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Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Harness Power of Conflict to Improve
Your Organization, Your Team, and
Yourself!
Shahin Sheidaei
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Nice to meet you!
Trouble Maker & Problem Solver!
Shahin Sheidaei
Founder & Principal Coach
Elevate Change Inc.
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
A colorful Exercise
● Groups of 5 or so
○ Suggestion: in a circular
shape, so all can see and hear
each other
● Pick a color that represents
conflict
● Go around the table and talk
about why you picked the color
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
A team colorful Exercise
● Mark the colors you picked for
conflict on the “Our Team
Color”
● Go around the table and talk
about how or what this can help
you within a team?
● Can you do that at an
organization level?
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Let’s pause
Please pre-navigate to
poll.llc
and wait
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
conflict?
Please navigate to
poll.llc
and input your answer
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
DICTIONARY Defines ...
FIGHT, BATTLE, WAR
A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical
persons, ideas, or interests; a clash
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
COnflict health spectrum
A state of disharmony between persons, ideas, or interests
Destructive Constructive
InterestsPersons Ideas
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
COnflict health spectrum
Destructive Constructive
InterestsPersons Ideas
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
How do you know In which you (THEY) are?
Destructive Constructive
Persons Situations
Body
Language
← in transition →
Talking about
the situation
v.s. people
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
How do you know In which you (THEY) are?
Destructive
Constructive
Persons Situations
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
There can be more!
Destructive
Constructive
Persons Situations
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
LET’S ARGUE
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
LEt’s argue
Find another person to pair
up with
● A manager
● A worker
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Let’s pause
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
The 5ive Conflict Handling ModeASSERTIVENESS
COOPERATIVENESS
AVOIDING ACCOMMODATING
COMPETING COLLABORATING
COMPROMISING
UNCOOPERATIVE COOPERATIVE
UNASSERTIVEASSERTIVE
Thomas-Kliman
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
LET’S ARGUE again
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
PAUSE REWIND
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
LEt’s argue
Find another person to pair
up with
● A tester
● A developer
● A team lead
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Let’s pause
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
When to use? & 0ver-uses
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
COLLABORATION USES
● Find an integrative solution for both parties
● Too important to compromise
○ E.g. your values
● To test your assumptions and learn
● Understand others' views
● Merge insights from different perspectives
● To gain commitment by incorporating others’ concerns into
a consensual decision
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
COLLABORATION OVER-USE
● Do you sometimes spend time discussing issues in depth
that don’t seem to worth it?
○ Collaboration takes lots of time and energy
○ Trivial problems don’t require optimal solutions, and not all
personal differences need to be hashed out.
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
COMPETING USES
● When quick, decisive action is vital
○ E.g. in an emergency
● Unpopular courses of action need implementing
○ E.g. cost cutting, enforcing unpopular rules, discipline
● Protect yourself
○ E.g from people who take advantage of non competitive behavior
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
COMPETING OVER-USES
● Are you surrounded by “yes” people?
○ If so, perhaps it’s because they have learned that it’s unwise to
disagree with you or have given up trying to influence you.
○ This closes you off from information.
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Accommodating USES
● Realizing that you are wrong
● To allow a better solution to be considered
● To show that you are reasonable
● The issue is much more important to the other person
● You are outmatched
○ E.g. more competition would only damage your cause
● Preserving harmony and avoiding disruption are especially
important
● Allowing your team members to learn from their mistakes
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Accommodating 0VER-USES
● Do you feel that your ideas and concerns sometimes don’t
get the attention they deserve?
○ Deferring too much to the concerns of others can deprive you of
influence, respect, and recognition.
○ It can also deprive the organization of your potential contributions.
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Avoiding USES
● It is unimportant
● More important issues are present
● No chance of satisfying your concerns
● ROI costs of confronting a conflict outweigh the benefits
of its resolution
● Time to let people cool down
● Gathering more information outweighs advantages of an
immediate decision
● When others can resolve the issue more effectively
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Avoiding 0VER-USES
● Causing coordination to suffer
○ because people have trouble getting your input on issues.
