(1) The document criticizes Chromebooks for trapping consumers into ongoing purchases through their affordable price and similarities to Apple's MacBook Air. (2) It argues that Chromebooks will limit users' access to files and applications through their reliance on cloud storage and web applications and compatibility with older systems. (3) The document predicts that Chromebook users will become isolated as their access to information and ability to connect with others is defined by Google.

1. The Shiny New Chromebook
by John Marx
Not since John D. Rockefeller gave
away kerosene lanterns have we seen a
corporate entity be so blatant when trapping
consumers into sustained purchases. Yet there
it is, a new bright shiny toy, and at an all-too
affordable price. Truly the Chromebook
marks a new low in computing. With
Samsung's near replica of Apple's MacBook
Air, combined with Google's infamous
And oh the surprise they will receive when
tetherware, the Chromebook is sure to sell like,
they finally do land a cubicle island only to find
well?, android phones.
that their new masters won't let them share the
The Chromebook takes the best and makes
corporate information assets by storing them on
it the worst. Before most of us could even reach the
cloud storage in cyberslums. Once inside, the all-
cloud we now will be in the fog. The near-earth
too-familiar space bound by firewalls higher than
haze of SaaS (Software as a Service) from our
the eye can see, web applications will be torn from
nation's top “do no harm” entity. But just as the
the arms of Gen-whatever-ers and replaced by slow
Hippocratic oath has failed to prevent physicians
booting proprietary office applications that won't
and pharmaceutical companies from causing more
allow document sharing or unfiltered access to even
symptoms than they prevent, the DenuntioManduco
the Internet. Yes, in the year 2020 XP will still live
will ultimately swallow all of the world's
because IE 27 is not compatible with legacy
information only to exploit it through their
applications. And besides, shouldn't it? The World
misguided fiduciary relationship with the one-
Wide Web is where the undesirables work and play
percent.
and they are dangerous. Didn't you learn from that
Unsuspecting patrons of our nation's
280 pound pedophile that invited you to prom?
supposed institutions of higher education are
Meanwhile the chasm between them and us
already shunning plasticware from predatory lenders
will grow even further with the ultimate free
only to sign up for the technical debt offered by the
Chromepad offered with a two year electronically
nation's largest digital bank. And while payback in
signed contract sealed when you enter the number
dollars is fleeting in a low-jobs economy it is better
of your GoogleWallet, the new form of digital cash.
than pay back in blood. It pains me to see that our
And alas they sit, confused and isolated, separated
children and grandchildren won't ever change a
from their lifetime of information tanning under
channel or choose their own content again. Instead,
fluorescent lights and two-by-two tiles, only to
they will forever be fed the information Google
await meeting with their friends after work on
thinks they deserve based on queries they did
Google Plus!
during adolescence on now obsolete search engines.