adult youth partnership

1. Youth and Adult Partnerships-
Let our Voice Be Heard
RIAZ.K.M & THASLEEM SABITH.K
Assistant Professors, Government College of Nursing,
Thrissur

7. • The single biggest problem in communication
is the illusion that it has taken place
George Bernard Shaw

8. Today's work place
• 4-5 generations
• 4 different personalities
• Different genders
• Many cultures
• Personal issues
• Lack of emotional intelligence (self
awareness + self management+ social
awareness)

9. • American psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry
Ingham in the 1950's

10. Johari window
1. Open area, open self, free area, free self, or 'the arena‘:
what is known by the person about him/herself and is
also known by others -
2. Blind area, blind self, or 'blind spot‘: what is unknown
by the person about him/herself but which others
know
3. Hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self or
'façade’: what the person knows about him/herself
that others do not know
4. Unknown area or unknown self: what is unknown by
the person about him/herself and is also unknown by
others

11. Johari window

12. Consequences of bad communication
habits
• Lose respect from co workers
• Lose respect of your superiors
• Affect your profession
• Fired from your job

13. 6 pillars of Communication
• Assertiveness
• Authenticity
• Open mindedness
• Empathy
• Clarity
• Listening

14. For better communication
• Identify potential consequences
• Acknowledge the bad habits
• Learn and implement better skills

15. E+R=O
Event +Response =Outcome
• Event (any thing and every thing out side you)
• Response (your thoughts, emotions and
behaviors) (response = responsibility)

16. Barriers of communication
• Biases
• Perception (difference between reality and
your perception)
• Cultural barriers
• Physical barriers
• Sociological barriers
• psychological barrier

17. Three Styles of Communication

18. • Not expressing honest feelings, thoughts and
beliefs.
• Allowing others to violate your rights.
• Expressing thoughts and feelings in an
apologetic, self‐effacing way
• Violating your own rights.
• Showing a subtle lack of respect for the other
person’s ability to take disappointments
• shoulder others responsibility, or handle their
problems.

19. Verbal characteristics
• long rambling sentences, beat‐around‐the‐bush
• hesitant, filled with pauses, frequent throat clearing
• apologize inappropriately in a soft unsteady voice using
phrases such as “if it wouldn’t be too much trouble…”
• fill in words, e.g., “maybe” , “er”, “um”, “sort of”
• voice often dull and monotonous
• over‐soft or over‐warm, quiet often dropping away
frequent justifications, e.g., “I wouldn’t normally say
anything”
• apologies, e.g., “I’m terribly sorry to bother you..
• qualifiers, e.g., “Its only my opinion” or “I might be
wrong”
• self‐dismissal, e.g., “It’s not important” or “It doesn’t
really matter”
• self put‐downs, e.g., “I’m useless...hopeless” or “You
know me...”

20. • Non‐verbal characteristics:
• averting gaze, looking down
• posture can be slouched, wringing hands
• winking or laughing when expressing anger
• covering mouth with hand, crossing arms for
protection
• ghost smiles when expressing anger or being
criticized
• raising eyebrows in anticipation
• jaw trembling, lip biting
• Thinking style:
• “I don’t count”
• “My feelings, needs and thoughts are less
important than yours”
• “People will think badly of me or not like me”
• “If I say no then I may upset someone, I will be
responsible for upsetting them”

21. After being nonassertive
• you feel bad
• you feel controlled by other people
• you feel little
• you feel helpless
• Sometimes prone to build up of stress
and anger that can explode in a really
aggressive manner
• Others often make unreasonable
demands of you

22. • Can get stuck in relationships that
aren’t healthy and find it very difficult
to change
• Restrict self into other people’s image
of a lovable good person
• When repressing anger and frustration
this diminishes other more positive
feelings in you
• Loss of self esteem

23. Being nonassertive is not a good way to communicate.

24. Aggressive
• You stand up for your personal rights
and express your thoughts, feelings
and beliefs in a way that is usually
inappropriate and always violates the
rights of the other person.
• People often feel devastated by an
encounter with an aggressive person
• Superiority is maintained by putting
others down.

25. Aggressive
• Verbal characteristics:
• Strident, sarcastic or condescending voice
• Fluent, few hesitations, Often abrupt,
clipped, fast
• Emphasising blaming words
• Firm voice, Tone sarcastic, cold, harsh
• Voice can be strident, often shouting, rising
at end
• Use of threats, e.g., “You’d better watch
out” or “If you don’t...”
• Put downs, e.g., “You’ve got to be
kidding...” or “Don’t be so stupid”

26. Aggressive
• Verbal characteristics:
• Evaluative comments, emphasizing
concepts such as: should”, “bad”, “ought”
• Sexual / racist remarks
• Boastfulness, e.g., “I haven’t got problems
like yours”
• Opinions expressed as fact, e.g., “Nobody
want to behave like that” or “That’s a
useless way to do it”
• Threatening questions, e.g., “Haven’t you
finished that yet?” or “Why on earth did
you do it like that?”