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Compromising USES
● Goals are moderately important
● Equal power and both committed to mutually exclusive
goals
● Achieve a temporary settlement for a complex issue
● Arrive at an expedient solution under time pressure
● As a backup mode when collaboration or competition fails
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Compromising 0VER-USES
● Lost track of values, vision or long-term objectives?
○ Concentrating so heavily on the practicalities and tactics of
compromise that one loses sight of larger Issues.
○ Neglected issues may include principles, values, long-term
objectives, or organization welfare.
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
LET’S ARGUE again
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
LEt’s argue
Find two other person
● A tester
● A developer
● A team lead
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
Let’s pause
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
WHAT’S next FOR ME?
● SELF-AWARENESS
○ WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL GO TO
MODE? (@HOME / @WORK)
● EDUCATION
○ WHERE AND WHEN TO USE WHICH?
● REFLECTION
○ WHAT MODE I WAS IN? WHICH
SHOULD HAVE I BEEN IN?
Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc.
thanks

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Harness Power of Conflict to Improve Your Organization, Your Team, and Yourself! - Agile Games

  • 1. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Harness Power of Conflict to Improve Your Organization, Your Team, and Yourself! Shahin Sheidaei
  • 2. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Nice to meet you! Trouble Maker & Problem Solver! Shahin Sheidaei Founder & Principal Coach Elevate Change Inc.
  • 3. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. A colorful Exercise ● Groups of 5 or so ○ Suggestion: in a circular shape, so all can see and hear each other ● Pick a color that represents conflict ● Go around the table and talk about why you picked the color
  • 4. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. A team colorful Exercise ● Mark the colors you picked for conflict on the “Our Team Color” ● Go around the table and talk about how or what this can help you within a team? ● Can you do that at an organization level?
  • 5. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Let’s pause Please pre-navigate to poll.llc and wait
  • 6. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. conflict? Please navigate to poll.llc and input your answer
  • 7. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. DICTIONARY Defines ... FIGHT, BATTLE, WAR A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical persons, ideas, or interests; a clash
  • 8. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. COnflict health spectrum A state of disharmony between persons, ideas, or interests Destructive Constructive InterestsPersons Ideas
  • 9. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. COnflict health spectrum Destructive Constructive InterestsPersons Ideas
  • 10. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. How do you know In which you (THEY) are? Destructive Constructive Persons Situations Body Language ← in transition → Talking about the situation v.s. people
  • 11. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. How do you know In which you (THEY) are? Destructive Constructive Persons Situations
  • 12. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. There can be more! Destructive Constructive Persons Situations
  • 13. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. LET’S ARGUE
  • 14. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. LEt’s argue Find another person to pair up with ● A manager ● A worker
  • 15. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Let’s pause
  • 16. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. The 5ive Conflict Handling ModeASSERTIVENESS COOPERATIVENESS AVOIDING ACCOMMODATING COMPETING COLLABORATING COMPROMISING UNCOOPERATIVE COOPERATIVE UNASSERTIVEASSERTIVE Thomas-Kliman
  • 17. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. LET’S ARGUE again
  • 18. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. PAUSE REWIND
  • 19. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. LEt’s argue Find another person to pair up with ● A tester ● A developer ● A team lead
  • 20. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Let’s pause
  • 21. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. When to use? & 0ver-uses
  • 22. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. COLLABORATION USES ● Find an integrative solution for both parties ● Too important to compromise ○ E.g. your values ● To test your assumptions and learn ● Understand others' views ● Merge insights from different perspectives ● To gain commitment by incorporating others’ concerns into a consensual decision
  • 23. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. COLLABORATION OVER-USE ● Do you sometimes spend time discussing issues in depth that don’t seem to worth it? ○ Collaboration takes lots of time and energy ○ Trivial problems don’t require optimal solutions, and not all personal differences need to be hashed out.
