How do you navigate microaggressions - those words and actions that offend or hurt, even though they may be unintended? Learn some of the obstacles of authentic conversations, as well as practical strategies for what to do or say when you are the target of, witness to, and agents of microaggressions.
Foster School of Business Undergraduate Programs Navigating Microaggressions
1. Undergraduate Programs
Foster School of Business
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Navigating Microaggressions:
Dialogue Tools for Ouch Moments
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
6. Reflection: Courageous Conversations
What are some personal or
professional environment
challenges for authentic
dialogue? How might you
move into more
courageous dialogues in
your professional and
personal life?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
7. What Are Microaggressions?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Accumulated Impact
Regular, Frequent, and Pervasive
Based on Stereotype
Often Unintended
8. Microassaults
– Explicit
– Conscious and Deliberate
– Backstage Spaces
Microinsults and Microinvalidation
– Hidden
– Often Unknown or Unintended
– Frontstage Spaces
Categories of Microaggressions
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
9. Alien in Own Land
Ascription of Intelligence
Colorblindness
Criminality/Assumption of Criminal Status
Denial of Individual Racism
Myth of Meritocracy
Pathologizing Cultural Values/Styles
Second-Class Citizen
Environmental
Microaggressions/Macroaggressions
Racial Microaggressions
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
11. Speaking From the Heart
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
12. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Can you lean on the
relationship?
Can you make it personal?
* Is your relationship
hierarchical? *
13. Being A DEAR
Affirm the person or relationship
Describe the behavior without judgment
Explain the emotion/impact and your filters
Assume positive intent
Request or suggest different behavior
*** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not
adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
14. Being A DEAR: An Example
I think you and I both agree we all have a
right to be respected and heard in this
community. When we were disagreeing
about budgets, you said “You’re being
overdramatic,” and later, you called me a
“drama queen.” Statements like this make it
sound like I am being too emotional and
that my concerns are drama rather than real
issues. I am assuming you don’t intend to
police my tone or dismiss my concerns. I
would appreciate your not saying things
like this anymore. Thank you.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
16. Are you speaking to the agent or
the audience?
Do you want to minimize harm to
the target group?
Do you want to educate?
Do you want to challenge social
norms?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
17. NCBI Effective
Interventions Model
Reduce Defensiveness
– Tone
– Body Language
– Respect
Keep the Conversation Going
– Hear Them Out
– Ask Open-Ended Questions
– Set Aside Your Feeling for the Moment
– Dialogue
Build the Relationship
Stop the Behavior
Win an Ally
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
18. Active Witnessing: Examples
Ask open ended questions
– “He looked suspicious”
– “How did he look? How was he acting? Why was that suspicious?”
Find out the experience motivating the comment
– “Why can’t they just speak English around here?”
– “It must be hard not to understand what people are saying around you.”
– “I’m sick of my taxes paying for freeloaders”
– “Tell me more about about that.”
Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going on
(use sparingly)
– “What do gay people think about this issue?”
– “I’m not sure – I’ll go ask. It may take me a while, since there are so many gay people.”
Join the person and do not make yourself superior
– “She got that award because she’s Black and female.”
– “You know, I hear that a lot. I’ve been trying to figure out why we seem to think when a
Black woman gets recognized it must be because of ‘diversity’ or ‘affirmative action’
reasons rather than that she earned it.”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
19. Listening to the Real Message
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
20. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Is this about what you did or
who you are (guilt or shame)?
What is your mindset voice
telling you?
Might this be an opportunity to
learn and grow?
21. Growing from Mistakes
Listen with full attention
Don’t try to defend or respond right away
– Take deep breaths
– Acknowledge your feelings
Your mistakes don’t define you
– Be worthy of their trust and gift
Prioritize the Impact over Intent
– Apologize for real
*** Moving through these moments with grace is
called shame resilience. It’s a vital skill***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
22. Growing from Mistakes: Examples
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
“I really appreciate your telling me this.”
“I’m so embarrassed that I did that.”
“I’m very sorry my words and actions made you
feel that way.”
“I’m pretty overwhelmed right now, and I don’t
want to respond in a way I’d regret. Do you think
you can help me come up with a better way to
handle that situation after I take a few minutes?”
“I wanted to go back to a moment I don’t think I
handled very well… Can we talk?”
23. Process Break
How might you use
these tools in your
professional and
personal life? What
questions or concerns
come up?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
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24. Final Words of Advice:
Recognize Your Triggers
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25. Find Your Bucket People
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
31. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
32. Final Questions or Comments?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
33. Resources
• Anti-Defamation League
• Brené Brown
• Cross Cultural Connections
(www.CulturesConnecting.com)
• National Coalition Building Institute
• The People’s Institute
• Stirfry Seminars
• Teaching Tolerance
• The Thiagi Group
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)