A basic primer on communications, persuasion, and sounding like an honest-to-god human.

1. How To Get People To
Buy Into Your Dumb +
Horrible Ideas
A Cool Communications Primer
By Nate Walsh (Age 29)

2. Hi, I’m Nate.
!
I work in
advertising +
marketing.
And I am
single.
I can’t imagine why.

3. Why That Matters
• My whole life is devoted to
selling people on things
they don’t necessarily like or
care about.
- Like chicken broth,
cataract surgery
equipment, or my face,
brain, and body.

4. Advertising + Marketing gets a pretty
shady reputation – so does being a single
dude, for that matter – so, how do I do
{moderately} well at those things WITHOUT
feeling like a totally horrible person?
Literally the only 2 shows I watch.

5. HINT: It is not because I am evil. I think?
Yeah, I’d watch this movie.

6. Well, I am going to give
you the “one weird trick”
to my success.
Discovered by a mom!! :0

7. R
U
READY
4
IT?? Goggles on, everybody!

8. I communicate like an
actual human being.
*pause for gasps*
This is how humans
do it, right?
!
Table,
laughing,
drinks,
so on?

9. This does not seem like super crazy,
game-changing advice, but you would
be surprised how many people are
terrible at sounding like a person when
they’ve decided to capital-C
Communicate something.
“And here’s
why you should
you should vote
for me.”

10. "I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because some people out
there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in
South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our
education over here in the US should help the US or should help South Africa and
should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we are able to build up our future."
For example…

11. It’s like they think, “What I’m
trying to do is different and
important. I guess I’d better
try and sound different and
important, too.”
No. Don’t do that. Stop. Quit it.
!
Knock it off.

12. Oh, you’re cheating on me?
How grand!
I don’t care if you’re writing a paper,
selling a business, debating with a
colleague, or hitting on someone.
!
In the end, you are totally just one
human talking to another.

13. So… uh…
!
How do
humans
communicate,
anyway?
Like this. Exactly like this.

14. That sounds like a dumb
question, but people
have a harder time with
it than you’d think.
(Plus, I have like 20 minutes to fill,
so let’s get into it some.)

15. 1. Consider Your
Audience. Like, For
Reals, Though.
Particularly the
moron in
front there.

16. • Lots of people, when
they’re communicating,
have a reaaaaal chip
on their shoulder about
what they’re saying
and how much other
people should be
caring about it.
• Like, “I took the time to
do this or say this or
write this, so you
automatically should
care about it.”
I’m IMPORTANT, okay?
My words are IMPORTANT.

17. Uh, nope.

18. Listen. I make my living as a writer, and
here is the main thing I have learned:
!
!
!
!
!
No one wants to read
anything I have written.
Ever. Ever ever ever.
People hate reading.
They hate it all to hell.

19. And, even if they do read what I
wrote, it’s certainly not just
because I took the time and
energy to write it.
Even if I do look
damn good doing it.

20. I <3 People
• Humans, on the whole, are fairly
selfish, easily distracted creatures.
!
• Whatever you present to them,
they’re gonna wanna know what’s
in it for them.
!
• And if they don’t spot it right away,
they’re gonna wander off in search
of something shinier. (Crows are
much the same way.)

21. So, you have to give
them a reason to care.

22. • Jokes
• Compelling Facts
• Funny Cat Photos
• New or Interesting
Ideas
And that reason can be a
lot of things:
• Boobs
• An Emotional Connection
(See: Boobs)
• Beautiful Language
• Free Sandwich

23. Ask yourself, “If I were a stranger
reading / hearing / looking at what I’m
communicating here, would I care
about what I was saying?”
Basically, I’m
talking about
EMPATHY.
If not, then you have some work to do.

24. So. I made this craigslist ad for my shitty
car that went the teensiest bit viral.
natewalsh.com/tanry

25. I knew the car
itself was not
very good or
interesting, so I
had to do stuff to
make people
stick with the ad.
Jokes and drunken
2nd grader construction
paper art, in this instance.

26. 2. Tell A !
(Memorable) Story
Some called him visionary.
Some called him rebel.
But most called him…
THE ENTERTAINER!!!!!!

27. OK, let us assume
that you considered
your audience
enough that they
stuck through for
the whole
communication.
Yay!

28. !
!
(Sorry to keep pooping on your hard work and dreams.)
How much of it do you think they are
going to recall after that fact?
Answer: Very, very little.
Hm, something
about math?

29. So, how do we take
control and help
people remember?
!
We turn our
communication into
a story.
Not this story, necessarily.
But a story.

