Kyra and I's mini-interlude on the Potters

1. A VERY POTTER INTERLUDE WITH A GUEST WRITER KYRA!

2. WARNINGS: LANGUAGE, NUDITY, ACTS OF JERKASS-NESS, CRYING

3. Heather: CHOCOLATE IS GOOD Heather: IT GIVES YOU ENERGY Kyra: CHOCOLATE IS VERY YUMMEH Heather: AND SUGAR CRASHES Heather: LIKE JAMES THE JERKASS Kyra: JAMES DESERVES SUGAR CRASHES Heather: HE TOTALLY DOES Heather: HE DESERVED TO BE SICK TOO Kyra: HE HAS TO HAVE THEM Heather: I IMAGINE HE HAS THEM OFTEN Heather: HE STEALS AL'S CHOCOLATE FROGS Heather: AND EATS THEM ALLLLL Kyra: HE CAN'T STAY AWAY FROM TEH CHOCOLATE Heather: NO ITS AN ADDICTION Heather: AND MASRHMELLOWS Kyra: SMORES Heather: HE EATS ALL THE JUNK FOOD TO BE A JERK Heather: HE NEVER SHARES EVAR Kyra: *GASP* Heather: LILY CRIED WHEN HE STOLE HER COOKIES Kyra: HE'S A MEENIE Heather: LILY ALWAYS CRIES Heather: JAMES MAKES HER Heather: IT IS FUN FOR HIM

4. Heather: HE TIMES HIMSELF Kyra: JAMES IS A GIANT JERKASS Kyra: AND A MEENIE Heather: HIS RECORD IS TEN SECONDS Kyra: AND HE DESERVES IT Kyra: NO MAKING LILY CRY Kyra: SHE DOES IT HERSELF Heather: WHEN WE GO TO HOGWARTS YOU’RE GONNA BEAT HIM UP RIGHT? Kyra: YES Heather: JUNE WILL CRY Heather: AND LILY WILL TOO Kyra: TOO BAD Heather: JUNE WILL HOLD HIS HAND IN TEH HOSPITAL WING Heather: AND BRING HIM CHOCOLATE Kyra: NO CHOCOLATE Heather: MARSHMELLOWS? Heather: SHE WILL DO IT ANYWAYS Kyra: OH WELL Heather: THERE IS NO STOPPING HER Kyra: I'M STILL GONNA BEAT HIM UP Heather: OKAY Heather: BUT THEN LILY WILL CRY Heather: SHE ALWAYS CRYS

5. Heather: BECAUSE SHE LOVES HER JAMSIE Heather: I DUNNO WHY THOUGH Kyra: NOBODY DOES Heather: LILY DOES REMEMBER? Heather: JAMES DOESN'T LIKE IT Heather: IT MESSES UP HIS IMAGE Kyra: YES Heather: HAVING HIS LITTLE SIS CLINGING TO HIM Heather: NOT COOL LILY NOT COOL Heather: THATS WHAT HE TELLS HER Kyra: INO Kyra: BUT HE'S NOT COOL Heather: SHE TRIED TO FOLLOW HIM TO THE BATHROOM ONCE Kyra: EW Heather: JAMES WAS PISSED Heather: HE SHOVED HER Heather: OUT OF THE BATHROOM Heather: SHE SLID IN THE HALLWAY Heather: AND CRASHED INTO A WALL Kyra: NOEZ Heather: YESH Heather: THAT SMILY LOOKS KINDA LIKE LILY WHEN SHE CRIES Kyra: WAHH Heather: SHE JUST LIFTS HER HEAD

6. Heather: AND CRIES Kyra: AND CRIES AND CRIES AND CRIES Heather: TILL GINNY COMES RUNNING Kyra: YESH Heather: JAMES SIRIUS POTTER WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING? Heather: YOU CAN NOT TREAT YOUR SISTER LIKE THAT Heather: BUT MOM SHE TRIED TO FOLLOW ME TO THE BATHROOM! Heather: THAT IS NOT THE POINT JAMES Heather: YOU ARE GROUNDED Heather: NO CHOCOLATE, OR FOOD, OR ANYTHING Kyra: THE POINT IS THAT YOU CAN'T HIT YOUR SISTER Heather: YOU WILL SIT IN THAT CHAIR OVER IN THE CORNER Heather: THE CHAIR IS WHERE JAMES SPENT HALF OF HIS CHILDHOOD Kyra: MORE THAN HALF Heather: PRETTY MUCH HIS ENTIRE CHILDHOOD Heather: ALBUS SAT THERE ONCE Kyra: NOES Kyra: WHY Heather: BECAUSE HE WAS DARED Heather: TO DO SOMETHING Heather: WHEN GINNY FOUND OUT Kyra: JAMES IS MEEN Heather: JAMES SAT THERE FOR A WEEK

