2. The Power of Observation is
all about seeing and hearing
everything around you but
remember you must FIRST
believe to see!
How can you look and not
see or listen and not hear?
What I want to do in this
series is teach you how to
see everything and hear
everything. In other words,
you will become a trained
observer.
3. Believing is seeing takes you out of your subconscious mind
and places your filters in the conscious mind.
Here the “Central You Concept” is disabled and you see and
hear everything as raw sensory data.
You see and hear everything first THEN you choose to
evaluate it or discard it - SNAPSHOT!
The other day I came out my back door and a Mocking Bird
immediately appeared no more than 5 feet from where I was
standing. I saw it immediately sitting in the bush besides my
door, not moving but simply watching me.
I FIRST saw it, then I observed its behavior, then I evaluated
it as something worthy of thought.
I know animals do not observe humans for the sake of
learning. There was some other reason the Mocking Bird
was so close and quiet.
I quickly deduced that it had a nest in the bush and was
standing guard over its nest.
4. Predatory animals do observe but not for the sake
of mere observation but because of hunting for
food.
A predatory animal has no ego like we humans. It
will not attack if there is a risk it will be injured.
You can not cajole it into attacking. It will observe
its prey first seeking to see if it is worthy of an
attack.
While camping in Utah one summer, I spotted a
mountain lion observing me in camp. It watched
me for about 20-minutes until I picked up my rifle
and turned toward it. It knew what a rifle was and
immediately took off.
I spotted the mountain lion because my filters are
in my conscious mind and I evaluated its behavior
realizing it was observing me as a hunter and not
as entertainment. The minute I seized my rifle it
was gone.
5. Carryovers From Part 1
1. Seeing is believing!
2. Early man relied on his conscious mind to judge “friend or
foe” encounters. Most of these encounters involved
FEAR!. Fear is reactionary and a result of instinct rather
than rational thought. Early man spent most of his life in
his conscious mind and his filters resided in his conscious
mind.
3. Modern man spends most of his life in his subconscious
mind and embraces a lustful lifestyle. His filters reside in
the subconscious mind. Lust causes self-centeredness
and hence his filters remove everything that is not self-
serving.
6. Let’s talk about filters and
how your subconscious mind
prevents you from
recognizing opportunities
On the right is sculpture of
Michelangelo's “Moses
Receiving the
Commandments on Mt.
Sinai” at the Church of S.
Pietro in Vincoli, Rome
sculpted for the tomb of Pope
Julius II.
What is unusual about it?
7. Here is the full view
of the bas-relief of
the tomb.
Why would
Michelangelo depict
Moses having horns
on his head?
8. Michelangelo depicted Moses with horns growing out
of his head; a fact that had stumped art historians for
centuries. Why? Here’s the answer:
“It happened, when Moses came down from
Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the
testimony in Moses' hand, when he came
down from the mountain, that Moses didn't
know that the skin of his face shone (was
radiant NIV) by reason of his speaking with
him.” (Exodus 34:29).
In Ancient Hebrew, the word radiant is “keren” and it is
also the word for “horns”. So the reason for the oddity
was a mistranslation of Exodus 34:29.
9. The one essential common element of all filters is
that they are all ATTENTION diverters. We have
spoken about attention earlier (also distraction);
what is very interesting is that filters are generally
viewed as bad when some are really very good.
I had a friend who lives in Chicago, fall on hard
times and needed assistance. When I got to him he
was living in a cheap hotel and had a room so small
when you put the key in the door you broke the
window (I slay me).
His room was about 50 feet from the Loop (the
overhead train that circles around Chicago). The
noise was deafening when the train went by, and it
went by often, but my friend had filtered it out.
Amazing, but when you thing about it, my friend
really does hear the train but yet he pays no
attention to it, so in actuality, it is like he doesn’t hear
it at all! So filters divert attention, and take away our
focus; so let’s talk about focus.
10. The Incredible Power of Focus
One of the more important points I have made has been the idea that you
really do create your own life and your own reality.
