrayal Model
See It
Solve It
Do It
Wait & See
Tell Me What
To Do
Cover Your
Tail
Finger
Pointing
Ignore and
Deny
Feeling:
Choice
Honor the Feeling: Betray the Feeling:

6. I Start to See …
See It
Solve It
Do It
Wait & See
Tell Me What
To Do
Cover Your
Tail
Finger
Pointing
Ignore and
Deny
Myself as The Other Person as

7. When I Betray Myself I …
See It
Solve It
Do It
Wait & See
Tell Me What
To Do
Cover Your
Tail
Finger
Pointing
Ignore and
Deny
Inflate others’ faults
Inflate own virtue
Inflate the value of things that justify my
point of view
Blame others

8. The Accountability Ladder
See It
Solve It
Do It
Wait & See
Tell Me What
To Do
Cover Your
Tail
Finger
Pointing
Ignore and
Deny
Self-Deceivers:
Wait and Hope it gets Better
Make Excuses Why They Can’t
Blame Others
Are Unaware of Their Own Contributions
Get On With It:
Make it Happen
Find Solutions
Own It
Acknowledge Reality
Model Adapted from ComPsych

9. Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to subscribe to the BBC? How do I
subscribe?
Yes, we would like to get to know you! To
subscribe, visit our website and click on
“Business Book Club.”
When is the next session?
The next session will be announced in January
2011.
Where can I order books?
You can find each book on our website. Your
purchases are processed through Amazon.com.
How can I recommend a book for the BBC?
We always love new ideas! Please let us know
your suggestions. If you are an author, please
submit a review copy for consideration.
What does The Meyvn Group do?
The Meyvn Group is a leadership
development firm. We specialize in human
resources consulting, training & development
and business coaching. Please visit our
website to learn more.
How can I contact you with additional
questions?
Contact us by phone at (515) 299-0983 or
email us at info@meyvngroup.com.
Visit us online at
www.meyvngroup.com

10. Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to subscribe to the BBC? How do I
subscribe?
Yes, we would like to get to know you! To
subscribe, visit our website and click on
“Business Book Club.”
When is the next session?
The next session will be announced in January
2011.
Where can I order books?
You can find each book on our website. Your
purchases are processed through Amazon.com.
How can I recommend a book for the BBC?
We always love new ideas! Please let us know
your suggestions. If you are an author, please
submit a review copy for consideration.
What does The Meyvn Group do?
The Meyvn Group is a leadership
development firm. We specialize in human
resources consulting, training & development
and business coaching. Please visit our
website to learn more.
How can I contact you with additional
questions?
Contact us by phone at (515) 299-0983 or
email us at info@meyvngroup.com.
Visit us online at
www.meyvngroup.com