SlideShare uma empresa Scribd logo
1 de 12
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 1 of 12
Welcome to the Reboot podcast. Before we start today's episode, I wanted to take a moment and
introduce you to our new sponsor, Justworks. Justworks is awesome; they help businesses take
care of their benefits, payroll, HR. They do it all so seamlessly, easily, automatically and we
know they are awesome because we use them. The Reboot podcast is really more than just Jerry
and guests; it takes a whole team to put it together and Justworks makes it easy to support that
team. We wanted to take this opportunity with this new sponsorship to introduce you to some of
the amazing people who help make the amazing podcast happen.
Charles: "Hi, I'm Charles Gammill, I am a freelance podcast producer and audio engineer and
I'm an assistant producer on the Reboot podcast. So, Jerry will record his conversations and you
just never know what the Skype connection is going to sound like; so I edit out a lot of clicks and
pops, background noises, as best as I can and then I put that audio into a template that has the
music, your voiceover. So that's basically what I do, it's post production on the audio.
Dan: So Charles, do you want to talk about how we came to make this Ad?
Charles: Yeah, so we were talking about all the different angles we could take, it struck me how
much more difficult it's been to record this than it's ever been to use Justworks and it reminded
when Ali was getting everything set up for – how to pay me. So she sent me this link to
Justworks and I went and signed into it and like two or three minutes later, I was done and I was
like, 'Is that all there is to it?' And so, I had a meeting with Ali a few days later and I put on the
agenda specifically to ask her, did I do Justworks right, because it seemed too simple 'cuz yeah,
all I had to was fill in my – how I wanted to get paid and it was done.
Dan: And I'm not joking when I say, setting up Justworks to set up our payroll, our benefits, our
insurance actually took less time that it took for Charles to describe it. And we use Justworks;
we're so grateful for their support to this podcast and to learn more about how they could work
for you, go to Reboot.io/justworks.
"It is in the space between inner and outer world which is also the space between people, the
transitional space that intimate relationships and creativity occur." That quote is from DW
Winnicott. When Jerry and Fred Wilson first came together to form Flatiron Partners in 1996,
they made a partnership agreement that still stands today. It wasn't a legal deal although I'm sure
they made many of those, but rather an agreement on how they would work and be together.
Jerry, coming from a painful previous work experience suggested to Fred, "If I ever do anything
to you that pisses you off, can you just tell me so I'm not trying to figure it out or I'm worried
about it? Because if you don't tell me, then I'll retreat." Fred agreed and their partnership was
extremely effective and 20 years later, their friendship is still strong.
What if your agreements with partners and co-workers were more focused on the characteristics
of how you come together related to one another and work together instead of what happens
when shit hits the fan. Zelle Nelson and Maureen McCarthy are co-founders of the Center for
Collaborative Awareness and our guests for today's conversation. They have created a
collaborative process called the Blueprint of WE which is used to build and sustain healthier, a
more resilient business and personal relationships those that start from a place of hope and
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 2 of 12
openness. They join Jerry to share how they came together, how the process works and how this
can impact your relationships and your organization. Enjoy the conversation.
Jerry Colonna: Good morning guys, thanks so much for joining us and today we have this very
special edition of the Reboot podcast where we are going to be diving deep on the issue
of co-founder conflict. And with me today, we have, if you can introduce yourselves
that would be great.
Zelle Nelson: I'm Zelle Nelson.
Maureen McCarthy: And I'm Maureen McCarthy and we are the co-founders of the Center for
and we created a collaboration process called the Blueprint of WE.
Jerry: That's great, thank you so much for that and we at Reboot are really looking at the
question of the relationship between co-founders and not even just co-founders but
really colleagues in the office. You know, there's a line that I use which is that what I'm
really about, whether it was originally in my coaching practice or now with my
colleagues and friends at Reboot, what we are really about is trying to induce kind of a
revolution in the corporate world which is to reduce the violence. And I use that term
with respecting the physical violence that exists in the world while simultaneously
honoring the kind of violence that gets perpetrated on people when their sense of self is
diminished in the office, in the workplace. And what I – and so we talk about building
non-violent workplaces and one of the biggest sources of tension and challenge are
those interpersonal relationships in the office. I often joke and I quote very poorly,
Jean-Paul Sartre, who said that hell is other people and, you know, when I first came
across the Blueprint of WE, which was through the work I have done through BayNVC
or Bay Non-violent Communications and specifically the brilliant work of Mickey
Cashton, I immediately began thinking about ways that this might be applied to the
kinds of relationships that we as coaches run into. And so, I thought it would be good if
we could take a few moments to really sort of understand what the blueprint is all about
and my first question is, how did you guys hit upon this as a structure, as a model?
Maureen: Yeah, it was actually kind of by chance; it was almost 17 years ago now, Zelle and I
met and started first knowing each other in a personal relationship and started dating
and it happened to be the year I have a very rare, fatal, lung disease and I was told that
year that that's as long as people live, you know, you will die by this year. So when I
met him, there was no expectation of some long-term future and the picket fence and
the house and all the kinds of things that you are supposed to have in a relationship.
Zelle had just come out of a relationship –
Zelle: I had been in love with this woman who moved back to Sweden and the relationship ended
and I was in a not-so-great place –
Maureen: And he even said to me on our second date, 'Hey, if she ever comes knocking on the
door, just know that I'm out of here' which was fine.
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 3 of 12
Jerry: What an amazing start.
Maureen: Which was fine at the time because I said, we were in a restaurant and I said, 'Is she
here tonight?' And he said, 'No, she's in Sweden.' And I said, 'Well, I'm going to be
dead before she comes knocking on the door so, I hope she comes back to you. Like
that would be incredibly – like, good luck with that. I think that's cool.'
Zelle: That has absolutely changed, I am so much more like connected and in love than I have
ever been –
Maureen: Yeah, it's so true.
Zelle: – and yet, at the time, we were – neither of us were expecting this relationship to be
anything more than what we were doing in this moment, right now.
Maureen: We weren't measuring up against forever which I think we do in both business and
personal relationships. We measure someone up against forever, we decide whether
they think they can measure up for the rest of our lives and then we start – our mind
starts slowly playing around with the things that we think work and the things we need
to change and what doesn't work about them. And we engage a whole set of neural
pathways around – it's a subconscious dance of protecting ourselves, of safety, of like
how can I be in a relationship with this person and protect myself from the things that I
don't think work for me? And it's kind of a crazy start when you think about it. Even in
a business situation, whether it's an employee manual or a contract, we start all of our
relationships with this premise that we have to protect ourselves. So even when I give
you the employee manual and say, 'It's great that you are at the company, we are so
happy that you are here' and sign this thing because we want to protect ourselves from
you, it becomes a different foundation that we build a relationship on. So when Zelle
and I first got together and had this odd, sort of, let's just choose today, about two
months into our relationship, we had a great conversation about how we wanted – our
ultimate goal, if it wasn't the normal way of doing things, was to be in a good place
with each other the rest of our lives. That was the goal. Whatever – we called the
relationship container was, this intimate relationship, whether that remained or not, our
ultimate goal was to be in this good place. And I went home that night and I said, okay,
I would have said that about just about anybody I have ever been in business with or
been in a relationship. Like why doesn't that work sometimes? And I decided that if we
built a different foundation and because we've been working, you know, looking at the
collaboration like especially like the neuro-science of collaboration, we really
understood that these relationships, they go through so many different paths of
possibilities and if we could just build a foundation that was really strong at the start,
maybe you don't have to fix what's broken down the line. Because I have this lung
disease, I actually only have 10% lung capacity left. I'm supposed to be on oxygen 24
hours a day, my doctors say that there's no reason why I'm still alive. It's now 17 years
past, I've lived longer than anyone else with this disease. So, if that's the case, how do I
keep living? They can't scientifically explain it and I think it's because through the
blueprint, I have built totally different foundations in my life. Our kids did their first
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 4 of 12
blueprint – we did it as a family when they were four and six years old. We do it with
all of our clients, all of our employees, suppliers, anyone that we are in a relationship
with, we are building a different foundation through this collaboration process. It
doesn't take a lot of time but it starts out at such a – like a strong adaptive resilient place
that no matter what the dance is between people, you are always coming back, you have
this document to actually get you back to that good place.
Zelle: I like the fact that you are having these conversations that matter on a couple of different
levels around why do I want to be in this, how are we going to interact with each other,
what does it look like, what does it look like on my bad day when I'm not going to be
able to function well –
Maureen: And not only what I look like on my worst day, here's what I need in the moment; I'm
going to tell you this now that I'm not gonna be able to ask for in fact, my behavior is
going to be the complete opposite of what I really needing in that moment. But if we
wrote this down ahead of time, if I tell you during a calm moment when I am creating
this document with you, then you actually have a chance to help pull me out of
whatever I'm going into because I've told you ahead of time what the keys are.
Zelle: And then we are also talking about expectations, like how are we going to get done what
we want to get done together.
Maureen: What are we – how are we going to measure it, by what time, at what cost, like all of
the specifics that often traditional legal contracts cover, the blueprint covers as well. In
fact there's a lot of attorneys and mediators around the world that are using it because it
has all of the things that a traditional contract can cover but there's also the relationship
and who the people are that are in the relationship that's part of this whole document.
Jerry: I think that two things come to mind as I hear this story. The first is the realization that – I
think you are absolutely right that when we enter into a relationship, whether it's
romantic or business partnership or even as we hire an employee, and this is going to
sound very Buddhist of me so forgive me 'cuz everything I do sounds either Buddhist
or Brooklyn. I'll usually either curse or quote the Buddha. But it made me realize that
not only is it do we enter this relationship from a foundation of fear, but we enter that
relationship with the expectation of it ending and trying to protect ourselves from the
pain of it ending. And so, if you think about even a traditional legal contract, 90% of
the content of that contract is about what happens when shit happens. Right?
Maureen: Yeah.
Zelle: Exactly.
Jerry: As opposed to saying, 'How do we craft a relationship so that I am not entering this
dialogue from a place of fear but entering from a place of hope and not hope that is
delusional?'
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 5 of 12
Maureen: Yeah, it's not crossing your fingers and hoping, it's actually what we call 'custom
designing' our – we often call the blueprint, 'Mindfulness meditation for relationships'.
How do I do mindfulness in an active form in the very relationships that are most key to
my work and to my life? It changes everything.
Jerry: That's beautiful. The other thing it reminds me of is, I often – when I start working with a
client, I often talk to them about one of my first, really successful partnerships and that
is with a deep friend named Fred Wilson who is a very famous venture capitalist. What
happened was, in 1996, I left one firm, he left another firm and we joined together and
I'll never forget one of the most conscious conversations that we ever had which came
from a place of pain and long before I had any non-violent communications training or
was even aware of mindful creation of relationships. It went something like this: I had
had such a painful experience in my previous partnership that I said something like,
'Hey listen, can we make a deal? And the deal goes like this; if I ever do anything that
pisses you off, could you just promise to tell me so that I'm not worrying and not trying
to figure out what's going on? Because when I think you are angry with me, I will
retreat.' And we made this deal and to this day, 20 years later, we are still friends and
we have had many disagreements and we've never had an argument.
Maureen: Yeah, that's exactly – that's a perfect explanation of [Inaudible 0:15:07]
Zelle: And really paying attention to when those, even the little things are up because if we can
catch it early, we can really get the message of what it's trying to tell us. Like there's
something in that space when I'm feeling stressed or tension or pain, I'm looking for
something. You understand that.
Maureen: We call it stress for clarity. Stress is not a bad thing, it's a messenger; so if I can stop
for a moment and figure out what the message it is trying to give me, one of the
statistics I love most about the brain is that the difference between our subconscious
and conscious mind, our conscious mind processes information at 2000 bits per second
and subconscious mind processes information at 11 million bits per second. I think my
conscious mind is running my life, all the things I say, do and think about, I'm crazy.
So, how do I pay attention – and they say though, that everything in the subconscious
mind is changeable, it's re-writable but you can only do it if you can get it from the
subconscious which means, I'm not even aware of it, to the working state of the
conscious mind. And the only way for me to really do that and change some of those
automatic habit loops and the wiring of the stories that I believe that are stressful is if I
pay attention to what pains me with stress. If he does something, if Zelle does
something that really drives me nuts, cool, it's pointing to something in my
subconscious that I've got a painful story around and I now have an experience to get
me to bring that up, make a change to the way I am thinking about it because I'm going
to use the blueprint to come back. It's also a great third party mediator tool so you can
come back and use it to get back to the place including using a tool like non-violent
communication; how do you take the tools you are already using and put them into the
document so you are really making use of them. But it has this ability to say, stress is
not my enemy. I don't need to – I know, for my body, I do not stress 24 hours a day. I
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 6 of 12
do not live in that kind of a world any more. I used to but I have leant now to clear
things out. It's the notion that if I went on a hike for five miles, and in mile one, I get a
stick in my shoe, I'm not gonna walk for five miles with a stick in my shoe. I'm gonna
stop and take it out. That's what I do with stress; I stop, I take a look at it, I use the