Many people, after continuing to experience the same old ups and downs
and personal dramas over many years, get to the point where they dismiss
this idea as charming but useless -- or just plain wrong. "If I'm creating this,
then I'm certainly not doing it on purpose," they say. "It sure seems like this
is HAPPENING to me, rather than that I'm creating it." They just assume
that it's all BS because "this and this and this and this are going on for me,
and I have no control over it, and anyone who thinks I'm creating this
doesn't understand what I'm going through." Essentially, they are resigning
themselves to becoming a victim of circumstances… the Central You!
We live in a universe of infinite complexity and many forces -- way too
many to keep track of – that operate on us. Yes, it is true that we are NOT
in control of everything that happens, because we are not in control of
most of those infinite other parts of the universe. In fact, the only thing you
have total and complete control over is...YOUR OWN MIND. That is, if you
learn how to exercise it.
11. Control over your mind gives you tremendous power. By exercising
control over your mind, you can get the rest of those infinite other parts of
the universe to begin to march in formation.
The person who says, "If I'm creating this, it certainly isn't on purpose," is
right. They are not creating what is happening to them "on purpose." Who
would purposely create failure, or bad relationships, or any other kind of
suffering? You can only do something that is not good for you, that is
harmful to you, if you do it subconsciously. This means if you are creating
something you don't want, you must be doing so subconsciously. Your
mind is running on automatic pilot, based on the "software" (subconscious
programming) installed when you were too young to know any better, by
parents, teachers, friends, the media, and other experiences and
influences. The key is to become more conscious, more aware...to get
yourself off automatic pilot. Once you do this, you stop creating all the
dramas and other garbage you don't want in your life.
How do you do this? One way is by remembering and using a very
important piece of wisdom. What is this important piece of wisdom? I'm
glad you asked…
12. Whatever you focus on manifests as reality in your life.
You are always focusing on something, whether you are aware of it or not.
If I spent some time with you, and heard your history, I could tell you what
you are focusing on. How? By looking at the results you are getting in your
life. The results are always the result of your focus.
The problem is this focus is usually not conscious focus; it's automatic or
subconscious focus. We subconsciously focus on something we don't want,
and then when we get it we feel like a victim and don't even stop to think
that we created it in the first place.
We don't realize we could choose to create something completely different
if we could only get out of the cycle of subconsciously focusing on
something other than what we want.
Focusing on what you do not want, ironically, makes it happen. Focusing on
not being poor makes you poor. Focusing on not making mistakes causes
you to make mistakes. Focusing on not having a bad relationship creates
bad relationships. Focusing on not being depressed makes you depressed.
Focusing on not smoking makes you want to smoke. And so on. I think you
get the idea. The mind will create what you focus on both GOOD and
BAD!!!
13. Focusing The Mind
The truth is your mind cannot tell the difference between something you
think about or focus on that you DO want, and something you think about
or focus on but do NOT want. The mind is a goal-seeking mechanism,
and an extremely effective one at that. Already, all the time, it is elegantly
and precisely creating exactly what you focus on. You are already a
World Champion Expert at creating whatever you focus on. You couldn't
get any better at it, and you don't need to get any better at it.
When you focus on anything, your mind says: "Okay, we can do that,"
and starts figuring out how to do it. It doesn't ask whether you're focusing
on it because you want it or because you do not want it. It ALWAYS
assumes you want what you focus on and then it goes and makes it
happen. The more frequent and the more intense the focus, the faster
and more completely you will create what you have focused on, which is
why intense negative experiences create intense focus on what you do
not want, and tend to make you re-create what you don't want, over and
over.
14. Conscious Intention
Most of the time, for most people, all the focusing and thinking is going by
at warp speed, on automatic, without much, if any, conscious intention.
Our job today is to learn how to direct this power by consciously directing
your focus to the outcomes you want. Once you do, everything changes.
This does, however, take some work, because at first you have to swim
upstream against the current of your old, unconscious habits, and the
current can be swift and strong. Trained observation actually teaches
you to focus on what you want.
