2. Guidelines
1. To be Only1
2. Workshop&discussion(To find your Only1)
3. How to control your approval desire
4. Workshop&discussion(To notice when you need the desire)
5. Summary
3. Goals
• To find your Only1
• To notice human’s strong desire(approval-desire)
• To give high performance when you have high pressure, like
your presentation
• You can do what you wanna do without hesitating
• To raise your self-esteem
• To support your friend’s success, not jealous of…
4. How do you raise
your self-esteem?(high
confidence)
7. To be the Only1(3 skills)
Controlling approval desire
Having a bird’s eye
Don’t compare
Caring about yourself
You can’t please everybody
Contribution-feeling
Look both sides of the coin
Low
Self esteem
High
8. To be the Only1
Merit
・Having contribution-feeling
・Being evaluated highly
・No need to compare
Only1=What just you can do
21. To be the Only1
Controlling approval desire
Having a bird’s eye
Don’t compete
Caring about yourself
You can’t please everybody
Contribution-feeling
Look both sides of the coin
Low
Self esteem
High
23. To be the Only1
Controlling approval desire
Having a bird’s eye
Don’t compare
Caring about yourself
You can’t please everybody
Contribution-feeling
Look both sides of the coin
Low
Self esteem
High
24. Goals
• To find your Only1
• To notice human’s strong desire(approval-desire)
• To give high performance To give high performance when you
have high pressure, like your presentation
• You can do what you wanna do
• To raise your self-esteem
• To support your friend’s success, not jealous of…
=======
Memo
=======
with emotion
easy example
ask questions positively every slides
I have high confidence→expressing by body language
making mood in the seminar by yourself
riho part
Good afternoon,
My name is Ryu
Dragon
ok…
First of all,
I wanna confirm what you can get after the seminar.
(share the goals)
To achieve the goals, we have 2 missions
first,how to be find only1
second,how to controlling approval-desire
I will explain the 2 points in detail later
1.1分
Before telling 2 missions, I will ask two questions.
Can you think about them for a while?
(or What event will happen by having high self-esteem and how great is it?)
Can you imagine yourself with high confidence?
Let’s think for a while. What will happen?
Anything in life will proceed more positively.
for example,
your business, human relationship, health.
You can do what you wanna do with confidence.
by reverse, if you don’t have high self-esteem, you suffer from various situations
So I believe having high self-esteem is one of most important things in life
(3 minutes)
I will introduce how to raise your self-esteem
You can raise your self-esteem by 3 skills and 7 thoughts.
Let’s see them in detail.
//
I will introduce some guidelines.
Being only1 is not enough.
7 thoughts are needed.anyone can do them.
most people think that being only1 is difficult.
But how to be the only1 I suggest is that anyone can master it
I will teach you what anyone can master it
how to raise your self-esteem is composed of 3 skills and 7 thoughts.
But today the time is not enough, only for 75 minutes.
So we will refer To be the Only1 and Controlling approval desire
Having high self-esteem need to have high confidence.
Being No1 is one of the way to have high confidence.
But it’s difficult.
(because the numbers to be No1 are decided
limited people can be No1.)
Because the number to be No1 is only 1 person.
As the substitution of No1, you should aim at only1
what does Only1 give you?
You can get high self esteem by 3 merits of Only1.
You can get high self esteem by 3 merits of Only1.(二回いってもいい)First,You can have contribution-feeling.
Contribution-feeling is you feel how you give someone your value.
Contribution-feeling is important for you because you can feel how useful you are.
Why can you have contribution-feeling by being the Only1?
because it’s what only you can do.
Second,There is no substitute for you.So you tend to be evaluated highly.
Third, Only1 means you can make your original position.
In being Only1,there is nobody who you should compare with.
So you don’t need to compare.
Comparing have some demerits.
People sometimes lose their confidence by comparing.
There are some ways to be only1.like what I said, it’s difficult to be No1. it’s most difficult to keep No1.
because there is someone you can’t win in the field you are good at.
So my best answer is discovering 3 skills or characters that you have already.
it’s ok even with characters.Skill includes character.
Fortunately,You don’t need to get new 3 skills.
Anyone can find 3 skills. We will introduce how to find 3 skills on the workshop later.
by the way,why being only1 is 3 skills,not 1 or 2 or 4skills?