7. Kyra: WHAT DID HE DO Heather: HE DARED ALBUS TO PUT HARRYS WAND IN THE FIREPLACE Heather: ALBUS ALMOST DID IT Heather: GINNY FOUND HIM Heather: JUST IN TIME Kyra: GOOD Kyra: THAT'S HARRY'S WAND Heather: JAMES WAS MAD Heather: BECUASE THE CHAIR WAS HARD Heather: HIS BUTT HURT AFTER THE FIRST 2 DAYS Kyra: NO SOFT CHAIRS FOR HIM Heather: ALBUS WAS ALLOWED TO SIT ON A PILLOW Heather: BECAUSE IT WAS HIS FIRST OFFENSE Kyra: THAT'S GOOD Heather: HE NEVER SAT THERE AGAIN Heather: NEVAR Heather: HE ALWAYS DOES HIS HOMEWORK Heather: NEVER GETS DETENTIONS Heather: PLAYS WITH LILY Kyra: HE'S GOOD Heather: SHE DOESN'T LIKE ALBUS THOUGH Kyra: NOES Heather: HES TOO NICE FOR HER Heather: JAMES IS MOAR INTERESTING TO LILY

8. Kyra: BUT HE'LL TURN HER TO THE DARK SIDE Heather: MAYBEZ Kyra: HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE COOKIES Heather: MAYBE NOT Heather: HE ATE THEM ALL Heather: LILY STILL WANTS SOME LETTUCE Kyra: LETTUCE Kyra: AND CHEEZ Heather: YES YES Kyra: IZ YUMMEH Heather: CHEEZBISCUITS! Heather: THATS WHAT AL SAYS INSTEAD OF SWEARING Kyra: YESH Heather: WHENEVER SOMEONE SWEARS HARRY PUTS HIS HANDS OVER AL'S EARS Kyra: IT'S A GOOD REPLACEMENT FOR SWEARING Heather: PROTECT HIS VIRGIN EARS! Heather: GINNY DOES LILY'S Kyra: I BET JAMES SWEARS ALL THE TIME Heather: HE TOTALLY DOES Heather: HE HAS THE MOST EXPLICIT WORDS Kyra: DOBBY'S SOCK Heather: DUMBLEDORE'S BEARD Kyra: HAGRID'S BUTTCRACK

9. Kyra: AHH I JUST GOT DEJA VU Heather: WIZARD SWEARS? Heather: BEST PPP EPISODE Heather: WELL ACTUALLY THEY'RE ALL THE BEST Kyra: BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP HIPPOPOTAMUS Heather: WE NEED MAOR WIZARD SWEARS Heather: WITH A BUCKET OF ****** Heather: IN A TOWER FAR FAR AWAY WHERE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU ******* ******** Heather: JAMES KNOWS THEM ALL Kyra: YESH Heather: WE NEED MOAR Heather: UNICORN TAILS Kyra: I'LL WATCH IT SOON Kyra: AS SOON AS I CAN KICK MY SISTER OFF THE COMPUTER WITH SOUND Heather: "JUST GO AWAY AL, IN A TOWER FAR FAR AWAY WHERE NO CAN HEAR YOU ***** *********** *****! Kyra: JAMES! Kyra: YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! Heather: HOW LONG DID HE HAVE TO SIT ON THE CHAIR FOR THAT? Kyra: LIKE A MONTH Heather: I BET HIS FIRST WORD WAS A SWEAR WORD Kyra: YESH Kyra: THAT WOULD BE PERFECT

10. Heather: "BUDY HELL!" Kyra: HE GOT IT FROM RON Heather: I WAS JUST GONNA SAY THAT Heather: GINNY CURSED RON SO MUCH Heather: HE HAD TO GO TO ST MUNGOS Kyra: OH NOES Kyra: BUT HE GOT OUT REALLY QUICK Heather: TO GET THE BAT BOGEYS OFF A CERTAIN AREA Heather: WHICH HE DOES NOT DISPLAY TP THE PUBLIC Kyra: I KNOW Heather: HERMIONE SAW IT Heather: SHE WAS HORRIFIED Kyra: HORRIFIED Heather: WHAT IS THAT RON? Kyra: OHMIGOD IT'S - Heather: ITS- Kyra: I CAN'T EVEN SAY IT Heather: RON HAD TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH Kyra: IT'S TERRIBLE Kyra: THE COUCH IS ALL WORN AND OLD AND IT SMELLS LIKE WIZARD FARTS Heather: IT DOES Kyra: AND RON BROKE IT Heather: HE FINALLY GOT IT FIXED THOUGH

