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Walking the
                  Walk: Real
                Revision in the
                 Classroom

                  Kate Messner
                     WSRA

http://www.katemessner.com
www.katemessner.com/WSRA
Assignment:

Write for three
minutes, describing a
place that you love.
So…what are you
  writing these
      days?
As I have been writing this summer, I feel like
I have had moments when I can identify with
authors I have heard speak or authors I have
read about. There are so many things I have
heard authors say that I now can identify with
since I am writing, too. I strongly believe in
my own reflection and introspection to guide
how I work with students.

Read more: Jen Vincent’s Teach Mentor Texts Blog
http://www.teachmentortexts.com/2012/07/tmt-summer-writing-group-
week-seven.html#axzz22AK6Adae
“The Book in My
    Mind…”
WHAT REVISION ISN’T…
 Spell Checking
 Hiring a professional editor
 Solitary
 A process with a single
  correct solution or end point
http://devilduck.tumblr.com/post/3834151230
WHAT REVISION IS

Brainstorming
 Free-Writing
 (and maybe
starting over)
Princess Marty
   Frog-Slime
     and the
Nutcracker Ballet
Confessions of a
 Sea Monster
“Well…This is
   funny. But it
sounds more like
  a New Yorker
 cartoon than a
 book for kids.”
Reconsidering
a character’s
 motivation
What if
   things
turned out
differently?
Two
Books in
 One?
Who’s
that guy
  girl?
The Gift
  of a
Crashed
 Hard
Drive…
Considering
 different
  formats
Draft 1

Draft 2 Draft 3 Draft 4
Time
           to
         Write!
Sometimes poem…
Time to
        Write! *

Sometimes…
CHARACTERS/STUF          SETTINGS         THEMES/MOODS
 F I LIKE OR FIND
  FASCINATING
HURRICANES          RAINFOREST           MYSTERY



PYTHONS             EARLY 20TH CENTURY   SECRETS
                    NYC


TIME TRAVEL         LAKE CHAMPLAIN       SCIENCE VS. ART
Assignment:
Mess around with your columns & come
up with a story idea.

Write the first page.

Write it fast.   (15 minutes)

It’s okay if it’s crummy.

We’ll make it awesome later.
Time
  to
Write!
WHAT REVISION IS


 Finding & Strengthening
 the Heart of a project
This book is about
______________________________
______________________________
_____________________________.
 (But underneath that, it’s really
about
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________.
My book is about a figure
skater from a small-town
maple farm who earns a
scholarship to train with the
elite in Lake Placid & discovers
a world of mean girls on ice.


But underneath that, it’s really
about making a decision to
follow your own dreams
instead of the dreams that are
chosen for you.
My book is about a future
world where killer tornadoes
are widespread and four kids
at a science camp who are
trying to stop them but
discover a terrifying secret.


But underneath that, it’s really
about using your powers for
good.
This book is about
______________________________
______________________________
_____________________________.
 (But underneath that, it’s really
about
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________.
WHAT REVISION IS


65 Off-Draft Writing
Prompts to Jump-
   Start Revision
Write a
metaphor-
poem
describing
one of your
characters,
in another
character’s
voice.
Thanks, Kelly Fineman!
Write a metaphor-
poem
describing one of
your
characters, in
another
character’s voice.
                 Thanks, Kelly Fineman!
WHAT REVISION IS



Raising the Stakes
MENTOR TEXTS
How could
my main
character
   make
  his/her
 situation
  worse?
What actions
might your main
character take to
  make his/her
 situation worse
before he or she
 makes it better?
WHAT REVISION IS


Charts, maps, timelines, &
outlines
More Ideas…

 • Map the setting – note important
                 events
  • Chapter by chapter timelines
• Plot charts with rising/falling action
 • Outline (after writing) to identify
            weak chapters
Big-Picture Story Chart -
     What characters,
 settings, objects, jokes,
themes, and threads are
     important in your
    project? Are they
    woven consistently
   throughout the text?
Time to
        Revise!

