This document discusses various topics related to parenting and substance abuse prevention. It provides statistics showing high rates of alcohol and drug use among teens. It discusses protective factors like self-esteem, role models, and activities that can help prevent substance abuse. The document suggests parenting styles with clear communication, encouragement, and supervision can help prevent drug use. It provides tips for talking to kids about drugs at different ages and questions parents can ask themselves to build skills to prevent drug use.

1. Parenting style matters in substance abuse
prevention

2. • Nonprofit organization that
connects healthcare professionals
who want to give back to society.
• Its aim is to create a platform,
where they can share ideas and
experiences, provide mutual
support and collaborate, channel
their own personal passions and
skills in community projects both
locally and abroad.
• Inspired by the white
tulip flower, which is
an important symbol
of purity, caring,
and aspiration.

3. • National Family Partnership,
was established as a
nonprofit organization in
1980 by a handful of
concerned and determined
parents who were
convinced they should begin
to play a leadership role in
drug prevention.

4. Growing up drug free

5. Statistics
• Two out of three of students said they drank alcohol
(more than just a few sips) by the end of high school.
• ~ 26 % of them did so by 8th grade.
• Nearly half of 12th graders and one in nine 8th graders
reported being drunk at least once in their life.
Johnston et al, 2016

6. Statistics
• Almost half of 12th graders and nearly one third of 10th
graders said they had used marijuana.
• Drugs cause a death in the United States every 13
minutes.
• More people die from accidental drug overdose in the
United States each year than in motor vehicle accidents.
Johnston et al, 2016

7. Types of substances

8. Prescription medications

9. Street drugs

10. Others

11. Why do kids use
drugs or
alcohol?
Relieve boredom
,stress
Curiosity
Want to feel
grown up or to
lessen peer
pressure by peers,
bullying.
Poor grades in
school
Substance use
disorders by family
members
Conflict between
parents or
between parents
and children

12. PROTECTIVE
FACTORS
• Having high self-esteem
• Attending a school with policies against using
alcohol and drugs
• Having an adult role model who doesn’t use
tobacco or drugs, or misuse alcohol
• Participating in athletic, community, or faith-
based groups
• Living in a community with youth activities that
prohibit drugs and alcohol

14. An important goal is to
change the balance so
the effects of
protective factors
outweigh those of risk
factors.

15. How do I talk to
my child about
drugs?
Suggestions for talking to
preschoolers, elementary students,
middle, high school students

16. Conversation
starters
■ If you see a young person smoking, talk about
the negative effects of tobacco.
■ If you see an interesting news story, discuss it
with your child.
Did a driver who was drinking run over and kill
someone?
Did a young couple who did drugs lose custody of
their children?
Ask how your child feels about situations and the
potential consequences.

17. Conversation
starters
• While watching a movie or TV show with your
kids, ask if they think it makes tobacco, alcohol,
and drugs look cool.
• If you read or hear about someone affected by
substance use, remind your child that
preventing drug use is important but that some
people develop substance use disorders.

18. How to start conversation?
• Substance abuse and Mental Health Services
Administration (SAMHSA) has a campaign called
“Talk. They Hear You.”
• The app also suggests questions to ask and gives
ideas for keeping the conversation going.
www.samhsa.gov/underage-drinking/parent

20. Will parenting
matter?
• Adolescents who have a good bond with an
adult are less likely to engage in risky
behaviors.
Adolescent health, 2016
www.healthypeople.gov

21. • https://www.drugabuse.gov/family-checkup

22. Five questions that build
parenting skills to help prevent
drug use

23. Question 1. Communication
• Are you able to communicate calmly and clearly
with your teenager regarding relationship
problems, such as jealousy or need for
attention?

24. Question 2. Encouragement
• Do you encourage positive behavior habits in
your teenager on a daily basis?

25. Question 3. Negotiation
• Are you able to negotiate emotional conflicts
with your teenager and work toward a solution?

26. Question 4. Setting limits
• Are you able to calmly set limits when your
teenager is defiant or disrespectful?

27. Question 5. Supervision
• Do you monitor your teenager to assure that he
or she does not spend too much unsupervised
time with peers?

28. • Substance abuse and other problem behaviors
have roots in developmental changes that occur
in early childhood .
• While prevention can be effective at any age, it
can have particularly strong effects when applied
early.

29. How to help
kid’s
aggression/
anger early
years?

30. Understanding
The Feelings
Behind
Aggressive
Behaviors
Aggression in the early years is
not a sign of a bad child or bad
parenting.
Aggression (hitting, biting,
screaming) are all signs a child is
in need of guidance.
Children don't act out
aggressively unless they are
distressed.

31. Understanding The Feelings Behind
Aggressive Behaviors
Common causes for aggressive behaviors in the early years are
related to feelings of frustration, upset, sadness or anxiety.
Before your child hits or bites, she is likely to experience a mix
of emotions.
The part of your child’s brain that controls outbursts and
reactions is still under construction.

32. Help them find new and better ways
to express what they are feeling is
more important than just stopping
the biting and hitting

33. Self-Regulation
• Having the ability to monitor
and control our own thoughts,
behaviors and respond
appropriately to each
situation.
• Essential for emotional well-
being .
• You can't make a child have it,
you can help them grow it.

34. How parents self-regulate and communicate with their children builds a
path for the development of a child's own self regulation skills as well.
Your interactions with your child while they are acting out actually can
have a great impact on your child's long term well-being.

