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心智堅強者不做的13件事
埃米·莫林(Amy Morin) 認知行爲專家、精神治療醫師、大學心理諮詢師,
擁有執業臨床社工執照,TEDx演講者,
在全球心理診療行業具有非凡影響力。
她的文章常發表在福布斯網、《今日心理》《時代周刊》《ELLE》
《Cosmopolitan》《快公司》以及Business Insider網、
福克斯新聞等媒體上,是福布斯網站點擊量最多的作者之一。
莫林個人經歷特殊,母親去世後的第三個忌日失去了丈夫,年紀輕輕接連遭受喪母與喪夫之痛,
一度墮入絕望深淵。然而,莫林憑藉强大的內心從中爬出,克服了生活的不幸。
她不僅未被巨大的傷痛擊倒,還利用自己的知識和經驗,爲他人提供心理服務,
幫助他人養成健康的認知和行爲習慣,進而達成目標。
2013年,莫林以一篇文章《內心强大者不會做的13件事》
(13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do)
在福布斯網站上獲得了5000萬的閱讀量。
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do:
Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and
Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do:
Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face
Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness
and Success
• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks;
Reprint edition (March 7, 2017)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0062358308
• ISBN-13: 978-0062358301
• Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.6 x 8 inches
告別玻璃心的十三件事:
心智強者,不做這些事・強者養成的終極指南
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do:
Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face
Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness
and Success
• 作者: 艾美・莫林
• 原文作者: Amy Morin
• 譯者: 洪慧芳
• 出版社:網路與書出版
• 出版日期:2015/10/30
• 語言:繁體中文
《内心强大比什么都重要》:
已经被翻译成25种语言,影响着全世界的读者。
內心強大比什麽都重要
• 作者:(美)埃米·莫林
• 出版社:中信出版社
• 出版日期:2017-08-01
• 語言:簡體中文
• ISBN10:7508659139
• ISBN13:9787508659138
• 裝訂:282頁 / 普通級 / 1-1
1 不浪費時間自憐自艾
Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself
自艾自憐是自我殺傷力...的一種情緒
自憐自艾讓人老是覺得「我受到虧欠」,
感恩則讓人覺得「我得到的比應得的還多」。
心理素質好的人不會坐在原地,為自己的境遇或是別人對待他們的態度感到委屈。
相反,他們會為自己在生活中所需扮演的各種角色承擔起責任,
並且理解生活的不易與不公。
2 不放棄主導權
Don’t give away your power
不把自己開心或沮喪的權力交給別人
你懷抱著憤怒和怨恨,反而讓對方更有辦法干擾你的生活品質。
選擇寬恕可以拿回你對身心健康的主導權。
他們不會允許任何人控制他們,也不會讓任何人有機會凌駕於自己之上。
他們不會說「我老闆讓我感覺很糟糕」,因為他們知道自己有能力控制自己的情緒,
並且有權選擇如何回應周圍的一切。
3 不怕改變
Don’t shy away from change
害怕改變的心理機制
你覺得很難,並不表示你不該做。
人生中有些最棒的事情,往往是我們卯足心力克服挑戰得來的。
心理素質好的人呢,不避諱變化。
相反,他們主動迎接積極的改變並願意為了到來的變化靈活調整自己。
他們懂得,變化是不可以避免的而且他們也相信自己有能力適應得很好。
4 不在意無法掌控的事情
Don’t focus on things you can’t control
你的控制欲從何而來
找出恐懼後,接著找出你能掌控的事物。
切記,有時候你唯一能掌控的是你的行為和心態。
你從來不會聽一個心理素質好的人抱怨自己的行李丟了或是交通多麼擁堵。
他們生活的關注點在於自己可以控制的事。
他們清楚,有時候他們唯一能夠控制的只有自己的態度。
5 不會想要處處迎合他人
Don’t focus on things you can’t control
爲什麽我們總想取悅他人
無論你的價值觀是什麼,
只要你一心想要迎合他人,就不會再照著那些價值觀行事。
你很快就忘了做什麼才正確,只想取悅他人。
迎合他人雖然討喜,但不見得就是正確的選擇。
心理素質好的人能夠清楚的認識到,他們並不需要無時不刻地討好別人。
他們並不畏懼在必要時說「不」或是向上級坦白說出自己的意見。
他們儘量保持善良與公平,但當他們無法讓對方開心時,他們也能坦然處理。
6 不怕審慎冒險
Don’t fear taking calculated risks
如何衡量風險,做出理性决策
如果我們只冒自己最放心的風險,很可能會錯過一些絕佳的良機。
一生平凡和一生非凡之間,往往差別就在於是否審慎冒險。
他們不會魯莽行事或是冒愚蠢的險,不過他們並不介意承擔「計算過的風險」。
心理素質好的人,會在做出重大決策前衡量風險與收益,
在行動前已經充分了解了可能會面對的障礙。
7 不沉湎於過往
Don’t dwell on the past
與過去和解
拒絕沉浸在過去,不是叫你假裝往事從未發生過。
事實上,那往往是指接納過去,這樣你才能活在當下。
接納過去以後,你就能釋出心力,
根據你想變成的樣子、而不是過去的樣子來規劃未來。
心理素質好的人不會把大好的時光浪費在回憶過去,並且幻想一切如果可以重來就好了。
他們坦然接受自己的過去並且可以自信地說出他們從中學到了些什麼。
但是,他們不會一直沉浸在過去的悲慘遭遇或是幻想出的光榮歲月中。
他們會活在當下並未將來做好計劃。
8 不重蹈覆轍
Don’t make the same mistakes over and over
