The Sucking Manifesto (http://thesuckingmanifesto.com) is a book by Steve Jackson and Markus Sandelin designed to explain the problems of people and analytics, trying to come up with a scientific solution through understandable/entertaining examples. Read the book online for free!

1. THE
SUCKING
MANIFESTO
A book by Steve Jackson & Markus Sandelin

2. ANYONE CAN DO IT.
BUT IT’S NOT EASY.

3. WE ALL SUCK
The next 30 minutes
PROOF WE SUCK
LEARN BY SUCKING

4. IT SUCKS TO BE NUMBER TWO,
BUT AT LEAST YOU KNOW WHERE YOU STAND.

5. WE ALL SUCK

6. WHEN A CARPENTER BUILDS A CHAIR,
HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE WILL END
UP WITH.
WHEN WE START, WE ARE CLUELESS.

7. “HOW YOU MEASURE SUCCESS DEPENDS
ON HOW YOU DEFINE SUCCESS.”
WE SUCK BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW WHAT SUCCESS IS

8. WE SUCK BECAUSE WE SPEND LOADS OF
MONEY ON GETTING EYEBALLS.
AWARENESS IS A BY-PRODUCT OF GOOD MARKETING.

9. WE SUCK BECAUSE WE USE NUMBERS
LIKE AN EMOTIONAL CRUTCH.
OH WOW WE GOT TEN THOUSAND VISITORS TODAY!

10. WE SUCK BECAUSE WE COMMUNICATE
LIKE THE NERDS WE ARE.
HAVE YOU AMPLIFIED YOUR CPA CONVERSION THROUGH YOUR BI DB YET?

11. WE SUCK BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW
HOW PLAY WITH THE HIPPOS.
HIPPOS ARE A MAN’S BEST FRIEND. MUCH BETTER THAN DOGS.

12. WE SUCK BECAUSE WE DON’T (KNOW
HOW TO) SHARE OUR DOINGS.
LEFT HAND, WE’D LIKE TO INTRODUCE MS. RIGHT HAND.

13. WE SUCK BECAUSE INSTEAD OF
BUILDING A HOUSE, WE ARE POLISHING
OUR HAMMER.
THE RIGHT TOOLS FOR THE RIGHT JOB.

14. WE SUCK BECAUSE WHEN WE FINALLY
KNOW WHAT TO DO, WE SCREW IT UP.
SORRY SIR, WE’RE NOT JUST A 100% ON THAT.

15. WE SUCK BECAUSE WE’VE LOST THE
CONFIDENCE IN NUMBERS.
IT’S 42, SIR. I THINK. I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS THOUGH.

16. 1. We have no goals or objectives
2. We waste cash & resources
3. We communicate like nerds
4. We sit in a goldfish bowl
5. We don’t plan well enough to do things right
6. We use the numbers for support not to take action
7. And when we get it wrong we lose confidence
8. Every business does it
SO, WE SUCK BECAUSE

17. PROOF THAT WE SUCK

18. DEFINE THE CUSTOMER
LIFECYCLES
STEP 1 - DEFINE
0"
20"
40"
60"
80"
100"
120"
140"
0" 50" 100" 150" 200" 250" 300" 350" 400"
Campaign(CTR((

19. WE SUCKED SO BAD BEFORE
TESTING THAT WE COULD IMPROVE
CONVERSION IN SIGN-UPS TO A
NEWSLETTER BY 268% AGAINST
THE BENCHMARKS.
STEP 2 - TEST LIFECYCLES

20. IT SUCKED. WE FOUND OUT THE
RE-PURCHASE PHASES WEREN’T
WORKING NO MATTER WHAT WE
DID.
STEP 3 - TEST LIFECYCLES

21. WE LEARNED THAT 60% OF THE
NEW CUSTOMERS WERE NOT
REACTING AFTER THE PURCHASE
TO ANYTHING WE DID.
ONE TYPE OF MESSAGE WAS 25%
BETTER THAN AVERAGE.
STEP 4 - TEST LIFECYCLES

22. 1. After setting up we found some outstandingly bad campaigns
2. We could improve from our baseline by 268% on new prospects
3. We were using the wrong channels to reach new customers
4. We were using the wrong message to reach old customers
5. And the lifecycle ended much sooner than we thought
THE PRESTIGE