blueprint to have a conversation with the other person or people, we figure out what the
clarity is that we are looking for so that I can re-write this habit loop in my
subconscious mind to something that feels more peaceful and something that gives me
resilience and life.
Zelle: When we take that clarity and we build on it, like what is it that was calling out to us that
we either want more of? Was it more connection, is it more responsibility, like, what
are the pieces that will help us in our relationship and in our business or whatever we
are doing together?
Jerry: There seems to be a basic first step that's really a necessary component to this and what it
reminds me of is a phrase that we often use at Reboot which is the notion of radical
self-enquiry. You know, the formula that we work with is that practical skills
development plus radical self-enquiry plus peer support equals enhanced leadership and
greater resiliency.
Maureen: It's one of reasons there's actually different types of blueprints. There is also a
'Blueprint of ME' which is the relationship you have between you and that chatterbox in
your head that can either totally inspire you or spiral you down. That's the roommate
you have 24/7, it never moves out. That relationship is there every day, it's gonna be,
you can go on a vacation, it's still gonna come with you. So, how do you build that
relationship first and say, 'This inner relationship I have between me and myself, me
and my mind, has to be a healthy one, let me do that one first' was actually one of the
interesting things often when we are working with an executive team, we'll have them
all do the 'Blueprint of ME' first. Let me get right with that relationship before they do
the team document of the Blueprint of WE and then it starts feeding into it. I start
looking at that you know, radical self-enquiry, who am I, what do I want to bring to
this, what do I know, what am I good at in this dance of leader and follower where you
can be interchangeable in any given moment. This is not about I am a leader, you're a
follower every day. This is – this world today is moment by moment changing that. So
how do I know what dances do I know, when should I lead, when should I follow?
When I start looking inside for that knowledge and that strength and then I share it in
my Blueprint of WE, it's really powerful because it's what we call 'Collaborative
awareness'. We are all very familiar with self-awareness, you know, that's something
for the last 50 years is really progressed in our culture but now we are really crying out
for collaborative awareness because you can take a group of really brilliant self-aware
people to do something, why does it fall apart? Why is there all the stress? We haven't
learnt that collaborative awareness space partially because we don't know how to use
stress for clarity. We use stress to pull us back, to make us think we have to protect
ourselves, the fear gets involved – and I loved how you talked about, you know,
violence in the workplace because the violence in the workplace isn't between other
people and myself. It's between me and myself. Sometimes I'm the hardest person on
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 7 of 12
myself than anyone else. So how do I get that voice to calm down, how do I change my
subconscious autopilot from these thoughts that are very stressful and create something
calmer? Part of the way I do that is not just me looking into me but in collaborative
awareness space, I'm having other people help me look into me. I know so much about
myself not only because Zelle and I are married, but because we are co-founders of an
organization. There's whole sides of me that if we never worked together, I never would
have known about myself specifically because he saw that he helped bring them out or
he noticed something that someone else might not have.
Zelle: It is [Inaudible 0:21:06] it's really fascinating; she knows I'm upset before I do.
Maureen: We both do, yeah.
Zelle: It's really helpful to have someone say, hey wait a minute, why not take a look and to be
able to take that step back and to be able to figure out what's going on and then have a
conversation about what do we want to create and what's coming up because really, it's
amazing.
Jerry: You know, I think that, you know, if we are committed to doing our inner work whether
it's the Blueprint of ME, or the radical self-inquiry, or using those tools and by the way,
one of the questions I like to throw in there is, what kind of adult do I want to be
because often times, I'm not. But I had this aspirational view of what I'm going to be
when I'm a man, you know, when I grow up. If we do that, what I have found is that we
then create the space for the other to be able to come to us and say, 'Hey listen, you
have a smudge of dirt on your nose and you don’t even know it. You have a little piece
of spinach on your teeth' and it's very non-judgmental. It's like, 'Hey, I notice that there
is a furrowed brow going on.
Maureen: Right.
Jerry: Are you inquisitive, are you curious, are you stressed and by allowing that kind of
spaciousness, then what happens in the room and I've seen this now between co-
founders, what happens if two co-founders who often times start to replicate our family
of origin situations, someone's playing mommy, someone's playing daddy, often times
they flip back and forth then everybody else in the room, their inner system gets to calm
down because those two parental figures are starting to communicate with each other
like adults.
Maureen: Yeah, absolutely.
Jerry: And then the system starts to calm down and then I think that creates a space for
collaboration, true collaboration, which is, it's okay if I tell you, 'Zelle, you got a
smudge of dirt on your nose.' I'm not attacking you.
Maureen: I don’t mind that I have a smudge of dirt on my nose, I'm okay with that. It doesn't
mean that everything someone says to me about me is going to land us, 'Yeah, you're
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 8 of 12
absolutely right.' But if I take it in with any sort of stress, that's where I know there's a
message for clarity there, somewhere.
Jerry: Yeah.
Zelle: And I love the space where you're talking about, hey there's that smudge on my nose and
having a conversation ahead of time when we are in a calm space around how I want to
have that interaction with you; what are my conversations and what are my boundaries
around how I want to talk to when you notice that smudge. And I might, you know,
encourage a certain way for you to connect with me that can really help to move, keep
us in that calm, connected space where we have that curiosity conversation. It's 'What's
going on?' 'What's happening?' versus, 'What's wrong with you?'
Maureen: Yeah, there is a – that curiosity also allows space for experiments because I might say
to you, so how would you like me to tell you, you know, there's a smudge on your
nose? And you might say, I don’t know, I have no idea. So we might have a
conversation like well, maybe this, this, this, or this. All right, let's write that in our
blueprint and let's try that. Let's do an experiment for the next two weeks; if something
comes up, I'm gonna try one of these ways and then we have – the other part of the
blueprint is what we call 'Look-back learning'. It's sort of like post-game analysis. If I
tell you one of those ways, and you just like, 'That does not work at all', then a couple
of days later we look back and I say, 'Okay, so I told you you had a smudge on your
nose, that did not land well the way I said it. How could I have done it better?' Like,
should we try one of the other ways? Like how could it look or feel – or if you just need
to have your moment of, you know, intensity, but you took it in and we are going to
have a big conversation. Like, it's just really taking a look at what's – how it's working
and how we can be curious also using experiments.
Jerry: I love this. You know, one of the other premises that I've been working with lately and
that we really take to heart at Reboot is, not only is there an opportunity to reduce the
inherent violence that can occur and the violence to the self and the existential threat,
not only is it an opportunity to, sort of, for that self-exploration and then to sort of bring
a whole authentic self to that experience. But as I hear the two of you describe this
process from your 17 years of personal experience but also watching clients and
colleagues to through this, it connects me back to this other wish that I think is implicit
in so much that is there and that is that the promise of work not as this source of
drudgery, but as an opportunity for self-actualization. You mean, I don't just go to work
to earn a living? I go to work to grow and become a better human? What a radical
concept that is.
Maureen: And that that doesn't have to be hard work.
Jerry: Yes.
Maureen: Relationships have to be hard work or it's just one of the things that comes along with
it. I couldn't disagree more.
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 9 of 12
Zelle: It's a lot of fun and when I am allowing the best version of you to show up and you want
the best version of me to show up, that space is something where we build what we
want to create and we unleash our passion because as entrepreneurs, as founders of
organizations and places like that, we want to bring something into the world, whatever
it might be, to make something, you know, creative, something that we want to give
and when I can invite the best versions of all the people around me to be a part of that
process, that is life-giving and I want to be a part of that.
Jerry: That reminds me of something my friend and teacher and mentor, Parker Palmer writes
about. Parker talks about in his book, 'A Hidden Wholeness', he talks about the fact that
what we are seeking from work is really three things: we're seeking the ability to pay
our bills, we're seeking the ability to express our soul and we're seeking community.
And I think that this collaborative process that you've developed is one of the ways in
which that soul gets to come out and play in a safe way and we then form a community.
And so then work is no longer that dreadful obligation but it becomes a place for play,
of exploration.
Maureen: Yeah, truly. One of the other types of blueprints that we love using with our clients is
called the 'One-page introduction blueprint'. So an organization or even an individual,
you create a one-page version of Blueprint of WE from your perspective. So, your
organization, say if Reboot were to have a one page introduction, that piece of paper or
electronically goes out to every person you touch, whether it's a new client or it's a
supplier or whomever might be. The way you start every conversation is with this one-
page introduction which says, it's the same five components that are in every blueprint
which is the story of us, interaction styles and warning signs, expectations, questions
for peace and possibility and short and long term agreements. So, same five things but
it's really condensed to be this over-arching umbrella look at the organization and the
way we use that in the contracting process is if that goes out to a new client, if they
decide – if we decide we are going to work together, then we invite them to take 15-20
minutes, write their half of the same five components, then we merge that into one
document and that becomes our legal contract in essence. We even had attorneys for
major corporations say to people like, we are not going to do a traditional legal contract
anymore because this blueprint has so much more that it takes into consideration. I
mean, this even happened with one of our clients who uses a one-page introduction in
the UK, they were working – one of their clients is the largest insurance agency in the
United Kingdom and it was the attorney for the insurance agency that told HR, "We are
not putting a penalty clause in this contract because it will void the spirit of the
contract." So, there is something that happens when you start those conversations from
moment one with somebody and say, 'This is a different way of being together in
business and it's going to bring all of us to better work. We are getting more creative' –
we even look at the difference from the evolutionary perspective of the brain between
the safety brain and the connected brain. Our full culture, focuses on us developing
safety brain mechanisms. I love my safety brain, I hope it comes on when I need it in a
dark alley but I don't want that to be my go-to thing that I operate on every day. I now
have a mind that operates on joy; like joy is my autopilot. That comes up before stress
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 10 of 12
does and I can say that with all of my clients too because I start these conversations and
relationships from a very different perspective and they end up showing up in a very
different way as well.
Jerry: I appreciate that. You know, so many of our clients are young startups and in so many
instances, this is their – our clients, it's their first job; let alone their first leadership
position and one of the other sources of tremendous tension in a relationship is actually
the relationships that they have with their investors. And as you can imagine, it's a
fraught relationship because power is there and I have this, never-before-revealed secret
wish and that is, that a whole generation of venture capitalists who are providing the
means for people to realize their vision of changing the world, would start to
incorporate this kind of thinking into the documents that go along with the investments.
Maureen: Absolutely.
Jerry: Wouldn't that be grand?
Maureen: Yeah, it's really true.
Zelle: Definitely.
Jerry: And so instead of having a document that says, 'Let's plan for the worst, let's presume that
you are going to screw up as the CEO and you're going to have to get fired and I'm
going to have to step in' what if we had a document that said, 'Let's use the investment
process to grow as individuals regardless of whether or not the company succeeds'; that
would be so fun. Does that sound like something that would be possible?
Maureen: I could see it wholeheartedly.
Zelle: Yes, definitely.
Maureen: And that's the thing; it's not that work-intensive to create that. It's just the – people
don't know they have another option.
Jerry: That's right.
Maureen: Once you start knowing you have another option, like you'd much rather take that
road.
Jerry: Yeah, so some day, a couple of friends of mine and I are hoping to do a boot camp for
investors to talk about the process of being a board member and how to make that more
collaborative and so, you may be hearing from me again.
Maureen: There's definitely a lot of board's directors that are using it so –
Jerry: Yeah.
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 11 of 12
Maureen: – it works really well in that situation.
Zelle: Yeah, definitely.
Jerry: Well, thank you so much for taking the time to do this. This has been a great conversation
and I know that the folks who listen to the podcast are going to be excited about this.
We will have links and pointers to the information and I really want to encourage
people to reach out to you guys and your facilitators and see if there's additional ways
that we can sort of bring this work back into this small, little microcosm of business
that Reboot works so well with.
Maureen: I want to thank you just for the work you are doing in the world.
Zelle: Yes, absolutely Jerry.
Maureen: I appreciate it immensely. Thank you.
Jerry: Well, thank you, it – you know, many years ago, one of my teachers Ani Pema Chödrön
said to me that my karma is to sort of combine the business pragmatism with this kind
of weird spirituality and I love it when I can manage to bring those two worlds together.
It just makes me happy. Thank you guys, it's really, really a pleasure.
Zelle: Great thank you.
Maureen: Thanks.
Jerry: Take care.
So that's it for our conversation today. You know, a lot was covered in this episode from links, to
books, to quotes, to images. So, we went ahead and compiled all that and put it on our site at
Reboot.io/podcast. If you would like to be a guest on the show, you can find out about that on
our site as well. I'm really grateful that you took the time to listen. If you enjoyed the show and
you want to get all the latest episodes as we release them, head over to iTunes and subscribe and
while you're there, it would be great if you could leave us a review letting us know how the show
affected you. So, thank you again for listening and I really look forward to future conversations
together.
[Singing]
"How long till my soul gets it right?
Did any human being ever reach that kind of light?
I call on the resting soul of Galileo,
King of night-vision, King of insight."
Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships
Page 12 of 12
[End of audio 0:35:26]
[End of transcript]