爲什麽我們會犯同樣的錯誤
雖然「屢仆屢起」值得鼓勵,
但是再重試之前,先瞭解你為什麼會仆倒比較睿智。
心理素質好的人,能夠為自己的行為承擔責任,並從之前的過失中學習。
這樣一來,他們便不會在同一個地方重複自己的過錯。
他們能繼續前進且在未來做出更好的決定。
9 不嫉妒他人成就
Don’t resent other people’s success
忌妒心
你努力朝著自己定義的成功邁進,
並好好管控不安全感時,就能在毫無妒忌下,為他人的成就喝采。
一旦你接受你們並非競爭對手,
就不再擔心別人的成功會讓你顯得很糟。
心理素質好的人能夠真正地欣賞與祝福他人的成功。
他們不會在別人超過自己時,感到嫉妒或是覺得自己被出賣了。
他們能意識到對方的成功來自努力工作,
而他們自己也願意付出努力以獲得成功。
10 不輕言放棄
Don’t give up after the first failure
逃避失敗的人也在逃避成功
失敗可能以新的方式挑戰你,塑造你的性格。
它可以幫你找出生活中需要努力改進的地方,
以及你自己從未發現的潛藏優點。
心理素質好的人,不會將失敗看作是放棄的原因。
他們反而會將失敗看作是一次成長及提高的機會。
他們願意繼續嘗試,直到成功。
11 不怕獨處
Don’t fear alone time
可怕的孤獨感
孤獨是覺得沒有人支持你,獨處則是自願獨自靜下來思考。
心理素質好的人能夠舒適地獨處並不懼怕沉默。
他們不害怕處於自己的思維中並且能夠將安靜的時間高效利用。
他們享受獨處的時間,無需時時依靠他人的陪伴,他們有能力讓自己開心。
12 不怨天尤人
Don’t feel the world owes you anything
世界並不虧欠你什麽
只想著自己缺了什麼,或無法做的事,
你可能因此錯過一些人生最棒的體驗。
心理素質好的人,不會覺得自己生來就該享有一切。
他們不會覺得別人的照顧是理所應當的,或是這世界必須厚待他們。
他們知道,他們需要有所付出才能得到任何機會。
13 不求立竿見影
Don’t expect immediate results
不是每件事都有立竿見影的成效
充分發揮潛力,需要展現抗拒短期誘惑的意志力;
延遲享樂的能力,有助於提升成功的機率。
無論他們正在改善自己的健康狀態或是在創立一家新的企業,
心理素質好的人並不期待馬上就能看到結果。
他們運用自己的技能並耐心地投入時間,
因為他們知道任何事想要發生質的變化,是需要時間的。
The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong | Amy Morin | TEDxOcala
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFbv757kup4
This event occurred on November 7, 2015 11:00am - 4:00pm EST (UTC -5hrs) Ocala, Florida United States

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13 things mentally strong people don't do

Notas do Editor

  1. 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do 心智堅強者不做的13件事
  2. Amy Morin(艾美‧莫林)   認證的臨床社會工作者、大學心理輔導師、心理治療師,也是心理界唯一從全盤觀點談論內心力量的人。現居緬因州的恩菲爾德。
  3. Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.
  4. They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.
  5. They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.
  6. Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible.
  7. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.
  8. You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams.
  9. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.
  10. Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary.
  11. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.
  12. They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks.
  13. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.
  14. Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it.
  15. However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.
  16. Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over.
  17. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.
  18. Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them.
  19. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.
  20. Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up.
  21. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.
  22. Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive.
  23. They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.
  24. Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life.
  25. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.