This document summarizes the realities of violence faced disproportionately by women globally and historically at the hands of men. It connects this reality to claims by some young men that they "fear" women becoming too "obsessed" with offenses against them. The document argues that such claims fail to acknowledge the immense dangers still faced by women on a regular basis from male violence. It suggests young men develop greater empathy and understanding of the experiences that shape women's heightened sensitivity to violations of their safety and dignity.
1. AUTOPSY OF OBSESSION
Dear Men, Who Say, ‘We Fear Women’, Do Kindly Listen…!
Hard, very hard it is for most to believe that writing is not always a joy as every word is
always a probable culprit of offence. But then, even when it is self-deprecating and painful,
words flow out, as probably they must, not for establishing anything, but simply for
fulfilling the duty of being a humble carrier of intent. When we are about to talk now as
how it is so painful and sad when some young men talk here about how they ‘fear’ being a
male, in a world where they say, women are becoming ‘obsessed’ about offence against
them and the system they insist, is more ‘biased’ in their favor; it is a tough task as there is
always the situation that –
2. 1. As acceptance of ‘realism’ is always cognitive, perceptional and subjective to
individuals, nobody can make anyone understand anything, however, they may
understand anything…
2. There is already so much anger and disgust over growing conflicts and chaos in life
and living that it is always very tough for anyone, especially young ones to see
through the mist of ‘perceptional worldview’, a reality, which is for everyone to see
and accept…
Despite that, there is this humble wish that when we make a case for a ‘reality’, young
minds, especially those dear ‘males’, who feel ‘fear’ and ‘threatened’ by the so-called
modern obsessive female, shall be able to see through it. This wish is hugely backed by this
humble acceptance that our young men and women may err, as anyone can, but they are
the most reasonable people on Earth as modern liberal education has made them
understand the value and worth of ‘Reason and Logic’…
Globally, there is one sad and unfortunate development, which we all must remain warned
of. The contemporary media, of all shades, especially the social media, which shapes and
designs perceptions about a reality in our milieus, are predominantly metro-centric or at
best urban liberal modern centric. Therefore, what usually most young men and women
see and accept is a small window of a reality, dished out to them by a very small section of
media, which they know of and indulge with. Also, contemporary media is bereft of the
crucial sense of historicity. Therefore, when some young men talk about how they fear
‘obsessive’ female outrage about offence against them, they sadly see only a miniscule part
of a reality, that too sans the long history that creates and perpetuates a reality. The reality
is –
1. Every passing hour, when you are browsing or busy with your smart phone,
hundreds of girls and women either get raped, molested, killed by intimate partners,
abused, attacked, verbally and otherwise teased and threatened. Unfortunate it is
that even in a country like USA, which boasts of its brilliant security system, around
20 percent of American women would be raped at least once in their lifetime. The
same figure for men is 3 percent. Just look at the global data of violence and crimes
3. against women and compare it with what men undergo in even the worst
administered nations and anyone can see, how men are still thousand times safer
and less violated compared to women…
2. In India, still there are over 75 percent areas, where women dare not venture out
alone. And, here when a crime against women is taken to police station, the cops tell
them to remain inside their homes to stay away from possible trouble. The culprits
are mostly known and locals but still, the cops have no inclination to go after them.