First, you have to discover all the things you focus on that you do not
want, and I'm willing to bet there are quite a few -- way more than you
think. To the degree you're getting what you don't want, you are focusing,
albeit subconsciously, on what you don't want.
Spend some time over the next few weeks making a list of all the things
you do NOT want as you notice yourself thinking about them.
15. Second, you have to get very clear about what you DO want. Then, you
have to examine each of the things you want and be sure they are not just
something you do NOT want in disguise. For instance, saying "I want a
relationship where I am treated well" would not even be an issue if you had
not had relationships where you were not treated well, and even in making
this seemingly positive statement you are focusing on not wanting to be
mistreated. Saying "I want a reliable car" wouldn't even come up if you
weren't focusing on the fact that you don't want a car that breaks down and
needs a lot of repairs.
After you've sorted out the things you habitually focus on that you do not
want, and know what you do want, you have to begin to notice each time
you think about an outcome you do not want, and consciously change your
thinking, right in that moment, so you’re instead focusing on what you do
want. Remember, you do NOT have to avoid things to be happy and get
what you want. The urge to avoid something is a result of having had a
negative emotional experience regarding that thing, and trying to avoid
things requires you to focus on them, which tells your brain to create them.
Not good. You will be surprised how often you are thinking about what you
do not want, how difficult it is to catch yourself doing it every time, and --
most of all – how difficult it is to switch your thinking to what you DO want.
16. The solution?
Practice, practice, practice. Persistence, persistence, persistence!!!
It's a very good idea to write down what you want, very specifically, so that
your Fairy Godmother, were she to read it, would know exactly what to give
you without any additional explanation.
Then, read what you have written to yourself, preferably out loud, several
times a day, while seeing yourself, in your mind, already having what you
want.
Believing is seeing and not the other way around as the world teaches you!
Another way to change your focus is to ask questions. As an example, I'll
ask you one right now. What did you have for breakfast this morning? To
answer this question (even to just internally process the question), you had
to shift your focus from whatever your mind was focused on (hopefully, to
what I am teaching) to today's breakfast.
This means that to change your focus, all you have to do is...ask yourself a
question!
17. 3-Steps to Controlling Your Mind
1. Awareness
The first step to changing anything is becoming aware that it's
happening, especially if it's your mind. Pretend your mind is racing, and
you finally realize that you're thinking. Most people at this stage get
extremely frustrated and "try" to force their mind into submission. It
doesn't work! Why? Because, what you focus on expands. The more
frustrated you get, the more you're focusing on frustration, so you'll get
even MORE frustration and more thinking... on and on!
So the first step is to simply become "aware" of the fact that you're
thinking. Nothing more. When you notice that you're thinking, smile to
yourself, and say, "I just noticed myself thinking... interesting..." Now
notice what happens inside of you when you do this... something VERY
profound. If "I" just noticed "myself" thinking, perhaps there are really two
completely separate identities running your life? There is the "I" and
there is the "self."
18. The Power of Choice
The "I", is the real you...the intellect, the "I" behind the mind, that runs the
show, the heart, the soul, the true conscious being, the choice maker.
The "self" is the desires, emotions and will of the mind; if left to run the
show, it will run in endless circles until the edge of insanity.
The moment you do this, the moment you become "aware" - you are no
longer a slave to your mind. You have won. After you become aware... do
nothing, just lay there for 3 seconds and notice how it feels to be present
in who you really are, not the mind, but you, the "I" - there is a great
feeling of peace behind that presence in the "I."
Why?
Because when you are aware like this, you're aware of the power of your
choice making. You now have the power of choice.
19. 2. Relaxed Focus
"What you focus on expands." Now that you have become aware of your
thinking, all you have to do is "direct" your mind into a place that will bring
you into a deep, deep place of relaxation. Think about it, if before your
mind will relentlessly race into any direction you give it; why not pick a
direction that will give you peace and restful sleep? But, most people
don't know what that direction really is. It's really easy. If you focus on
anything your body does or feels subconsciously, you will begin to
become more and more relaxed.
