Improve ability to listen

1. Listening
By Dr. Glen Christie
Spiritual Inspiration Center
Christ’s Church
the process of receiving, constructing
meaning from, and responding to a
spoken and/ or non-verbal message

2. The Process
of Listening

3. Hearing vs.
 Do you think there is a
difference between hearing
and listening?
Hearing is simply the act of
perceiving sound by the ear.
If you are not hearing-impaired,
hearing simply
happens.

4. Hearing vs.
 Listening, however, is
something you consciously
choose to do. Listening
requires concentration so
that your brain processes
meaning from words and
sentences.
 Listening leads to learning.

5. Types of
Listening

6. Appreciative Listening
- listening for pleasure and enjoyment, as
when we listen to music, to a comedy
routine, or to an entertaining speech
- describes how well
speakers choose and
use words, use humor,
ask questions. tell
stories, and argue
persuasively

7. Empathetic Listening
- listening to provide emotional support for the
speaker, as when a psychiatrist listens to a
patient or when we lend a sympathetic ear to a
friend
- focuses on
understanding and
identifying with a
person’s situation,
feelings, or motives

8. Empathetic Listening
- listener does not necessarily agree or feel
the same way with the speaker instead
understand the type and intensity of
feelings the speaker is experiencing
without judgment
- there is an attempt
to understand
what the other
person is feeling

9. Comprehensive/Activ
e Listening
- listening to understand the message of a
speaker, as when we attend a classroom
lecture or listen to directions for finding a
friend’s house

10. Comprehensive/Active
Listening
- focuses on accurately understanding
the meaning of the speaker’s words
while simultaneously interpreting non-verbal
cues such as facial expressions,
gestures, posture, and vocal quality

11. Reasons for Active
 Avoid saying the wrong thing
 Dissipates strong feelings
 Helps other to accept feelings
 Generates a feeling of caring
 Encourages others to start listening back
 Increase confidence in the other
 Makes other feel important & recognized

12. Roadblocks to Active
Warning
Judging
Labeling
Threatening
Demanding
Giving solutions
Criticizing
Name-calling
 Directing
 Lecturing
 Ordering
 Preaching
 Ridiculing
 Blaming
 Scolding
 Analyzing

13. Critical/ Analytical
- focuses on evaluating whether a
message is logical and reasonable

14. Critical/ Analytical
Listening
 asks you to make judgments based on
your evaluation of the speaker’s
arguments
 challenges the speaker’s message by
evaluating its accuracy and
meaningfulness, and utility
 uses critical thinking skills

15. 8 Commandments of
Effective Listening
 Stop talking! Consciously focus your attention on the
speaker.
 Put the speaker at ease: Relax, smile, look at the speaker
and help that person feel free to talk. Look and act
interested.
 Remove distractions: turn off the TV; close the door; stop
what you are doing, and pay attention.
 Listen for what is not said. Ask questions to clarify the
meaning of words and the feelings involved, or ask the
speaker to enlarge on the statement.

16. 8 Commandments of
Effective Listening
 Be aware of "tune out" words. Avoid arguing mentally.
Listen to understand, not to oppose.
 Be patient. Don't interrupt the speaker.
 Hold your temper! Try to keep your own emotions from
interfering with your listening efficiency.
 Empathize with the speaker. Try to "walk in the other's
moccasins" so you can feel what that person is feeling and
understand the point of view the speaker is trying to
convey.

17. 8 Commandments of
Effective Listening
 Find areas of interest.
The Poor Listener: Tunes out dry topics.
The Good Listener: Seizes opportunities: "What's in it for me?"
 Judge content, not delivery.
The Poor Listener: Tunes out if delivery is poor.
The Good Listener: Judges content, skips over delivery errors.
 Hold your fire.
The Poor Listener: Tends to enter into argument.
The Good Listener: Doesn't judge until comprehension is
complete.

18. 8 Commandments of
Effective Listening
 Listen for ideas.
The Poor Listener: Listens for facts.
The Good Listener: Listens for central theme.
 Be a flexible note taker.
The Poor Listener: Is busy with form, misses content.
The Good Listener: Adjusts to topic and organizational pattern.

19. 8 Commandments of
Effective Listening
 Resist distractions.
The Poor Listener: Is distracted easily.
The Good Listener: Fights or avoids distractions; tolerates bad habits
in others; knows how to concentrate.
 Keep your mind open.
The Poor Listener: Reacts to emotional words.
The Good Listener: Interprets emotional words; does not get hung up
on them.
 Thought is faster than speech; use it.
The Poor Listener: Tends to daydream with slow speakers.
The Good Listener: Challenges, anticipates, mentally summarizes,
weights the evidence, listens between the lines to tone and voice.

20. In Summary
Helpful Listening
 Listen to how something is said
 Be alert for what is left unsaid
 You can't hear if YOU do all the talking- Don't
talk too much
 Listen with empathy - See the situation from
speaker’s point of view -Try to put yourself in
speaker’s shoes
 Do not prepare what you are going to say in
response while the other person is speaking

21. In Summary
Helpful Listening
 Be courteous-don't interrupt
 Take notes if you worry about forgetting a
particular point
 Avoid stereotyping individuals by making
assumptions about what you expect them to
say-avoid your biases when you listen
 Listen carefully so that you will be able to
understand, comprehend & evaluate what is
said
 Use conscious effort-try to be aware of verbal
& nonverbal messages

22. In Summary
Physical Set up for Effective Listening
 Pick a quiet location
 Ask not to be disturbed
 Put the telephone on voicemail
 Remove distractions
 Create a comfortable atmosphere e.g.
lighting, temperature, etc.

23. In Summary
Mental Set up for Effective Listening
 Don’t prejudge
 Clear mind of other things
 Don’t formulate response while speaker is
talking
 Listen for both content & context
 If not mentally ready to listen-reschedule
conversation if possible

24. In Summary
Warnings
 Danger of misunderstanding the client’s
nonverbal behavior as well as spoken words
due to cultural differences or the client’s state
of disorganization.
 Imperative for the counselor not to assume
that they understand what the client means
by his spoken word or non-verbal behavior
and vice versa.
 It is best to clarify and make sure.

25. In Summary
Assigning “Meaning”
 It is important for you to understand the meaning a
person assigns to an event or an emotion. These can be
seen as any of the following:
 A Challenge – to be overcome
 A Loss – making change difficult or impossible
 A Gain – a sign that one is working to maximum ability
 A Punishment – penance for not doing something right
(or for doing something wrong) in the past
 A Reality – to be assessed and dealt with so that it can
be reduced to an acceptable level