Generally speaking, there is someone you can’t win in the filed you are good at. 2 skills too.
but how about having 3 skills?
there are just small numbers of people who can compete in the 3 fields.
If the numbers of skills are too much, anyone doesn’t know who you are and what you are doing.It’s important for others to know who you are and what you are doing as self-branding.
3 skills is best.
for example
In my case
sport especially tennis
web marketing
how to use information effectively in the net
they are my 3 skills.
Well, Let’s move to find your 3 skills.
(7 minutes)
it’s better to choose 3 skills that contribute others more.
ここで注意点とどうやってワークするかの補足
キャラクターでも良い
You don’t need to get new 3 skills.
りほの説明
5分
writing time
5分
discussion time
10分
sharing time
5分
(for people having a lot of skills)
Are there everyone that you already have 3 skills?
the people can try to find other 3 skills.
It’s an advanced work.
You can choose either,former work or this work.
The advanced work is you should see bad sides in your life.
In my case,
I found other 3 skills by bad sides though I have 3 skills already.
right eye,ear, and easy to become sick.
I will explain them.
This sentence is useful to find good skills.
When you realize the meaning, you can accept all happening.
It mean that anything has good side and bad side.
It’s possibility that any accident happen in the world.
for example,In my case,
I have no hearing in right ear and don’t have right eyesight.
So I can’t hear and see in the right side.
Generally speaking, It’s so bad and inconvenient. You don’t wanna have both experience,right?
But they also have good sides.
For example, I noticed what is important thing. People care about me so much.
As a result, no eyesight and no hearing have became my Only1.
So you also can change the meaning to positive side or focus on positive side.
When you realize the meaning, you can accept all happenings.
if you have a lot of skills, you can choose 3 skills in the skills properly place by place.
So you can choose either work. If you choose either depends on your self esteem level.
(during work time)
because you forget them soon.
and then you should train them gradually to be Only1.
40分
I will explain second point
This is most important thing of 7 thoughts.
What is approval desire?
it’s the desire you need high evaluation from others.
Your first priority is others, not yourself.
Approval desire is like caring about others too much.
Worst occurrence is you can’t live in the way you wanna live because you become yourself who others expect you to.
You can’t do even what you wanna do.
or you believe what you wanna do by force though it’s not what you wanna do.
But you know,Approval desire is an inevitable desire.(Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)
And sometimes approval desire is useful.
You can do your best by the desire so that you are evaluated highly from others.You can achieve good results.
(I also have experienced wanting to get high evaluation badly.)
But…
But
Approval desire connects to feeling nervous too because you care about other’s eyes too much.
I wanna emphasize that you shouldn’t care about others too much.
It has a lot of bad influence, especially 3 big problems.
First problem, like what I explained, you can’t do what you wanna do and you try to adjust others.
As in a case,it often happens between parents and children.
Children try to come up to parent’s expectations
But it may not what they wanna do.
Second problem,You can’t show high performance.
because you feel so uneasy by caring about too much. for example, giving a presentation
Third problem, you can’t escape to compare others.
because you wanna respond to expectations from others too much.
like what I said before,Comparing have some demerits.
People sometimes lose their confidence by comparing.
So controlling approval desire helps you not have 3 big problems.
Controlling mean you should use only good point.
Doing what you wanna do is also one of the way in raising your self-esteem.
??分
///
(絵でこんな状況のときに、これ起こりますよね?とボディーランゲージで話す
1.you making yourself have a boyfriend or girlfriend
2.don’t accept correct opinions
do you feel jealous of your friend?
or
or
or
///
so you should have a bird’s eye.
///
<Summary>
It has bad influence.
Doing what you wanna do is the one of raising your self-esteem.)
In order to control approval desire, first step is you should notice when you feel the desire.
Let’s move to second workshop.
ここで注意点とどうやってワークするかの補足
facebookの投稿
ここまでで2ndの俺の話
5分
りほの話(容姿)
5分
discussion time
5分ずつで10分
sharing time
5分
summary
2分
(りほ、他人を気にしすぎるのをやめて自分のamazingなところにfocusを置いた)
we explained 2 points.
In fact, It’s difficult to explain all because of time.
If you know more, and talk more, please ask us later.
We hope we keep the relationship that we connect you though this topic today.
