Slides from new and all mentor training on June 2, 2016

1. Sarah Kremer, LPCC, ATR-BC
Training

3. “Mentoring” describes a relationship
between an older, more experienced adult
and an unrelated, younger protégé or mentee,
characterized by on-going guidance, instruction,
and encouragement provided by the adult
and aimed at developing the competence
and character of the mentee.
Rhodes, 2002

4. Youth mentoring is the practice of using
program-sponsored relationships
between an identified youth and
an older volunteer or paraprofessional
as a context for
prevention-focused activities and experiences
Cavell, 2011

5. At the of
positive mentoring effects
is the
development of a strong relationship
between mentor and youth.
Grossman and Johnson, 1999

6. The relationship
is
the intervention.
Johnston, 2005

7. J. Dorado & L. Dolce (2012), UCSF HEARTS, Child & Adolescent Services, UCSF/
SFGH
• Provide authentic empathy and attunement
• “No-matter-what” caring
• Don’t take mentee’s behavior personally
• Avoid blaming
• Reframe current situations as relational/
contextual factors vs. personal failure
• Convey hope and empowerment
• Be a strong advocate for your mentee
Strategies for Building Strong Mentoring
Relationships

8. #ShowUp

9. “Mentor practices that lead
to a disappointing relationship
can have an adverse effect,
eroding a youth’s self-esteem
and trust in adults.”
Grossman and Rhodes, 1999
Ineffective Mentoring

10. Ineffective Mentoring
-5
-4
-3
-2
-1
0
1
< 6 mos. 6-12 mos. > 12 mos.
Competence
Attendance
Prosocial
Abstinence
Grossman & Rhodes, 2001

12. #Listen

13. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BdbiZcNBXg

14. Active Listening
• Involves listening to each word, imagining driving
emotions behind what is being said, and regularly
feeding back what is being heard to person speaking
• Encourages tuning in and connecting more deeply
• More practice with active listening = better reading
emotions through words, tone, and micro expressions
• Increases empathy levels and helps to create positive
feelings in other person who's communicating with us:
people who previously reported feeling misunderstood
or not heard found more fulfillment when speaking with
someone practicing active listening

15. #Feedback

16. Communication
VERBAL
• Validating
• Catch doing right
• Strengths-based
• Persistent
• Short, simple, clear
NON-VERBAL
• Body language
• Eye contact
• Gestures
• Facial responses

17. Oreo Cookie Feedback Method
1. Begin with something
positive
2. Provide constructive
criticism
3. End with something positive

18. #MentorRole

19. A Mentor Is…
• Trusted friend
• Listener
• Coach
• Caring Guide
• Supporter
• Helper (when asked)
A Mentor Is Not…
• Savior
• Parent
• Fixer
• Cool Peer
• Tutor
• Cash machine

21. #Strengths
Based
Support

22. Resilience Approach

23. #CultureMatters

24. Impact of Culture
• Three big cultural areas
– Generational
– Family Systems
– Socioeconomic/Class
• Learn about and appreciate BOTH
similarities and differences
• Examine own prejudices and stereotypes

25. #Authenticity

26. “So I was like… not telling her anything. … I was telling her
some stuff, yeah. But then we started seeing each other, so
I’d tell her more stuff, like about me, and what I do and stuff
like that.” Shadow, a mentee
“He had to be real with me, you know. I can’t get close to
nobody without them being real with me, you know. And
without you being real with me, you can’t be close with me.
He brought it to me real, so I was like, okay.” Demetrious, mentee
Relational Intervention: Authenticity
Spencer, 2006

27. #Empathy

30. What does it feel like to be listened to?
Who has been or is the best listener in your life?
What did or do they do to be the best listener?
How well do you listen to others?
Activity: Pair Share

31. #Have
Fun

32. Success of
mentoring
relationship
What happens
during meetings
Goal-
directed
Relational
How mentors approach
mentoring relationship
Developmental
Instrumental How mentors and
mentees decide
what to do
together
Unilateral
Collaborative
Reciprocal
Karcher & Nakkula, 2010
What Works Best?

34. Activities
Goal-directed: explicit
outcomes are priority
Relational: building and
sustaining relationship is
priority

35. #Growth
Mindset

36. Set of beliefs or way of thinking that
determines one’s behavior, outlook,
mental attitude
Can be strongly influenced by what one is
led to think is more important: ability or
effort
Dweck, 2006
Growth Mindset

37. D
Dweck, 2006
“ABILITY” “EFFORT”

38. • Growth mindset isn't just about
effort; effort is means to end to
goal of learning and improving
• Growth mindset is intended to help
close achievement gaps, not hide
them
• Growth mindset is telling truth
about student's current
achievement and then, together,
doing something about it, helping
him or her become smarter
• We're all mixture of fixed and
growth mindsets
• We will probably always be
• If we want to move closer to
growth mindset in our thoughts
and practices, we need to stay in
touch with our fixed-mindset
thoughts and deeds

40. #Program
Support

41. Crisis Response
• If emergency response needed, contact 911
• Contact mentee’s parents/guardians
immediately
• Contact Director and Instructor staff
immediately
– Provide necessary intervention and/or referrals

42. Reporting Child Abuse
• Includes physical, emotional, sexual abuse
and neglect
• Always believe youth – they are telling adult
for reason
• Immediately report any suspicion of abuse
to program staff
• Program staff are mandated reporters and
must contact appropriate services within 72
hours
• May or may not know of resulting actions

43. Keeping Confidentiality
These examples do not fall under what is considered
confidential and must be reported by mentors immediately:
ü When mentee or another child is at risk of harm to
themselves or others
ü When mentee or another child is being abused,
neglected, or exploited
ü When mentee reveals clear intent to commit crime that
reasonably is expected to result in injury of person

44. #Closure

45. Imperative to have closure meeting
Many mentees’ experiences with endings
are poor
• Promises made are often not kept
• They may never know what caused
ending
• They often will believe it was their fault
All involved come to common
understandings and expectations

46. “Positive relationships
are seen as the primary way
that mentoring
leads to improved outcomes
for youth who are mentored.”
Nation, Keener, Wandersman, & DuBois, 2005

47. Homework
Highly recommended:
Paul Tough, 2012 and 2016

48. #GroupMentoring

49. Important leadership qualities
Create positive, warm climate
Actively listen
Make eye contact
Provide support
Avoid "should" statements
Take risks (i.e., identifying own feelings of
vulnerability)
Allow adolescents to have input into activities
Sensitive to group dynamics
Adolescent Group Therapy

50. Activity: Helium Stick
• Two rows face each other
• No talking
• Stick MUST rest on tops of
one finger for everyone at
all times
• Goal: lower stick to ground
all at once
• No pinching or grabbing
• If stick leaves anyone’s
finger, start over

51. Cultivate suggestions from other youth in group
before you offer your own suggestions
Create group “rules” or guidelines within the group
for collaborative enforcement and setting
expectations
Think of ways to make group special – names,
identities, etc. – and bring into as many situations
as possible
Facilitating Group Dynamics

52. Be sensitive
Build relationships with EACH mentee, not just one
or two that you click with
Create “rules” for group with mentees’ input, so
everyone can monitor each other and feel like
consequences (and rewards) are fair
Remember to be responsible adult role model
Tips for Managing Group
Mentoring Dynamics

53. Activity: Ecosystems
• Imagine your life when
you were somewhere
between ages of 11 and
17
• Fill in ecosystem with
who and what was
important to you then
• Share with listening
partner

55. Words of Wisdom