35. Encourage
Self-Regulation
with Empathy,
Validation and
Emotional
Release

36. • Research shows that a warm and responsive
parenting style, one that allows a full expression
of feelings, helps children better develop self-
regulation skills.
• Such a supportive parenting style also offers long
term benefits to a child's overall psychological
well-being (Kim, 2012. Carmody, 2015).

37. Play
• For the toddlers, preschoolers,
having an outlet for their
frustration, anger or upset is all
very important.
• Release energy; all help prevent
biting, hitting and other
aggression from building up.
• Skills related to working out
conflicts with their peers.

38. Focus on a
CAN DO plan:
• You CAN come to me if you need help sharing.
You CAN tell the teacher if you need help.
You CAN come to me if you feel upset.
We CAN take a break together if you need me.
• If your can do plan is positive and free of
punishments, your child will feel safe coming to
you when her feelings are overwhelming and in
turn you will be able to offer guidance to get your
child back on track.

39. Use Alternatives To Traditional
Discipline
• Young children can't comprehend the
rationale for punishments.
• They trust you to help them, to keep
them safe.
• It's scary to a child who is already feeling
overwhelmed with emotions to be sent
to sit alone or to have a favorite toy taken
away.

41. When children choose aggression to
communicate unmet needs and difficult feelings
and we choose to punish them, we are ignoring
the very root of the problem.
Only stopping the behavior, without
actually teaching the child how to manage
what they feel, is like pretending you don't
have a flat tire when you really do.

42. Helpful
Alternatives
To
Punishment
For Aggressive
Behaviors:
• Calm Down Plan: Sit with your child and listen to them
and help them figure out what will help them choose
differently.
• Breathing Games: Teach your child how to take calming
breaths such as being a bunny or big lion to release
stress.
• Making pictures: “How big is your anger" and “How big is
your Fear" pictures are often helpful for children to start
talking about what they are feeling and how they can
choose to change their behavior

43. What are the two most important
emotional needs of kids?

44. Belonging
Significance

45. Parent’s
personality
assessment
Our personality priority (natural tendency),
determines our reactions to kids
Most of the problem is our reactions, the
way we respond to them
It is us who create power struggles
You can override it and get more +response

46. Parent personality
SUPERIORITY CONTROLLING PLEASING COMFORTING

47. Ego states of personality
1. PARENT 2. ADULT 3. CHILD

48. Mind- Body-
Soul Time
• Time spent between one parent and
one child
• Emotionally available ( child ego state)-
fully present
• Doing what the child wants to do
• 10 min , once a day, every day
• One time per day with each child
• Scheduling time reduces their anxiety
about when they will get their next one
to one with you

49. Mind- Body-
Soul Time
• Feeling great about yourself as a parent
• Emotional nutrician for you and your
kid
• Fewer attention -seeking / poer
seeking behavior
• Fosters emotional connection

50. Attention bucket & Power bucket
We can give them what they need in a positive way

51. Being a
teenager is
hard!
Hormones
Peers
Friendships
School
Love
Mood swings

52. Top 3
parenting
blunders
Wrong job description
We loose sight

53. What is your end game?

54. Skill sets
Responsibility
Decision making
Financial accountability
Health & Wellness
Household tasks
Social Skills

55. Completely
independent
Completely
dependent

56. Top 3
parenting
blunders
Pendulum parenting
Overly
permissive Overly strict

57. Not being on their team
• Ordering, correcting, directing
• Unreasonable expectations
• Too much control
Becoming more controlling as their need for
autonomy increases

58. Survival tools
“Convince me”, in addition to “
Yes”, “ No”
Responsibility, freedom
Develop empathy, problem
solving skills, presentation skills

59. Consequences
to be used only
for repeated
mistakes
Respectful Related
Reaosanable Revealed
Repeated

60. • Take first mistakes as an opportunity
• Be crystal clear about consequences
• Keep privilege? She chose
• Don’t piggy back
• I see you chose to loose your phone privilege, but I have full
confidence you will make a better choice next time!
• Allow to save face

61. • No 100 rules
• Pick the ones that are most important (black & whites)
• Use consequences only sparingly

62. Encouraging & Empowering
• Let little stuff go
• Shift the balance of communication (your child’s perception of your
relationship)
They are going to be more cooperative
Use your calm voice (x yelling, x nagging )

63. Mutual
Bossing

64. What is your plan?
It assumes she has
a plan, even she
doesn’t, saves a
face and makes one
Let me know if I
can help with
anything in any way

65. I hear you..
I hear you, it is my least favorite but you do such a good contribution to this family

66. Invite cooperation with a smile
• You know sweety, I am going to do…, anything you do to
help me will be awesome.
• Thank you soo much, that is a huge help!
• Demanding cooperation won’t be as effective

67. What if they
are rude,
disrespectful?
• “Anger “ is a secondary emotion, in
response to “hurt”
• Dig down a little bit
• What is that behavior telling us?
• Do you really know what is going on?

68. You seem…..
You don’t have to tell me. Is there
anything I can do help?
I feel……when you……and I wish……..
(share your feelings)

69. • Don’t give wrong message
“ I have no confidence on you that you will do this if I don’t give
this now”
• Message they receive:
Why would I ever do that w/o a treat?
What’s in it for me?
• Standford research

70. external
motivation
Internal
motivation

71. Give up some control
• Think about areas where you ca let go

72. Your goal is not to
be correct, but
emotionally
connect

73. Improve your energy
How are you showing up?
Get yourself in a positive way
You are not going to change their attitude until you change
your energy and voice

76. Personal time..

77. References