Making hard decisions juici.july2019

Hard Decisions
7/9/2019 www.AboveorBeyondJM.com 1

Dr. Leahcim Semaj

How To Make Hard Choices
(and not regret them later)

Life is about choices,
The decisions teen makes today can affect their life in
years to come,
long after high school is over.
Here are some key decisions

School:
 How do you plan to
spend your years in
school?
 Do you take your
studies seriously?
 How can you make the
most of your high
school years.

Plans Beyond High School
 You have to make major life decisions as high school
graduation nears.
 colleges to apply to?
 choosing an academic major?
 career path?
 Should I enter the working world upon graduation
 What kind of job?
 These future-oriented decisions have major consequences
on your life trajectory.

Friends:
 Do you surround herself
with people that
 lift you up and make
you feel supported?
 Do worry that you is
"supposed to be"
 friends with a certain
crowd of people?
 How do you feel about
popularity?

Parents:
 Do you crave more
freedom and fewer
restrictions from
parents?
 it will be important
that he understands
that those freedoms
come with additional
responsibilities.

Dating & Sex:
How you feel about
dating?
What do you know
about sex?
Are crystal clear on
the serious risks, both
physical and
emotional,
that come with any
serious romantic
relationship.

Addictions:
 Do you recognize the serious
dangers that accompany
alcohol and drug use?
 Curiosity is normal in teens,
 but nothing is more vital
than ensuring you makes
it out of your teen years
with your mind and body
intact and under your own
control.

Self-Worth:
 Do you see yourself in the best light possible,
 learns to love yourself - flaws and all?
 the temptations of drugs, drinking, ‘sculling’ school,
and sex before you are ready won't seem so tempting.
 How much do you feel you are worth?
 Examine your life and figure out ways you can
avoid compromising your character.

Peer Pressure
 Influence from their friends
can lead teens to make risky
decisions,
 such as whether they
choose to have sex, drink
alcohol or do drugs.
 Teens are more likely to
take risks when they're
around their friends
 friends who might also be
taking similar risks.

Peer Pressure
 Peer pressure, then,
represents both a
challenge and decision for
teens,
 as they struggle to
choose between what
they know is right and
what their friends are
doing.

Self-discovery
 Teens are rife with potential,
 but they might face challenges as they struggle to discover the
activities, interests and paths that appeal to them.
 teens learn by trying out different roles, responsibilities
and experiences.
 When teens do not have access to such learning
opportunities,
 they might have a hard time discovering what really makes
them happy.
 This path to self-discovery is a challenge during the
tumultuous teenage years.7/9/2019 www.AboveorBeyondJM.com 15

Stress
 Teens experience stress in
a number of ways.
 Conflicting pressure
from friends and parents
to behave a certain way
can cause stress.
 Stress can be a continuing
challenge for teens
 as they move through
their adolescence.

Dealing with Stress

What Other Decision?

Why Teens Make Bad Decisions

The biology of bad decision making in teens
 Brain studies show the
frontal lobe
 which is responsible
for decision-making,
impulse control,
sensation-seeking,
emotional responses
and consequential
thinking
 does not finish developing
until early-to-mid 20s.

The Brain & Psychological Maturity
The relationship
between brain
development and the
risk of making poor
choices, particularly
during hot
situations, is referred
to as psychosocial
maturity.

Research has shown
youth aged 12 to 17 years
 are significantly less psychosocially mature
than 18 to 23 years
 who are also less psychosocially mature
than adults (24 and older).

Teenagers’ psychosocial immaturity makes
them more likely to:
 seek excitement and engage in risk-taking behaviour
 make choices on impulse
 focus on short-term gains
 have difficulty delaying gratification
 be susceptible to peer pressure
 fail to anticipate consequences of their choices.

Helping teenagers make good decisions
 Gradual increases in autonomy and practice with
independent decision-making
 are vital for teenagers to become confident adults with good
emotional and social well-being.
 Although parents know poor choices are part of becoming
an adult,
 most want to protect their teenager from making very serious,
or illegal, choices.

Know vs. Do
 Most children demonstrate an
understanding of “right” and
“wrong” behaviour from an
early age.
 As language develops,
children are able to give clear
reasons as to why certain
behaviours are undesirable.

Know vs. Do
But children and teenagers have been found to be poor
decision-makers if they feel pressured, stressed or are
seeking attention from peers.
So it’s reasonable to expect a 15-year-old to know they
should not steal.
But they are less adept at choosing not to steal in the
presence of coaxing peers whom they wish to impress.

Hot and Cold Situations
 The difference between
what teenagers know and
what they choose can be
explained in terms
of “cold” and “hot”
situations.

Hot and Cold Situations
 Cold situations
 are choices made during times of low emotional arousal.
 During these periods, teenagers are able to make well-
reasoned and rational decisions.
 Hot situations
 refer to choices during periods of high emotional arousal (feeling
excited, anxious, or upset).

Teenagers
 may not make the decision they know is right if
they’re pressured, stressed or seeking approval
from mates.
 Hot situations
 increase the chance of teenagers engaging in risk-
taking and sensation-seeking behaviours, with little
self-control or consideration of the possible
consequences of their actions.

Emotional Arousal
 The impact of emotional arousal on decision-
making explains why teenagers might discuss, for
example,
 the negative consequences associated with drinking
and drug-taking,
 but then engage in those very behaviours when with
friends.

Chapter 2
7/9/2019 www.ABOVEorBEYONDJM.com 31

GOOD DECISION-MAKING
SKILLS CAN BE LEARNED,
There are 6 key steps to employ to make
better decisions

1. Be aware of upcoming events
that may present you with decisions
that need to be made.
What are your expectations about the
events (such as whether you expect to
drink alcohol)?
OTHER EXAMPLES?

