Reading the children's book Anh's Anger by Gail Silver with my three year old son taught me many lessons about anger in children. It is an insightful book about emotional awareness and love.
Here are some of the insights that I gleaned from reading this book:
1. Children are still learning self control and this process inevitably means mistakes will happen. Strong emotional outbursts are normal and can be viewed as learning opportunities for children to practice emotional awareness.
2. Staying calm through your child's emotional outburst prevents adding fuel to the fire. It also models staying calm when things get hectic, which is the exact skill we hope to help our children develop.
3. Allow your child to fully feel their emotions and work through them. Many children do really well with some alone time to work through emotions (this is not a time out, keep it positive). Be aware if your child needs some support through this process.
4. Emotional intelligence involves being aware of and understanding our anger, not repressing it. The first step of this process is to fully feel and accept anger. Only then can we begin to learn how to control our reaction to anger.
5. Respect the process that your child is going through. Learning to deal with strong emotions is tough and takes time. Eventually they will learn to express their emotions instead of acting out from them.
6. Allow your child the opportunity to make things right. Once their strong emotions have passed they will have a clearer perspective of their role in the prior events. Be kind and loving.
Bottom line: Kids will be kids. Let's love and support them and watch them blossom into beautiful adults in a natural way :)
2. 1. It's Normal
Strong emotional
outbursts in children are
normal. Our kids aren't
"messed up" and we
didn't screw them up.
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3. 2. Be Calm
Stay calm to encourage
calm.
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4. 3. Let Them Be
Giving children alone time
can allow them to explore
their feelings. They are
more capable than we
realize.
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5. 4. Emotion Educates
Feelings are never wrong,
even “negative” emotions
can be our friends. They
help us learn about
ourselves.
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6. 5. It Takes Time
Expressing feelings
effectively is a skill that
reduces emotional
outburst. It takes time to
learn these skills.
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7. 6. Welcome Hugs
Be open to a child's
attempt at reconciliation
after “bad” behaviours.
Accept apologies and
hugs with open arms and
heart.
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8. C H E C K O U T
M Y R E V I E W O F
Anh's Anger
THEOSBOOKSHELF.COM
A valuable book to help parents
understand the expected anger in
their children
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