Let’s move to all summary
Summary
Summary
You got 3 skills so that you are to be the Only1.
and
If you notice having approval desire…?
you should remember your 3 skills.
It may not be enough for now.
But 3 skills are your strong points and your real abilities that others evaluate.
you should train your 3 skills more. Be conscious of them.Focus on them because you have amazing skills.
Don’t think it’s useless.
And then you can control approval desire If you notice having approval desire.
You can raise your self esteem by the 2 points we work on.
And then you can achieve the goals that I explained before.
Will you be able to achieve the goals that I said in the first place?
it’s difficult to explain. So it’s for upper class
We can also call it metacognition.
It means that you observe something from far place.
for example,do you have such experience?
when you get mad, you can’t observe yourself because you focus on getting mad.
Like this, most people can’t notice what you are doing if you follow your instinct.
In another case,having high self-esteem is sometimes dangerous.
It makes you be confident too much.
Being confident too much isn’t good because you can’t have wide field of vision.
It mean you focus on what you see and believe.
Having a bird’s eye is useful for not being overconfident.
if you find such mad man, you should say having a bird’s eye.
And then the person will get mad more.haha
if you aim at No1, it’s the most difficult because there are some professional people in the world who we can’t believe.
You should stand in your good fields. 3 skills are useful for it.
you should make original position.
Well,You don’t need to compete hard.
You should train your 3 skills gradually.
if you compare with someone, you may lose your confidence by complete defeat.
We have a misunderstanding experience we have to compete in the world.
So it’s difficult to understand “Don’t compete”
a example
sport athlete
It’s a my favorite word.
generally speaking, people not having high self-esteem tend to care about others too much.All of them feel fear how to be seen.
But in fact, anyone don’t care about you so much.
so you should do what you wanna do with not caring about others
facebook?
have you experienced not to post
there are some people who hate you even if you were a god.
so you shouldn’t be everybody’s friend.
More than that, you should cherish people who support who you are.
You should focus on such people.
people not having high self-esteem tend to focus on enemy
Do you like everyone?
When you do what you wanna do, a few people complain you with jealousy
for example, I often post my good results.
I succeeded a business presentation.
A few people are not glad with the success.
I know it, but some people are glad
It’s complicated meaning coz people tend to be confused with self-satisfaction and contribution-feeling
So I have to explain it in detail.
Contribution-feeling is how you contribute to someone in the world.
A misunderstand point is you shouldn’t force yourself to contribute to someone.
What having contribution-feeling becomes to love yourself and heighten your confidence.
For example, can you pick up trash in the road naturally though anyone doesn’t see you.
if you pick up it by force, it doesn’t make sense.
what sometimes happen is you think you contribute to someone though your contribution isn’t helpful for anyone and anything.
it’s just self-satisfaction.
Here, there is a question.
Similar thing between them is you do what you wanna do.
What is similar and different?
The difference is a little.
Different thing is if you need to check evaluation from others.
if you ignore evaluation from others, it becomes self-satisfaction
If you make mistake about it, it become worst.
It doesn’t mean you just do what you wanna do.
It’s important if what you wanna do contribute or not.
As a notable point, you should check it’s contribution-feeling.
Sometimes it’s self-satisfaction,not contribution-feeling.
You need to have the responsibility when you do what you wanna do
As most situation, parents intervene their children.
If it’s not good for the children, it’s self-satisfaction.
When you give some advice to someone in daily life, you should care about if it’s self-satisfaction or contribution-feeling
Being too much is bad.
So-so is best.
When you realize the meaning, you can accept all happening.
It’s also my favorite proverb.
It mean that anything has good side and bad side, so you should consider both sides and judge correctly.
It’s possibility that any accident happen.
for example,In my case,
I have no hearing in right ear and don’t have right eyesight.
Generally speaking, It’s so bad.
But of course they have good sides.
So you should judge them after you should consider them.
When you realize the meaning, you can accept all happenings.
Graph
3skill ✖ 7thought=∞
infinite
First,you should find 3 good skills you have originally. Anything is ok, not only skill but also character.
You don’t need to get new 3 skills.
And then you should do what you wanna do with contribution-feeling,not self-satisfaction .Not forgetting to have eye’s birds, you should control approval desire.
And then you can have high self-esteem.