23. LEARN BY SUCKING

24. WHAT IS THE VALUE CREATED IN $?
START BY SETTING THE GOALS

25. WHAT IS THE CHANCE OF THAT VALUE
HAPPENING AGAIN?
START BY SETTING THE GOALS

26. SPEND MONEY TO MAKE MONEY
SET YOUR COSTS TO REASONABLE LEVELS

27. !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!!! !!
Benchmark! !! !! !! >5.52%! >7.29%! !! <€1!!!! !!
RePurchase*Phase* Sent! Opens! Clicks!Average!Open!Rate! Average!CTR! Cost! CPC!Notes! !!
In!Tolerance! 3731013! 836493! 147632! 22.42%! 17.65%! €2,157,310.13! €14.61!Stop!Campaigns!
Stopped!at!Open!Rate! 258516! 8205! 3906! 3.17%! 47.61%! €61,703.15! €15.80!Stop!Campaigns!
Stopped!at!Click!Thru!Rate! 441794! 120887! 6768! 27.36%! 5.60%! €320,417.94! €47.34!Stop!campaigns!
!! !! !! !! !! PotenNal!Cost!Saving! €2,477,728.07! !!#!Campaigns! 653!
!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!!! !!
Benchmark! !! !! !! >7.5%! >!30%! !! <€1!!!! !!
Prospect*Phase* Sent! Opens! Clicks!Average!Open!Rate! Average!CTR! Cost! CPC!Notes! !!
In!Tolerance! 18179123! 3390841! 1751413! 18.65%! 51.65%! €1,337,791.23! €0.76!OK! !!
Stopped!at!Open!Rate! 7349359! 178787! 122832! 2.43%! 68.70%! €121,493.59! €0.99!OK! !!
Stopped!at!Click!Thru!Rate! 1897999! 354504! 82272! 18.68%! 23.21%! €190,969.97! €2.32!Review!campaigns!
!! !! !! !! !! PotenNal!Cost!Saving! €190,969.97! !!#!Campaigns! 345!
!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!!! !!
!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!!! !!
Benchmark! !! !! !! >2%! >14.5%! !! <€1!!!! !!
New*Customer*Phase* Sent! Opens! Clicks!Average!Open!Rate! Average!CTR! Cost! CPC!Notes! !!
In!Tolerance! 1138981! 211417! 60098! 18.56%! 28.43%! €171,389.81! €2.85!Review!Campaigns!
Stopped!at!Open!Rate! 78998! 9! 4! 0.01%! 44.44%! €4,284.33! €1,071.08!Stop!Campaign!
Stopped!at!Click!Thru!Rate! 450230! 113907! 9125! 25.30%! 8.01%! €60,502.30! €6.63!Stop!Campaigns!
!! !! !! !! !! PotenNal!Cost!Saving! €64,786.63! !!#!Campaigns! 56!
!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!!! !!
HERE’S WHAT WE MADE EARLIER.

28. KNOW WHERE THE PEOPLE COME FROM,
VALUE THEM BY CHANNEL.
TAKE AIM BEFORE YOU SHOOT.

29. THE HIPPO LOVED IT.
HE HIRED FIVE NEW PEOPLE TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.

30. SO WHAT HAPPENED?
HERE ARE THE EIGHT STEPS IN EVERY PROJECT

31. DEFINE YOUR CUSTOMER
STEP 1 OF 8

32. DEFINE WHEN THEY STOP BEING ONE
STEP 2 OF 8

33. DEFINE THE COSTS AND VALUE OF A
CUSTOMER
STEP 3 OF 8

34. DEFINE THE LIKELIHOOD OF A REPEAT
CUSTOMER
STEP 4 OF 8

35. STOP THE CHURN
STEP 5 OF 8

36. FIND AND USE THE BEST CHANNELS,
PER LIFE CYCLE STAGE
STEP 6 OF 8

37. TEST EVERYTHING
STEP 7 OF 8

38. LISTEN TO YOUR CUSTOMERS
STEP 8 OF 8

39. THANK YOU

40. THE
SUCKING
MANIFESTO
A book by Steve Jackson & Markus Sandelin
WWW.THESUCKINGMANIFESTO.COM