This document is a satirical guide that draws comparisons between redneck culture and Silicon Valley culture. It provides over 20 examples of similarities between the two cultures by citing sources and images. The examples show connections between key people, interests, and products including references to Bill Engvall, Larry Ellison, Twitter, Linux, NASCAR, bass fishing, Farmville, Burning Man, mullets, Crocs, beer, and bacon. It concludes that what Silicon Valley needs is more redneck influence.