life skills a learning process

1. Life consists not in holding good cards
but in playing those you hold well.
Its all about living your life not spending it

2. Add life to the days not
days to the life…
Dr. Smaranika
Tripathy
Clinical
Psychologist
Colombia Asia
Hospital, Kolkat
a

3. Definition of Life Skills
Life Skills means "abilities for adaptive and positive
behavior that enable individuals to deal effectively with
the demands and challenges of everyday life

4. Exploring Life Skills
What Skills Do I Have?
Objectives
To explore the concept
of life skills.
To know the life skills
used by the people in
their day-today life

5. Exploring Life Skills
“All of us have”,
“Some of us have” and
“None of us have”.
Human for the sake of
getting a living forget to
live.....

6. Failing to Plan is Simply Planning to Fail
• Health, Family, Vacation, Hobbies/Stres
s Relief
• Deadlines, Workload, Overtime, Trainin
g
.To ignore or deny this balance is setting
yourself for disappointment
and dis-ease
• Work Career Plan -
Technical, Management
You must always be training for the next
level up if you wish to advance

7. Life is like a game of tables, the chances are not in our
power, but the playing is
Communicating Skills
• Listening to understand -
accept, clarify, ask, summarize
• Conveying Ideas - state purpose &
intent, convey meaning & feeling
clearly, check for understanding, focus
discussion, summarize
• Different communication styles
• Negotiated problem solving - focus on
situation, not on personalities, specific
examples to substantiate, rely on
behavioral language, be
patient, summarize & check for
understanding frequently

8. Dig Your well before you are thirsty
NETWORKING
• Why, with whom, what will I
be able to
contribute, gain?, when/where
• if you help others, they will be
more likely to help you
• follow up with
leads, acknowledge sources
• thank contacts
• do what you promised to do
• keep your antenna up

9. Leadership is not about position; it’s about doing
• Live & work with paradoxes • Anticipate the future
• push the frontiers rather than follow • stick your neck out
• promote innovation • focus on the real work, not the
• influence and guide mundane
• act as catalysts • deal with ambiguities - can you
• champion causes rationalize fuzzy data
• have that invisible something that
attracts followers
• articulate a vision and make it happen
• focus on customers

10. Conflict Holds Creative Potential
• Win/Win - Conflict can be healthy when it
brings out new ideas & relationships
• Win/Lose - distrust, anger, withdrawal
Conflict is Unavoidable & Common
Negotiation is primary key to resolve
Conflict & Negotiation are central parts of
Organizational Life

11. Conflict - in everyday Life
• Intrapersonal
• interpersonal
• Intra group
• intergroup
• Intra organization
• Inter organization

12. Handling Conflict
• Competing-assert your position
w/o opposing view points
• Avoiding-stall, ignore, sense of
timing
• Collaborating-fully satisfying both
sides (relationship is important)
• Accommodating-forgoing (your)
concerns (selfless)
• Compromising-negotiating,
finding middle ground
Do Not Over Use Anyone

13. Office Politics
You have to play politics always. Remember, there is good politics &
there is bad politics.
• managing your boss
• managing your peers-relations w/ coworkers trickier
than managers
• who are your angels?
• Nobody wins unless everybody wins
• Don’t just ask for opinions, change them
• Everyone expects to be paid back
• Success can create opposition
• Don’t ignore the aftermath of success

14. What is your brand?
- When you have Joe’s word, you can take it to the
bank
- No matter when I go and what question I
have, Mary has given me satisfactory answer almost
all the time on this project
- When you see my name on a technical document, it
comes with
100% guarantee - no equivocation!
- When you assign testing to Kumar, good as gold.
- Russ’s thought process, judgment & communication
at right time has never let me down
- When in doubt, I always count on Dawn for my
answers
- Wow, you make a great teacher/mentor/debugger ..
You cannot be all things to everybody. Understand
your strengths & create a positive branding of you

15. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
• Avoid Weatherproofing
• Choose your battles wisely
• Praise & blame are all the same
• Do one thing at a time
• Just for fun, agree with criticism
directed towards you (& watch it go
away)
• Surrender to the fact that Life isn’t fair
• Look for the extraordinary in the
ordinary
• Give up on the idea that More is
Better
…. And it is all small stuff …..

16. Now, theNow, the Big Stuff
Big Stuff
• Differentiate & understand Headlines vs. Trendiness
• Don’t Burn Your Bridges
• Learn to Prioritize
• “And then more” – Overachieve on expectations
• Milk a cow, Don’t milk a duck
• Time Management - front loading, & multi-tasking
• Time Management, Relationship Management, Career Management, Anger
Management
• Money, Money, Money
-Power of Compounding - Save $$$$ .. Did you know ..?
- good credit(student loan, buying a house)
& bad credit (car, furniture, ..)
• Member of a Professional Society
• Quality of Life for You and people around You
• Disillusionment at Work-
too much idealism gets in the way of progress; be philosophical in approach
…… if you screw up, go back & ask:
What can I do REGAIN your confidence in me?
…. And it is Big stuff …..

