The night before term starts

1. What they didn’t
tell you

2. About teaching

3. Twas the night before term starts

4. And all through the house

5. Not a creature will be stirring

6. Except you still marking

7. Whilst your
friends
have a life

8. You won’t!

9. You suddenly find yourself saying

10. “I can’t not on
a school night”

11. “Friends become distant acquaintances

12. That you catch up with Christmas and Birthdays

13. You find yourself telling people the same
thing in three different ways

14. When it’s the
end of term
When it’s
the
end of term

15. You won’t be
doing this

16. You will be
doing this

17. Or this

18. Teaching is like being a comedian

19. Your audience expects to be
entertained

20. So expect heckling at every opportunity

21. Punters to
talk over you

22. Continual trips to the loo

23. The aroma of
stale B.O.

24. Rustling of
stashed crisp
packets

25. And if you are
really nervous

26. They CAN smell your fear

27. And will turn into this

28. You must
always be
positive

29. Even when
you want to
do this

30. When you go shopping

31. Spotting you
will be the
highlight of
their day

32. Except they
don’t want
your
autograph

33. They are just amazed you are actually
a real person

34. If you are really hated or loved it will
like having your own paparazzi

35. With your shopping trip documented on
You Tube

36. So drive 40 miles away if you want any
of these

37. Or these

38. And you will need to find alternatives to
swear words
Fudge it!
Shoot
Oh Billiards

39. And learn a whole new version of the
English language
You gypsy
Chav
That’s so
gay
Minger

40. But there are positives!

41. You get to watch interesting student
debates

42. Attend inspiring meetings

43. Enjoy the thrill of not being listened too
all day

44. Being spoken to like a piece of …

45. Endure teenage hormones that even
parents don’t want to put up with

46. Have your performance constantly measured

47. But the ultimate in pleasure has to be . .

48. Just when
you get
teaching
sussed out

49. You get a
new
Government
initiative

50. That was ditched 15 years ago for what
reason?

51. So why teach?

52. For love?

53. For respect?

54. For money?

55. The excellent pension?

56. NO ?

57. Well there is a credit
crunch!

58. And finally
what do you
call a group of
like minded
teachers?

59. A whinge!

60. Jacqueline Hicks
© 2008
www.sheldonict@live.co.uk