2. Yes, yes, academic achievement is great and all, but we need some money! Greek House!
I forgot that Trixi was also a Fortune Sim, so she pitches in with online financial consulting, which I don’t have any pictures
of because as soon as the phrase online financial consulting enters my mind, I get so bored I fall asleep on my
keyb:otcxbb de =:xwx; ;jm:

3. That’s more like it!
Alexander can easily pick up 800 a night from playing the guitar. The house I’ve got my eye on costs 12000, so it’s still a
long way to go…

4. There he is again!
Alexander has James on his mind. And once again, he leaves before I have a chance to force my heir on him. Curses.

5. I never knew finding planets and constellations was worth money, but there we are. I just wish I could name the planets I
found.
Trixibelle Persei 8, bitches!

6. Bonus: Science enthusiasm.
…
Boring. Let’s see what Alexander is up to.

7. Trolling for blue peen in the local park, obviously.
Yes, of course I know I could just call up the campus directory no w. You should have told me that earlier.

8. It occurs to me that the Legacy Challenge, the most popular challenge in this community, is the one least fit for its
intended audience.

9. No, really, think about it. A legacy challenge is about reproduction, an act so shameful that a fucking life simulator has to
refer to it as “Woohoo” to keep the rating down. And there we are, sitting at our comp uters like digital pimps, whoring out
little pixel people for the sole act of reproduction.

10. It’s a good thing I’m a sick puppy.
I may have actually worried about being a digital pixel pimp if I weren’t.

11. Oh, I’m sorry, you want me to talk about the stuff in the pictures? You want the monkey to dance properly?
I can’t help it. College is so boring. Let’s see what else is on.

12. …
Alright…

13. What the…

14. Why?

15. What?
WHAT?!?!?!

16. No!
I’m so… Just…
WHAT?!?!

17. You know what, fine!
I’m fine with the pimping! Slurp it down, heir man!

18. Yeah, that’s better.
Let’s get down to the loving.

19. I think we’re back on track here.
James, as it turns out, swings both ways. Greedy poof.

20. AND!
I am very happy to announce that through the combined efforts of Alexander’s musical skill and Trixibelle’s stargazing and
online financial conskxe vrc x;;,,;brguihg:uf v

21. Damn. Every single time.
Anyway, Greek House!

22. Obviously we’re moving in James. Because really, what’s the first thing you do when you’re miles away from home, living
on your own for the first time, with your boyfriend…

23. Exactly.

25. Okay, not helping much.
Just get on with it. S/he’ll leave eventually.

26. Yeah, I’ll think he’ll be accepted.

27. Also, meet Placehol…
I mean Elizabeth! She’s not important. I’ll probably have her live in the shed.

28. Oh, wait, I know!
Zombie slave pledge!

29. Oh yeah, this Greek House deal is sweet.

30. Alright, maybe I’ve downplayed the bad sides of having a live-in zombie. These guys are grumpy!

31. And there’s no stopping these clowns.

32. Oh good, they’ve canceled each other out.
Hey, I’ve just realized. Greek House, four members in the house, all quite creative…

33. WE HAZ BAND!
Presenting:

38. Awesome.
Fuck this pretati predisti presta magic nonsense, Alexander is born to be a rock star baby!

39. Not Trixibelle though. Fame and fortune mean nothing to her. She still wants nothing more than to see a ghost. Every
single day it’s “can I see I ghost yet? Can I please? Please? A ghost? Why can’t I see a ghost? Why must you torture me
with this ghostless existence!” You would not believe the hours I spent driving her to and from the cemetery, it’s ridiculous.

40. “Oh, is that a ghost? That’s sort of boring. Hi ghost. You bore me now.”
…
Hate.

41. Jesus Christ, it’s like the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland in there and she still hasn’t actually seen one! What the fuck!
What does it take to make this demon child happy!

42. Oh, there we are.
Heh. Serves you right, you whiny bitch.

43. Whelp, there we are. Proof of the supernatural and life after death in one fell swoop, and with it the potential to devastate
all major religions and revolutionize the whole concept of physics.
…
“Gosh, I wonder what Alexander is doing right now.”
Give him a ring, why don’t you, you disgrace to the scientific community.

44. What’s this? Elizabeth doing something besides slapping people around and performing menial labor for no pay?
Something is afoot. A foot, I tell you!

45. “Hey Elizabeth, look, there’s a monkey using a computer!”

46. ALL YOUR SKILL POINTS ARE BELONG TO US!!!
I tell you, I’d hate to live in this house, I really would.

47. Oh noez!
Karma, you ruthless bitch, get your Indian ass out of my legacy and take your irony with you!

48. What? What are you looking at? She’s fine. Can’t you see she’s fine? Let the woman have a sammich in peace, for god’s
sake.