Sometimes poem…
  Add SMELLS
WHAT REVISION IS


Returning to Research
WHAT REVISION IS

Details and Word Choice
      Be specific.
     Be surprising.
Look for delicious details
Look for delicious details
Google Maps – Street View
Role Play!
Replace Tired Body
    Language
** Role Play!
Replace Tired Body Language

         ANGRY
       FRUSTRATED
        ANXIOUS
         SCARED
     JOYFUL-EXCITED
       DEPRESSED
WHAT REVISION IS


Being a Word Ninja
Readers are Smart


 Don’t keep repeating
your points to make sure
      they “get it.”
very
 really
   just
  that
 “what
looked
  like”
JUST       IN THAT
AND          MOMENT
RATHER     SO
BEGAN TO   A BIT
AS         I GUESS
THOUGH     MAYBE
THEN       THAT
BUT        VERY
ALWAYS     REALLY
Watch for “pet” stories,
ideas, themes, phrases…
Brainstorm: What
words, phrases, &
pet stories are on
 your personal
“MOST WANTED”
       list?
Time to
      Revise! ***
Sometimes poem…
 Cut at least 30 words
WHAT REVISION IS
      Being Social


 -Critique Groups/Partners
-Crowd-Sourcing Solutions
Hey….What would you
 call that little container
where you keep contact
 lenses when you’re not
  wearing them? A tub?
Post-It Note Critiques




ORANGE = “I LOVE THIS!”
 GREEN = “I’M BORED.”
YELLOW=“I’M CONFUSED”
Time to
          Revise!
Sometimes poem…
  Rewrite in different
season/circumstances
WHAT REVISION IS


Technology Tools
  of the Trade
Scrivener
http://www.literatureandlatte.com/scrivener.php
WHAT REVISION IS


Finding the Right Title
WHAT REVISION IS
 Finding the Right Title

      TEN Titles
Highlight great phrases
    Crowd-source
 Cut-it-Up & Mix-it-Up
WHAT REVISION IS


   Making Lists…
…and getting to work!
Five Reasons Kids
Don’t Want to Revise
(and what teachers
  can do about it)

          Kate Messner
   http://www.katemessner.com
REASON #1

“But I just FINISHED.
And I like my paper
   the way it is.”
SOLUTION:

 Start the revision
conversation early.
After We Write…

 REVISION – PART I

 REVISION – PART 2

 REVISION – PART 3
REASON #2

“I already ran a spell
  check. I’m good.”
SOLUTION:

 Teach students the
difference between
revising and editing.
REASON #3

“I don’t know where
      to start.”
SOLUTION:

 Have a revision
checklist ready…
Student Critique Partners
• Trade papers with a partner
•Use highlighters to indicate the
following:
  •Pink = Consider cutting this part.
  •Green = I’m confused now.
  •Orange = Use more vivid
  details/precise language.
  •Yellow = This part works really well!
•In the margin next to each color (or
on a Post-It note), write a note
explaining your highlighting and
REASON #4

  “I did revise. Just
now. It’s not my fault
 I’m a fast reviser.”
SOLUTION:

    Teach multiple
strategies for revision.
A Shrunken Manuscript
Strategy Courtesy of Darcy
         Pattison
    http://www.darcypattison.com

                             PINK = plot points
                             GREEN = crush
                             BLUE = Ruby
                             ORANGE = funny bits
                                         with Ian
                             YELLOW = place for
                                       the tree game
REASON #5

“Everybody says I’m
a great writer. Great
writers don’t need to
       revise.”
SOLUTION:

   Use published
   authors as role
models, through text
examples and Skype
       visits.
GUESS HOW MANY DRAFTS?



    14!
How will you
 spend your
   precious
 writing time
with students?
“Revolution for
  the Tested”
Walking the
                  Walk: Real
                Revision in the
                 Classroom

