Rebuilding trust after your spouse has had an affair is no small undertaking. If you have been victimized by an affair that your spouse had, you were lied to in some fashion, whether directly or by your spouse simply withholding information and being deceptive. Either way, once you learned of the affair, the trust that existed between the two of you clearly was broken.

1. Rebuilding Trust After an Affair - 2 Things You Will Want to Ask For to Rebuild
the Trust
Rebuilding trust after your spouse has had an affair is no small undertaking. If you have been
victimized by an affair that your spouse had, you were lied to in some fashion, whether directly
or by your spouse simply withholding information and being deceptive. Either way, once you
learned of the affair, the trust that existed between the two of you clearly was broken.
If you are reading this article, there is a good chance that you have done a search to find out
how to rebuild trust between you and your spouse after an affair, which means you have
decided or are at least strongly considering saving your marriage. At this point, often there is a
very legitimate question posed: “How do I know when my spouse is lying to me or not?”
Unfortunately, the answer is not necessarily 100% clear. There are people who’s professions
train them to detect when someone is lying, and they know there are no foolproof methods to
determine when someone is lying or not.
In light of that, perhaps there is a better question you may want to be asking yourself and that
is this: “How will I know when it is time to begin trusting again?”
The answer to this question, quite frankly, can only be asked by you. Trust is lost in an instant,
generally at the time you discover you have been betrayed. And to regain trust or rebuild it
takes time. How long depends on you, and no-one, not even a professional, can determine how
long that will take for you. It is a totally based on each individual.
First and foremost, your offending spouse must be 100% willing to regain your trust. The first
step to this, of course, is to break off the affair and totally cut off communication from their
paramour. In the beginning stages, you will find that there are some things that are basic that
you clearly trust your spouse on. For example, he or she may say, “I am running down to the
mailbox,” and you have no doubt as to their being genuine. However, they might say, “I am
running late from work,” and you find yourself becoming suspicious, even though it is indeed
the case.
When rebuilding trust after an affair, there are two things you may want to ask for:
1. Reassurance in Word

2. Request that your spouse to do what they say they are going to do, even if it may seem to be a
bit trivial. If they say they are going to the store and will return home right after, then they
should prove their word by doing exactly that - not stopping off anywhere else on the way.
Now, many cheaters may at first balk at this, thinking they are somehow being put under a
microscope or are under some sort of house arrest. But quite frankly, that’s one of the
repercussions of cheating, and at this point it is up to them to comply and rebuild the trust that
they damaged.
2. Reassurance in Deed
The other type of reassurance you will want to request when rebuilding trust after an affair has
to do with transparency. Ask your spouse for details pertaining to their lives and activities and
expect them to be open and honest about whom they are associating with.
Many times these days, the computer is involved when it comes to affairs, particularly with the
advent of social media. Ask your spouse to share their password with you so that you may
check in from time to time until you feel comfortable that you can once again trust them.
These are just a couple of steps to rebuilding trust after affair. To restore yourself, fully rebuild
the trust, and save your marriage from divorce I strongly recommend for you to download this
7-Part course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg. Click here now for instant access:
http://www.marriage-sherpa.info.
Taylor Ranidae is passionate about love and relationships and writes articles focusing on
helping people save their relationships and marriages. Her articles are a must read for anyone
who is looking to either salvage or further enhance their relationship.