Consultation and marriage 2010 part 2

“ Using Consultation to Find Happier and More Stable Marriages” Part II Ron Shigeta PhD Stephen Vaccaro Anna Shigeta MFT

II. Therapy and Education best practices

Martial Education is Effective ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],3000 adults Scores of different programs 30% reduction in divorce, four years out

Couples Therapy ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Therapy and Education are Arts, not solved problems ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Marriage Education is a Marketplace ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

III. A Bahai Inspired Marriage Curriculum

Marital Models Gottman “Consultation in Marriage” ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Families are inspired to grow towards each other through Spiritual Growth, defined as the improvements uncovered while solving problems through consultation.

Spiritual Prerequisites for transformative growth ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],The prime requisites for them that take counsel together are purity of motive, radiance of spirit, detachment from all else save God, attraction to His Divine Fragrances, humility and lowliness amongst His loved ones, patience and long- suffering in difficulties and servitude to His exalted Threshold. Should they be graciously aided to acquire these attributes, victory from the unseen Kingdom of Baha shall be vouchsafed to them.

Practical Steps to Resolve Problems, with the Writings ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],“ They must, when coming together, turn their faces to the Kingdom on high and ask aid from the Realm of Glory.” “… consultation must have for its object the investigation of truth. He who expresses an opinion should not voice it as correct and right but set it forth as a contribution to the consensus of opinion” “ Speak not lest ye receive a hearing” “… they should be ever ready to overlook each other's mistakes, apologize for harsh words they have uttered, forgive and forget.” if you carry out your plan in unity, the truth will be revealed and the wrong made right. “ consultation, action, reflection.”

Typical Consultation Neutralizers ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Farzam and Melissa Friendship Inventory ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],“ Each must, however, exercise the utmost care to become thoroughly acquainted with the character of the other, that the binding covenant between them may be a tie that will endure forever.”

Farzam and Melissa Goals Discussion ,[object Object],“ Compare the nations of the world to the members of a family. A family is a nation in miniature. Simply enlarge the circle of the household and you have the nation. Enlarge the circle of nations and you have all humanity. The conditions surrounding the family surround the nation. The happenings in the family are the happenings in the life of the nation.”

Farzam and Melissa Consultation: Discussion and Plan ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],…“ counsel together in all matters, inasmuch as consultation is the lamp of guidance which leadeth the way, and is the bestower of understanding.” “ loving consultation should be the keynote of the marriage relationship.”

Farzam and Melissa Consultation: Reflection ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],“ Consultation, Action, Reflection”

Farzam and Melissa Maintaining Unity ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],“ Beware lest ye contend with any one, nay, strive to make him aware of the truth with kindly manner and most convincing exhortation. If your hearer respond, he will have responded to his own behoof, and if not, turn ye away from him, and set your faces towards God's sacred Court, the seat of resplendent holiness.”.

Farzam and Melissa Spiritual Susceptibilies ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],“ It should be borne in mind that all consultation is aimed at arriving at a solution to a problem…”

Farzam and Melissa Spiritual Growth ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],“ Bit by bit, day by day”

Resources ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Thank you for your attention. Please feel free to contact us! ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Consultation and marriage 2010 part 2

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