Responding to conflict is often intimidating and can result in avoidance until it reaches extreme levels. In this edition of Management Insights, Cheryl Eckl presents a 6-step process to deal with conflict early on and to properly reach a collaborative resolution that is satisfying to each of the parties involved.

1. Edition 004
Learning Tree
Management Insights
Expert Advice from Today’s Top Professionals
How to Respond to Conflict A Case Study
Effectively and Achieve a Mark is the vice president of sales at a successful
information technology company with an assistant,
Lasting Resolution Shirley, who has worked for him for several years.
(in Six Simple Steps!) Because Mark is on the road frequently, he has
to explain to Shirley what he wants done before
Conflict is unavoidable. Unfortunately, conflict
leaving. However, Shirley still calls Mark on the road
is often frightening as well, so the result is that
frequently, asking for instructions. Even with those
many people avoid dealing with it until it reaches
telephone interventions, Mark finds that he has to
extreme levels. However, if dealt with early on and
correct Shirley’s work when he returns. Mark wants
properly, a collaborative resolution can be achieved
to fire Shirley but avoids doing that because she is so
that is satisfying—and even enhancing—to each of
well liked, not only by Mark but also by the rest of the
the parties involved. This is true even for personal
staff.
conflicts where it seems almost inevitable that
someone is going to lose, be hurt or both.
While it might seem impossible, a simple six-step
process enabled Mark and Shirley to achieve a
lasting resolution they are both happy with.
Cheryl Eckl
Successfully Engaging Your Audience Using
a Five-Step Targeted Presentation MethodTotalPros, Inc.
This month in Management Insights, personal coach and professional
facilitator Cheryl Eckl provides readers with a recipe for conflict
resolution that, when followed correctly, delivers a positive outcome for
all parties involved.
1-800-843-8733
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OR VISIT www.learningtree.ca

2. Learning Tree
Edition 004
Management Insights
Expert Advice from Today’s Top Professionals
Responding to Conflict
Applying the Process wanted to improve her skills so that environment would be
more beneficial to all. However, if Shirley improved her ability
Step 1: Begin with Me. In any conflict situation, both to work proactively without frequent calls to Mark, her daily
parties must begin by asking some personal questions: What interaction with Mark would decrease. In their meeting, Mark
am I feeling about this situation? What have I contributed and Shirley made two lists on a whiteboard that expressed what
to the conflict? What do I believe about this situation? You each of them would prefer in a supervisor/assistant relationship
can begin answering these questions by identifying the and looked for shared interests. The top interest they shared
Facts, Patterns and Consequences that are involved. In this was a desire to work with someone who had a similar working
particular case, Mark was frustrated by the recurring pattern style. With this information, they were ready to move on to
of giving Shirley an assignment, getting calls from her for resolving the issue.
directions, and having to provide additional guidance, a
Step 5: You Say You Want a Resolution. Once all
process that also left Shirley upset. The consequences were
the parties understand their shared interests, they can generate
poor results, lost productivity for both Mark and Shirley, and
options to help each other achieve those interests. Along with
resentment from her co-workers who often had to help out
the critical element of Rewards, the Priorities, Outcomes and
Shirley.
Interests of each individual must be acknowledged. In this
Step 2: Diagnosing the Problem. Often, even the case, Mark and Shirley generated options to help each other
parties involved don’t understand why the conflict exists. This achieve those interests. The option that worked out for them
is where it’s important to understand everyone’s Perspectives. turned out to be a receptionist/assistant position opening in
In this case, both Mark and Shirley were frustrated with the the HR department. This position would give Shirley the human
other’s behaviour. Surprisingly, Shirley had great fondness interaction she wanted and excelled at. Mark now knew what
for Mark and wanted to continue working for him. Therefore, skills and temperament were paramount for his assistant and
this conflict is actually about two people with contradictory could provide HR with a better description of what he needed
work styles, very different comfort zones, and an inability to for Shirley’s replacement. Now all that was left to do was…
communicate their preferences. Mark’s priority was results;
Step 6: Formalize the Agreement. In the final step,
Shirley’s was relationships. What she needed was a job that
all parties participate in creating a contract that describes any
included lots of personal interaction. Regardless of what
further action items, their roles and responsibilities, the terms
Mark said about his affection for Shirley, what he wanted
of success, and the consequences for nonperformance. This
was as little interaction as possible. As is often the case, the
contract should include follow-up procedures should conflicts
disconnect between stated outcomes and actual interests was
arise again.
unconscious, making it even more difficult for either party to
change. The diagnosis made it possible for Mark and Shirley to
Finalizing the agreement was easy for Mark and Shirley: Mark
move on to the next step…
was able to thank Shirley for her hard work and offered a
letter of recommendation that would help her in any future
Step 3: Making It Safe to Cooperate. Both parties
job search. They agreed that their subsequent interactions
involved must give up any interest in revenge or in hurting
would be friendlier (Mark), more professional (Shirley) and that
the other person. Part of ‘making it safe’ can include having
they both could help each other understand the perspective
the parties meet in a safe environment with a neutral referee.
of co-workers with different working styles. They could even
Once Mark understood that Shirley wasn’t being malicious,
congratulate each other on doing what few people are willing
he let go of his frustration and stopped blaming her. Shirley
to do: Work through a conflict situation to find common ground
understood she needed a manager who valued her skills, not
and achieve a satisfying resolution for both of them.
a whole new skill set. They both became genuinely interested
in finding Shirley a new position where she could succeed.
The two met in a neutral space (a conference room) with a
facilitator to brainstorm options for a creative solution.
About the Author
Step 4: Making the Connection. This step enables Cheryl Eckl is a facilitator, speaker and personal coach. Her company,
all parties to understand how their individual problems are TotalPros, Inc., works with individuals and teams to achieve creative
related and how they share interests. Here we also identify solutions for both interpersonal and business problems. She is author of
the Meanings behind actions and emotions. Shirley said she Learning Tree’s course 904, “Responding to Conflict” and coauthor of
course 244, “Assertiveness Skills.” totalpros@msn.com
1-800-843-8733
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