This presentation was developed for students at Massey University, New Zealand.

1. 271.150 WRITING
WORKSHOP 2
Overview and sample paragraphs for
each section
Turning your notes into paragraphs
Evaluation of written excerpts

2. • This is a research-based report on a Communication
Disorder, divided into six sections, together with a brief introduction and
conclusion.
• Each of the main sections will typically consist of between one and
four paragraphs of 4 – 6 sentences each. This will add up to something
like 14 – 20 paragraphs in total (giving you your 2000 words).
• Because the report is research-based, there should be in-text
citations in each paragraph to support the claims which are made there.
• The reference list at the end will typically consist of between 10 and
20 references – most of which are academic journal articles, books and
book chapters – matching the in-text citations in the body of the report.
OVERVIEW

3. INTRODUCTION: EXAMPLE
PARAGRAPH
Syndrome A is a neurodegenerative disorder which mainly
affects middle-aged and elderly individuals. This critical review
summarises evidence related to its range and frequency in the
population and identifies causal factors and key impacts of the
condition on an individual’s communication and functioning. A
range of typical prognoses for individuals with Syndrome A are
outlined, along with two SLT interventions which can be used to
assist individuals to fulfil their communicative needs and to
enhance their well-being.

4. EPIDEMIOLOGICAL INFORMATION
• Is there agreement in the literature regarding issues such
as incidence, prevalence and age of onset?
• Are there relevant differences between
genders, ethnicities, ages or any other social or cultural
groupings?
• Where is your data from? Is it NZ-based? Is it universally
applicable? If not, provide the given country.

5. EPIDEMIOLOGICAL INFORMATION:
EXAMPLE EXTRACT
A number of sources cite a prevalence rate for Syndrome A
of xx among North American children (Brown & Gill, 2003;
Marley, 2007), but no prevalence data is available for New
Zealand children (Broughton, 2011). The condition appears
slightly more often in boys than in girls (a ratio of X:Y) (Smith,
2005). Another identifiable risk factor is family background:
siblings of children with Syndrome A are three times more
likely to develop Syndrome A than children without this
family connection (Brown & Gill, 2003).

6. AETIOLOGY
• Is there agreement in the literature about the cause(s) of the
disorder – e.g. genetic abnormalities, environmental factors,
traumatic events etc?
• What is the relationship between the different causal factors –
e.g. predisposition, co-occurrence, trigger etc?
• What are the neurological, physiological, anatomical features
underlying the disorder?
• Consider a logical way of organising the different causal
factors, so that it doesn’t end up as an undifferentiated ‘laundry
list’ of factors.

7. AETIOLOGY: EXAMPLE EXTRACT
There is no known cause of Syndrome A. However, several studies
have provided evidence of a hereditary genetic component in
Syndrome A (Dean, 2002; Xiang, 2005; Plowright, 2009), which
may predispose some individuals to develop the condition in a
number of specific contexts . Hays (2006) categorises these
contexts as birth-related (e.g. perinatal trauma), environmental
(e.g poor diet) and illness-related (e.g. rubella). In addition, a
number of studies have highlighted the co-occurrence of
Syndrome A with Condition B (Anderson, 2008;
Palmer, 2010), though it is unclear whether there is a common
chromosomal abnormality underlying both conditions, or whether
it is more logical to consider Syndrome A and Condition B as part
of one single disorder, as recently argued by Warrender (2012).

8. COMMUNICATION PROFILE:
SELECTED ISSUES
• As in other sections, organise your information into logical sub-
sections. These will depend on the nature of the disorder you’ve chosen
– for some conditions, there’ll be more to say about phonology; for
others, the semantic area will predominate, while for others there will be
more to say about use.
• Consider the degree of impairment in different domains of language
and whether these affect receptive and expressive use of language
differently.
• Also consider whether the impacts of the condition vary in the
early, mid- and late stages – or in any other systematic way (for
instance, according to age).

