Connecting with people

1. Connecting With PeopleConnecting With People
Effective Communication & CoachingEffective Communication & Coaching

2. Which circle appears larger?Which circle appears larger?
AA BB

3. PerceptionsPerceptions
• Perception is the MAP of your world; What youPerception is the MAP of your world; What you
see, feel, experience etc.see, feel, experience etc.
• Whatever you perceive you organize into aWhatever you perceive you organize into a
pattern that is meaningful to youpattern that is meaningful to you
• ““What we know of other people is only our memory ofWhat we know of other people is only our memory of
the moment during which we knew them. And they havethe moment during which we knew them. And they have
changed since then…at every meeting we’re meeting achanged since then…at every meeting we’re meeting a
stranger.”stranger.”

4. How & Where & When it is saidHow & Where & When it is said
CommunicationCommunication
Message ContentMessage Content
What is saidWhat is said
LanguageLanguage
WordsWords
Message ContextMessage Context
Body LanguageBody Language
Our PerceptionOur Perception
FacialFacial
ExpressionsExpressions
EyeEye
MovementsMovements
Voice tone &Voice tone &
pitchpitch
SituationSituation
How are weHow are we
feeling at thisfeeling at this
timetime
Verbal SystemVerbal System
Non-VerbalNon-Verbal
SystemSystem
Together
they create
meaning
‘IN YOUR
MIND’

5. Effective Communication-IEffective Communication-I
• Effective communication requires clarity of meaning;Effective communication requires clarity of meaning;
This requires FeedbackThis requires Feedback (2-Way Communication)(2-Way Communication)
SENDER RECEIVER
Sends a message
Gives Feedback on Understanding
Acknowledges

6. Effective Communication-IIEffective Communication-II
• ListeningListening
– Hearing + UnderstandingHearing + Understanding
• Asking QuestionsAsking Questions
– Involving yourself with the other personInvolving yourself with the other person
• SummarizingSummarizing
– Trying to establish whether what you understood to be theTrying to establish whether what you understood to be the
message was actually the messagemessage was actually the message

7. Principles of FeedbackPrinciples of Feedback
• It describes behaviour & how that behaviourIt describes behaviour & how that behaviour
effects youeffects you
• It is specificIt is specific
• It is for the development of the receiverIt is for the development of the receiver
• It is about behaviour that the receiver canIt is about behaviour that the receiver can
changechange

8. How to Give FeedbackHow to Give Feedback
• Empathize with the receiverEmpathize with the receiver
– ““I know you’ve been busy lately, with the work pressure…”I know you’ve been busy lately, with the work pressure…”
• Explain behaviour in questionExplain behaviour in question
– ““And have not been able to give me time and listen to me…”And have not been able to give me time and listen to me…”
• Describe its effect on youDescribe its effect on you
– ““Which makes me feel very neglected and I start thinking thatWhich makes me feel very neglected and I start thinking that
you don’t care about me…”you don’t care about me…”

9. Coaching For PerformanceCoaching For Performance
• Ask QuestionsAsk Questions (From broad to specific)(From broad to specific)
– Telling or asking closed questions saves people from having toTelling or asking closed questions saves people from having to
think; Asking open questions causes them to think forthink; Asking open questions causes them to think for
themselvesthemselves
• Be Attentive to AnswersBe Attentive to Answers
– Watch Tone of voice, body language, blind spots etc.Watch Tone of voice, body language, blind spots etc.
• Summarize & ReflectSummarize & Reflect
– The loop starts at the top againThe loop starts at the top again

10. Coaching For PerformanceCoaching For Performance
• Ask QuestionsAsk Questions (From broad to specific)(From broad to specific)
– Telling or asking closed questions saves people from having toTelling or asking closed questions saves people from having to
think; Asking open questions causes them to think forthink; Asking open questions causes them to think for
themselvesthemselves
• Be Attentive to AnswersBe Attentive to Answers
– Watch Tone of voice, body language, blind spots etc.Watch Tone of voice, body language, blind spots etc.
• Summarize & ReflectSummarize & Reflect
– The loop starts at the top againThe loop starts at the top again