Mais conteúdo relacionado

Mais procurados

Reboot Podcast #14 - Shadow and Leadership - with Parker Palmer and Jerry Col...
Reboot Podcast #14 - Shadow and Leadership - with Parker Palmer and Jerry Col...Reboot Podcast #14 - Shadow and Leadership - with Parker Palmer and Jerry Col...
Reboot Podcast #14 - Shadow and Leadership - with Parker Palmer and Jerry Col...rebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #10 - Fail with Honor - with Derek Bereit, Beth McKeon, & Jer...
Reboot Podcast #10 - Fail with Honor - with Derek Bereit, Beth McKeon, &  Jer...Reboot Podcast #10 - Fail with Honor - with Derek Bereit, Beth McKeon, &  Jer...
Reboot Podcast #10 - Fail with Honor - with Derek Bereit, Beth McKeon, & Jer...rebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #8 - How Introspection Changed My Business - With Blaine Vess ...
Reboot Podcast #8 - How Introspection Changed My Business - With Blaine Vess ...Reboot Podcast #8 - How Introspection Changed My Business - With Blaine Vess ...
Reboot Podcast #8 - How Introspection Changed My Business - With Blaine Vess ...rebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #19 Building a House of Belonging with Tanisha Robinson
Reboot Podcast #19 Building a House of Belonging with Tanisha RobinsonReboot Podcast #19 Building a House of Belonging with Tanisha Robinson
Reboot Podcast #19 Building a House of Belonging with Tanisha Robinsonrebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #15 - Becoming a Leader: The Crucible of Co-Founder Conflict w...
Reboot Podcast #15 - Becoming a Leader: The Crucible of Co-Founder Conflict w...Reboot Podcast #15 - Becoming a Leader: The Crucible of Co-Founder Conflict w...
Reboot Podcast #15 - Becoming a Leader: The Crucible of Co-Founder Conflict w...rebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #26 - Finding your Business Soulmate - Founders of The Grommet...
Reboot Podcast #26 - Finding your Business Soulmate - Founders of The Grommet...Reboot Podcast #26 - Finding your Business Soulmate - Founders of The Grommet...
Reboot Podcast #26 - Finding your Business Soulmate - Founders of The Grommet...rebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #20 with Bijan Sabet - Investors are Human too
Reboot Podcast #20 with Bijan Sabet - Investors are Human tooReboot Podcast #20 with Bijan Sabet - Investors are Human too
Reboot Podcast #20 with Bijan Sabet - Investors are Human toorebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #25 - Live Beyond Compare - Brad Feld and Jerry Colonna - Rebo...
Reboot Podcast #25 - Live Beyond Compare - Brad Feld and Jerry Colonna - Rebo...Reboot Podcast #25 - Live Beyond Compare - Brad Feld and Jerry Colonna - Rebo...
Reboot Podcast #25 - Live Beyond Compare - Brad Feld and Jerry Colonna - Rebo...rebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #24 with Hugh MacLeod
Reboot Podcast #24 with Hugh MacLeodReboot Podcast #24 with Hugh MacLeod
Reboot Podcast #24 with Hugh MacLeodrebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #28 - Reclaiming the Shadow - with Tracy Lawrence on Reboot Po...
Reboot Podcast #28 - Reclaiming the Shadow - with Tracy Lawrence on Reboot Po...Reboot Podcast #28 - Reclaiming the Shadow - with Tracy Lawrence on Reboot Po...
Reboot Podcast #28 - Reclaiming the Shadow - with Tracy Lawrence on Reboot Po...rebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #22 - Does Anyone Know what they are Doing? With Sharon Salzbe...
Reboot Podcast #22 - Does Anyone Know what they are Doing? With Sharon Salzbe...Reboot Podcast #22 - Does Anyone Know what they are Doing? With Sharon Salzbe...
Reboot Podcast #22 - Does Anyone Know what they are Doing? With Sharon Salzbe...rebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #12 - journey after_journey.mp3-transcription
Reboot Podcast #12 - journey after_journey.mp3-transcriptionReboot Podcast #12 - journey after_journey.mp3-transcription
Reboot Podcast #12 - journey after_journey.mp3-transcriptionrebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #9 - Investing in Trust - with Fred Wilson and Jerry Colonna
Reboot Podcast #9 - Investing in Trust - with Fred Wilson and Jerry ColonnaReboot Podcast #9 - Investing in Trust - with Fred Wilson and Jerry Colonna
Reboot Podcast #9 - Investing in Trust - with Fred Wilson and Jerry Colonnarebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #34 - Self actualization - with Henry May on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #34 - Self actualization - with Henry May on Reboot PodcastReboot Podcast #34 - Self actualization - with Henry May on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #34 - Self actualization - with Henry May on Reboot Podcastrebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #27 - From Caring Comes Courage - with Jerry Colonna on Reboot...
Reboot Podcast #27 - From Caring Comes Courage - with Jerry Colonna on Reboot...Reboot Podcast #27 - From Caring Comes Courage - with Jerry Colonna on Reboot...
Reboot Podcast #27 - From Caring Comes Courage - with Jerry Colonna on Reboot...rebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #11 - Stop and See: Mind Hacking, Meditation and Leadership - ...
Reboot Podcast #11 - Stop and See: Mind Hacking, Meditation and Leadership - ...Reboot Podcast #11 - Stop and See: Mind Hacking, Meditation and Leadership - ...
Reboot Podcast #11 - Stop and See: Mind Hacking, Meditation and Leadership - ...rebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #30 - Who Do You Turn To? - with Yancey Strickler and Ian Hogarth
Reboot Podcast #30 - Who Do You Turn To? - with Yancey Strickler and Ian HogarthReboot Podcast #30 - Who Do You Turn To? - with Yancey Strickler and Ian Hogarth
Reboot Podcast #30 - Who Do You Turn To? - with Yancey Strickler and Ian Hogarthrebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #39 - New Choices with Mary Lemmer on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #39 - New Choices with Mary Lemmer on Reboot PodcastReboot Podcast #39 - New Choices with Mary Lemmer on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #39 - New Choices with Mary Lemmer on Reboot Podcastrebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #32 - Invest in Being Yourself - with Bryce Roberts and Chris ...
Reboot Podcast #32 - Invest in Being Yourself - with Bryce Roberts and Chris ...Reboot Podcast #32 - Invest in Being Yourself - with Bryce Roberts and Chris ...
Reboot Podcast #32 - Invest in Being Yourself - with Bryce Roberts and Chris ...rebootio
 
