An Irresistible Spouse

AN Irresistible SPOUSE
Our society is filled with troubled marriages. Every
day you will hear of many couples that are going
through difficult moments in their marriages and
the percentages of divorce and separation are
increasing becoming higher and higher. What can
make you become an irresistible spouse? These
are the concerns I am addressing here.
Kigume KaruriWednesday, March 29, 2017 1

• Marriage is very close to the heart of God. It is
so close that He identifies it with the
unconditional love that Christ has for the
Church.
• Ephesians 5:21-33.
• 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the
Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also
Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of
the body.
Wednesday, March 29, 2017 Kigume Karuri 2

• 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to
Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands
in everything.
• 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also
loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that
He might sanctify and cleanse her with the
washing of water by the word,

• 27 that He might present her to Himself a
glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or
any such thing, but that she should be holy and
without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love
their own wives as their own bodies; he who
loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever
hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes
it, just as the Lord does the church.

• 30 For we are members of His body,[d]of His flesh
and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall
leave his father and mother and be joined to his
wife, and the two shall become one
flesh.”[e] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak
concerning Christ and the
church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in
particular so love his own wife as himself, and
let the wife see that she respects her husband.

• God is able to help us overcome our
relational failures and succeed in
becoming the IRRESISTIBLE SPOUSE.
• Successful couples are close couples
understand that:
They are hardwired for intimacy.
There is too much wrong advice
coming from the secular mind set.

• If we understood this and really believed this
then we would be able to spend more
productive time on growing relationship and
less time on salvaging failures.

• Marriage is God’s chosen vehicle for the
expression and joy of sex.
–To truly experience intimacy and be that
irresistible spouse, God’s creation of sex
has to be a part of your life.
–It is right here many couples get in trouble
because they do not understand the right
approach and consequently they end up
ruining and destroying the marriage.

–80% of the people who separate,
divorce. The reason is the devil tries
to get them to believe that their
marriage cannot be salvaged.

• Song of Solomon - This story dramatizes the
beauty of love between a man and a woman.
– God is big on love and the bonding that
comes through relationships.
–God knows and we should know that how
love goes so goes everything else in our
lives.
–God designed us for intimacy.

• Because of sin, man’s heart has pulled away from
God and other relationships and it is getting
worse.
 There is a lot of brokenness and failure in
marriages today.
 Nearly 50% of today’s marriages end up in
divorce.
 The rate goes higher when you count those
who separate and never come back to the
marriage but don’t divorce – possibly 66-67%.

• Marriages in trouble almost always look out
for self before they do their spouse. That is
probably why they are in trouble.
• Before marriage, we look to put our spouse
first, but after marriage the tendency is to
look to put ourselves first.

• Everyday pressures work to destroy love and
sometimes ends in divorce.
• Some of the circumstances that can make
marriages go bad:
• a. Working long hours
• b. Extensive travel
• c. Priority juggle between family and career

• d. Satan’s stronger force to destroy marriages
than ever before.
• e. Struggles on marriages from the work
place
• f. Secular changes in societal values
• g. Struggles to make ends meet financially -
stay out of debt

• h. More career moves
• i. Unemployment
• j. Child care issues
• K. Personal interests and satisfaction

How Can We Then Be The
Irresistible Spouse?
• A. Start with God - Psalm 46:1, “God is our
refuge and strength, a very present help in
trouble.”
–You have to make a firm choice that no
matter what has happened in the past, by
God’s help you are going to go and do
whatever it takes to be the right kind of
spouse.

• B. Recognize your personal spiritual task to
be reconciled to God and to one another.
• Proverbs 19:21 - God’s counsel is the best you
can get.
– God understands betrayal.
–Our prayer should be, “Search me, O God,
and know my heart... Psalm 139:23-24
–We must call upon God for forgiveness and
cleansing.

• C. Commit to saying no to whatever has
caused the conflicts or difficulties. What is it
that bothers you?
–Sort best ways to resolve any conflicts.
–This must be done the soonest possible.
–Remind each other of your first love.
–Go back to the basics of your marriage.

• D. Begin developing an empathetic heart for
your spouse.
–This calls for moving from stonewalling
perceptions to empathy for the person
hurting.
–There should be a responding from both
spouses out of brokenness.

–Instead of saying I am convinced that
he/she is wrong, now it should be
considered that maybe we both have failed
in this relationship.

• E. Begin creating a zone of safety, so you can
begin reconstructing your marital
relationship.
• Remember Genesis 2:24
• 1. By God’s grace get control of a hurtful
tongue.
• 2. Seek reconciliation daily for your partner.

• 3. Maintain an atmosphere of safety in the
home.
• 4. Reconstruction must happen one day at a
time.

• 1 Cor. 13:4-8,13
• 4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not
envy; love does not parade itself, is not
puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not
seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no
evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices
in the truth;

• 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all
things, endures all things.
• 8 Love never fails.
• 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.

• I believe God desires for us to be naked and
unashamed with each other once again so
that we can be like Adam when he first saw
Eve and said, “WOW!”
• May our prayer be that God will restore the
WOW in our relationships so that each of us
will be irresistible to each other and attracted
to no one else.

• “Are you willing to do everything in your powerto
work on becoming the irresistiblespouse?”

FINALLY
• It will take YOU to bring change in your marriage.
Appreciate your spouse. Your spouse is the
closest person in your life. Make all the efforts to
ensure he/she is irresistible in your marriage.
• THE “WOW!” IS VERY IMPORTANT IN MARRIAGE.
• Maintain the state of the “WOW!” .

An Irresistible Spouse

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