  • 24. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. COMPETING USES ● When quick, decisive action is vital ○ E.g. in an emergency ● Unpopular courses of action need implementing ○ E.g. cost cutting, enforcing unpopular rules, discipline ● Protect yourself ○ E.g from people who take advantage of non competitive behavior
  • 25. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. COMPETING OVER-USES ● Are you surrounded by “yes” people? ○ If so, perhaps it’s because they have learned that it’s unwise to disagree with you or have given up trying to influence you. ○ This closes you off from information.
  • 26. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Accommodating USES ● Realizing that you are wrong ● To allow a better solution to be considered ● To show that you are reasonable ● The issue is much more important to the other person ● You are outmatched ○ E.g. more competition would only damage your cause ● Preserving harmony and avoiding disruption are especially important ● Allowing your team members to learn from their mistakes
  • 27. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Accommodating 0VER-USES ● Do you feel that your ideas and concerns sometimes don’t get the attention they deserve? ○ Deferring too much to the concerns of others can deprive you of influence, respect, and recognition. ○ It can also deprive the organization of your potential contributions.
  • 28. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Avoiding USES ● It is unimportant ● More important issues are present ● No chance of satisfying your concerns ● ROI costs of confronting a conflict outweigh the benefits of its resolution ● Time to let people cool down ● Gathering more information outweighs advantages of an immediate decision ● When others can resolve the issue more effectively
  • 29. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Avoiding 0VER-USES ● Causing coordination to suffer ○ because people have trouble getting your input on issues.
  • 30. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Compromising USES ● Goals are moderately important ● Equal power and both committed to mutually exclusive goals ● Achieve a temporary settlement for a complex issue ● Arrive at an expedient solution under time pressure ● As a backup mode when collaboration or competition fails
  • 31. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Compromising 0VER-USES ● Lost track of values, vision or long-term objectives? ○ Concentrating so heavily on the practicalities and tactics of compromise that one loses sight of larger Issues. ○ Neglected issues may include principles, values, long-term objectives, or organization welfare.
  • 32. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. LET’S ARGUE again
  • 33. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. LEt’s argue Find two other person ● A tester ● A developer ● A team lead
  • 34. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. Let’s pause
  • 35. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. WHAT’S next FOR ME? ● SELF-AWARENESS ○ WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL GO TO MODE? (@HOME / @WORK) ● EDUCATION ○ WHERE AND WHEN TO USE WHICH? ● REFLECTION ○ WHAT MODE I WAS IN? WHICH SHOULD HAVE I BEEN IN?
  • 36. Shahin Sheidaei | @sheidaei | sheidaei.com | © Elevate Change Inc. thanks

Notas do Editor

  1. About me About EC My accent Take risk Be open Logistics
  2. https://unsplash.com/photos/iE9k36TlRmI
  3. https://unsplash.com/photos/iE9k36TlRmI
  4. Facilitator’s note: Pick a color that represents conflict Go around the table and talk about why you picked the color Share with the wider audience what they learned Debrief: Conflict has different meaning for every person, it is different. There is no unique perception about conflict. The one thing you need to keep in mind: we even might be having conflict in defining conflict itself. What surprised you? Was the conflict in defining what conflict is? https://www.flickr.com/photos/josarzulu/9721586516
  5. Let’s see what you think about it.
  6. Person: body language Interest: like Idea: ownership
  7. More factors to it Person: body language Interest: like Idea: ownership
  8. Person: body language, not looking at each other, not providing direct feedback to each other, not touching the subject Interest: in between, sometimes feels like more personal, sometimes feel more like talking about the idea Idea: talking about the idea v.s. The person bringing the idea
  9. Person: body language Interest: like Idea: ownership
  10. Person: body language Interest: like Idea: ownership
  11. What’s up with a conflict talk with no arguments in it?
  12. Scenario: Going on vacation for the holidays Your manager is not willing to let you take it And you got into an argument/conflict
  13. Before helping others with conflict, and managing their conflict, let’s focus on ourselves! Who found themselves only listening to what they have to say? Who were the people consistent on their position?