Reboot Podcast #31 - Why Being Real Matters- with Evgeny Shadchnev
Reboot Podcast #31 - Why Being Real Matters- with Evgeny ShadchnevReboot Podcast #31 - Why Being Real Matters- with Evgeny Shadchnev
Reboot Podcast #31 - Why Being Real Matters- with Evgeny Shadchnevrebootio
 

Mais procurados (20)

Reboot Podcast #14 - Shadow and Leadership - with Parker Palmer and Jerry Col...
Reboot Podcast #14 - Shadow and Leadership - with Parker Palmer and Jerry Col...Reboot Podcast #14 - Shadow and Leadership - with Parker Palmer and Jerry Col...
Reboot Podcast #14 - Shadow and Leadership - with Parker Palmer and Jerry Col...
 
Reboot Podcast #10 - Fail with Honor - with Derek Bereit, Beth McKeon, & Jer...
Reboot Podcast #10 - Fail with Honor - with Derek Bereit, Beth McKeon, &  Jer...Reboot Podcast #10 - Fail with Honor - with Derek Bereit, Beth McKeon, &  Jer...
Reboot Podcast #10 - Fail with Honor - with Derek Bereit, Beth McKeon, & Jer...
 
Reboot Podcast #8 - How Introspection Changed My Business - With Blaine Vess ...
Reboot Podcast #8 - How Introspection Changed My Business - With Blaine Vess ...Reboot Podcast #8 - How Introspection Changed My Business - With Blaine Vess ...
Reboot Podcast #8 - How Introspection Changed My Business - With Blaine Vess ...
 
Reboot Podcast #19 Building a House of Belonging with Tanisha Robinson
Reboot Podcast #19 Building a House of Belonging with Tanisha RobinsonReboot Podcast #19 Building a House of Belonging with Tanisha Robinson
Reboot Podcast #19 Building a House of Belonging with Tanisha Robinson
 
Reboot Podcast #15 - Becoming a Leader: The Crucible of Co-Founder Conflict w...
Reboot Podcast #15 - Becoming a Leader: The Crucible of Co-Founder Conflict w...Reboot Podcast #15 - Becoming a Leader: The Crucible of Co-Founder Conflict w...
Reboot Podcast #15 - Becoming a Leader: The Crucible of Co-Founder Conflict w...
 
Reboot Podcast #26 - Finding your Business Soulmate - Founders of The Grommet...
Reboot Podcast #26 - Finding your Business Soulmate - Founders of The Grommet...Reboot Podcast #26 - Finding your Business Soulmate - Founders of The Grommet...
Reboot Podcast #26 - Finding your Business Soulmate - Founders of The Grommet...
 
Reboot Podcast #20 with Bijan Sabet - Investors are Human too
Reboot Podcast #20 with Bijan Sabet - Investors are Human tooReboot Podcast #20 with Bijan Sabet - Investors are Human too
Reboot Podcast #20 with Bijan Sabet - Investors are Human too
 
Reboot Podcast #25 - Live Beyond Compare - Brad Feld and Jerry Colonna - Rebo...
Reboot Podcast #25 - Live Beyond Compare - Brad Feld and Jerry Colonna - Rebo...Reboot Podcast #25 - Live Beyond Compare - Brad Feld and Jerry Colonna - Rebo...
Reboot Podcast #25 - Live Beyond Compare - Brad Feld and Jerry Colonna - Rebo...
 
Reboot Podcast #24 with Hugh MacLeod
Reboot Podcast #24 with Hugh MacLeodReboot Podcast #24 with Hugh MacLeod
Reboot Podcast #24 with Hugh MacLeod
 
Reboot Podcast #28 - Reclaiming the Shadow - with Tracy Lawrence on Reboot Po...
Reboot Podcast #28 - Reclaiming the Shadow - with Tracy Lawrence on Reboot Po...Reboot Podcast #28 - Reclaiming the Shadow - with Tracy Lawrence on Reboot Po...
Reboot Podcast #28 - Reclaiming the Shadow - with Tracy Lawrence on Reboot Po...
 
Reboot Podcast #22 - Does Anyone Know what they are Doing? With Sharon Salzbe...
Reboot Podcast #22 - Does Anyone Know what they are Doing? With Sharon Salzbe...Reboot Podcast #22 - Does Anyone Know what they are Doing? With Sharon Salzbe...
Reboot Podcast #22 - Does Anyone Know what they are Doing? With Sharon Salzbe...
 
Reboot Podcast #12 - journey after_journey.mp3-transcription
Reboot Podcast #12 - journey after_journey.mp3-transcriptionReboot Podcast #12 - journey after_journey.mp3-transcription
Reboot Podcast #12 - journey after_journey.mp3-transcription
 
Reboot Podcast #9 - Investing in Trust - with Fred Wilson and Jerry Colonna
Reboot Podcast #9 - Investing in Trust - with Fred Wilson and Jerry ColonnaReboot Podcast #9 - Investing in Trust - with Fred Wilson and Jerry Colonna
Reboot Podcast #9 - Investing in Trust - with Fred Wilson and Jerry Colonna
 
Reboot Podcast #34 - Self actualization - with Henry May on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #34 - Self actualization - with Henry May on Reboot PodcastReboot Podcast #34 - Self actualization - with Henry May on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #34 - Self actualization - with Henry May on Reboot Podcast
 
Reboot Podcast #27 - From Caring Comes Courage - with Jerry Colonna on Reboot...
Reboot Podcast #27 - From Caring Comes Courage - with Jerry Colonna on Reboot...Reboot Podcast #27 - From Caring Comes Courage - with Jerry Colonna on Reboot...
Reboot Podcast #27 - From Caring Comes Courage - with Jerry Colonna on Reboot...
 
Reboot Podcast #11 - Stop and See: Mind Hacking, Meditation and Leadership - ...
Reboot Podcast #11 - Stop and See: Mind Hacking, Meditation and Leadership - ...Reboot Podcast #11 - Stop and See: Mind Hacking, Meditation and Leadership - ...
Reboot Podcast #11 - Stop and See: Mind Hacking, Meditation and Leadership - ...
 
Reboot Podcast #30 - Who Do You Turn To? - with Yancey Strickler and Ian Hogarth
Reboot Podcast #30 - Who Do You Turn To? - with Yancey Strickler and Ian HogarthReboot Podcast #30 - Who Do You Turn To? - with Yancey Strickler and Ian Hogarth
Reboot Podcast #30 - Who Do You Turn To? - with Yancey Strickler and Ian Hogarth
 
Reboot Podcast #39 - New Choices with Mary Lemmer on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #39 - New Choices with Mary Lemmer on Reboot PodcastReboot Podcast #39 - New Choices with Mary Lemmer on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #39 - New Choices with Mary Lemmer on Reboot Podcast
 
Reboot Podcast #32 - Invest in Being Yourself - with Bryce Roberts and Chris ...
Reboot Podcast #32 - Invest in Being Yourself - with Bryce Roberts and Chris ...Reboot Podcast #32 - Invest in Being Yourself - with Bryce Roberts and Chris ...
Reboot Podcast #32 - Invest in Being Yourself - with Bryce Roberts and Chris ...
 
Reboot Podcast #31 - Why Being Real Matters- with Evgeny Shadchnev
Reboot Podcast #31 - Why Being Real Matters- with Evgeny ShadchnevReboot Podcast #31 - Why Being Real Matters- with Evgeny Shadchnev
Reboot Podcast #31 - Why Being Real Matters- with Evgeny Shadchnev
 

Semelhante a Mindfulness in Relationships: The Blueprint of WE

Edgetalks Transcript 3 February 2017, Democracy, Freedom and Work – Enabling ...
Edgetalks Transcript 3 February 2017, Democracy, Freedom and Work – Enabling ...Edgetalks Transcript 3 February 2017, Democracy, Freedom and Work – Enabling ...
Edgetalks Transcript 3 February 2017, Democracy, Freedom and Work – Enabling ...Horizons NHS
 
Transcript EdgeTalks 8 September – Radical redesign and disruption – the next...
Transcript EdgeTalks 8 September – Radical redesign and disruption – the next...Transcript EdgeTalks 8 September – Radical redesign and disruption – the next...
Transcript EdgeTalks 8 September – Radical redesign and disruption – the next...NHS Horizons
 
From ex-con to excellence: An interview with Clint Warren
 From ex-con to excellence: An interview with Clint Warren From ex-con to excellence: An interview with Clint Warren
From ex-con to excellence: An interview with Clint WarrenA Better Life with Rachel Rofe
 
Relationships, Inefficiency and Your Career
Relationships, Inefficiency and Your CareerRelationships, Inefficiency and Your Career
Relationships, Inefficiency and Your CareerEmployment Crossing
 
SCRIPT-a-PALOOZA transcript
SCRIPT-a-PALOOZA transcript SCRIPT-a-PALOOZA transcript
SCRIPT-a-PALOOZA transcript Mortgage Coach
 
Reboot Podcast #40 - Going beyond blame with Dave Zwieback on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #40 - Going beyond blame with Dave Zwieback on Reboot PodcastReboot Podcast #40 - Going beyond blame with Dave Zwieback on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #40 - Going beyond blame with Dave Zwieback on Reboot Podcastrebootio
 
1 hour to Relationship WOW!
1 hour to Relationship WOW!1 hour to Relationship WOW!
1 hour to Relationship WOW!Shlomo Slatkin
 
