Most open group discussions are characterized by an aggressive competition for floor time by a few dominant individuals and withdrawal by those who are more soft spoken or less successful at "jumping in."  This leads to a general atmosphere where no one really listens to the other points of view and those who do speak often feel (rightly) that they are not really being heard.  The problem is exacerbated when the viewpoint expressed are widely divergent or controversial.

1. Quaker Dialogue
and other
Most open group discussions are characterized by an aggressive
competition for floor time by a few dominant individuals and withdrawal by
those who are more soft spoken or less successful at "jumping in." This
leads to a general atmosphere where no one really listens to the other
points of view and those who do speak often feel (rightly) that they are not
really being heard. The problem is exacerbated when the viewpoint
expressed are widely divergent or controversial.
Thomas@Neuville.net

2. Quaker values emphasize respect for
each individual. Over the years they
have evolved a process that enables
dialogue groups to function without
the negative side-effects. The
process is deceptively simple:
Thomas@Neuville.net

3. The Process
 A question is formulated that each person is asked
to address.
 Each person speaks in turn, usually going around a
circle.
 Anyone may pass and take their turn later if they
don't feel ready when their turn comes around.
 Each speaker takes as long as needed to fully
express himself or herself, consistent with the
number of people in the group and the time
available.
 No one is allowed to comment on or rebut anyone
else's statement.
Thomas@Neuville.net

4. The power of this process is remarkable. It needs to
be experienced to be fully appreciated. If, for example,
there are 10 people in the group, each person can
speak until they are satisfied that they have expressed
themselves fully and been truly heard. Furthermore,
each person spends 90% of the time listening.
Thomas@Neuville.net

5. There is freedom to really listen because
one is not simply waiting for a pause to
jump in. People are not cut off, put down,
or squeezed out. The goal is not to "win"
the argument or convert the other person to
a particular point of view, but in fact this
open process promotes growth and change
by promoting full expression and real
listening.
Thomas@Neuville.net

6. It also promotes respect and understanding
of a diversity of viewpoints. The process
can work well even with widely divergent
or potentially hostile points of view being
expressed.
Thomas@Neuville.net

7. COMMUNITY AND
COMMUNICATION
Community cannot exist without communication, and
the way people communicate determines the
quality of individual and group relationships.
Healthy communication reconciles differences,
deepens intimacy, fosters a sense of wholeness,
and opens individuals to a broader view of
themselves and of others. It is the primary avenue
by which a group moves from functional to
conscious community.
Thomas@Neuville.net

8. THE TAO OF DIALOGUE
 "Dialogue is not just talking with one another.
More than speaking, it is a special way of
listening to one another - listening without
resistance…it is listening from a stand of
being willing to be influenced."
 Sarita Chawla as quoted in Dialogue.
Thomas@Neuville.net

9. "DIALOGUE" COMES FROM THE
GREEK "DIALOGOS"
 Logos means "the word," or in our case we would
think of "the meaning of the word,"
 and dia means "through" (not two -- dialogue can be
among any number of people; even one person can
have a sense of dialogue within him- or
herself if the spirit of the dialogue is present).
Thomas@Neuville.net

10. Dialogue & Flow
 The image this derivation suggests is of a stream of
meaning flowing among us and through us and
between us -- a flow of meaning in the whole group, out
of which will emerge some new understanding,
something creative. When everybody is sensitive to all
the nuances going around, and not merely to what is
happening in one's own mind, there forms a meaning
which is shared And in that way we can talk together
coherently and think together. It is this shared meaning
that is the "glue" or "cement" that holds people and
societies together.
Thomas@Neuville.net

11. Possible Rules for Dialogue
 Suspend Roles and  Befriend Polarization
Status  Speak when Moved
 No Leader  Suspend (reveal)
 No Task Assumptions
 No Decisions  Devalue Consistency
 Listen and Speak  Maintain a Spirit of
without Judgement Inquiry
 Slow down the Inquiry
Thomas@Neuville.net

12. Politeness and Pretending
Chaos
Discarding and Redefining
Resolution
Closure
Thomas@Neuville.net

13. DEVELOP THE ART OF…
 Speaking authentically
 Speaking fully one's mind and heart
 Listen deeply and suspend judgment
 Seek to understand diverse viewpoints
 Engage in the spirit of inquiry
 Incorporate verbal and non-verbal
communication
 Building capacity for mindful attention
Thomas@Neuville.net

14. Clearness Committee
 Within the Religious Society of Friends the clearness
committee represents a process for discernment.
Clearness Committees are often used when a
member of the meeting seeks to reach clarity on how
to respond to a concern or dilemma. Because
Friends believe that every person has within him or
her that of supreme excellence, sometimes called the
inner light, the process is one of aiding the person
seeking clearness in finding the answer within rather
than seeking outside advice or guidance. A clearness
committee can be requested by anyone for any
reason and will usually be appointed by one of the
standing committees of the meeting.
Thomas@Neuville.net