30. People like stories.
• It’s how we’ve been keeping
ourselves entertained since
caveman days.
• It’s why there are so many
movies featuring Dwayne
“The Rock” Johnson.
• It’s how I get anyone to make
out with me ever. (Ask me the
one about Rain Wolf.)

31. Let’s pretend
we’re selling
something – a
smartphone, say.
This is the only one I can
afford, you guys :((((((

32. You could try and sell it
based on details.
• So much RAM. People love
RAM. RAM RAM RAM.
• 4G! LTE! Other letters that
mean things!
• How many photos of cats will it
hold? 27,000.
• It has 4 buttons. That is a great
number of buttons to have.
RAM RAM RAM

33. OR you could try and sell it
by telling a story about it.
• THIS is a magical
space-brick that fits in
your pocket and will
allow you to do pretty
much anything you want
– anywhere, anytime.
Holy balls, this phone!

34. Which of
those is
more likely
to stick?
Yes, it’s a glue pun.
Yes, I look like a horse’s ass.
Let’s move on.

35. Details won’t stick, but
a story can, because
it’s just shallow enough.

36. So. Whatever you’re trying to
communicate something, always
start with the one big story you
want people to walk away with.
It should be like a sentence, tops.
The cat!
He’s fat
and hates
Mondays!

37. The idea is to come up with
something cool and
memorable enough that your
audience will remember it –
and hopefully act on it in
some way, too (sharing it
with others, buying your
product, coming around to
your way of thinking, etc.)
Short, simple, compelling.
Like him.

38. “part of the magic of this smartphone is
how great the camera is at taking artsy
pictures of the food you’ve ordered,” etc.
By The By
There can totally be sub-stories that you
tell in service of your main story –
– but it should all lead back to the main
story, because that’s probably all anyone
is going to remember, anyway.

39. OK, let’s look at my dumb
car ad again.
• The main story was, “This
car is kind of terrible, but
its quirks actually make it
interesting and awesome.”
• There are sub-stories – for
example: “This car comes
with a lot of free, terrible
shit” – but they still are only
there to support that one
main story.

40. 3. Be Genuinely
Excited
I said “excited,”
not “douchey.”

41. • So, you know those people who are
always like, “Oh, man, I’m so good
at bullshitting. I write the best
bullshit papers. I’m such a great
bullshitter. Bullshit bullshit bullshit.”
• Yeah. 2 things:
1) Pretty much everyone can tell what
you’re doing.
2) No one is even the least bit
impressed.
• Sorry, killing more dreams, aren’t I.

42. Do you know what does
impress people and get
them excited and believing
what you have to say?
Enthusiasm.
Sincerity.
Honesty.

43. One of my
favorite bands of
all time is called
Harry and the
Potters.
They are 2 brothers who
dress up as Harry Potter
and only sing songs about
Harry Potter, in character as
Harry Potter. Yeah.

44. They are huge dorks, they aren’t very
talented musically, and they mostly play for
children in libraries.

45. That said, they are so pumped to be
on-stage playing for people that you
can sense their excitement – and you
get excited, too.
I have never danced
more at any concert.

46. But, you can’t fake
excitement.
!
!
!
!
You have to mean it.
Know what I mean?

47. It’s like that old
saying: If you want
to sell someone on
something, sell
yourself first.
!
Or, if I were saying
it: If you aren’t
excited, goddamn
get excited. Find
things to be excited
about.
Maybe not this excited.
Yikers.

48. I Have Sold Some Lame-
Sounding Shit In My Time
• “Dry eye” drops (not a real disease), artificial
sweetener, chicken broth, recycling services,
cooking oil, my friend Will’s OK Cupid profile
• But, I could do so honestly + enthusiastically,
because I allowed myself to get excited
about certain aspects of what I was selling.
• “Wow, this really is some great fucking
chicken broth. How did they do that?”

49. There really is
something cool or
unique or fascinating
about every single
thing out there.
!
Find it, get excited
about it, and you can
get others excited
about it as well.
2 excited friends.

50. Don’t B.S. – B.Lieve
in what you are
saying and
B.Enthusiastic.
In summation:
!
Yes, I went there, with those stupid B puns. Shoot me now.

51. Again, looking at the
Tanry ad…
• Let’s be honest: The car
was not great. But I
legitimately appreciated its
not-greatness. I was fond
of all its quirks and
oddities, and people could
sense that fondness in how
I spoke about the car –
even as I was making fun
of the thing.

