Conversations at The Royal: Love Sense

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The document discusses the revolutionary new science of romantic relationships according to Dr. Sue Johnson. It states that love is an ancient wired-in survival code designed to keep key loved ones close, and that intimates are our ultimate resource for safe haven, protection, support, secure base and exploration. It discusses three bonding strategies - reach, push/demand, and turn away/turn off. It also notes that 90% of recurring distress and conflict in romantic relationships is due to protest at emotional disconnection and lists five "laws of love" including that our deepest survival instinct is to emotionally connect with special ones. It describes sex as a bonding behavior that is shaped by bonding strategies like solace, sealed off, and synchrony sex.

Saúde e medicina Educação

Love Sense:
The Revolutionary New Science of
Romantic Relationships
DR. SUE JOHNSON

WWW.DRSUEJOHNSON.COM

Love is …
AN ANCIENT WIRED-IN SURVIVAL CODE –
DESIGNED TO KEEP KEY LOVED ONES
CLOSE.
WE ARE HOMO VINCULUM – THE ONE WHO
BONDS.

Intimates are our Ultimate
Resource:

GO TO: SAFE HAVEN
PROTECTION & SUPPORT

GO OUT FROM: SECURE BASE
EXPLORATION & EFFICACY

3 Bonding Strategies:

REACH
PUSH / DEMAND
TURN AWAY / TURN OFF

Recurring Distress/Conflict

CONFLICT IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS IS
90% PROTEST AT EMOTIONAL
DISCONNECTION.

Laws of Love:
1. OUR DEEPEST SURVIVAL INSTINCT / TO EMOTIONALLY CONNECT WITH
SPECIAL ONES.
- OTHERS ARE OUR PRIMARY BASELINE RESOURCE 2. REACHING IS OUR BEST AND PRIMARY STRATEGY. FUNCTIONAL.
3. ‘TRUE’ LOVE IS OPEN, RESPONSIVE. ARE YOU THERE FOR ME?
BEING EMOTIONALLY ENGAGED, ATTUNED, SYNCHRONIZED
4. SEPARATION – ISOLATION TRAUMATIZES.
5. THREE MAIN MOVES IN THE DANCE OF LOVE: REACH/PULL/DISMISS

Sex is a bonding behaviour

BONDING STRATEGIES SHAPE SEX:
SOLACE / SEALED OFF / SYNCHRONY SEX

BEST RECIPE FOR GREAT SEX IS:
SAFE CONNECTION
NOT CONSTANT NOVELTY

Changing Responsiveness to Threat
with EFT

www.drsuejohnson.com

LOVE IS NO STRANGE RANDOM RUSH OF SENTIMENT

IT MAKES SENSE
NOW WE CAN REALLY MAKE IT AND MAKE IT LAST

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Conversations at The Royal: Love Sense

1. Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships DR. SUE JOHNSON WWW.DRSUEJOHNSON.COM

2. Love is … AN ANCIENT WIRED-IN SURVIVAL CODE – DESIGNED TO KEEP KEY LOVED ONES CLOSE. WE ARE HOMO VINCULUM – THE ONE WHO BONDS.

3. Intimates are our Ultimate Resource: GO TO: SAFE HAVEN PROTECTION & SUPPORT GO OUT FROM: SECURE BASE EXPLORATION & EFFICACY

4. 3 Bonding Strategies: REACH PUSH / DEMAND TURN AWAY / TURN OFF

5. Recurring Distress/Conflict CONFLICT IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS IS 90% PROTEST AT EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION.

6. Laws of Love: 1. OUR DEEPEST SURVIVAL INSTINCT / TO EMOTIONALLY CONNECT WITH SPECIAL ONES. - OTHERS ARE OUR PRIMARY BASELINE RESOURCE 2. REACHING IS OUR BEST AND PRIMARY STRATEGY. FUNCTIONAL. 3. ‘TRUE’ LOVE IS OPEN, RESPONSIVE. ARE YOU THERE FOR ME? BEING EMOTIONALLY ENGAGED, ATTUNED, SYNCHRONIZED 4. SEPARATION – ISOLATION TRAUMATIZES. 5. THREE MAIN MOVES IN THE DANCE OF LOVE: REACH/PULL/DISMISS

7. Sex is a bonding behaviour BONDING STRATEGIES SHAPE SEX: SOLACE / SEALED OFF / SYNCHRONY SEX BEST RECIPE FOR GREAT SEX IS: SAFE CONNECTION NOT CONSTANT NOVELTY

8. Changing Responsiveness to Threat with EFT www.drsuejohnson.com

9. www.drsuejohnson.com

10. LOVE IS NO STRANGE RANDOM RUSH OF SENTIMENT IT MAKES SENSE NOW WE CAN REALLY MAKE IT AND MAKE IT LAST

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