17. … and some more
01. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
When people accept additional responsibility they
are actually giving themselves a promotion. People
who don’t accept responsibility shift the blame on
others. Petty minds are busy passing the buck rather
than doing what needs to be done. For evils to
flourish, good people have to do nothing & evil shall
flourish
02. CONSIDERATION
Show consideration, courtesy & politeness.
Thoughtfulness shows a caring attitude.
03. THINK WIN/ WIN
When we serve our family. Customers, employees
etc. We must think win/ win. The result is happiness,
prosperity & gratification

18. … and some more
04. CHOSE THE WORDS CAREFULLY:
It is said that spoken words can not be retrieved. A
fool speaks without thinking while a wise man
thinks before speaking. The way parents speak to
their children in many instances shapers their
destiny.
05. DO NOT CRITICIZE & COMPLAIN:
We should criticize with a spirit of helpfulness
rather than as a put down. Criticize the behavior
but not the person. The right to criticize comes
with a desire to help.
Some people are chromic complainers. If it is
hot, it is too hot of it is cold. It is too cold.
Everyday is a bad day.
They complain even everything goes right. If the
complain is done in a positive way it becomes very
useful.

19. 06. SMILE & BE KIND:
… and some more A smile costs nothing, but it creates much. It
improves the face value. A smiling face is always
welcome.
07. BE A GOOD LISTENER:
Listen shows caring, when we show a caring
attitude towards another person, that person
feels important, as result he gets motivated &
more receptive to your ides. Listen to the
feeling, is not just words
08. BE ENTHUSIASTIC:
Enthusiasm inspires confidence, raise
moral, builds loyality & priceless. You can feel
enthusiasm the way a person talks, walks & shakes
hands.
09. WHEN WE MAKE MISTAKES, ACCEPT IT:
Some people live & Learn, while other live &
never learn. Mistakes are to be learned from. The
greatest mistake a person can make is to repeat it.
When you realize your mistake, it is a good idea to
accept it.

20. … and some more
09. GIVE HONEST & SINCERE APPRECIATION:
One of the deepest desires of human beings is the
desire to be appreciated. The feeling of being un
wanted is hurtful. Sincere appreciation is one of
the greatest gifts one can give to another person. It
makes a person feel important.
“The biggest disease to day is not Leprosy or
tuberculosis but rather the feeling of being
unwanted.”
11. DO NOT ARGUE:
There are some personalities that can be labeled
as argumentative & that shows in their behavior &
relationship. The best way to win an argument is to
avoid it. An argument is one thing you will never
win. If you win, you lose: if you lose, you lose. It
may so happen that you can win an argument but
loose a good job, customer, a friend & even
marriage etc.

21. … and some more
12. DO NOT GOSSIP:
It is a fact that people who gossip with you also
gossip about you in your absence. Gossip can
lead to slander defamation of character. People
who listen to gossip are as guilt as those who do
the gossiping.
13. BE GRATEFUL & DO NOT EXPECT
GRATITUDE:
Gratitude improves our personality & builds
character. It is a feeling of thankfulness to words
others. When people ask others to do
something’s for them by using the phrase “By
the way can you do this for me ? They
undermine the importance of doing or not
doing. I have found that if we have to do any
thing for any one it is never by the way, it is
always “Out of the way”

22. … and some more
14. BE DEPENDABLE & PRACTICE LOYALITY:
“An ounce of loyalty is worth more than a
pound of clearness” is Universal & eternal. If
you have some one with all the ability but he is
not dependable, do you want him to he part of
your team. No not at all.
15. FORGIVE & FORGET
When a person refuses to forgive, he is looking
doors that some day he might need to open. It
is believed that “Forgive the other person but
do not forget their names. It means that you
should not get cheated twice.
16. PRACTICE HUMILITY
Confidence without humility is arrogance.
Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is sign
of greatness.

23. … and some more
18 TO HAVE FRIEND, BE A FRIEND:
We keep looking for the right
employer, right
employee, spouse, parent, child & so on. We
forget that we have to be the right person
too. Experience has shown that there is no
perfect person, no perfect job etc. When we
look for perfection, we are disappointed.
A fair weathered friend is like a banker who
lends you his umbrella when the sun is
shinning & takes it back the minutes it rains.
We must learn to recognize counterfeit
relationship. True friends do not want to see
their friends hurt. True friendship gives
more than if gets & stands by adversity.
19. SHOW EMPATHY:
The wrong we do to others & what we suffer
are weighed differently. Empathy alone is a
very important characteristic of a positive
personality.

24. … and some more
20. PRACTICE COURTESY ON A DAILY BASIS:
A courteous person, who is not very sharp, will
go further in life than a discourteous but sharp
person. It is the little things that make a big
difference. Have you ever been bitten by an
elephant? The most obvious answer is no. Have
you ever been bitten by a mosquito? Most of us
have. It is the little irritants that test patience.
Courtesy is made of nothing moral than many
petty scarifies. Courtesy is an offshoot of deep
more behavior. It costs nothing but pays well.
When we share sorrow, it divides when we
share happiness, it multiplies

25. All About Choices
Choosing friends
Choosing how you think/feel
interpretation of criticism/feedback
(watch out for recreational critics !)
spending time
equipping yourself with occupational
armor - training, network,
nurture peer & boss
relationships
choosing assignments
Make the Right Choices

26. The query: “At Auschwitz, tell me, where was God?”
And the answer: “Where was man?”
You have a role to play in this world-a reason for
being here. But it is up to you to find your
part and direct your future.
You alone determine your destiny through your
own efforts. Accept this responsibility-not
just for yourself, but for us all. You have the
power to change your life and the lives of
others as well. Don’t back away from the
exercise of this power or wait for some one
else to act. Of course you can get what you
want, but part of what you want should be
to help others along the way.
The good life is not a passive existence where
you live and let live. It is one of involvement
where you live and help live.