9. INTRODUCTION: EXAMPLE
EXTRACT
Syntactic and morphological deficits are strong markers for Syndrome A.
Syntactic development may be delayed for children with Syndrome
A, resulting in reduced xx and shorter yy (Sleziwicki, 2004). One recent
study found that seven year old children with Syndrome A were
significantly less able to interpret xx than typically-developing children –
and this impaired their ability to infer causation and sequencing in texts
(Redwood, 2013). At a morphological level, children with Syndrome A
have few problems recognising xx receptively, but frequently omit them
in productive use, leading to a lack of precision in relation to xx and yy
(Sleziwicki, 2004).

10. IMPACT ON THE PERSON’S
FUNCTIONING: SELECTED ISSUES
• Which relevant activities (e.g. educational, professional, social) are
affected?
• To what degree is participation in these activities affected?

11. IMPACT ON THE PERSON’S
FUNCTIONING: EXAMPLE
EXTRACT
Syndrome A has significant and long-lasting impacts on children’s xx and
yy. Children with Syndrome A have difficulties with xx as a result of yy.
Their reduced xx affects their performance in (and enjoyment of) yy
(Pearson and Gomez, 2008), while their difficulties with zz affect the
pace and clarity of their aa (Gomez, 2009). These difficulties become
particularly marked as they enter secondary education as yy becomes
increasingly critical to zz (Briggs, 2010).

12. PROGNOSIS: SELECTED ISSUES
• Is this a degenerative disease?
• What is the likelihood of the issue levelling out?
• How will this impact their future in terms of speech / language /
communication?

13. PROGNOSIS: EXAMPLE EXTRACT
Syndrome A is a persistent disorder. Recent research has shown that over
60% of children diagnosed with Syndrome A between the ages of xx and
yy continued to present with Syndrome A at the age of 18 (Dickens,
Noone, & Forsell, 2011). One indication of the persistent effects of the
condition is an English study which found that 76% of adolescents with
Syndrome A had been issued with a formal statement of educational
needs, entitling them to additional learning support; what is more, their
performance on standardised assessments of reading and writing was
approximately half the national average for all students (Atkinson, 2006).

14. SLT INTERVENTIONS: SELECTED
ISSUES
• What general approaches to intervention are appropriate?
• What particular issues (e.g. domains of communication, aspects of
functioning etc) are the focus of intervention?
• What strategies, activities, resources have been shown to be
effective?

15. SLT INTERVENTIONS: EXAMPLE
EXTRACT
SLT intervention for children with Syndrome A begins with an assessment
of the child’s xx. This consists of ……. (Wilkins, 2009). Because of xx, most
speech-language therapists now recommend a yy approach, which
focuses on zz, rather than the more traditional dd approach
(Rayburn, 2008). A yy approach incorporates ___ For instance, __. In a dd
approach, on the other hand, the therapist would __ (Halbin, 2006).
While this dd approach may successfully improve an individual’s __, its
limited focus on __ means that __ (Alwyn, 2010).

16. CONCLUSION: EXAMPLE EXTRACT
Syndrome A is the most prevalent xx in young adults. The condition
affects the individual’s …. and therefore impairs their participation in ….
While there is no cure, a number of treatments and therapies are
available which can alleviate the symptoms and allow an individual to xx.
Speech-language interventions focus on bb and have been shown to be
effective in cc.

17. Syndrome X affects comm. and can lead to
stress, anxiety, and depression (Payne, 2008)
Syndrome X reduces vocal intensity – so affects use of
phone, and comm. in noisy places. Also causes fear of
meeting new people because of awkward moments – e.g.
embarrassment or misunderstanding. This can affect
prof., ed. and social ops. (Brown, Pointer & Sloan, 2009)
Indivs with Syndrome X esp. get depressed ‘cause lack of
effective treatment (Rowles et al., 2010).
Comm is essential for functioning – comm disorders have
social, econ & emotional effects (Reilly et al., 2009)
TURNING YOUR NOTES INTO
PARAGRAPHS
As you research, organise your notes under the different
sections of the report – e.g. impact on functioning

