Presentation to the Project 13! group at Tacoma's Oasis Youth Center

1. Raising Kids in a Digital World
Holly Gerla & Sam Harris, Ethics 4 a Digital World
Emily McMason, Evolving Parents

2. Who are you raising right now?
What are your biggest concerns?

3. Brain Anatomy 101

4. The bestpart of parenting today is what we know from
studying the brain.

5. It can also feel like the worst...
20%
80%

6. 20%
80%
Our job for the next decade (or more) is to be their prefrontal cortex.

7. The issues:
• Pre-frontal cortex isn’t fully online
• The ‘brakes’ aren’t wired
• The gas pedal is floored

8. The result:
We spend a lot of time asking “what were you thinking?”.
“I don’t know” is the response. They aren’t kidding.
Because…they have “less control over impulsive behavior, less
understanding of the consequences, and fewer tools to stop the
behavior.”
Neuroscientist Frances Jensen

9. The result:
“...adolescents aren’t reckless because they underestimate
risks, but rather because they overestimate rewards
– something that can be partially attributed to the fact that the
reward centers of the adolescent brain are much more active
than those of children or adults.”
Ellen Kate, everyday feminism

10. The solution:
• Tell them short term consequences, not long term
ramifications. They aren’t planners. It won’t hook them.
• Shock & awe – give them the jolt to pay attention &
memorize results.
• Be their brakes through the rules you have.

11. access:
What apps are your kids using? What are the age requirements for
each one?
• = 13 and *
• = 14
• = 16
• = 17
• = 18, or 13-17 w/ parents’ permission.

12. LGBTQ Youth Online:
• Project 13!
• TrevorSpace ages 13 - 24
• Out Online: The Experiences of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and
Transgender Youth on the Internet (GLSEN, 2013)
some key statistics...
LGBT youth reported high rates of civic engagement online,
including having taken part in an online community that supports a
cause or issues (77%), gotten the word out about a cause or an issue
(76%), written a blog post or posted comments on another blog about a
cause or an issue (68%) and used the Internet to participate in or
recruit people for an event or activity (51%)
The overwhelming majority of LGBT youth in this
study (68%) had engaged in volunteering as well
as online/text-based civic activities in the past year.
50% of LGBT youth reported having at least one
close online friend, compared to only 19% of non-
LGBT youth
1 in 4 LGBT youth (29%) said they were more out
online than in person
LGBT youth were five times as likely as non-LGBT
youth to have searched for information online on
sexuality or sexual attraction as non-LGBT youth
(62% vs. 12%)
LGBT youth were nearly three times as likely as non-
LGBT youth to say they had been bullied or
harassed online (42% vs. 15%) and twice as likely
to say they had been bullied via text message (27%
vs 13%)

13. boundaries:
For tweens & teens:
• No computers, phones, iThings in bedrooms.
• No texting / calling in the car.
• Ideally, no screens 90-120 minutes before bed.
• No (extra) media during homework.
• Know all their passwords.
• Follow & read their digital messages.

14. boundaries:
Establish expectations early, but it’s never too late
Contract examples:
Common Sense Media
● media use guidelines for K-5, 6-9, 9-12
● customizable device contract
Jo Langford, MA
● teen guidelines (many specific to boys)

15. instead:
• Weekday... first ___ / then___ expectations.
• Weekend family (fun!) options:
o Game nights.
o Rural walks / hikes.
o Reading times.
o Urban outings.
• Media literacy: consumption, creation, communication.

16. THE COMMON SENSE CENSUS: MEDIA USE BY TWEENS AND TEENS, 2015

17. Why does media use matter?
Because it has a huge impact on non-media aspects of life.
• Attention:
• see vs. watch and think
• 20 second rule
• Fire it to wire it

18. Why does media use matter?
Sleep:
• 10 hours until age 10, then 9.5 hours
• Remember the nearly 9 & 6 hours of daily entertainment media?
• Chronic missed sleep leads to:
o depression
o acne
o aggressive behavior
o cognitive problems
o learning difficulties

19. Why does media use matter?
Obesity:
o sitting, and sitting in front of a screen or not the same.
o Screen time messes with appetite.
o Kids ate more meals on screen days
o They ate more calories at each meal
o They ate fewer veggies.
o And they reported feeling less hungry before the meal

20. The biggest issues we see...
● Multitasking Myths
● Consumption vs. Creation
● Evaluation of Media for Personal Use

21. What’s actually going on in your brain?
“Multitasking reduces your efficiency and performance because
your brain can only focus on one thing at a time. When you try
to do two things at once, your brain lacks the capacity to
perform both tasks successfully.” (Forbes, 2015)
Multitasking Myths

22. Consumption vs. Creation

23. Evaluation of Media
S start with someone / something you trust
L listen to your instincts
O observe others around you. What are they
doing? Why?
W wisdom - journal your experiences, collect your
own wisdom.

24. The Newest Research and Data
● AAP Guidelines: Media and Children (update coming Oct. 2016)
● Kids and Screen Time: A Peek at Upcoming Guidance (NPR
1/6/2016)
● How Teens Share Information on Social Media (PEW)
● Common Sense Media Census 2015 (Full Report) (Handy InfoGraphic)
● Common Sense Media Parent Concerns

25. More Resources/Links
Browser add-ons or extensions:
• AdBlock Plus
• A Cleaner Internet
• Simple Profanity Filter (for Chrome)
• Ghostery (identify and block trackers)
• Lightbeam (for Firefox)
• Web of Trust
Articles to Check Out:
• The Complete Guide to Anonymous Apps
• Top Social Networks & Apps Your Kids Use
Whatever devices or networks you use, every family is
slightly different. If you’re looking for other tools to help
you manage equipment, wifi, devices, etc. try a Google
search using “parental controls” in the search string. And
check with your internet service provider (ISP) for what
controls they have available for your in-home networks.
Organizations to Follow:
• Common Sense Media - (Facebook, Twitter)
• Family Online Safety Institute - (Facebook, Twitter)
• Pew Internet & American Life Project - (Facebook,
Twitter)
Adolescent Development:
• Julie Metzger, RN, MN and Robert Lehman, MD,
Great Conversations
• Robin Wright, The Wright Conversations
• Amy Lang, Birds + Bees + Kids
• Jo Langford, Be Heroes
• Sex, etc. (Rutgers University)
Find even more links on our website. And “Like” us on
Facebook or follow on Twitter for more current
information. Thanks for attending our workshop!
Sam and Holly - Ethics 4 a Digital World - (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest)
Emily - evolving parents - (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram)

26. Books!
• Bazelon, Emily - Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and
Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy
• boyd, danah - It's Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens
• Damour, Lisa, PhD - Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven
Transitions into Adulthood
• Englander, Elizabeth - Bullying and Cyberbullying: What Every Educator Needs to
Know
• James, Carrie - Disconnected: Youth, New Media, and the Ethics Gap
• Jensen, Frances E. MD - The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist's Survival Guide to
Raising Adolescents and Young Adults
• Steinberg, Laurence, PhD - Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of
Adolescence
• Wiseman, Rosalind - Masterminds & Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with
Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy
World

27. Q&A