2. Scenario Planning
What scenarios may present a risk, or will
require a decision
 (such as missing the bus home, friends
becoming intoxicated) to explore healthy, or
safer choices
 OTHER EXAMPLES

3. Stop and think.
You need to recognize “when in the
moment”
 to temporarily remove yourselves from a
situation to help make decisions away from
direct pressures (go to the bathroom, make a
phone call, text a friend)
 EXAMPLES?

4. Have a decision-making compass.
 Although teenagers are not able to consider all of the
potential consequences of a situation, to check whether a
decision is a good one,
 get them to consider whether they would tell you about their
decision
 (“would I want mum/dad/grandma/grandpa to know
about what I’m about do?”)
 WHAT IS YOUR COMPAS?

5. Ask for help.
You don’t have to make choices alone.
 Do you have contact details of people who can
be available to talk through options if they’re in
a difficult situation (siblings, parents, or
extended family)?
ANY OTHER?

6. Use mistakes as learning opportunities.
Teenagers may make some wrong choices.
 Use these lived experiences to generate
discussion about where the decision making
went wrong, and how to make better choices in
the future.
EXAMPLES

Steps to Good Decision Making
Skills for Teens
https://www.verywellfamily.com/steps-to-good-decision-
making-skills-for-teens-2609104
https://www.teenlife.ngo/how-to-help-teenagers-make-choices/

Teens make potentially life-
altering decisions every single
day.
Yet, most teens aren't ever given skills
about how to make healthy decisions.

As a result,
 some teens struggle when they're faced with
decisions like:
 Should I get a job?
 What should I say to a friend who offers me a
cigarette?
 Should I ask someone out on a date?
 Is it OK to become sexually active?

Good decision-making skills
can set you up for success later
in life.
good decision-making skills help you to
manage your stress levels better.

7 Steps To Effective Decision Making

Ethical Decision Making

Making Decisions

Chapter 2
9 July 2019 www.AboveorBeyondJM.com 46

Here is How
To Put It all Into Practice

1. Start with the small stuff.
We don’t get the big, important
choices right until we can
practice with the small stuff.
Consciously Engage in decision
making throughout the day in a
way that you can point back to.

You are what you do.

2. Choose one “hard” decision a day.
Something like eating salad instead of a
burger, or choosing to exercise instead of
watch TV.
Learning to make the harder, but better
choice builds up the confidence to make
the right choices in the long run.

You are what you DO

3. Take ownership of your choices.
So if things unravel and blow up after a decision, you tell
why they did it, why it failed, and what is the plan to do in
the future that might be different.
Failure is not a bad thing.
Failure is something to learn from, but you have to take
ownership to begin with.

4. Seek Guidance
Be willing to ask for help from
someone whose judgement you trust.
“The wise man learns from the mistake
of the fool”

Mistakes?

Accident?
One Time
 – accident
Two Times
 – purpose
Three Times
 - woklissness

5. Identify the Problem
Sometimes, you ignore problems or blame other people for them.
You may say You are failing math because your teacher doesn't explain the
assignments.
Or, you may avoid doing your homework because you are too anxious to face the
pile of work you have been avoiding.
So sometimes, it's important to spell out the problem.
ASK YOURSELF: "What is REALLY going on here?"

6. Brainstorm Options
identify YOUR options.
You may think there are only one or two solutions to a problem.
But with some time and encouragement, you can usually come up with a long list of creative
solutions.
Challenge yourself to identify as many choices as possible even if they seem like a bad idea.
List as many as you can.
Write down the options so that you can review them.

7. Review the Pros and Cons
Once you have a list of
options,
identify the potential pros
and cons of each one.
Writing down the pros and cons will help you see for
yourself which option could be the best choice.
Sometime you have to make decisions between good
choices.

8. Create a Plan to Move Forward
Once you have reviewed the pros and cons of your options,
evaluate how to move forward.
Identify what steps you can take next.
Examining whether the choice was effective could help you
learn and assist you in making even better decisions in the
future.

TALK VS. ACTION

DO YOU

TODAY

9 July 2019 www.AboveorBeyondJM.com 65

How Does Jamaica Produce So Many
World Champions?
 Your behaviour can be a function
 Of your decisions
 Not your conditions
First Country to
win Men and
Women 100,
200 & Hurdles
at any major
Intl Games

7/9/2019 67
The Lessons
Berlin, Moscow, London, Bejing

7/9/2019 68
LESSONS FROM BEIJING
A powerful raw
potential is ever
present in the
Jamaican psyche;
when not productively
harnessed,
it becomes destructive

7/9/2019 69
LESSONS FROM OUR CHAMPIONS
 1. These World Class
Performers are largely
children of rural peasants and
the urban poor
 not from those with privilege and
genetic connections
 2. They all started with the
DECISION that
 IT COULD BE DONE and
that they COULD DO IT

7/9/2019 70
3. They aligned themselves
with persons who shared
their vision
 OF WORLD CLASS PERFORMANCE
4. They acquired all the
information that was
needed to achieve success
 no shortcuts, no blyes

7/9/2019 71
5. They made all the
necessary sacrifices
6. They committed
themselves 100% to
achieving the outcome
body, mind and spirit

7/9/2019 72
When the flag waving stops
Those of us who, in our own lives, do what
the athletes did,
 will increase our chances of getting our
equivalent rewards

7/9/2019 73
When the flag waving stops
 Did I improve my PR in my
work today?
 What do I need to do to
beat the National Record?
 What do I need to do to
beat the World Record?
 To become a World Class
Performer
WHAT HAVE YOU DECIDED?

The Way Forward
If you want to get
something you have
never had
You must DECIDE to
do something you
have never done
Continue Your Evolution

Hard Decisions

Dr. Leahcim Semaj

Making hard decisions juici.july2019

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