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Pastafarianism
1. Disclaimer
It is not the intent of myself or the creators and followers of this religion to offend.
The following content may seem like a joke, but people genuinely believe it. Don’t knock it!
3. What is it?
The belief that a creature known as
the Flying Spaghetti Monster created
the Earth 5000 years ago.
Usually recognised as a ‘parody
religion’, although its followers insist it
is genuine.
No rotes, prayers or places of worship.
“With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the
Only dogma = NO DOGMA! Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion,
Holidays include every Friday and even by its opponents – mostly fundamentalist Christians,
who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs.”
International Talk Like A Pirate Day. - Bobby Henderson
4. How did it start?
Initially brought to the attention of the Kansas
State Board of Education in 2005, who were
deciding if Intelligent Design should be taught in
schools as biological science.
Intelligent Design advocates claim it is based on
scientific evidence.
In his letter to the board, Bobby Henderson
(Prophet of the FSM) submitted that the FSM was
an equally valid theory, since it too was based upon
scientific, empirical evidence.
The board eventually ruled against teaching ID.
Henderson published ‘The Gospel of the Flying
Spaghetti Monster’ later that year.
5. Who or What Is the
Flying Spaghetti Monster?
The god of Pastafarianism. Often referred to as the FSM, His Noodlyness,
or the Spaghedeity.
He is invisible, intangible and undetectable until He decides otherwise.
6. Who or What Is the
Flying Spaghetti Monster?
He created the world approx. 5000 years ago (after drinking heavily –
this is the reason for Earth’s imperfections), and made it appear to be
millions of years old!
All evidence of evolution was planted by Him in order to test our faith.
Every time a scientist makes a measurement, He is there changing the
results with His Noodly Appendage.
7. Impact
of
FSM
Now has “millions, if not thousands” of followers!
FSM is often used in religious disputes - weapon against
teaching ID in schools.
The free speech zone in front of a courthouse in Tennessee
temporarily hosted a statue of the FSM.
8. Pirates: The Original Pastafarians
Divine Beings in Pastafarian belief.
Our ‘history’ books tell blatant lies - Pirates
were actually “peace-loving explorers and
spreaders of good will”.
Known to have given out candy to passing
children (thus establishing Halloween).
Dwindling numbers attributed to religious
persecution, misinformation campaigns, and
ninja attacks.
In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was “Arrgh!”
- Piraticus 13:7
9. GLOBAL W’ARRR’MING
Decreasing No. of Pirates = ANGRY FSM
His Displeasure -> Global Warming
No. of
Pirates Average Global 16
Year (Approx.) Temperature 2000
Global T empe rat ure (in o C)
1980
1820 35000 14.2 15.5
1860 45000 14.3 1940
15
1880 20000 14.6 1920
1880
1920 15000 14.9 14.5
1860
1940 5000 15.2 1820
14
1980 400 15.6
2000 17 15.8 13.5
13
35000 45000 20000 15000 5000 400 17
Pirat e Populat ion (Approximat e )
Interestingly enough, Somalia has the highest number of pirates AND lowest carbon emissions of any country. Coincidence?
10. The 8 “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t”s
1.
2.
E !
I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like A Sanctimonious, Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe
In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.
I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I
IM
Don’t Require Sacrifices And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay?
Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey-Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re
T
Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.
4. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As
E
For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off
The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
V
5. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B******.
A
6. I’d Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better
Spent (Take Your Pick)
H
A. Ending Poverty
B. Curing Diseases
C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable.
’T
I Might Be A Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
7. I’d Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You’re Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love
N
Your Fellow Man, Can’t You Take A Hint?
8. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of
O
Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of
Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly, It’s A Piece Of Rubber. If I Didn’t Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or
D
Something.
9. Missing, presumed dropped.
10. Missing, presumed dropped.
11. Try Pastafarianism for 30 days.
“If you don’t like us, your old religion will most likely take you back.”
Thus concludes the sermon.
RAmen.
Sources
www.venganza.org
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Bobby Henderson, 2006)
See https://www.diigo.com/user/dedwardsitec/ictproject for more sites and sources.