49. What?
Um… Hi, Hayden. Honeymoon over, huh? Come to say hi to your son’s…

50. Oh.
I guess you don’t approve, huh? You disappoint me, Hayden, you really do.

51. Aw, poor James.
For the record, no, I have no idea why Hayden marched all the way from home to burst into a Greek House and scream at
his son’s boyfriend. Mod misfire? Buggy code? EA sending subtle messages protesting the discrimination of gay players
by the major soccer leagues?
Probably not.

52. I know what will cheer him up! Writing a restaurant guide!
Greek life is expensive, you know.

53. What the…
Then why did you publish it, you fools!
Alright, insult my writing ability, will you? Not cut out for the oh so flashy and hip restaurant guide scene, am I?
Fine. I’ll write a new book.

54. Once upon a time there was an eeevil restaurant guide publisher who got mauled by hentai tentacle aliens and was
rushed to the hospital but they didn’t know what was wrong with him so he died. The end.
I’m calling this one The Evil Restaurant Guide That Published Fraudulent Information And Anyway I Wouldn’t Buy Their
Stupid Books Because Of The Rats-
What do you mean, 30 character limit?

55. Trixi wants to see a ghost again!
Clearly driving her out to a cemetery every night will be no help if she’s just going to cycle through that want all her life. No,
I’ve got a better idea. Here, I’ll even write you a ghost-spotting tutorial!

56. 1) Convince your twin brother to let you into the secret society. Alternatively, hire a limo.

57. 2) Locate Laganaphyllis Simnovorii

58. 3) Yoink

59. 4) Kick zombie out of bedroom. Move in Laganaphyllis Simnovorii.

60. 5) Identify future ghost

61. 6) ????

62. 7) Profit!
And there you go! Your very own hassle-free ghost spotting device! You’re welcome.

63. Oh, don’t look so glum.
Originally it was going to be you. Chew on that for a while. (Pun definitely intended)

64. Damn bitch, you’ve got some balls. Did you not see what happened to the other pom-pom waving idiot trying to spread
school cheer like it was one of her STDs?
Fear the Trixi.

65. Yes, yes, you shall all perish.

66. Good. Fight. Fight to the death. Your useless corpses will make excellent feed for my Daisy.

67. Of course now that Trixi made a new friend, everyone wants one, because kids are like that. Alexander gets a puppy
called Baby…

68. And we’re back to the fucking birds. I’ll call this one Rowling because once you’ve got a theme going, you can’t quit
without looking like a pussy and having garbage thrown at you every time you leave the house.
She’s learned how to talk. Now if she’d only learn how to write.
Zing! I’ll be here all week.

69. I certainly won’t, seeing as how it’s barely enough to buy a new TV.
Seriously, these publishers are evil.
But hey, he’s pleased. He’s a journalism student, that should be good for some extra credit at least.

70. He’s even making friends with Trixibelle, which I don’t mind telling you is notoriously hard to do. Truly, he is fearless.
I’m impressed.

71. Wait, what’s that up there?
Tell me that’s chimney graffiti. Guys? Please?

72. GAH!
James, you whore!

73. You stupid fuck! When guys brag about doing it with twins, this is not what they mean!

74. You smug bastard.
I take comfort in the fact that this whole thing will bite him in the ass the second he tries to brag about it to his friends.

75. Hi sis! Hanging around in your lingerie with my boyfriends, I see! Whelp, I’m off to class honey. Have fun staring down my
sister’s cleavage!

76. Oh, thank god this is over.
I was thinking I would just send my heirs to college every generation, but my goodness is college boring. Good riddance.

77. Aw, will you miss him? Not for long .
I’ve decided to move James into the legacy house. He’s a whore. He’ll fit right in.
Or maybe I’d better wait until Hayden passes on to the Great Simmer in the Sky. Just a hunch.

78. You know, maybe this whole “sharing a dude” thing will work out for the best.
God knows I’d be okay with a deal like that.
Any hot twins of either gender may reply in the comment section. I’m 24, female, I have my own towels and I bathe bi-
monthly.

79. And so an era ends in the Danger Legacy, with deceit, treachery and love triangles.
This is becoming a theme, and I for one resent that.

80. Goodbye, Greek House Which I Have n’t Bothered To Name.
Truly you were the best home they ever had.

81. NEXT TIME ON FUNCTIONALLY RETARDED!
- Clementine tries some unorthodox child rearing methods!
- Flying alien attack?
- What has gotten Clementine so desperate?
- And how many more Danger puns can I pull out of my ass?
STAY TUNED!