Reboot Podcast #43 – The Dharma of Inclusivity – with Konda Mason
Reboot Podcast #43 – The Dharma of Inclusivity – with Konda MasonReboot Podcast #43 – The Dharma of Inclusivity – with Konda Mason
Reboot Podcast #43 – The Dharma of Inclusivity – with Konda Masonrebootio
 
Do Not Be Influenced by Others' Negative Opinions of You
Do Not Be Influenced by Others' Negative Opinions of YouDo Not Be Influenced by Others' Negative Opinions of You
Do Not Be Influenced by Others' Negative Opinions of YouEmployment Crossing
 
Do Not Create Too Many Rules | Too many rules hold you back
Do Not Create Too Many Rules | Too many rules hold you backDo Not Create Too Many Rules | Too many rules hold you back
Do Not Create Too Many Rules | Too many rules hold you backEmployment Crossing
 
Joe Pepe of Planet Fitness, A Mentor to Many
Joe Pepe of Planet Fitness, A Mentor to ManyJoe Pepe of Planet Fitness, A Mentor to Many
Joe Pepe of Planet Fitness, A Mentor to ManyMatthew Pepe
 
Planet Fitness Franchisee Joe Pepe: A Mentor to Many
Planet Fitness Franchisee Joe Pepe: A Mentor to ManyPlanet Fitness Franchisee Joe Pepe: A Mentor to Many
Planet Fitness Franchisee Joe Pepe: A Mentor to ManyJoseph Pepe
 
4 Days To A Forever Marriage
4 Days To A Forever Marriage  4 Days To A Forever Marriage
4 Days To A Forever Marriage Ding Emang
 
We met online over five years ago and started a relationship t.docx
We met online over five years ago and started a relationship t.docxWe met online over five years ago and started a relationship t.docx
We met online over five years ago and started a relationship t.docxcelenarouzie
 
Mlb Launch Book Join my Team NOW
Mlb Launch Book Join my Team NOWMlb Launch Book Join my Team NOW
Mlb Launch Book Join my Team NOWClaudio Suarez
 

Semelhante a Mindfulness in Relationships: The Blueprint of WE (17)

Edgetalks Transcript 3 February 2017, Democracy, Freedom and Work – Enabling ...
Edgetalks Transcript 3 February 2017, Democracy, Freedom and Work – Enabling ...Edgetalks Transcript 3 February 2017, Democracy, Freedom and Work – Enabling ...
Edgetalks Transcript 3 February 2017, Democracy, Freedom and Work – Enabling ...
 
Transcript EdgeTalks 8 September – Radical redesign and disruption – the next...
Transcript EdgeTalks 8 September – Radical redesign and disruption – the next...Transcript EdgeTalks 8 September – Radical redesign and disruption – the next...
Transcript EdgeTalks 8 September – Radical redesign and disruption – the next...
 
From ex-con to excellence: An interview with Clint Warren
 From ex-con to excellence: An interview with Clint Warren From ex-con to excellence: An interview with Clint Warren
From ex-con to excellence: An interview with Clint Warren
 
Relationships, Inefficiency and Your Career
Relationships, Inefficiency and Your CareerRelationships, Inefficiency and Your Career
Relationships, Inefficiency and Your Career
 
SCRIPT-a-PALOOZA transcript
SCRIPT-a-PALOOZA transcript SCRIPT-a-PALOOZA transcript
SCRIPT-a-PALOOZA transcript
 
session info
session infosession info
session info
 
Reboot Podcast #40 - Going beyond blame with Dave Zwieback on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #40 - Going beyond blame with Dave Zwieback on Reboot PodcastReboot Podcast #40 - Going beyond blame with Dave Zwieback on Reboot Podcast
Reboot Podcast #40 - Going beyond blame with Dave Zwieback on Reboot Podcast
 
1 hour to Relationship WOW!
1 hour to Relationship WOW!1 hour to Relationship WOW!
1 hour to Relationship WOW!
 
IN/Out Times
IN/Out TimesIN/Out Times
IN/Out Times
 
Reboot Podcast #43 – The Dharma of Inclusivity – with Konda Mason
Reboot Podcast #43 – The Dharma of Inclusivity – with Konda MasonReboot Podcast #43 – The Dharma of Inclusivity – with Konda Mason
Reboot Podcast #43 – The Dharma of Inclusivity – with Konda Mason
 
Do Not Be Influenced by Others' Negative Opinions of You
Do Not Be Influenced by Others' Negative Opinions of YouDo Not Be Influenced by Others' Negative Opinions of You
Do Not Be Influenced by Others' Negative Opinions of You
 
Do Not Create Too Many Rules | Too many rules hold you back
Do Not Create Too Many Rules | Too many rules hold you backDo Not Create Too Many Rules | Too many rules hold you back
Do Not Create Too Many Rules | Too many rules hold you back
 
Joe Pepe of Planet Fitness, A Mentor to Many
Joe Pepe of Planet Fitness, A Mentor to ManyJoe Pepe of Planet Fitness, A Mentor to Many
Joe Pepe of Planet Fitness, A Mentor to Many
 
Planet Fitness Franchisee Joe Pepe: A Mentor to Many
Planet Fitness Franchisee Joe Pepe: A Mentor to ManyPlanet Fitness Franchisee Joe Pepe: A Mentor to Many
Planet Fitness Franchisee Joe Pepe: A Mentor to Many
 
4 Days To A Forever Marriage
4 Days To A Forever Marriage  4 Days To A Forever Marriage
4 Days To A Forever Marriage
 
We met online over five years ago and started a relationship t.docx
We met online over five years ago and started a relationship t.docxWe met online over five years ago and started a relationship t.docx
We met online over five years ago and started a relationship t.docx
 
Mlb Launch Book Join my Team NOW
Mlb Launch Book Join my Team NOWMlb Launch Book Join my Team NOW
Mlb Launch Book Join my Team NOW
 

Último

GD Birla and his contribution in management
GD Birla and his contribution in managementGD Birla and his contribution in management
GD Birla and his contribution in managementchhavia330
 
Monte Carlo simulation : Simulation using MCSM
Monte Carlo simulation : Simulation using MCSMMonte Carlo simulation : Simulation using MCSM
Monte Carlo simulation : Simulation using MCSMRavindra Nath Shukla
 
Mysore Call Girls 8617370543 WhatsApp Number 24x7 Best Services
Mysore Call Girls 8617370543 WhatsApp Number 24x7 Best ServicesMysore Call Girls 8617370543 WhatsApp Number 24x7 Best Services
Mysore Call Girls 8617370543 WhatsApp Number 24x7 Best ServicesDipal Arora
 
VIP Call Girls In Saharaganj ( Lucknow ) 🔝 8923113531 🔝 Cash Payment (COD) 👒
VIP Call Girls In Saharaganj ( Lucknow  ) 🔝 8923113531 🔝  Cash Payment (COD) 👒VIP Call Girls In Saharaganj ( Lucknow  ) 🔝 8923113531 🔝  Cash Payment (COD) 👒
VIP Call Girls In Saharaganj ( Lucknow ) 🔝 8923113531 🔝 Cash Payment (COD) 👒anilsa9823
 
Enhancing and Restoring Safety & Quality Cultures - Dave Litwiller - May 2024...
Enhancing and Restoring Safety & Quality Cultures - Dave Litwiller - May 2024...Enhancing and Restoring Safety & Quality Cultures - Dave Litwiller - May 2024...
Enhancing and Restoring Safety & Quality Cultures - Dave Litwiller - May 2024...Dave Litwiller
 
The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf(CBTL), Business strategy case study
The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf(CBTL), Business strategy case studyThe Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf(CBTL), Business strategy case study
The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf(CBTL), Business strategy case studyEthan lee
 
Grateful 7 speech thanking everyone that has helped.pdf
Grateful 7 speech thanking everyone that has helped.pdfGrateful 7 speech thanking everyone that has helped.pdf
Grateful 7 speech thanking everyone that has helped.pdfPaul Menig
 
Keppel Ltd. 1Q 2024 Business Update Presentation Slides
Keppel Ltd. 1Q 2024 Business Update  Presentation SlidesKeppel Ltd. 1Q 2024 Business Update  Presentation Slides
Keppel Ltd. 1Q 2024 Business Update Presentation SlidesKeppelCorporation
 
M.C Lodges -- Guest House in Jhang.
M.C Lodges --  Guest House in Jhang.M.C Lodges --  Guest House in Jhang.
M.C Lodges -- Guest House in Jhang.Aaiza Hassan
 
Best VIP Call Girls Noida Sector 40 Call Me: 8448380779
Best VIP Call Girls Noida Sector 40 Call Me: 8448380779Best VIP Call Girls Noida Sector 40 Call Me: 8448380779
Best VIP Call Girls Noida Sector 40 Call Me: 8448380779Delhi Call girls
 
Cash Payment 9602870969 Escort Service in Udaipur Call Girls
Cash Payment 9602870969 Escort Service in Udaipur Call GirlsCash Payment 9602870969 Escort Service in Udaipur Call Girls
Cash Payment 9602870969 Escort Service in Udaipur Call GirlsApsara Of India
 
Russian Faridabad Call Girls(Badarpur) : ☎ 8168257667, @4999
Russian Faridabad Call Girls(Badarpur) : ☎ 8168257667, @4999Russian Faridabad Call Girls(Badarpur) : ☎ 8168257667, @4999
Russian Faridabad Call Girls(Badarpur) : ☎ 8168257667, @4999Tina Ji
 
Monthly Social Media Update April 2024 pptx.pptx
Monthly Social Media Update April 2024 pptx.pptxMonthly Social Media Update April 2024 pptx.pptx
Monthly Social Media Update April 2024 pptx.pptxAndy Lambert
 
RE Capital's Visionary Leadership under Newman Leech
RE Capital's Visionary Leadership under Newman LeechRE Capital's Visionary Leadership under Newman Leech
RE Capital's Visionary Leadership under Newman LeechNewman George Leech
 
Pharma Works Profile of Karan Communications
Pharma Works Profile of Karan CommunicationsPharma Works Profile of Karan Communications
Pharma Works Profile of Karan Communicationskarancommunications
 
DEPED Work From Home WORKWEEK-PLAN.docx
DEPED Work From Home  WORKWEEK-PLAN.docxDEPED Work From Home  WORKWEEK-PLAN.docx
DEPED Work From Home WORKWEEK-PLAN.docxRodelinaLaud
 