27. Aggressive
• Non‐verbal characteristics:
• Intruding into the other person’s space
• Staring the other person out
• Gestures such as pointing, fist
clenching
• Leaning forward or over
• Crossing arms (unapproachable)
• Smiling may become sneering
• Scowling when angry
• Jaws set firm

28. Aggressive
• Thinking style:
• “I’ll get you before you have a chance of
getting me”
• “I’m out for number one”
• “The world is a battle ground and I am
out to win”

29. Aggressive
• Your behaviour will create enemies and
resentment in those around you
• This can result in a sense of paranoia and fear
• If you are always trying to control others it can
be difficult for you to relax
• Your relationships will tend to be based on
negative emotions and are likely to be unstable
• Aggressive people tend to feel inferior deep
down and try to compensate for that by putting
others down
• Feelings of guilt and shame
• Decreasing self confidence and self esteem

30. Being aggressive is not a good way to communicate.

32. PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS
• SYMPTOMS: Passive-Aggressive behavior implies the unconscious
(out of the person’s self-awareness)
• expressions of anger toward others or self.
• hurt the people who are waiting for them and depending on
them.
• Students who turn things in late, are late to classes, miss class
because they accidentally slept late, or wait until the last minute
to study for exams,
• likely get poorer grades or even flunk out and miss out on the
career they wanted.
• show displeasure and walk away
• Intentional Inefficiency
• Addictive Behaviors

33. Assertive communication
• A way of communicating our
feelings, thoughts, and beliefs in an
open, honest manner without
violating the rights of others
• It is an alternative to being
aggressive where we abuse other
people’s rights, and passive where
we abuse our own rights.

34. Assertive communication
• Verbal characteristics:
• Firm, relaxed voice, Fluent, few hesitations
• Steady even pace, Tone is middle range, rich
and warm
• Sincere and clear, Not over‐loud or quiet
• Voice appropriately loud for the situation
• “I” statements (“I like”, “I want”, “I don’t like”)
that are brief and to the point
• Co‐operative phrases, e.g., “What are your
thoughts on this”
• Emphatic statements of interest, e.g., “I would
like to”
• Distinction between fact and opinion, e.g.,
“My experience is different”

35. Assertive communication
• Verbal characteristics:
• Suggestions without “should” or
“ought's” e.g., “How about…” or “Would
you like to…”
• Constructive criticism without blame,
e.g., “I feel irritated when you interrupt
me”
• Seeking others opinions, e.g., “How does
this fit in with your ideas”
• Willingness to explore other solutions,
e.g., “How can we get around this
problem?”

36. Assertive communication
• Non‐verbal characteristics:
• Receptive listening
• Direct eye contact without staring
• Erect, balanced, open body stance
• Open hand movements
• Smiling when pleased
• Frowning when angry
• Features steady
• Jaw relaxed
• Thinking style:
• “I won’t allow you to take advantage of me
and I won’t attack you for being who you are”

37. Being assertive is a good way to communicate.

38. Tips for Dealing With an Aggressive
Adolescent
• No child is always bad
• Respect
• Don’t ignore
• Be positive
• Don’t rationalize
• Avoid a power struggle
• Behavior contracts
• Effective commands

39. • Set up house rules or classroom rules that
must always be followed
• Negative consequences
• Increase ongoing communication and
cohesion
• Model effective problem solving
• Teach quick but effective relaxation
techniques (deep breathing, counting to 10)

40. • Develop a list of coping statements to deal with
anger
• understanding others’ perspectives, including
what others may be thinking and feeling
• Teach the skills for negotiating needs with peers,
parents, and teachers
• Autonomy
• Monitoring and Evaluation
• Provide the adolescent with techniques for
joining new, positive peer groups and avoiding
deviant peer groups and negative peer pressure

41. Basic Rules of Negotiation
1. Know what you want and why.
2. Plan what you will say.
3. Be truthful.
4. Don’t give up.
“Negotiating is the art of reaching an agreement by
resolving differences through creativity”

42. Types of negotiation

43. The three ‘Ps’ in negotiation
– Position (power?)
– Perspective (empathy)
– Problems (solutions)
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
Indira Gandhi

44. Negotiation Skill Steps
• Face the other person.
• Look in the eyes of the other person.
• Use a good voice tone (not too loud or whiny).
• Use a good facial expression.
• Use good body posture (straight or relaxed).
• Use good listening skills.
• Ask for what you want.
• State the reason why you want it.
• Thank the other person if he or she agrees to the
request.
• Suggest a compromise if he or she does not agree.