18. Comm is essential for functioning – comm disorders have
social, econ & emotional effects (Reilly et al., 2009)
Syndrome X reduces vocal intensity – so affects use of
phone, and comm. in noisy places. Also causes fear of
meeting new people because of awkward moments – e.g.
embarrassment or misunderstanding. This can affect
prof., ed. and social ops. (Brown, Pointer & Sloan, 2009)
Syndrome X affects comm. and can lead to
stress, anxiety, and depression (Payne, 2008)
Indivs with Syndrome X esp. get depressed ‘cause lack of
effective treatment (Rowles et al., 2010).
TURNING YOUR NOTES INTO
PARAGRAPHS
To prepare for writing, order them logically

19. Syndrome X has both direct and indirect effects on an
individual’s functioning. It has a direct effect on oral
communication in noisy environments or over the phone. This is
because of the reduced vocal intensity associated with the
condition. Its indirect effects are fear and anxiety arising from
the difficulties of communicating in these circumstances. The
impact is not limited to the social domain, but also affects an
individual’s educational and social opportunities (Brown, Pointer
& Sloan, 2009). These wide-ranging effects on an individual’s
functioning are typical of most communication disorders, since
effective oral communication is an essential life-skill (Reilly et
al., 2009), particularly with the spread of mobile technologies
and online meetings. Individuals with Syndrome X may feel
stressed or excluded from full participation in oral
communication, which can lead to depression
(Payne, 2008), particularly as
effective treatment options are limited (Rowles et al., 2010).
TURNING YOUR NOTES INTO
PARAGRAPHS
Start paragraph with a general, topic sentence and then link
together the other sentences so that they flow

20. Baylor et al. state that communication is essential for
functioning and that communication disorders have social,
economic and emotional effects. Brown, Pointer and Sloan
(2009) point out that Syndrome X reduces vocal intensity and
therefore affects the use of the phone, and communication in
noisy places. They also explain that it causes fear of meeting
new people because of awkward moments, leading to
embarrassment or misunderstanding. They conclude that it
can affect professional, educational and social opportunities.
Payne (2008) mentions that Syndrome X affects
communication and can lead to stress, anxiety, and
depression. Finally, Rowles et al. (2010) state that individuals
with Syndrome X can become depressed because of
the lack of effective treatment .
TURNING YOUR NOTES INTO
PARAGRAPHS
Avoid just turning your notes into disconnected ‘shopping-
list’ sentences and constantly interrupting the flow of your
writing by putting authors into your sentences

21. People with autism like to spend time by themselves, separate
from other people. As a result they shy away from social
interaction and do not participate in communal activities (Autism
Online, n.d.). People with autism are not interested in taking part
in spontaneous conversations and they are also not interested in
engaging in spontaneous events with people in the same age
group as them (Bond, 2012). It is also challenging for people
with autism to take part in any sort of interaction with other
people (Bond, 2012). They only look at parts of something when
they are supposed to look at the whole thing in order to figure
out how it functions and works. As a result, they do not know
how it functions and works and because of this, they are also not
able to understand its functioning and cannot participate in
activities in which they are required to know how the object
works (Bond, 2012). People with autism are not interested in
sharing objects or personal space with other people, which
makes it hard for them to participate in social activities which
involve the sharing of objects or personal space (Bond, 2012).
How could this paragraphs be improved?

22. SLT WRITING TASK
The good news is that more than 75% of stroke victims are
able to regain sufficient levels of cognitive and
communicative skills, many of them return to work or
resume studies again (Larby, P., Freeman, L., &
Porter, B.D., 2000).
What’s wrong with example 1?

23. SLT WRITING TASK
The good news is that more than 75% of stroke victims are
able to regain sufficient levels of cognitive and
communicative skills, many of them return to work or
resume studies again (Larby, P., Freeman, L., &
Porter, B.D., 2000).