11. Heather: HE WAS ALL NERVOUS Heather: AND SWEATY Kyra: HE COULDN'T USE HIS WAND Heather: THE HEALER WAS A WOMAN Heather: IN HER 20S Kyra: YEAH Kyra: HE GOT EMBARASSED Heather: RON WOULD NOT TAKE OFF HIS PANTS WHEN SHE ASKED Kyra: AND HE WANTED A GUY HEALER Heather: SHE HAD TO BRING IN MORE HEALERS Heather: TO DO IT FOR HIM Heather: THERE WERE NO GUY HEALERS WORKING THAT DAY Kyra: AND HE ALMOST FAINTED Heather: I THINK HE DID Heather: SO SHE CURED HIM Heather: IT TOOK 3 SECONDS Kyra: AND HE RAN AWAY Heather: RON WOKE UP IN AN EMPTY ROOM Heather: WITH HIS PANTS OFF Heather: NONE THERE Heather: THEN HE RAN AWAY Kyra: AND HE COVERED HIS BITS WITH HIS HANDS Heather: LIKE YOU SAID Heather: RUNNING AND SHRIEKING

12. Kyra: SO NOBODY WOULD SEE THEM Heather: HE DIDN’T HAVE HIS WAND Heather: SO HE COULDN'T APPARATE Kyra: IT WAS TERRIFYING Heather: HE FORGOT HIS HOUSE KEY Kyra: LOTS OF PEOPLE SAW HIM Heather: SO HE WENT TO HARRYS HOUSE Heather: LILY OPENED THE DOOR Kyra: AND SCREAMED Heather: THEN.... Heather: SHE CRIED Heather: SHE WAS SACRED Heather: *SCARED Kyra: AND SHE SLAMMED THE DOOR Heather: CRYING Kyra: IN RON'S FACE Heather: SHE HAD NIGHTMARES EVER SINCE Heather: WHICH IS WHY SHE CRIES AT NIGHT Heather: PART OF THE REASON ANYWAYS Kyra: HARRY WOULDN'T LET RON COME OVER FOR MONTHS Heather: HE MISSED CHRISTMAS Heather: THAT YEAR Heather: NO TURKEY Heather: ALL ALONE AT HOME

13. Heather: HERMIONE AND THE KIDS WERE AT HARRY'S Heather: EVERYTHING WAS AKWARD Kyra: AND LILY WAS HIDING Heather: LILY WAS MAD THAT EVERYONE WAS SAD Heather: SHE WANTED TO CHEER THEM UP Heather: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN CHILDREN COMPETING IN A PAGENT? Heather: SHE DANCED LIKE THEM Kyra: YEAH Heather: ALKL PROVOCATIVE Heather: CUZ THATS WHAT THEY DO IN PAGENTS Heather: RIPPING OFF A VELCRO SKIRT Kyra: AND SHE MADE IT MORE AWKWARD Heather: AND SWIGING IT AROUND Heather: WIGGLING HER NON- EXISTENT HIPS Kyra: AL AND HUGO WENT AWAY Heather: JAMES WAS LAUGHING Kyra: THEY DIDN'T WANT TO SEE Heather: HE THOUGH IT WAS FUNNY Heather: HARRY WAS COVERING HIS EYES Heather: AND GINNY'S TOO Kyra: HERMIONE WAS TRYING TO GET LILY TO STOP Heather: ROSIE WAS HIDING BEHIND HER BOOK Heather: LILY DIDN'T WANT TO STOP Kyra: SHE WAS HAVING FUN

14. Heather: SO MUCH FUN Heather: SHE DID IT IN PUBLIC TOO Heather: SHE TOOK TO WEARING A BATHING SUIT UNDER HER CLOTHES Heather: SO WHEN SHE DID HER SKIRT ROUTINE YOU WOULDN'T SEE ANYTHING Kyra: BUT HARRY AND GINNY STOPPED LETTING HER GO PLACES Kyra: EXCEPT SCHOOL Heather: YES Heather: WAIT SHES NOT OLD ENOUGH TO GO TO SCHOOL Heather: IM THINKING SHE WENT TO MUGGLE SCHOOL Kyra: YES Heather: SHE DID HER ROUTINE THERE Heather: THE KIDS LOVED IT Heather: JUNE IS ON! Kyra: INO Heather: OKAYZ Heather: I WILL TELL HER ABOUT THE SKIRT ROUTINE Heather: AND POST THIS ON LJ. Heather: YOU WILL BE FMOUS Kyra: OKAY Heather: YAYZ