45. Criticism
• Keep in mind that
• criticism deals with behavior – things you say
and do – not your personality

46. Criticism
• If there is truth in the criticism, agree with it.
• If you have made a mistake, acknowledge
assertively what you did.
• If somebody continues to criticize you when it
is not necessary, ask him what it is exactly that
you are doing that bothers him.

47. Accepting
Criticism
• Stay calm – don’t get angry and upset.
• Ask what specific things I can do to improve
my work.
• Thank the person for the feedback.
• Say that I will make the changes.

48. Taking Responsibility for
One’s actions
• Don’t blame someone else.
• Say that I made a mistake.
• Ask how I can correct it or say how I will
correct it.

49. Being realistic About one’s
Capabilities
• Admit that there is a problem.
• Listen to advice from others.
• Say what I will do.
• Thank people who give me advice.

50. If not assertive during criticism
• “Nice person”
• “complainer with oneself”
• Clinging Vine – who clings to others and
expects them to stick up for your rights and
intervene on your behalf
• Silent Victim – who has resigned herself to
lack of needed services because “there’s
nothing I can do about it”

51. If not assertive during criticism
• Fairy Princess – who expects everything to happen
• Waiter – who waits for something someone
promised
• Bombshell – who fires angry missiles sporadically
• Scaredy Cat – afraid that “if I make trouble they’ll
get back at me”
• Appeaser – who compromises your needs because
“if I ask for too much they won’t give me anything”
• Sellout Self-advocate – who makes deals with
bureaucrats to get services for himself and
pressures others not to rock the boat

52. Disarming
• Diffuse the energy of the person confronting you
• Move the discussion in more productive manner
in the right direction
• Thanking confrontation
• Finding truth in the criticism
• Validating feelings
• Giving undeserved credits
• Accepting more responsibility

53. Disarming statements
• “What a relief”
• “You are right”
• “Thank you for bringing that up”
• “I appreciate the feed back”
• “Thank goodness finally someone finally said that
out loud”
• “Its refreshing to hear some one actually speak
his or her mind”
• “People tell me that sometimes”

54. Youth and Adult Partnerships
• Provides opportunities for youth and adults to
work together
• Excellent learning opportunity for both groups
• Adults work with youth as equals in the
partnership (not do activities to or for youth)

55. • Benefits of youth involvement:
– Youth recruit other youth more effectively than
adults
– Youth have a fresh perspective
– Youth have access to information
– Youth gain self-esteem and new skills.
– Communities gain new source of potential leaders

56. • Benefits of youth involvement:
– New role models are formed.
– Negative youth activities are reduced.
– Adults learn they don’t need to be responsible for
everything.
– Adults better understand youth and become re-
energized.
– Youth better understand adults and the roles they
play.

57. Tips to develop effective YAP’s
• Don't expect more from youth than you would
from an adult. Youth have busy schedules and
deadlines too.
• Treat youth as individuals. Don't ask one
youth to represent all youth.
• Encourage youth & adults to work as equal
partners with balanced voices.
• Respect youth as having a significant
contribution to make and do not view them
only as program beneficiaries.

58. • Don't interrupt. Allow youth the chance to finish
their thoughts.
• Help the group feel comfortable with each other
and overcome the initial anxiety.
• Outline expectations and responsibilities of youth
and adult members. Establish a set of shared
values, such as respect, equality, openness,
listening, and trust.
• Work toward outcomes that address real issues
and needs of youth & community.

59. • Allow youth and adults to learn together and
explore beneficial new program ideas.
• Take joint responsibility for decision-making,
identifying issues, planning, and implementing
plans.
• Provide challenging and relevant roles for
participation in the organization.
• Evaluate results and give positive reinforcement.
Allow time to reflect on the work accomplished.

60. Overcoming Barriers to Youth Service
• Discuss organizational “mindset” so that
adults and youth working together is a
productive and enjoyable experience for both
groups
• Advise adults about “dos and don’ts” on how
to work with youth, and youth on how to work
with adults
• Hold open discussion about stereotypes that
adults and youth have of each other
• Lead exercises to practice “shared power”

61. • Train various age groups appropriately
• Provide clear definition of roles and
responsibilities for both adults and youth
• Include youth in meaningful decision-making
processes
• Be sensitive to logistics such as the availability
of transportation, suitable scheduling, and
snacks

62. Thank you