Just ask yourself, be true to yourself and tell, are you not apprehensive when any
female member of your family or acquaintance ventures out alone, even in normal
hours of day and that too in four metros of India…
3. There are nations in this world, where even the governments and politicians
indirectly promote sex-tourism, where majority of women and girls are either
trafficked or are forced. Even in a country like USA, the Senate had to accept hat
trafficking was the prime source of porn as well as prostitution in America and they
therefore okayed a bill to curb women and girl trafficking. Any male can check the
global data about trafficking, even in porn industry, which most men think girls
come on their own sweet will to make easy money. Countries like Thailand,
Philippines, Columbia, Brazil, etc are huge markets of trafficked women and forced
sex tourism…
4. There are countries in this very world, where some men are now beginning to ‘fear’
women, where girls of 10-14 age groups are being educated and advised by their
mothers and relatives about the possibility of they being kidnapped and lured into
forced sex industry as globally, the demand for ‘virgin’ sex has soared high. In
Columbia, in many other Latin American and African nations, school girls and even
girls below ten years of age are being targeted by organized gangs, to push them
into ‘Virgin Sex Trade’. They are also into drugs, extortions and etc but find this sex
trade easy and more lucrative and therefore, in half of this world, girls and women
are living their lives in utmost scare and pain…
5. There is enough data to support the fact and also empirically, we all know how huge
majority of girls and women are subjected to molestation and sexual violence by
family members as close as father, grandfather, uncles and cousins. We also know
4. how there is not a single girl on Earth who has not been teased and verbally violated
on streets, be it a village or a metro town. Compare these facts to the same with
males and anyone can find, why and how girls and women are thousand times more
violated and abused than any male…
6. Globally, it is accepted that violence and inappropriate behavior towards women are
on rise as first, more women are becoming empowered enough to report about
them and secondly, men are finding women as competitors in the domains, where
they ruled exclusively only few decades back. In India, crime against women rose by
34 percent from 2011 to 2015. This is global trend, be it USA or Uganda…
7. Importantly, there is still no global data about it but enough independent researches
and studies which suggest that men are gradually losing empathy for women,
especially in the modern age of social media and internet. There are studies going
on, which are attempting to look into the role of pornography heavily consumed by
men and other forms of cyber sexuality on attitudinal landscape of men. It is feared,
these are strong reasons for men fast losing empathy for young women and this is
being expressed probably in many uncharitable ways…
There are endless such factsheets that we can produce here but the question is, why we are
saying all these? Where is his connection between crimes against women and so-called
‘obsessive’ behavior of women over their safety and security?
Well, this is what we are doing here. We are connecting…! Are we…?
A typical male, well endowed and very proud of his manliness and prowess drives a
premium car and when he honks, an unfortunate guy on the road does not give him pass, as
quickly as he expected. This typically powerful male confronts him and shoots him on the
spot. Why? It is a matter of pride and manliness…! How can anyone ‘violate’ the pride and
individuality of a male…!
Now, a young woman, who has been fed since her childhood about the stories as how she
needs to protect herself and her fragile dignity from not only males outside but also from
her own family, who has herself experienced such unfortunate mishaps in her life already,
has already been through this hell many times on the streets and is well aware of how
5. globally, women are being subjected to heinous crimes, receives a ‘touch’ from a male and
in a precarious circumstance. Well, this woman, or possibly a young girl, is expected to
show all possible intellect, caution, propriety, decency, sanity, poise of judgment,
compassion, affection, etc etc, to decide on the spot, whether this ‘touch’ was ‘appropriate’
to be classified as ‘violation’ or not…! Wah… Kamal Hai… Gazab…!!
The fact remains, the same women or the young girl has hundreds of times been typically
indecisive as what to do. Her natural disposition already inclines her to run away from the
trouble. She is already so scared and indecisive that it takes tons of courage to even register
to herself that a ‘touch’ was violative. Still, she is always expected to come with all possible
virtues, when it comes to deciding about the so delicate and emotionally hellish issue of
violation…
So famously, there are so many males, who stand by and even fight for others, who are
judged adversely by saying that anyone, who is young, not even 25, should not be judged
harshly as young men and women are so impressionable and they have the right to err in
their life-living judgments. Unfortunately, when a 17 year old young girl, who has acted in a
famous film, reported about a ‘touch’, which she considered as ‘inappropriate’, many young
men commented in marvelously designed words as how she erred and how such
misjudgments in the part of ‘obsessive’ females are making males fear being in the world
they live. An answer of such intent here received thousands of views and upvotes. This
means, people at large backed such sentiments…? Why?
Because, probably, many young males have begun to believe that a 17 year old girl should
always show up with all possible intellect, caution, propriety, decency, sanity, poise of
judgment, compassion, affection, etc etc, to decide on the spot, whether this ‘touch’ was
‘appropriate’ to be classified as ‘violation’ or not…! Probably, they have started to accept
that women in all shades should always be 100% right in all their judgments, even when
males can do without it and still rest in laurels…
So, is it that if a man beats up and kills someone, who sort of ‘violated’ his ‘wish’; a man who
shamelessly and mercilessly molests or misbehaves with a young girl or woman, should
always be labeled as ‘Mardangi’ (manliness) and even if it is considered as something
6. ‘wrong’, he should always be warmly extended the benefit of doubt as young men have the
right to err, as nobody as young as 20-something should be pressurized to always be
appropriate. But, when it comes to young women and girls… hmmm… Wah, Wah…Adbhut…
Kamal… Ghazab…!
