Grace and Gratitude: Arthur Morehead and Living Well
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These are the slides from a presentation I gave in a SC Bar CLE entitled "What Matters Most: Crafting a Well-Lived Life" on February 13, 2019 https://www.scbar.org/shop-cle/livecourse/what-matters-most-crafting-a-well-lived-life/
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Grace and Gratitude: Arthur Morehead and Living Well
- 1. Grace and Gratitude Arthur Morehead and Living Well
- 2. @jjpringlesc
- 3. Introduction
- 4. Overview
- 8. Lens is Stuck “Please remove the ‘e’ in ‘judgement’ in one of your slides (towards the end).”
- 10. The Tools When Things Don’t Go As “Planned”?
- 11. Stress and Distress (Getting Stuck)
- 12. Chronic Stress and the Mind/Body
- 15. What is Missing When Distress Sticks? • The Capability to Manage Emotion • Space to Respond (Rather Than React) • Context/Awareness • Cooperation/Collaboration/Communication (Listening) • The Willingness to Change (Curiosity, Creativity)
- 16. You May Not See The Whole Picture
- 19. Blind Spots (Frame, Lens, Tuning)
- 20. Blind Spots
- 22. Sometimes We are the Tool
- 24. Servant Becomes Part of the Master
- 25. We’re Also Wired …
- 26. Noticing The Stories You Tell
- 28. Space in Your Head
- 31. Growth is Uncomfortable Embrace Challenges Learn from Criticism
- 33. Build Things That Can’t Be Taken Away
- 34. Create Space For Attention
- 35. Create Space with Computer Tools Evernote Podcasts
- 37. Practice Gratitude By Giving Time
- 41. Work Hard ‘Till The End of Your Shift
- 42. Give Yourself Space to Laugh - At Yourself
- 43. Where the Real Work Is …
- 44. Conclusion: Create Space for Solving Problems
- 45. Resources • Jeena Cho, The Anxious Lawyer, https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Lawyer-Satisfying- Mindfulness-Meditation/dp/1627226249 • Baba Shiv, How Do You Find Breakthrough Ideas?, Stanford Graduate School of Business, http://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/baba-shiv-how-do-you-find- breakthrough-ideas • The Resilient Lawyer http://theanxiouslawyer.com/rl-23-jack-pringle/ • Farnham Street https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/ • One You Feed With Michael Taft http://www.oneyoufeed.net/michael-taft/ • Tim Ferris with Brene Brown http://fourhourworkweek.com/2015/08/28/brene-brown- on-vulnerability-and-home-run-ted-talks/ • On Being With Ellen Langer http://www.onbeing.org/program/ellen-langer-science-of- mindlessness-and-mindfulness/6332 • You Are Not So Smart http://youarenotsosmart.libsyn.com/062-naive-realism-lee-ross-0 • “How Biases, Politics and Egos Trump Good Strategy,” Chris Bradley, January 16, 2018 https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-biases-politics-egos-derail-business-decisions- chris-bradley/?kui=qdGk5TG7MixpsWIoQ-NS2Q
- 46. More Resources The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right, by Atul Gawande http://www.amazon.com/Checklist-Manifesto-How-Things-Right/dp/0312430000 Smarter Than You Think: How Technology is Changing Our Minds for the Better, by Clive Thompson http://www.amazon.com/Smarter-Than-You-Think-Technology/dp/1594204454 Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D http://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Success-Carol-Dweck/dp/0345472322 Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success, by Adam Grant http://www.amazon.com/Give-Take-Helping-Others-Success/dp/0143124986 Resolve to Use Your Device as a Tool- And to Resist Being Tooled By It https://medium.com/@jjpringlesc/resolve-to- use-your-device-as-a-tool-and-resist-being-tooled-by-it-3bccb43f98ab 'Our minds can be hijacked': the tech insiders who fear a smartphone dystopia, https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/oct/05/smartphone-addiction-silicon-valley-dystopia “Art of Letting Other People Have Your Way: Negotiating Secrets with Chris Voss,” The Knowledge Project Podcast, https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2018/01/chris-voss/
Notas do Editor
- I didn’t come down here to change your mind about anything, but to ease my own mind about everything.
