How do you handle stress?

Question # 1
What are your
stress signals?

Examples of stress signals
 Your neck stiffens.
 Your lower back stiffens,
 Your stomach clenches.
This could, for example, make stooling difficult.
 Your palms sweat.
 Your skin itches.
https://hbr.org/2014/11/how-to-handle-stress-in-the-moment

Question # 2
How stressed are you?

How stressed
are you?
10
9
8
7
6
5
5
3
2
1
Very stressed
Not stressed

Question # 3
What stresses you? Why?

Topic 1 2 3 4 5
Pain in the body
Challenges related to sleep
Challenges related to moving about
Challenges related to eating
Challenges related to skin
How stressful do you find each of these?
5 = very stressful.

Topic 1 2 3 4 5
Being insecure
Being nervous
Having fear
Being sad
Being depressed
5 = very stressful.

Topic 1 2 3 4 5
Communication with spouse / girlfriend / boyfriend
Communication with children
Challenges related to childcare
Other challenges related to living situation
Communicaiton with own family or family of spouse
5 = very stressful.

Topic 1 2 3 4 5
Work content – including changes in work content
Work hours – including changes in work hours
Work spaces – including changes in work spaces
High demands from other people
Lack of influence on your job
5 = very stressful.

Topic 1 2 3 4 5
High personal demands for performance
High ambitions
Personal identity depends strongly on job
High speed in life
High degree of responsibility for other people
5 = very stressful.

Further inspiration
http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/how-do-you-manage-your-emotions
http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/exercsises-about-feelings

Question # 4
What is very important
to you now? Why?

Adapted from
http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/03/reduce-stress-by-pursuing-four-way-wins/
http://hbr.org/web/2013/06/assessment/are-you-focusing-on-whats-important
How would you prioritize the importance of these
4 areas of your life now? Why?
Priority from 1 to 4
How important is your work?
How important is your partnership?
How important are your friends / family?
How important is your self?

Questions to discover your values
http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/questions-to-discover-your-values

Question # 5
How often do you talk
about your stress with a
person you trust?

Talk to a loved one or counselor about
your stress. The very act of sharing can
provide a much-needed release of anger
and frustration.
http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/learn-to-relax-sleep-like-baby

Providing people with an opportunity
to talk about worries can have a
positive effect.
http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/oct12/vol70/num02/Eight-Things-Skilled-Teachers-Think,-Say,-and-Do.aspx

Recognize that you and your partner may have different
ways of dealing with stress, and there isn’t necessarily a
“right” way of coping. Try to accept those differences and
then find ways to accommodate one another.
For example, let a partner who needs downtime after work
have 30 minutes in front of the TV or on the treadmill, but
ask that partner to agree to engage more later — over
dinner or out for an afternoon stroll.
https://hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/

Question # 6
Do you have the skills to
solve challenges you have?

Challenges
Skills
Adapted from
http://lateralaction.com/articles/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi/
Kouzes, James N. & Posner, Barry Z.: ”The Leadership Challenge”, location 3547.

Frustration
Low self
confidence
Fatigue
Unsatisfaction
Effective
problem solving
Creative
problem solving
High self
confidence
Satisfaction
Exhaustion
Irrational
problem solving
Low self confidence
Illness
Adapted from
Jonathan Freedman and Donald Edwards.
Levine, Robert: A Geography of Time, location 3432.
Performance
Time pressure

https://twitter.com/Bill_Gross/status/557893658763341825

Stress
Anger
Aggressiveness
Frustration
Conflict
Change

Further inspiration
http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/tips-to-increase-motivation

Question # 7
Have you tried focusing
on your breath?

Taking 3 big breaths while being conscious
of your belly expanding and contracting
ignites your parasympathetic nervous system,
which induces a relaxation response.

Concentrating on the breathing process
immediately brings your attention to the
here and now and soothes your mind.
Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 246-247.

Source
Chade-Meng Tan: Search inside yourself.
http://youtu.be/r8fcqrNO7so minute 13.
Bring attention to your breath for
10 seconds. If your attention
wanders away, bring it back.

You can’t beat stress using the same techniques
that created the stress in the first place. Instead,
the key is to do less than you feel you want to.
Example
If you feel like breathing for 2 minutes, do it for
just 1 minute.
https://hbr.org/2013/11/reduce-your-stress-in-two-minutes-a-day/

http://www.calm.com/
http://raining.fm/

Question # 8
What about trying to count
down from 10 to 1?

http://youtu.be/k07apxbGjVA
Counting down from 10 to 1
is a surprisingly effective
relaxation technique.
Daniel Goleman

Question # 9
What kind of physical
exercise are you doing?

Even moderate physical activity can
lead to lower levels of stress.
http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/

http://www.imagebase.net/People/051-copy

http://www.imagebase.net/People/swimmer1

The healthier your body is, the
better it can function in all areas.

Question # 10
Do you make a to do list?

Things to do
https://hbr.org/2012/12/nine-ways-successful-people-de
To do list.
Place the most urgent tasks at the top.