                  Kate Messner
                     WSRA

http://www.katemessner.com
www.katemessner.com/WSRA

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Wsra revision

Notas do Editor

  1. Why I love revision – feeling like a competent writer.Drafting: vision in my head comes up against the reality of the writer I am today.“The book in my mind” poemRevision is what allows us to bring the book on the page closer to that dream-book
  2. 2008 I sent agent a manuscript - Her thoughts: love character, funny, but….seasonal?Eesh.“Does it really have to be about the Nutcracker? Could it be about a school play or something?”
  3. 2008 I sent agent a manuscript - Her thoughts: love character, funny, but….seasonal?Eesh.“Does it really have to be about the Nutcracker? Could it be about a school play or something?”
  4. REVISION IS ABOUT SEEING IDEAS IN A DIFFERENT WAY
  5. Start with the starting over part – so that by the end of this two hour workshop you’ll like me again.
  6. 2008 I sent agent a manuscript - Her thoughts: love character, funny, but….seasonal?Eesh.“Does it really have to be about the Nutcracker? Could it be about a school play or something?”
  7. So this sea monster walks into his therapist’s office….
  8. EM Kokie - I have 40k words of cut scenes - mostly school scenes - from the first few drafts of Personal Effects because for the first several drafts, I had my main character's motivations all wrong. I was forcing the story because I wanted it to be something it wasn't. It's only when I really started listening to the character and realized what he wanted, and stopped judging him for it, that the book really started to work.
  9. Jo - In the early versions of Lessons From A Dead Girl, Leah doesn't die! The book leads up to Lainegettnig the courage to face her in the hospital. Obviously, it had a different title then. :-)
  10. Jody Feldman wrote a book called “The Eleventh Level” personal mystery + story about secret society – agent asked her to strengthen the secret society part, but then the book was 80K – too long for this particular MG. Split it off – secret society book is this one – other book might be for another day.
  11. Sarah Aronson changed a major character from a guy to a girl and rewrote – found that the story worked much better and allowed her to develop a main theme of the book.
  12. Nova Ren Suma - IG began as a short story, for adults, about two sisters—no fantastical elements or magical realism at all. But after a summer writing workshop, I decided it wasn't enough as is and I wanted to do more with it and turn it YA. I also wrote about 200 pages of a whole other version of the novel for NaNoWriMo one year... Still no magical realism. I thought that draft was horrible and was blocked for months afterward and then serendipitously (or cruelly) my laptop's hard-drive died and I had no backups, and it was unrecoverable. So I lost those 200 pages. Then I started from scratch again, because I had to, combining the sisters from the story and the ideas from the lost novel even though I didn't have the pages in front of me, and that's what became IMAGINARY GIRLS at last and when the fantastical started showing up. (I also back up my hard-drive obsessively now... lesson learned.)
  13. Both this and courage has no color –started as picture books and grew into MG. And I think this is a great idea – that our books can grow into any number of things…
  14. When you see this symbol…. Fire up your laptop or get your notebook ready.
  15. When you see this symbol…. Fire up your laptop or get your notebook ready.
  16. When you see this symbol…. Fire up your laptop or get your notebook ready.
  17. Linda calls this “the spine” - What is at the center of your work? Why does it even exist? Why does this story need to be told? Universal human truth – even in funny books.
  18. Writing workshop at NESCBW a couple years ago - It was a poetry workshop with Kelly Fineman – but I used it to develop this MC’s father in EOTS. I can’t remember the original assignment – but this is what grew out of it and it was important for me and for Jaden’s dad. (By the way – you should feel free to do this, too – if you come up with something better during writing prompt, do your better thing and you can credit me when you give your workshop later on)
  19. Idea from teaching – BLOG – teach mentor texts - but one authors can use, too.
  20. Three false starts – back to brainstorming/outlining every time.
  21. Mystery organizer – crime in the middle – then elements – suspects, motives, clues, false clues, etc. You can make your own – just list important elements of your particular genre.
  22. Class schedules – when would Claire & Natalie be together? How would they grow apart? Develop friendship troubles issue.
  23. When you see this symbol…. Fire up your laptop or get your notebook ready.
  24. General words & phrases are your enemy. Green shirt – there are a million kinds of green – new grass green, alligator pond green, pine woods green – and you’ll notice that my metaphors all come from nature because that’s the world I love best – a kid might describe his shirt as “cafeteria peas green” or “my mother’s emerald earrings green”Be surprising – the best descriptions describe us because we’ve never thought of it that way before – even though that’s the perfect word or phrase.
  25. Ponytail – What would that stick look like to the girl on the right? Coming at her face like that? And then you can do sounds, smells…etc.
  26. Smirk on her face – character inspiration for Sarah in WAKE UP MISSING.
  27. Also went on twitter – other than blushing, what do you do when you’re embarrassed?
  28. When you see this symbol…. Fire up your laptop or get your notebook ready.
  29. When you see this symbol…. Fire up your laptop or get your notebook ready.
  30. Inspiration boards – don’t worry about people “stealing” your ideas. Really.
  31. SUGAR AND ICE – Claire & the maple farm - Green – scenes on farm, salmon – lake placid – purple-competition – red – sabotage -
  32. Titles change – a lot. Be ready for this and be at peace with it. Marketing dept. etc. Let them do their job. BRILLIANT FALL OF GIANNA Z. – SWINGER OF BIRCHES – MAPLE GIRL, “THAT STUPID LEAF COLLECTION BOOK”
  33. Known issues while working – starting place List after 1st read-through after completion
  34. Why I love revision – feeling like a competent writer.Drafting: vision in my head comes up against the reality of the writer I am today.“The book in my mind” poemRevision is what allows us to bring the book on the page closer to that dream-book