… and, look at the golden hypocrisy – a young girl in some small town of India, talks with a
young boy and develops soft feelings for him. Days after, the brothers and other male
relatives of the girl kill not only the young boy but also the girl, why? Simple…! Male have
pride and honor and that is why they call it ‘Honor Killing’…!
… and, a young girl, living in a hell, where her ‘impressionable’ young mind has been
laterally and vertically cultured to accept that men are out there to harm her, and she has
already heard of all sorts of such incidents of men harming women and most certainly the
girl has already undergone this terrifying experience of having been violated, verbally,
mentally and even physically, is expected by males to always show needle-sharp precision
in deciphering to the dot, whether a ‘touch’, a ‘behavior’ or an ‘action’ was definitively
aimed at violating her or not… Why? Simple…! A woman should always accept that males
have pride and honor and she must always extend benefit of doubt to the gentlemen
around her…! Wah, Wah…Adbhut… Kamal… Ghazab…!
On a more sedate and responsible note, there is this need for very deep-seated acceptance
by we all that since inception of human civilization, men have failed big time in ensuring
equality, respectability and empowerment to their females. World history is so full of
pathetic and gory details of how ‘Obsessive’ men have wreaked untold and unimaginably
horrendous pain and crimes on women and they still continue to do it in at least more than
half of the contemporary world. Unfortunately, young males, even females have not been
aware of their own history. As they are not aware, males do not own the responsibility of
the crimes males have committed on women since thousands of years. Naturally, they are
not inclined to link their current thinking to historicity of a reality…
Most human institutions, till date have not yet become gender sensitive and they still
remain antagonistic to females. The world has been and still remains a hell for most
women, young or not. And, global data and researches confirm beyond any reasonable
7. doubt that most crimes, pains and troubles on females are committed not by strangers but
by the males they know and are living with…
If in such cosmos of hell, a handful of women lose their senses, poise or judgments, as
anyone can and as global data shows, it is only still less than one percent, it is and can be
anything but a panic situation, which makes many males cry on roof tops that they now
‘fear’ women…! It is truly sad and unfortunate that some males opt to say they fear modern
women’s obsession about violations. Males are thousand times safer, secure, pampered and
socially-culturally favored than women, who still face a world, where her life and dignity is
constantly under threat from all possible corners. In such a situation, it sounds very
inappropriate for males to mouth such words, which in itself is violative…
It was a man, a man of high moral standards, who wrote for a female character saying this
in a film –
“Hum Hain, Mata-e-Koocha-O-Bazaar Ki Tarah,
Uth-ti Hai Har Nigah Khareedar Ki Tarah…”
(I am like a property in streets and markets, where every eye sees and wants me like a
buyer…)
The reality remains, thousands of years have passed in human evolution towards
civilization and culture of modernity but, this typical male psyche about ‘women’ and
females have not yet evolved to a stage, where they could stop seeing and accepting women
as ‘Product’. This archetypal male sub-consciousness of objectification of people, especially
women, has not yet become instinct. It should, faster the better…
Stop seeing and accepting females as ‘object’ and ‘product’… look at the little daughter
playing in your lap… how one feels, when we see this small angel in our homes…? Just feel
this same compassionate and protectively affectionate emotion and intelligence for all
women, young or not… If we do, we all, especially males, shall be able to feel ourselves, how
a young girl or a woman feels, when she is violated and has this hugely unsettling sense of
being violated – rightly or wrongly. If this happens, our dear women shall feel truly
8. empowered and gradually, in a few decades, this subconscious fear, which has the innate
tendency to turn ‘obsessive’, shall wither away and shall become extinct. This is something
women cannot do as it is not their task. It is the duty and task of the males, especially those
young males, who say, they ‘fear’ women…
# My sincere apologies to all those, who might have felt odd or offended. The humble and
sincere attempt was just to put a picture in perspective; never to hurt anyone. Big sorry, if
anyone feels offended. I believe in holistic writing, never the reactionary writing, which this
post qualifies as. I had to… Sorry…