The act of writing focuses the mind.

Question # 11
How often do you say no
to things you cannot do?

Learn to say no.
Sources
http://helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm
http://epn.dk/job/ECE4581578/her-er-den-virkelige-stress-faktor/

5 ways to say no
# 1: Count to 3 before saying no.
# 2: Suggest a later time or a smaller time commitment.
# 3: Suggest an alternative.
Example: If someone asks for a ride, you can say, ”You are welcome to borrow my bike.”
# 4: Suggest someone else instead.
# 5: Ensure the request has the right priority.
“Yes, I would be happy to do so. With my other commitments, I’m not sure I have time
to do as good a job as I would like. Can you help me decide what I might be able to
deprioritize?
http://jonathanbecher.com/2015/08/16/eight-ways-to-say-no/

Avoid that other people have unrealistic
expectations about what you can do for
them.
http://epn.dk/job/ECE4581578/her-er-den-virkelige-stress-faktor/

Question # 12
How good are you at
thinking positively?

Make a conscious effort towards
finding good things.
http://holistic-online.com/Stress/stress_learning-to-like.htm

You will be happier, healthier, and more
effective if you see the difficulties and
challenges you face as opportunities to
learn and grow.
http://hbr.org/tip?date=060513

When stress is getting you down, take a
moment to reflect on all the things you
appreciate in your life, including your
own positive qualities and gifts.

Question # 13
How often do you try to change
what you cannot change?

Many things in life are beyond our control -
particularly the behaviour of other people.
Rather than stressing out over them, focus
on the things you can control such as the
way you choose to react to problems.

If someone consistently causes stress in your
life and you can’t turn the relationship around,
limit the amount of time you spend with that
person or end the relationship entirely.

Focus on what you can control.
http://hbr.org/tip?date=083111

Further inspiration
https://www.scribd.com/doc/35046140/How-do-people-handle-the-unknown

Question # 14
How is your tone?

People, who use good tone, promote growth
for everybody, just as people who wield poor
tone can work against human brainpower.
http://www.brainbasedbusiness.com/2006/11/a_silent_killer_in_defense_of_5.html

Further inspiration
http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/dialogue-vs-discussion
http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/speaking-tips-15818774

Question # 15
How much sleep
are you getting?

Lost sleep impairs decision-making
capability and undercuts productivity.
http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/11/real-men-go-to-sleep/

Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as
your body.
Feeling tired will increase your stress because
it may cause you to think irrationally.

Question # 16
What kind of music can
help you reduce stress?

Further inspiration
http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/the-power-of-music-33790370

Question # 17
How often do you play?

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/benefits-of-play-for-adults.htm
Some possibilities to play
 Joke with other people.
 Play with a soccer ball.
 Play various games.
 Play with a pet, for example a dog.
 Play with children.

Question # 18
How often do you laugh?

The act of laughing helps your body
fight stress in a number of ways.

Google images search on the world “laughter”. October 13th, 2014.
http://images.google.com/

We laugh 30 or 40 times
more with people than we
do when we’re alone.
http://bigthink.com/videos/the-science-of-laughing
Robert Mankoff,
cartoonist.

The best form of relaxation is finding
and participating in something that
brings you joy.

Studies have shown that laughter can
alter your mood and soothe your
stress response.
http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/

http://www.brainleadersandlearners.com/humor/a-brain-on-laughter/
Humor alters chemicals within the
brain in ways that reduce stress.

Further inspiration
https://www.youtube.com/user/JustForLaughsTV/videos

Question # 19
Have you tried forgiving?

Research shows that forgiving people
helps us face challenges and overcome
the obstacles ahead.
http://uk.businessinsider.com/forgiveness-helps-relieve-stress-clear-the-mind-2015-1

In a study, researchers asked 3 groups this:
 They asked the 1st group to recall a time when they forgave the
person who'd offended them.
 They asked the 2nd group to recall a time when they hadn't forgiven
the person.
 They asked a 3rd group was asked to simply reflect on a neutral
experience, like catching up with a friend over coffee.
Then they had participants jump as high as they could without bending
their knees. Result: The 2nd group, who hadn't forgiven, did not jump as
high. They seemed to be physically weighed down.

Further inspiration
http://1stholistic.com/Reading/liv_bacci-improve-breathing.htm
http://www.brainleadersandlearners.com/general/the-brain-on-cortisol/
https://hbr.org/2014/10/why-leaders-dont-brag-about-successfully-managing-stress/
https://hbr.org/video/2851426216001/how-to-concentrate-under-pressure
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/07/mirabai-bush-gps-guide-work-and-mindfulness_n_2632379.html
http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22
http://www.scribd.com/doc/453881/Stress
http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/conflict-management-1537777
http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/how-do-you-manage-your-emotions

Thank you for your interest. For further inspiration
and personalized services, please feel welcome
to visit http://frankcalberg.com/
Have a great day.

How do you handle stress?

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How do you handle stress?