52. 4. Communicate
Conversationally

53. 4. Communicate
Conversationally
TALK LIKE A
HUMAN BEING

54. Again, when some
people are trying
to capital-C
Communicate,
they seem to feel
this weird
pressure to make
the language they
use sound more
official, somehow.

55. NOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOO.

56. Trying to sound all fancy pants
really just ups your chances of
sounding pretentious or cold
or weird or indecipherable.
“Let’s synergize the
paradigm, y’all!”

57. I have this startup client,
and when I was first getting
to know them, I was like,
“OK, describe your
product for me.”
For instance:

58. I’ll give them this: They were
efficient.
!
They sprinted through 6 slides
of jargon-packed chaos in about
45 seconds.
!
“Annnnnd that’s our product.”

59. To which I replied,
“I have no earthly
idea what your
product is or
does.”
“Something with wires, maybe?”

60. Once we went back through
and I had them unpack each of
those jargon-filled sentences, I
found out they actually had a
pretty cool, compelling story.
!
Just – no one could possibly
get that from the way they were
telling it.

61. Aim to
communicate
at a level
where a 5th
grader could
get what
you’re talking
about.
And maybe not a
particularly smart
5th grader at that.

62. Avoid big words and
buzzwords.

63. Don’t try to sound like
a robot.
Emotion registered.
Initiating hug.

64. Talk like you
would talk to a
friend on the
phone about
the same thing
(if you’re not
weirdly
terrified about
using the
phone like me,
I mean). Oh no! A friend wants to talk to me!

65. But, even more than
that, allow your humanity
to shine through.
I’m not sure what this is,
but it is exactly what I mean.

66. Make things
personal (but not
too personal).
!
Tell jokes, relate
things to your
own experiences,
show basic
human emotion.
Perhaps not THIS
much emotion.

67. I’m not saying you
have to be all
wacky-pants and
tell a joke a minute
and relate the
story where you
got all messed up
on gin and took
your clothes off.
Not that this ever
happened to me
or anything.

68. Be professional.
!
Be an adult.
!
Be aware of
others’ feelings.
Just… be a little
human, too. A little human.

69. People don’t want to
talk to some
Shakespearean
business poet.
!
People want to
connect with other
people, and when
you put that effort in,
they want to put in
more effort with you. Alas, poor Yorick. I knew
him well on LinkedIn.

70. In my car ad, it could
probably be argued
that I was being too
human, admitting
weird personal
things and shouting
inappropriate jokes.
You probably shouldn’t be
doing that in your big
business pitches or
whatever, but a little
humanity never hurt.

71. 5. Be Confident, Not
Arrogant

72. • I am not a very confident
person. I am pretty terrible
about meeting new people.
And you should watch me try
and ask someone out on a
date. It’s hilarious / mortifying.
• That said, I have to pitch work
to clients all the time. Also, I
regularly get on stage and
sing terrible karaoke songs.
• So, what’s the deal? How do
we reconcile these 2 Nate
Walshes?
Charmer.

73. Alcohol,
obviously.

74. But besides that, I am able to
do some of those things
because I am confident in
what I am selling – confident in
my experience with
advertising and marketing
stuff, confident in the work and
research I’d put in, confident
in my ability to perform the hell
out of R. Kelly’s “Ignition.” (I
really am quite good at it.)

75. What do we mean by
“confidence,” though,
anyway?
Not whatever this is,
that’s for sure.

76. Confidence vs. Arrogance
• Confidence is the belief in
yourself (or what you’re selling)
that comes from knowing the
facts, knowing what’s awesome
about what you’re selling, and
knowing that what you have to
offer is worth the other person’s
time.
• Arrogance is the belief in yourself
(or what you’re selling) that
stretches beyond those facts, or
that somehow exists despite the
complete absence of any
support or evidence.

77. A confident person believes
in themselves with good
reason.
!
An arrogant person believes
in themselves for no good
reason.

78. We want to be confident
when we communicate,
but not arrogant.
!
So, how do we do that?

79. By following the previous
steps, of course!

80. If you…
• Have gathered the facts and found things to be
excited about
• Have turned those exciting things into a good story
• Can communicate that story in a relatable human way
• Are doing this at least in part for the good of your
audience

81. Then you are doing
everything right, and you
totally should be confident.
This guy probably shouldn’t be that confident, but OK.

82. Hooray!
Now go do everything I
just told you.
This has nothing
to do with anything.
I just loooooove
horse photos.

83. Okay, that is literally
everything I know.
• You can ask questions, but I probably won’t be
able to answer any of them for you.
• Feel free to get in touch, though:
nate@natewalsh.com
• Thanks for mostly listening!