- Law School is Different. "What do you call everyone in your office who is not you? A Non-lawyer. The Law is a Jealous Mistress. What does the law say. Bound by Precedent. BlueBook and Manual on Style
- “A bundle of tense muscles defending our existence.”- Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche Extrinsic and Linear.
- Kids and the Now Ever Thought Your Way out of a Painful Emotional situation?
- Letter from ODC, Motion for Attorney’s Fees, Frivolous Claim, Partner in your Office Stress not equal to Distress, Shame not equal to Guilt Distress is Not Wanting What We Presume is Going to Happen
- Interferes with learning and memory lower immune function and bone density increased weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease increase risk for depression, mental illness, and lower life expectancy. potential trigger for mental illness and decreased resilience—especially in adolescence.
- (worry, anxiety, discomfort) Problem is the Bear isn’t always chasing you. Are you running because you are scared, or scared because you are running. William James. Thoughts and Sawyer- altruism project. Resist, React, Kill the Pain Work and effort. Struggle and fear. relaxing
- We are “problem solvers”, but often unaware of the problem (especially when the problem is us) Unaware of any clue how to solve it; But absolutely certain that we do know or unwilling to admit otherwise. Most of us live mindlessly all of the time- Using the Tools We Have means we don't see the whole picture and miss what is right in front of us Not there and not there to know we are not there You are Not So Smart (False Consensus) – Lee Ross- believing that from situation to the next, people are more likely to do things or see the world the way we do. Ambiguity, doubt. we don't perceive everything that is important. Our brains and emotions don’t always make sense of the world Naïve realism
- What to Think (We all got holes to fill, and them holes are all that’s real . . .) (Turn Off The Brain) A Reminder from Time to Time that Things Are Relatively Easy (Why Do You Need Space?- Creativity-Risk-Vulnerability)
- Less evaluative of other people; feel unique but recognize that everyone is also unique; ability to take risks. Situational rather than personality-based. (When You notice Things about yourself, you notice things about others) (opposite of projection). Gets you off your back foot and in a posture of being ready to actively solve problems and create possibilities David Allen and the open loop. Hard not to be humble when you see the way your brain works.
- (Not Presence but instead "noticing"- you can't make a decision to be "present") (what do you mean "without judging") Managing the fog of emotion Being aware of your patterns Getting space Without judging letting go of the illusion that we are in control Beginner's mind and the ability to listen or evaluate without preconceived notions One cannot learn what they already know. -Epicetus. If you're offended easily, you're a bad resource allocator. It's a waste of energized gy & attention; a greater sin than wasting time- @tferriss Train yourself to value most the things that can't be taken away. Observation and perception Observe people having sex Parker J. Palmer- eustress. Creativity=Curiousity > Fear (choosing Curiousity over fear). Something only special people do. Rigidity in intention, but flexibility in implementation. One You Feed, July 20th
- (see distractions, biases, self-serving thoughts and actions)
- Can you accept some criticism, share some credit, and allow for some mistakes? Courage to Change) take risks, be seen, tell your own story. (Best Measure of Courage is Vulnerability)- (You might as well show yourself, because people are going to form opinions of you anyway). Shame can’t survive emphathy: (Shame Needs Three Things: secrecy, silence, judgment) Be seen Are You Trying to Get Better from a Good Place, or Trying to Fill a Hole? I am really good, but I can be better v. I am flawed and I need to prove myself If you are enough, and want to improve, that is different from always needing affirmation from others. (Perfectionism is the 20-ton shield)- you can't be seen. Being Here or Living for the Future Curiosity and Being a Lifelong Learner Listening
- Silence isn’t the absence of sound, it’s the absence of noise.
- Omm Writer, Freedom, Leechblock. Email exacerbates the urgent to the exclusion of the important You Need Sustained Attention Fuel, Fallible, Finite Technology is a (Constant) Distraction and Saps Attention Minimize Your Beeps and Notifications (and your Interruptions and Meetings) Guard Your Attention Jealously
- (Put Your Own Mask on) (When You notice Things about yourself, you notice things about others) (opposite of projection). Shame can’t survive emphathy: (Shame Needs Three Things: secrecy, silence, judgment) Be seen If I am going to fall prey to cliches, I will choose these.