Eni 2024 1Q Results - 24.04.24 business.
Eni 2024 1Q Results - 24.04.24 business.Eni 2024 1Q Results - 24.04.24 business.
Eni 2024 1Q Results - 24.04.24 business.Eni
 
VIP Kolkata Call Girl Howrah 👉 8250192130 Available With Room
VIP Kolkata Call Girl Howrah 👉 8250192130  Available With RoomVIP Kolkata Call Girl Howrah 👉 8250192130  Available With Room
VIP Kolkata Call Girl Howrah 👉 8250192130 Available With Roomdivyansh0kumar0
 
It will be International Nurses' Day on 12 May
It will be International Nurses' Day on 12 MayIt will be International Nurses' Day on 12 May
It will be International Nurses' Day on 12 MayNZSG
 
Mondelez State of Snacking and Future Trends 2023
Mondelez State of Snacking and Future Trends 2023Mondelez State of Snacking and Future Trends 2023
Mondelez State of Snacking and Future Trends 2023Neil Kimberley
 

Último (20)

GD Birla and his contribution in management
GD Birla and his contribution in managementGD Birla and his contribution in management
GD Birla and his contribution in management
 
Monte Carlo simulation : Simulation using MCSM
Monte Carlo simulation : Simulation using MCSMMonte Carlo simulation : Simulation using MCSM
Monte Carlo simulation : Simulation using MCSM
 
Mysore Call Girls 8617370543 WhatsApp Number 24x7 Best Services
Mysore Call Girls 8617370543 WhatsApp Number 24x7 Best ServicesMysore Call Girls 8617370543 WhatsApp Number 24x7 Best Services
Mysore Call Girls 8617370543 WhatsApp Number 24x7 Best Services
 
VIP Call Girls In Saharaganj ( Lucknow ) 🔝 8923113531 🔝 Cash Payment (COD) 👒
VIP Call Girls In Saharaganj ( Lucknow  ) 🔝 8923113531 🔝  Cash Payment (COD) 👒VIP Call Girls In Saharaganj ( Lucknow  ) 🔝 8923113531 🔝  Cash Payment (COD) 👒
VIP Call Girls In Saharaganj ( Lucknow ) 🔝 8923113531 🔝 Cash Payment (COD) 👒
 
Enhancing and Restoring Safety & Quality Cultures - Dave Litwiller - May 2024...
Enhancing and Restoring Safety & Quality Cultures - Dave Litwiller - May 2024...Enhancing and Restoring Safety & Quality Cultures - Dave Litwiller - May 2024...
Enhancing and Restoring Safety & Quality Cultures - Dave Litwiller - May 2024...
 
The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf(CBTL), Business strategy case study
The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf(CBTL), Business strategy case studyThe Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf(CBTL), Business strategy case study
The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf(CBTL), Business strategy case study
 
Grateful 7 speech thanking everyone that has helped.pdf
Grateful 7 speech thanking everyone that has helped.pdfGrateful 7 speech thanking everyone that has helped.pdf
Grateful 7 speech thanking everyone that has helped.pdf
 
Keppel Ltd. 1Q 2024 Business Update Presentation Slides
Keppel Ltd. 1Q 2024 Business Update  Presentation SlidesKeppel Ltd. 1Q 2024 Business Update  Presentation Slides
Keppel Ltd. 1Q 2024 Business Update Presentation Slides
 
M.C Lodges -- Guest House in Jhang.
M.C Lodges --  Guest House in Jhang.M.C Lodges --  Guest House in Jhang.
M.C Lodges -- Guest House in Jhang.
 
Best VIP Call Girls Noida Sector 40 Call Me: 8448380779
Best VIP Call Girls Noida Sector 40 Call Me: 8448380779Best VIP Call Girls Noida Sector 40 Call Me: 8448380779
Best VIP Call Girls Noida Sector 40 Call Me: 8448380779
 
Cash Payment 9602870969 Escort Service in Udaipur Call Girls
Cash Payment 9602870969 Escort Service in Udaipur Call GirlsCash Payment 9602870969 Escort Service in Udaipur Call Girls
Cash Payment 9602870969 Escort Service in Udaipur Call Girls
 
Russian Faridabad Call Girls(Badarpur) : ☎ 8168257667, @4999
Russian Faridabad Call Girls(Badarpur) : ☎ 8168257667, @4999Russian Faridabad Call Girls(Badarpur) : ☎ 8168257667, @4999
Russian Faridabad Call Girls(Badarpur) : ☎ 8168257667, @4999
 
Monthly Social Media Update April 2024 pptx.pptx
Monthly Social Media Update April 2024 pptx.pptxMonthly Social Media Update April 2024 pptx.pptx
Monthly Social Media Update April 2024 pptx.pptx
 
RE Capital's Visionary Leadership under Newman Leech
RE Capital's Visionary Leadership under Newman LeechRE Capital's Visionary Leadership under Newman Leech
RE Capital's Visionary Leadership under Newman Leech
 
Pharma Works Profile of Karan Communications
Pharma Works Profile of Karan CommunicationsPharma Works Profile of Karan Communications
Pharma Works Profile of Karan Communications
 
DEPED Work From Home WORKWEEK-PLAN.docx
DEPED Work From Home  WORKWEEK-PLAN.docxDEPED Work From Home  WORKWEEK-PLAN.docx
DEPED Work From Home WORKWEEK-PLAN.docx
 
Eni 2024 1Q Results - 24.04.24 business.
Eni 2024 1Q Results - 24.04.24 business.Eni 2024 1Q Results - 24.04.24 business.
Eni 2024 1Q Results - 24.04.24 business.
 
VIP Kolkata Call Girl Howrah 👉 8250192130 Available With Room
VIP Kolkata Call Girl Howrah 👉 8250192130  Available With RoomVIP Kolkata Call Girl Howrah 👉 8250192130  Available With Room
VIP Kolkata Call Girl Howrah 👉 8250192130 Available With Room
 
It will be International Nurses' Day on 12 May
It will be International Nurses' Day on 12 MayIt will be International Nurses' Day on 12 May
It will be International Nurses' Day on 12 May
 
Mondelez State of Snacking and Future Trends 2023
Mondelez State of Snacking and Future Trends 2023Mondelez State of Snacking and Future Trends 2023
Mondelez State of Snacking and Future Trends 2023
 

