The document provides information on restitution and positive discipline techniques. It discusses 1) defining restitution as fixing mistakes and returning to the group in a strengthened way, 2) teaching kids to look inside themselves, 3) different positions of control teachers can take with students from punisher to respecting self, 4) how addressing students' basic needs for love, belonging, empowerment, freedom and fun can improve behavior and learning outcomes, and 5) restitution tools like social contracts, the restitution triangle, and using questions to help students find solutions and take responsibility.
7. Why People Behave 6
Avoid Pain
Punisher
Teacher does Yell & Points
If you don’t
Teacher says
I’ll
Rebels &
Legacy
Blames
Students says I don’t care
Students Repeated
outcome offense
8. Positions of Control 7
Avoid Pain
Punisher Guilter
Teacher Yell & Preaches &
does Points Shoulds
Teacher If you don’t You know
says I’ll better
Rebels & Hide Deny
Legacy
Blames LIE
Students
I don’t care I’m sorry
says
Students Repeated Low self-
outcome offense esteem
9. Positions of Control 8
Avoid Pain Reward from others
Punisher Guilter Buddy
Teacher Yell & Preaches Make excuse
for them
does Points & Shoulds
Teacher If you You know
Do it for me
says don’t I’ll better
Rebels & Hide
Legacy Dependency
Blames Deny Lie
Students I don’t I thought you
I’m sorry were my friend
says care
Students Repeat Low self-
Weakness
outcome offense esteem
10. Positions of Control
Avoid Pain Reward from others
Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor
Teacher Yell & Preaches Make excuse Counts &
& Shoulds for them measures
does Points
Teacher If you You know Do it for What’s
says don’t I’ll better me the rule
Rebels & Hide
Legacy Dependency Conformity
Blames Deny Lie
I thought you
Students I don’t How high/
I’m sorry were my
how far
says care friend
Students Repeat Low self- Consequence
Weakness
outcome offense esteem orientated
11. Positions of Control
Avoid Pain Reward from others Respecting Self
Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Manager
Teacher Yell & Preaches & Make excuse Counts & Asks
Shoulds for them measures questions
does Points
Teacher If you Do it for What’s the What do you
You know
rule? believe?
says don’t I’ll me
better
Rebels & Hide Deny
Legacy Dependency Conformity Strengthens
Lie
Blames
I thought you
Students I don’t Counts & What can I do
I’m sorry were my
measures to fix it?
says care friend
Students Repeat Low self- Conseequence Self
Weakness oriented Restitution
outcome offense esteem
13. The ANSWERS
MONITOR MANAGER
Provide minimal choices Provides many choices
Outcome known from start Outcome unknown at start
Teacher-directed Child-driven
States what will happen Asks questions
External motivation Internal motivation
Teacher-evaluation Self-motivation
Teaches external control Teaches self-control
Does not help meet child’s 4 basic Helps child meet all four basic
needs needs
14. Basic Needs
12
• Food
• Shelter
• Health
• Sleep
• Fresh Air
• Security
15. Love & Belonging
13
• Caring
• Sharing
• Joining
• Accepting
• Friendship
• Cooperating
Unconditional or Conditional
16. Power and Love 14
• Conditional Love
• Unconditional Love
17. Empowerment
15
• Achiever
• Success
• Do you best
• Capable
• Leader
• Skilled
deep or cheap
19. FUN
17
• Playful
• Humor
• Pleasure
• Enjoyment
• Laughter
• Excitment
• Enthusiasm Clean or Mean??
20. 4 Corners of the room
18
• Where do you stand? Which cup do
you need to have most full?
• Or are you balance...middle of the room
• Can this place change?
23. Thank you
• Trials, temptations, disappointments--
all these are helps instead of
hinderances, if one uses them rightly.
They not only test the fiber of character,
but strengthen it...Every trial endured
and weathered in the right spirit makes
a soul nobler and stronger than before.
• James Buckham
24. Restitution Tool Kit
• Social Contract/Beliefs (come out of rules)
• Restitution Triangle
• Quality World
• 30 second interventions
• Does it really matter?
• Yes if...
• My Job/Your Job
• Could you have done worse?
• Asking Questions
• WEAVING
26. Restitution Triangle
What do we
Not for no believe?
W
reason
l
ea
efu
re
os
ed
Social
rp
i nte
Se
pu
ne Contract
rn
Keep that
is
ek
all
behavior,
ior
the
ym
add to it.
t he
av
Person you
oti
eh
want to be.
te
va
lb
Could you
be
RESTITUTION
da
ted
Al
have done
lie
worse?
li
f
Va
Stabilize the identity
We are doing the best we can
Be a good Not interested It’s ok to make Your not the
friend to in fault mistakes only one
yourself
28. 30 Second Interventions
Is what you are doing okay now?
What can I do to help you so you can...?
When will you be ready to start?
What’s your job now?
It looks like we have a problem.
How can we solve it?
Do you want to figure out a better way?
How can I help?
29. More 30 Sec. Interventions
How would you like to be treated during this activity?
Can you do that?
Can you change what you Is it okay to make mistakes?
are doing now to be helpful? Can we fix it?
Are you being the kind of person you
want to be ?
Would you like to do better?
It looks like you have a problem.
How can I help?
30. Does it really matter?
Goals:
To identify areas in which we try to control other
people.
To select and prioritize the standards which reflect
our values.
To identify the beliefs behind limitations we want to
set on others.
31. YES IF...
This activity requires adults to identify and evaluate requests from
children to which they normally answer no or “No, because…” The
requests are usually simple ones such as “May I sharpen my pencil?
The answer my be “No, because I’m talking.” However, a better
answer would be one which redirects the child, such as “Yes, when
I’m finished giving instructions.”
32. YES IF...continued
• Say, YES... as often as possible.
• If you can’t say YES, say YES IF... or
YES WHEN...
• When you say NO, give the child a
reason and don’t change your mind.
33. My Job/Your Job
My JOB is... Your JOB is...
Teach you new things To learn
Help you find answers Be prepared to work
Have fun Be on time
Keep you safe Try your best
Respect students Ask questions
Evaluate students Make responsible choices
Be prepared Solve problems
Safe learning environment Self evaluate
My JOB is NOT...
To give you the answer Your JOB is not...
To yell To do nothing
To be your mom Provide entertainment
To be your maid Put downs
To make you learn To do my job
To make other people’s decisions
34. Could you have done worse?
• SELECT A BEHAVIOR OR A MISTAKE:
1. Ask: Could you have done worse?
(exaggerate-eg. If aggressing, could you have
been more aggressive?}
2. Ask: What was the value you were protecting
by the behavior you didn’t like in yourself?
(value=need)
3. Ask: Would it be better to not hold the value-
to not be the person you want to be? (NO!)
4. Give yourself credit, though it didn’t work out
the way you wanted it to, it was better than
35. First Questions?
• What need is not being met and how
can we meet that need?
• Start with: What do you want? How do
you want it to look?
• XXXX How can I make this kid do what
I want? What happened?
36. Asking Questions
• These are great to teach kids how to ?
• What do you want?
• What are you doing? Saying?
• Is it working?
• Can you figure out a better way?
37. Weaving
Monitor
Manager
Monitor Manager
If you don’t____, I will___ I would rather____
(Give you a consequence. Discomfort) (Fix it. We both get what we need.)