  14. Based on Thomas-Kliman model Assertiveness: The extent to which a person tend to satisfy their own concerns / needs / asks Cooperativeness: The extent to which a person tend to satisfy others concerns / needs / asks
  15. What’s up with a conflict talk with no arguments in it?
  16. Before helping others with conflict, and managing their conflict, let’s focus on ourselves!
  17. Scenario: Tester is finding a bug in the development of a new feature, there is already code freeze and it needs vp approval to change the code. Developer is not convinced that this is his problem, and could have avoided earlier. The team seems to be immature, they might not be, it’s just an assumption, and only think of they own speciality. You want to find out which stance they are standing at, and help them with their conflict. What actions would you take? How can you move them from person to ideas?
  18. Before helping others with conflict, and managing their conflict, let’s focus on ourselves!
  19. It’s very contextual, I am not going to give you rules on best practices. I’ll give you when to use and over uses.
  20. When you need to find an integrative solution and the concerns of both parties are too important to be compromised When your objective is to learn and you wish to test your assumptions and understand others' views When you want to merge insights from people with different perspectives on a problem When you want to gain commitment by incorporating others’ concerns into a consensual decision When you need to work through hard feelings that have been interfering with a relationship
  21. Do you sometimes spend time discussing issues in depth that don’t seem to warrant it? Collaboration takes time and energy—perhaps the scarcest organizational resources. Trivial problems don’t require optimal solutions, and not all personal differences need to be hashed out. The overuse of collaboration and consensual decision making sometimes represents a desire to minimize risk—by diffusing responsibility for a decision or by postponing action.
  22. When quick, decisive action is vital—for example, in an emergency On important issues when unpopular courses of action need implementing—for example, cost cutting, enforcing unpopular rules, discipline When you need to protect yourself from people who take advantage of non competitive behavior
  23. When you realize that you are wrong—to allow a better solution to be considered, to learn from others, and to show that you are reasonable When the issue is much more important to the other person than it is to you—to satisfy the needs of others and as a goodwill gesture to help maintain a cooperative relationship When you want to build up social credits for later issues that are important to you When you are outmatched and losing and more competition would only damage your cause When preserving harmony and avoiding disruption are especially important When you want to help your employees develop by allowing them to learn from their mistakes
  24. When an issue is unimportant or when other, more important issues are pressing When you perceive no chance of satisfying your concerns for example, when you have low power or you are frustrated by something that would be very difficult to change When the potential costs of confronting a conflict outweigh the benefits of its resolution When you need to let people cool down to reduce tensions to a productive level and to regain perspective and composure Gathering more information > Advantages of an immediate decision When others can resolve the issue more effectively
  25. When goals are moderately important but not worth the effort or the potential disruption involved in using more assertive modes When two opponents with equal power are strongly committed to mutually exclusive goals—as in labor–management bargaining When you want to achieve a temporary settlement of a complex issue When you need to arrive at an expedient solution under time pressure As a backup mode when collaboration or competition fails
  26. What’s up with a conflict talk with no arguments in it?
  27. Scenario: Tester is finding a bug in the development of a new feature, there is already code freeze and it needs vp approval to change the code. Developer is not convinced that this is his problem, and could have avoided earlier. The team seems to be immature, they might not be, it’s just an assumption, and only think of they own speciality. You want to find out which stance they are standing at, and help them with their conflict. What actions would you take? How can you move them from person to ideas?
  28. Before helping others with conflict, and managing their conflict, let’s focus on ourselves!
  29. https://unsplash.com/photos/YbgPWfWlvkE https://unsplash.com/photos/4AytdURvQkg https://unsplash.com/photos/_es6l-aPDA0