Mindfulness in Relationships: The Blueprint of WE

  • 1. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 1 of 12 Welcome to the Reboot podcast. Before we start today's episode, I wanted to take a moment and introduce you to our new sponsor, Justworks. Justworks is awesome; they help businesses take care of their benefits, payroll, HR. They do it all so seamlessly, easily, automatically and we know they are awesome because we use them. The Reboot podcast is really more than just Jerry and guests; it takes a whole team to put it together and Justworks makes it easy to support that team. We wanted to take this opportunity with this new sponsorship to introduce you to some of the amazing people who help make the amazing podcast happen. Charles: "Hi, I'm Charles Gammill, I am a freelance podcast producer and audio engineer and I'm an assistant producer on the Reboot podcast. So, Jerry will record his conversations and you just never know what the Skype connection is going to sound like; so I edit out a lot of clicks and pops, background noises, as best as I can and then I put that audio into a template that has the music, your voiceover. So that's basically what I do, it's post production on the audio. Dan: So Charles, do you want to talk about how we came to make this Ad? Charles: Yeah, so we were talking about all the different angles we could take, it struck me how much more difficult it's been to record this than it's ever been to use Justworks and it reminded when Ali was getting everything set up for – how to pay me. So she sent me this link to Justworks and I went and signed into it and like two or three minutes later, I was done and I was like, 'Is that all there is to it?' And so, I had a meeting with Ali a few days later and I put on the agenda specifically to ask her, did I do Justworks right, because it seemed too simple 'cuz yeah, all I had to was fill in my – how I wanted to get paid and it was done. Dan: And I'm not joking when I say, setting up Justworks to set up our payroll, our benefits, our insurance actually took less time that it took for Charles to describe it. And we use Justworks; we're so grateful for their support to this podcast and to learn more about how they could work for you, go to Reboot.io/justworks. "It is in the space between inner and outer world which is also the space between people, the transitional space that intimate relationships and creativity occur." That quote is from DW Winnicott. When Jerry and Fred Wilson first came together to form Flatiron Partners in 1996, they made a partnership agreement that still stands today. It wasn't a legal deal although I'm sure they made many of those, but rather an agreement on how they would work and be together. Jerry, coming from a painful previous work experience suggested to Fred, "If I ever do anything to you that pisses you off, can you just tell me so I'm not trying to figure it out or I'm worried about it? Because if you don't tell me, then I'll retreat." Fred agreed and their partnership was extremely effective and 20 years later, their friendship is still strong. What if your agreements with partners and co-workers were more focused on the characteristics of how you come together related to one another and work together instead of what happens when shit hits the fan. Zelle Nelson and Maureen McCarthy are co-founders of the Center for Collaborative Awareness and our guests for today's conversation. They have created a collaborative process called the Blueprint of WE which is used to build and sustain healthier, a more resilient business and personal relationships those that start from a place of hope and
  • 2. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 2 of 12 openness. They join Jerry to share how they came together, how the process works and how this can impact your relationships and your organization. Enjoy the conversation. Jerry Colonna: Good morning guys, thanks so much for joining us and today we have this very special edition of the Reboot podcast where we are going to be diving deep on the issue of co-founder conflict. And with me today, we have, if you can introduce yourselves that would be great. Zelle Nelson: I'm Zelle Nelson. Maureen McCarthy: And I'm Maureen McCarthy and we are the co-founders of the Center for and we created a collaboration process called the Blueprint of WE. Jerry: That's great, thank you so much for that and we at Reboot are really looking at the question of the relationship between co-founders and not even just co-founders but really colleagues in the office. You know, there's a line that I use which is that what I'm really about, whether it was originally in my coaching practice or now with my colleagues and friends at Reboot, what we are really about is trying to induce kind of a revolution in the corporate world which is to reduce the violence. And I use that term with respecting the physical violence that exists in the world while simultaneously honoring the kind of violence that gets perpetrated on people when their sense of self is diminished in the office, in the workplace. And what I – and so we talk about building non-violent workplaces and one of the biggest sources of tension and challenge are those interpersonal relationships in the office. I often joke and I quote very poorly, Jean-Paul Sartre, who said that hell is other people and, you know, when I first came across the Blueprint of WE, which was through the work I have done through BayNVC or Bay Non-violent Communications and specifically the brilliant work of Mickey Cashton, I immediately began thinking about ways that this might be applied to the kinds of relationships that we as coaches run into. And so, I thought it would be good if we could take a few moments to really sort of understand what the blueprint is all about and my first question is, how did you guys hit upon this as a structure, as a model? Maureen: Yeah, it was actually kind of by chance; it was almost 17 years ago now, Zelle and I met and started first knowing each other in a personal relationship and started dating and it happened to be the year I have a very rare, fatal, lung disease and I was told that year that that's as long as people live, you know, you will die by this year. So when I met him, there was no expectation of some long-term future and the picket fence and the house and all the kinds of things that you are supposed to have in a relationship. Zelle had just come out of a relationship – Zelle: I had been in love with this woman who moved back to Sweden and the relationship ended and I was in a not-so-great place – Maureen: And he even said to me on our second date, 'Hey, if she ever comes knocking on the door, just know that I'm out of here' which was fine.
  • 3. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 3 of 12 Jerry: What an amazing start. Maureen: Which was fine at the time because I said, we were in a restaurant and I said, 'Is she here tonight?' And he said, 'No, she's in Sweden.' And I said, 'Well, I'm going to be dead before she comes knocking on the door so, I hope she comes back to you. Like that would be incredibly – like, good luck with that. I think that's cool.' Zelle: That has absolutely changed, I am so much more like connected and in love than I have ever been – Maureen: Yeah, it's so true. Zelle: – and yet, at the time, we were – neither of us were expecting this relationship to be anything more than what we were doing in this moment, right now. Maureen: We weren't measuring up against forever which I think we do in both business and personal relationships. We measure someone up against forever, we decide whether they think they can measure up for the rest of our lives and then we start – our mind starts slowly playing around with the things that we think work and the things we need to change and what doesn't work about them. And we engage a whole set of neural pathways around – it's a subconscious dance of protecting ourselves, of safety, of like how can I be in a relationship with this person and protect myself from the things that I don't think work for me? And it's kind of a crazy start when you think about it. Even in a business situation, whether it's an employee manual or a contract, we start all of our relationships with this premise that we have to protect ourselves. So even when I give you the employee manual and say, 'It's great that you are at the company, we are so happy that you are here' and sign this thing because we want to protect ourselves from you, it becomes a different foundation that we build a relationship on. So when Zelle and I first got together and had this odd, sort of, let's just choose today, about two months into our relationship, we had a great conversation about how we wanted – our ultimate goal, if it wasn't the normal way of doing things, was to be in a good place with each other the rest of our lives. That was the goal. Whatever – we called the relationship container was, this intimate relationship, whether that remained or not, our ultimate goal was to be in this good place. And I went home that night and I said, okay, I would have said that about just about anybody I have ever been in business with or been in a relationship. Like why doesn't that work sometimes? And I decided that if we built a different foundation and because we've been working, you know, looking at the collaboration like especially like the neuro-science of collaboration, we really understood that these relationships, they go through so many different paths of possibilities and if we could just build a foundation that was really strong at the start, maybe you don't have to fix what's broken down the line. Because I have this lung disease, I actually only have 10% lung capacity left. I'm supposed to be on oxygen 24 hours a day, my doctors say that there's no reason why I'm still alive. It's now 17 years past, I've lived longer than anyone else with this disease. So, if that's the case, how do I keep living? They can't scientifically explain it and I think it's because through the blueprint, I have built totally different foundations in my life. Our kids did their first
  • 4. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 4 of 12 blueprint – we did it as a family when they were four and six years old. We do it with all of our clients, all of our employees, suppliers, anyone that we are in a relationship with, we are building a different foundation through this collaboration process. It doesn't take a lot of time but it starts out at such a – like a strong adaptive resilient place that no matter what the dance is between people, you are always coming back, you have this document to actually get you back to that good place. Zelle: I like the fact that you are having these conversations that matter on a couple of different levels around why do I want to be in this, how are we going to interact with each other, what does it look like, what does it look like on my bad day when I'm not going to be able to function well – Maureen: And not only what I look like on my worst day, here's what I need in the moment; I'm going to tell you this now that I'm not gonna be able to ask for in fact, my behavior is going to be the complete opposite of what I really needing in that moment. But if we wrote this down ahead of time, if I tell you during a calm moment when I am creating this document with you, then you actually have a chance to help pull me out of whatever I'm going into because I've told you ahead of time what the keys are. Zelle: And then we are also talking about expectations, like how are we going to get done what we want to get done together. Maureen: What are we – how are we going to measure it, by what time, at what cost, like all of the specifics that often traditional legal contracts cover, the blueprint covers as well. In fact there's a lot of attorneys and mediators around the world that are using it because it has all of the things that a traditional contract can cover but there's also the relationship and who the people are that are in the relationship that's part of this whole document. Jerry: I think that two things come to mind as I hear this story. The first is the realization that – I think you are absolutely right that when we enter into a relationship, whether it's romantic or business partnership or even as we hire an employee, and this is going to sound very Buddhist of me so forgive me 'cuz everything I do sounds either Buddhist or Brooklyn. I'll usually either curse or quote the Buddha. But it made me realize that not only is it do we enter this relationship from a foundation of fear, but we enter that relationship with the expectation of it ending and trying to protect ourselves from the pain of it ending. And so, if you think about even a traditional legal contract, 90% of the content of that contract is about what happens when shit happens. Right? Maureen: Yeah. Zelle: Exactly. Jerry: As opposed to saying, 'How do we craft a relationship so that I am not entering this dialogue from a place of fear but entering from a place of hope and not hope that is delusional?'
  • 5. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 5 of 12 Maureen: Yeah, it's not crossing your fingers and hoping, it's actually what we call 'custom designing' our – we often call the blueprint, 'Mindfulness meditation for relationships'. How do I do mindfulness in an active form in the very relationships that are most key to my work and to my life? It changes everything. Jerry: That's beautiful. The other thing it reminds me of is, I often – when I start working with a client, I often talk to them about one of my first, really successful partnerships and that is with a deep friend named Fred Wilson who is a very famous venture capitalist. What happened was, in 1996, I left one firm, he left another firm and we joined together and I'll never forget one of the most conscious conversations that we ever had which came from a place of pain and long before I had any non-violent communications training or was even aware of mindful creation of relationships. It went something like this: I had had such a painful experience in my previous partnership that I said something like, 'Hey listen, can we make a deal? And the deal goes like this; if I ever do anything that pisses you off, could you just promise to tell me so that I'm not worrying and not trying to figure out what's going on? Because when I think you are angry with me, I will retreat.' And we made this deal and to this day, 20 years later, we are still friends and we have had many disagreements and we've never had an argument. Maureen: Yeah, that's exactly – that's a perfect explanation of [Inaudible 0:15:07] Zelle: And really paying attention to when those, even the little things are up because if we can catch it early, we can really get the message of what it's trying to tell us. Like there's something in that space when I'm feeling stressed or tension or pain, I'm looking for something. You understand that. Maureen: We call it stress for clarity. Stress is not a bad thing, it's a messenger; so if I can stop for a moment and figure out what the message it is trying to give me, one of the statistics I love most about the brain is that the difference between our subconscious and conscious mind, our conscious mind processes information at 2000 bits per second and subconscious mind processes information at 11 million bits per second. I think my conscious mind is running my life, all the things I say, do and think about, I'm crazy. So, how do I pay attention – and they say though, that everything in the subconscious mind is changeable, it's re-writable but you can only do it if you can get it from the subconscious which means, I'm not even aware of it, to the working state of the conscious mind. And the only way for me to really do that and change some of those automatic habit loops and the wiring of the stories that I believe that are stressful is if I pay attention to what pains me with stress. If he does something, if Zelle does something that really drives me nuts, cool, it's pointing to something in my subconscious that I've got a painful story around and I now have an experience to get me to bring that up, make a change to the way I am thinking about it because I'm going to use the blueprint to come back. It's also a great third party mediator tool so you can come back and use it to get back to the place including using a tool like non-violent communication; how do you take the tools you are already using and put them into the document so you are really making use of them. But it has this ability to say, stress is not my enemy. I don't need to – I know, for my body, I do not stress 24 hours a day. I
