Playing the victim, worrying about things outside of your control, and trying to please everyone are three negative traits that can hold a person back according to the document. These traits waste time and energy, drain mental and physical resources, and make achieving happiness difficult. The document recommends taking responsibility for your own life, controlling reactions to uncontrollable events, and setting healthy boundaries to regain control over time and energy.

1. 10 Negative Traits That Are Holding You
Back
Play the Victim
Regardless of how difficult your life is, you choose how to react to it. Rather than wasting time
and energy feeling like a victim, it helps to realize that life is never meant to be fair. The longer
you indulge in self-pity, the longer it takes to feel better. Taking daily responsibility in your life
gives you control over your emotions, allowing you to see that your life happens by you, not to
you.
Worry about What You Can't Control
Worrying about circumstances that are out of your control is a potent happiness thief. A traffic
jam has the potential to ruin your day. Rather than stressing out over the stopped traffic, try to
refocus your thoughts and mentally readjust your day. You may not be able to control the events
around you, but you can maintain an even keel by controlling how you react to them.
Try to Please Everyone
While it's common to want to help people and ease their burdens, trying to please everyone is an
impossible task. Not only does it drain your mental and physical energy, an excessive focus on
others' needs creates a stressful conflict with your own needs. To regain control over your time
and energy, a simple, "I'm sorry. I'm not able to do that now" is a kind, clear way to set healthy
boundaries.
Hold a Grudge
There are times when someone in your life displeases or disappoints you. You have two
workable choices in this case. You can accept the situation as part of life and move on, or you
can approach the person with your concerns and talk it out. You may not get agreement, but you
can get clarity. The third choice, holding a grudge and being passive-aggressive, hurts you more
than anyone else.
Avoid Solitude
Solitude can be unsettling if you rely on others for your happiness and entertainment. If this
describes your outlook, then learn to be happy with your own thoughts by starting small. Spend
an hour doing your favorite activity, and return to the people around you. As your comfort
grows, increase your alone time. Solitude is a great safety valve, providing balance and
confidence to your life.

2. Feel Entitled
A feeling of entitlement is an ever-deepening trap that robs you of happiness. The twin roots of
entitlement are envy and anger, creating irresolvable resentment. To readjust your outlook, it
helps to realize that others aren't required to take care of you. Being able to explore, succeed, and
fail on your own merit is a powerful way to foster your own happiness.
Compare Yourself to Others
Resentment of other people's happiness is a sure way to torpedo your own peace of mind. Other
people's joy does not take away from your own. If you feel you fall short, you may be surprised
to hear of the insecurities, unhappiness, and anger they harbor but don't show. Try not to
compare what you feel inside with other people's outsides. It's not a fair or accurate comparison.
Dwell on the Past
While it's important to learn from your experiences, good and bad, staying in the past deprives
you of living in the present. Like most people, your past may include personal, family, or work
difficulties and pain. Remaining stuck in the past doesn't allow you to change it. Past mistakes
offer a rich opportunity to learn, let it go, and make different choices in the future.
Confuse Happiness with Perfection
A major factor in chronic unhappiness is waiting for perfection. You delay today's happiness if
you're expecting to become happy as soon as you lose weight, stop smoking, or get a new job.
Placing that much expectation on a single event is unrealistic, further deepening your
unhappiness. By practicing optimism, even when you don't feel it, your mind and body become
used to it.
Avoid Giving
Even if you're broke, you can create happiness by giving your time or kindness. Dennis Prager,
author of "Happiness Is a Serious Problem," notes the connection between happiness and
goodness is gratitude: "By becoming more grateful in order to be happy, you will also become a
better person because gratitude will make you better." Giving allows you to get out of your own
head.
A seemingly simple concept, happiness is composed of a constellation of actions, thoughts, and
attitudes. Even when life is tough, you choose how you react to it. By committing to being
happy, you also help those around you be happy.