Small talk can be a big problem. I want to be friendly and polite, but I just can’t think of a thing to say.

1. Struggle To Make Small Talk?

2. Small talk can be a big problem. I want to be friendly
and polite, but I just can’t think of a thing to say.
Here are some strategies I try when my mind is a blank:

3. 1. Comment
on a topic
common to
both of you
at the
moment:
the food
the
room
the
occasion
the weather
(yes, talking about the
weather is a cliche,
but it works)

4. 2. Comment on a topic of general interest.
A friend scans Google News right before he goes anywhere
where he needs to make small talk.

5. 3. Ask a question that people can
answer as they please.
It’s useful because it
allows people to choose
their focus (work,
volunteer, family, hobby).

6. 4. Ask open questions
that can’t be answered
with a single word.

7. 5. If you do ask a question that can be answered
in a single word, instead of just supplying your
own information in response,
ask a follow-up question.

8. 6. Ask getting-to-know-you questions.
These questions often reveal a hidden passion,
which can make for great conversation.

9. 7. React to what a person says in the spirit in
which that comment was offered. If he makes a joke,
even if it’s not very funny, try to laugh. If she offers
some surprising information, react with surprise.

10. 8. Be slightly inappropriate.
(I can’t use this strategy, myself, because
I don’t have the necessary gumption).

11. 9. Follow someone’s conversational lead.
If someone obviously drops in a reference to
a subject, pick up on that thread.

12. 10. Along the same lines,
counter-intuitively,
don’t try to talk about
your favorite topic,
because you’ll be tempted
to talk too much.
Blah!
Blah!
Blah!

13. Download My Free
Habits Manifesto
SIGN UP HERE
Learn more tips for a happier life and healthier habits
at GretchenRubin.com