  • 6. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 6 of 12 do not live in that kind of a world any more. I used to but I have leant now to clear things out. It's the notion that if I went on a hike for five miles, and in mile one, I get a stick in my shoe, I'm not gonna walk for five miles with a stick in my shoe. I'm gonna stop and take it out. That's what I do with stress; I stop, I take a look at it, I use the blueprint to have a conversation with the other person or people, we figure out what the clarity is that we are looking for so that I can re-write this habit loop in my subconscious mind to something that feels more peaceful and something that gives me resilience and life. Zelle: When we take that clarity and we build on it, like what is it that was calling out to us that we either want more of? Was it more connection, is it more responsibility, like, what are the pieces that will help us in our relationship and in our business or whatever we are doing together? Jerry: There seems to be a basic first step that's really a necessary component to this and what it reminds me of is a phrase that we often use at Reboot which is the notion of radical self-enquiry. You know, the formula that we work with is that practical skills development plus radical self-enquiry plus peer support equals enhanced leadership and greater resiliency. Maureen: It's one of reasons there's actually different types of blueprints. There is also a 'Blueprint of ME' which is the relationship you have between you and that chatterbox in your head that can either totally inspire you or spiral you down. That's the roommate you have 24/7, it never moves out. That relationship is there every day, it's gonna be, you can go on a vacation, it's still gonna come with you. So, how do you build that relationship first and say, 'This inner relationship I have between me and myself, me and my mind, has to be a healthy one, let me do that one first' was actually one of the interesting things often when we are working with an executive team, we'll have them all do the 'Blueprint of ME' first. Let me get right with that relationship before they do the team document of the Blueprint of WE and then it starts feeding into it. I start looking at that you know, radical self-enquiry, who am I, what do I want to bring to this, what do I know, what am I good at in this dance of leader and follower where you can be interchangeable in any given moment. This is not about I am a leader, you're a follower every day. This is – this world today is moment by moment changing that. So how do I know what dances do I know, when should I lead, when should I follow? When I start looking inside for that knowledge and that strength and then I share it in my Blueprint of WE, it's really powerful because it's what we call 'Collaborative awareness'. We are all very familiar with self-awareness, you know, that's something for the last 50 years is really progressed in our culture but now we are really crying out for collaborative awareness because you can take a group of really brilliant self-aware people to do something, why does it fall apart? Why is there all the stress? We haven't learnt that collaborative awareness space partially because we don't know how to use stress for clarity. We use stress to pull us back, to make us think we have to protect ourselves, the fear gets involved – and I loved how you talked about, you know, violence in the workplace because the violence in the workplace isn't between other people and myself. It's between me and myself. Sometimes I'm the hardest person on
  • 7. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 7 of 12 myself than anyone else. So how do I get that voice to calm down, how do I change my subconscious autopilot from these thoughts that are very stressful and create something calmer? Part of the way I do that is not just me looking into me but in collaborative awareness space, I'm having other people help me look into me. I know so much about myself not only because Zelle and I are married, but because we are co-founders of an organization. There's whole sides of me that if we never worked together, I never would have known about myself specifically because he saw that he helped bring them out or he noticed something that someone else might not have. Zelle: It is [Inaudible 0:21:06] it's really fascinating; she knows I'm upset before I do. Maureen: We both do, yeah. Zelle: It's really helpful to have someone say, hey wait a minute, why not take a look and to be able to take that step back and to be able to figure out what's going on and then have a conversation about what do we want to create and what's coming up because really, it's amazing. Jerry: You know, I think that, you know, if we are committed to doing our inner work whether it's the Blueprint of ME, or the radical self-inquiry, or using those tools and by the way, one of the questions I like to throw in there is, what kind of adult do I want to be because often times, I'm not. But I had this aspirational view of what I'm going to be when I'm a man, you know, when I grow up. If we do that, what I have found is that we then create the space for the other to be able to come to us and say, 'Hey listen, you have a smudge of dirt on your nose and you don’t even know it. You have a little piece of spinach on your teeth' and it's very non-judgmental. It's like, 'Hey, I notice that there is a furrowed brow going on. Maureen: Right. Jerry: Are you inquisitive, are you curious, are you stressed and by allowing that kind of spaciousness, then what happens in the room and I've seen this now between co- founders, what happens if two co-founders who often times start to replicate our family of origin situations, someone's playing mommy, someone's playing daddy, often times they flip back and forth then everybody else in the room, their inner system gets to calm down because those two parental figures are starting to communicate with each other like adults. Maureen: Yeah, absolutely. Jerry: And then the system starts to calm down and then I think that creates a space for collaboration, true collaboration, which is, it's okay if I tell you, 'Zelle, you got a smudge of dirt on your nose.' I'm not attacking you. Maureen: I don’t mind that I have a smudge of dirt on my nose, I'm okay with that. It doesn't mean that everything someone says to me about me is going to land us, 'Yeah, you're
  • 8. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 8 of 12 absolutely right.' But if I take it in with any sort of stress, that's where I know there's a message for clarity there, somewhere. Jerry: Yeah. Zelle: And I love the space where you're talking about, hey there's that smudge on my nose and having a conversation ahead of time when we are in a calm space around how I want to have that interaction with you; what are my conversations and what are my boundaries around how I want to talk to when you notice that smudge. And I might, you know, encourage a certain way for you to connect with me that can really help to move, keep us in that calm, connected space where we have that curiosity conversation. It's 'What's going on?' 'What's happening?' versus, 'What's wrong with you?' Maureen: Yeah, there is a – that curiosity also allows space for experiments because I might say to you, so how would you like me to tell you, you know, there's a smudge on your nose? And you might say, I don’t know, I have no idea. So we might have a conversation like well, maybe this, this, this, or this. All right, let's write that in our blueprint and let's try that. Let's do an experiment for the next two weeks; if something comes up, I'm gonna try one of these ways and then we have – the other part of the blueprint is what we call 'Look-back learning'. It's sort of like post-game analysis. If I tell you one of those ways, and you just like, 'That does not work at all', then a couple of days later we look back and I say, 'Okay, so I told you you had a smudge on your nose, that did not land well the way I said it. How could I have done it better?' Like, should we try one of the other ways? Like how could it look or feel – or if you just need to have your moment of, you know, intensity, but you took it in and we are going to have a big conversation. Like, it's just really taking a look at what's – how it's working and how we can be curious also using experiments. Jerry: I love this. You know, one of the other premises that I've been working with lately and that we really take to heart at Reboot is, not only is there an opportunity to reduce the inherent violence that can occur and the violence to the self and the existential threat, not only is it an opportunity to, sort of, for that self-exploration and then to sort of bring a whole authentic self to that experience. But as I hear the two of you describe this process from your 17 years of personal experience but also watching clients and colleagues to through this, it connects me back to this other wish that I think is implicit in so much that is there and that is that the promise of work not as this source of drudgery, but as an opportunity for self-actualization. You mean, I don't just go to work to earn a living? I go to work to grow and become a better human? What a radical concept that is. Maureen: And that that doesn't have to be hard work. Jerry: Yes. Maureen: Relationships have to be hard work or it's just one of the things that comes along with it. I couldn't disagree more.
  • 9. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 9 of 12 Zelle: It's a lot of fun and when I am allowing the best version of you to show up and you want the best version of me to show up, that space is something where we build what we want to create and we unleash our passion because as entrepreneurs, as founders of organizations and places like that, we want to bring something into the world, whatever it might be, to make something, you know, creative, something that we want to give and when I can invite the best versions of all the people around me to be a part of that process, that is life-giving and I want to be a part of that. Jerry: That reminds me of something my friend and teacher and mentor, Parker Palmer writes about. Parker talks about in his book, 'A Hidden Wholeness', he talks about the fact that what we are seeking from work is really three things: we're seeking the ability to pay our bills, we're seeking the ability to express our soul and we're seeking community. And I think that this collaborative process that you've developed is one of the ways in which that soul gets to come out and play in a safe way and we then form a community. And so then work is no longer that dreadful obligation but it becomes a place for play, of exploration. Maureen: Yeah, truly. One of the other types of blueprints that we love using with our clients is called the 'One-page introduction blueprint'. So an organization or even an individual, you create a one-page version of Blueprint of WE from your perspective. So, your organization, say if Reboot were to have a one page introduction, that piece of paper or electronically goes out to every person you touch, whether it's a new client or it's a supplier or whomever might be. The way you start every conversation is with this one- page introduction which says, it's the same five components that are in every blueprint which is the story of us, interaction styles and warning signs, expectations, questions for peace and possibility and short and long term agreements. So, same five things but it's really condensed to be this over-arching umbrella look at the organization and the way we use that in the contracting process is if that goes out to a new client, if they decide – if we decide we are going to work together, then we invite them to take 15-20 minutes, write their half of the same five components, then we merge that into one document and that becomes our legal contract in essence. We even had attorneys for major corporations say to people like, we are not going to do a traditional legal contract anymore because this blueprint has so much more that it takes into consideration. I mean, this even happened with one of our clients who uses a one-page introduction in the UK, they were working – one of their clients is the largest insurance agency in the United Kingdom and it was the attorney for the insurance agency that told HR, "We are not putting a penalty clause in this contract because it will void the spirit of the contract." So, there is something that happens when you start those conversations from moment one with somebody and say, 'This is a different way of being together in business and it's going to bring all of us to better work. We are getting more creative' – we even look at the difference from the evolutionary perspective of the brain between the safety brain and the connected brain. Our full culture, focuses on us developing safety brain mechanisms. I love my safety brain, I hope it comes on when I need it in a dark alley but I don't want that to be my go-to thing that I operate on every day. I now have a mind that operates on joy; like joy is my autopilot. That comes up before stress
  • 10. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 10 of 12 does and I can say that with all of my clients too because I start these conversations and relationships from a very different perspective and they end up showing up in a very different way as well. Jerry: I appreciate that. You know, so many of our clients are young startups and in so many instances, this is their – our clients, it's their first job; let alone their first leadership position and one of the other sources of tremendous tension in a relationship is actually the relationships that they have with their investors. And as you can imagine, it's a fraught relationship because power is there and I have this, never-before-revealed secret wish and that is, that a whole generation of venture capitalists who are providing the means for people to realize their vision of changing the world, would start to incorporate this kind of thinking into the documents that go along with the investments. Maureen: Absolutely. Jerry: Wouldn't that be grand? Maureen: Yeah, it's really true. Zelle: Definitely. Jerry: And so instead of having a document that says, 'Let's plan for the worst, let's presume that you are going to screw up as the CEO and you're going to have to get fired and I'm going to have to step in' what if we had a document that said, 'Let's use the investment process to grow as individuals regardless of whether or not the company succeeds'; that would be so fun. Does that sound like something that would be possible? Maureen: I could see it wholeheartedly. Zelle: Yes, definitely. Maureen: And that's the thing; it's not that work-intensive to create that. It's just the – people don't know they have another option. Jerry: That's right. Maureen: Once you start knowing you have another option, like you'd much rather take that road. Jerry: Yeah, so some day, a couple of friends of mine and I are hoping to do a boot camp for investors to talk about the process of being a board member and how to make that more collaborative and so, you may be hearing from me again. Maureen: There's definitely a lot of board's directors that are using it so – Jerry: Yeah.
  • 11. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 11 of 12 Maureen: – it works really well in that situation. Zelle: Yeah, definitely. Jerry: Well, thank you so much for taking the time to do this. This has been a great conversation and I know that the folks who listen to the podcast are going to be excited about this. We will have links and pointers to the information and I really want to encourage people to reach out to you guys and your facilitators and see if there's additional ways that we can sort of bring this work back into this small, little microcosm of business that Reboot works so well with. Maureen: I want to thank you just for the work you are doing in the world. Zelle: Yes, absolutely Jerry. Maureen: I appreciate it immensely. Thank you. Jerry: Well, thank you, it – you know, many years ago, one of my teachers Ani Pema Chödrön said to me that my karma is to sort of combine the business pragmatism with this kind of weird spirituality and I love it when I can manage to bring those two worlds together. It just makes me happy. Thank you guys, it's really, really a pleasure. Zelle: Great thank you. Maureen: Thanks. Jerry: Take care. So that's it for our conversation today. You know, a lot was covered in this episode from links, to books, to quotes, to images. So, we went ahead and compiled all that and put it on our site at Reboot.io/podcast. If you would like to be a guest on the show, you can find out about that on our site as well. I'm really grateful that you took the time to listen. If you enjoyed the show and you want to get all the latest episodes as we release them, head over to iTunes and subscribe and while you're there, it would be great if you could leave us a review letting us know how the show affected you. So, thank you again for listening and I really look forward to future conversations together. [Singing] "How long till my soul gets it right? Did any human being ever reach that kind of light? I call on the resting soul of Galileo, King of night-vision, King of insight."
  • 12. Reboot016_Mindfulness_Relationships Page 12 of 12 [End of audio 0:35:26] [End of transcript]