24. SLT WRITING TASK
More than 75% of people who have had strokes are able to
regain sufficient levels of cognitive and communicative skills
to return to work or resume studies (Larby, Freeman, &
Porter, 2000).
Improved version

25. SLT WRITING TASK
Many sufferers of this condition find it hard to communicate
or participate in social activities for quite a long period of
time (Ryan and Shaw, 2010).
What’s wrong with example 2?

26. SLT WRITING TASK
Many sufferers of this condition find it hard to communicate
or participate in social activities for quite a long period of
time (Ryan and Shaw, 2010).

27. SLT WRITING TASK
Many people with condition X find it hard to communicate or
participate in social activities for periods ranging from one to
six months after onset (Ryan & Shaw, 2010).
Improved version

28. SLT WRITING TASK
Children with ASD generally find social situations harder than
normal children, that is why “Pragmatic skills are a focus of
SLT intervention” (Minnock, 2003, pg. 84).
What’s wrong with example 3?

29. SLT WRITING TASK
Children with ASD generally find social situations harder than
normal children, that is why “Pragmatic skills are a focus of
SLT intervention” (Minnock, 2003, pg. 84).

30. SLT WRITING TASK
Children with ASD generally find social situations harder than
typically-developing children, which is why SLT interventions
focus on helping them develop their pragmatic skills
(Minnock, 2003
Improved version

31. SLT WRITING TASK
Also, “The presence of b-methyl-4-phenyl-7,2,4-
tetrahydropyridoxide at levels higher than 100 parts per
million has been associated with increased levels of xx in
clinical trials”
(Truss, Ward, Franks, Russell, Harby, Reynolds, &
Anderson, 2008, p. 28).
What’s wrong with example 4?

32. SLT WRITING TASK
Also, “The presence of b-methyl-4-phenyl-7,2,4-
tetrahydropyridoxide at levels higher than 100 parts per
million has been associated with increased levels of xx in
clinical trials”
(Truss, Ward, Franks, Russell, Harby, Reynolds, &
Anderson, 2008, p. 28).

33. SLT WRITING TASK
Recent research has found an association between incidence
of Syndrome A and high levels of a neurotransmitter, b-
methyl-4-phenyl-7,2,4-tetrahydropyridoxide (Truss et al.,
2008).
Improved version

34. SLT WRITING TASK
There is no single cause of Syndrome A. Although genetic
predisposition and environmental factors have been
identified as attributing to their onset (Plaid et. al, 2004).
What’s wrong with example 5?

35. SLT WRITING TASK
There is no single cause of Syndrome A. Although genetic
predisposition and environmental factors have been
identified as attributing to their onset (Plaid et. al, 2004).

36. SLT WRITING TASK
No single cause has been identified for Syndrome
A, although genetic predisposition and environmental factors
have been associated with its onset (Plaid et al., 2004).
Improved version

37. SLT WRITING TASK
Autistic children either repeat words immediately after they
hear it or repeat whole lines he or she heard before, known
as delayed echolalia (Speech Disorders Assocation, 2003).
What’s wrong with example 6?

38. SLT WRITING TASK
Autistic children either repeat words immediately after they
hear it or repeat whole lines he or she heard before, known
as delayed echolalia (Speech Disorders Association, 2003).

39. SLT WRITING TASK
Children with autism may either repeat words immediately
after they hear them or repeat whole lines they heard before
(a phenomenon known as delayed echolalia) (Author of
Peer-Reviewed Article, 2004 or later).
Improved version

40. © 2014
This PowerPoint Presentation and the accompanying handouts
are copyrighted by Centre for Teaching and
Learning, Massey University and may not be used, except for
personal study, without written permission from the
copyright owner. Please note that examples are provided for
illustration of writing principles only and no reliance should
be placed on any of the ideas referred to in the texts.
Martin McMorrow, Centre for Teaching and Learning
09 441 8143 slt-alb@massey.ac.nz
This presentation can be viewed online at:
http://tinyurl.com/2014sltworkshop2