This document discusses effective communication within families. It covers four main topics: 1) nurturing and controlling roles in family communication, 2) understanding the five love languages to express love to children, 3) common mistakes in family communication like making assumptions and using negative communication patterns, and 4) tips for effective communication such as empathizing, using "I" messages instead of "you" messages, and actively listening. The overall message is that good communication takes effort but is important for building strong family relationships.

1. Effective Communication With Your Child By: Herald C. Cruz

2. This is My Family

3. Today’s communication technology

4. And still, so much MISCOMMUNICATION prevails!

5. People who truly love each other cannot understand each other. Just Imagine…

6. The family can be… the greatest source of JOY and… the greatest source of STRESS

7. What does a family with healthy communication Look like? Discussion:

8. “Parent-child closeness is associated with reduced adolescent pregnancy risk through teens remaining sexually abstinent, postponing intercourse, having fewer sexual partners, and using contraception more consistently “ Miller, B. C., Benson, B., & Galbraith, K. A. (2001). Family relationships and adolescent pregnancy risk: A research synthesis. Developmental Review, 21, 1–38. Communication matters

9. I. Family Communication: Nurture and Control II. Communicating Your Love: The Five Love Languages III. Common Mistakes in Family Communication IV. Tips for Effective Communication Outline:

10. I. Family Communication: Nurture and Control (Family Communication: Nurturing and Control in a Changing World by Beth A. Le Poire)

11. We all play a variety of roles in our lives

12. Parenting Role #1: Nurture Nurturing Roles Providers Nurturers Health Care Providers, etc

13. Parenting role #2: Control Controlling Roles Behavior control Decision making Family boundary maintenance Financial Organization

14. Nurture and Control Quadrants

15. Nurturing Communication

16. Controlling Communication

17. Nurture and Control Quadrants

18. II. Communicating Your Love: The Five Love Languages

19. Love Tank = Emotional Bank Acct Deposits & Withdrawals Theory: 5 deposits = 1 withdrawal Primary Language

20. “Thanks for helping me.” “Ang galing mo!” “Great job!.” “Okay ka talaga anak.” 1. Words of Affirmation

21. 2. Gifts

22. 3. Acts of Service

23. 4. Quality Time

24. 5. Physical Touch (lambing)

25. 30 Second Self-Assessment I feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do (Words of Affirmation) I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me (Quality Time) I feel especially loved by someone who brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love (Gifts) I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me by running errands or taking on my household chores (Acts of Service) I feel especially loved when a person expresses feelings for me through “lambing” (Physical Touch)

26. How to spot your child’s love language 1. Observe how your child expresses love to you. 2. Observe how your child expresses love to others. 3. Listen to what your child requests most often. 4. Listen to your child’s most frequent complaints. 5. Give your child a choice between two options.

27. I. Family Communication: Nurture and Control II. Communicating Your Love: The Five Love Languages III. Common Mistakes in Family Communication IV. Tips for Effective Communication Outline:

28. Charades

29. III. Common Mistakes in Communication

30. 1. Not seeing the whole picture

31. 7% - Words 38% - Tone 55% - Body language 38% + 55% = 93% Non-verbal! http://lifecoachesblog.com/2006/03/13/words-are-only-7-of-your-communication/ Communication is…

32. Samples of non-verbal communication What feeling does this boy communicate?

36. 2. Wrong Assumptions

39. SHAMING/ HUMILIATING sense of self-worth is shattered

40. IV. Tips for Effective Communication

41. Know how to listen with your heart Tip #1. EMPATHIZE

52. Tip #2. USE THE "I" VS. THE "YOU" MESSAGE Goal: Learning to focus on one’s feelings versus on the fault the other

55. Conveys criticism

57. Non-Blaming Describes the child’s behavior that interferes with you Expresses how you feel about the behavior/or what you want to happen “I” - Message

58. How to construct an I-MESSAGE 1.Describe the behavior. “When you….” 2. State your feelings about the consequence of the behavior. “…I feel…” 3. State the reason. “…because….”

59. STOP what you are doing LOOK them in the eyes LISTEN attentively Tip #3. ACTIVELY LISTEN

60. Actively listening through an “Open response” acknowledge feelings accept & understand deny set aside feelings unwilling to accept encouraged to say more belittled, rejected will not speak again OPEN RESPONSE CLOSED RESPONSE

61. A little exercise... Forget it! She didn’t mean it, anyway. You’re really angry with her, huh? I’ll never play with her again!

62. Stop complaining and just do it! It seems very difficult for you at the moment. I can’t get my homework!

63. We’ve discussed this before. Stop being makulit! It seems you are feeling we are being unfair to you. Why can’t I go with you? He always gets to go.

64. CONCLUSION Communication matters Good communication takes a LOT of effort, but it can make or break our relationships

65. Open Forum