For example your breathing, the feeling of the pillow on your head, the
sounds of nature outside (unless you live in the city), the warmth of your
body. These are all things that happen, yet your conscious mind doesn't
think about them. As you know, "What you focus on expands"... So what
would happen if you focused on something that is happening in your
"subconscious"? That's right, your conscious thinking would diminish, and
your subconscious mind would begin to take over the entire process of
you falling asleep! It really is that simple, and it works every time. The
easiest one is your breathing. And I promise you if you just try this
tonight, you will be shocked: "Wow! It worked!"
20. 3. Repetition
As I said, the easiest one to focus on is your breathing. In the beginning,
you'll find this easier said than done. Begin by taking your focus onto your
breathing. Take a deep breath in; hold it for a short while, slowly exhale.
Count "1“ Breathe in again; hold it shortly, exhale slowly, and count..."2" .
Why count? Because in the very beginning, you may find it challenging to
hold your focus. In fact, you'll be surprised as you may not even make it to
"5" the first time. This is because your subconscious ever-thinking mind will
butt in and interrupt.
You may randomly go off into a barrage of thoughts again. If this happens,
what do you do? Simply become aware, and begin focusing on your
breathing again. As you become aware, 2 or 3 times, your mind will give up.
When you get to "10" or "15" breaths you will feel a wave of relaxation in
your body. This is the silent "click" as your mind shifts from the high
frequency Beta brain-waves into Alpha brain-waves. Your subconscious
mind will do the rest! The following exercise will teach you how to see and
recognize things that are unworthy of attention, but still recognize that they
are there. In other words, attention will be paid to it and then discarded
CONSCIOUSLY.
21. EXERCISE #1
You look but you do not see: First of all, I want you to get a pencil and
paper and find a painting in your home. Place a chair in front of the
painting and write down everything you see. Do not stop until you have
listed at least 100 aspects of the painting. Be sure to look at every aspect
of the painting. Project yourself outside of your subconscious mind. This
exercise is designed to keep you in your conscious mind for observation
purposes. The way you perceive the painting is different then seeing the
painting. Seeing the painting is first, perception is second. Do you see
the difference? No one is asking you to tell us how you feel, just
recognize what is in the painting. Feelings are from the subconscious
mind; reality is conscious. Stick with reality when you see.
A women will list the emotional aspects of the painting such as, “the colors
are warm” or maybe, “the women are dressed nicely and trying to impress
the men.” Here you will begin to see that you are allowing emotions to
take over. Look physically at the painting. Yes, note the colors but not
how they make you feel.
22. Men have a tendency to list the physical aspects such as,
“It takes place in this big field” or maybe, “The picture is
rectangular and in a very ugly frame.” Men have it easier
in this exercise than women because men employ their
psyches in the physical and intellectual planes. Women
employ their psyches on an emotional and spiritual plane.
In this exercise I want both men and women to list only
their physical observations. It doesn’t matter which
painting you use; writing down 100 aspects is pretty
simple once you get the hang of it.
THINK outside the envelope of emotions. Look and
observe and try to see what is there. If you continue to do
this often, with different paintings, you will find that
wherever you go you will begin to pick out details that
eluded you in the past WITH NO EMOTIONAL
BAGGAGE ATTACHED.
Pretty soon, with some good effort, you will begin to look
at pictures as a snapshot in your mind and pick out all of
the details.
23. Remember what I said, “I spoke earlier about the pictures of the heart.
These pictures are your belief system. We animate these pictures into
either fantasies or visions.
A newborn baby, suffering from neglect from its mother, does not have
language to express his/her anguish. Even when it develops language
and ages, the baby cannot consciously remember the neglect, but the
pictures stored in his/her subconscious are still there and manifest
themselves by affecting the thought process.
After the thought process I have described, we express these fantasies, or
visions, through action, which in turn, is called behavior and conduct.
Past experience plays a very major part in present behavior/conduct, but
not all childhood traumas translates into adult behavior.
Another such action is words! Except for love, the power of words,
inspired by a vision, or fantasy, is the most potent human force. Visions
evoke strength; fantasies evoke power, and there is a very big difference
between strength and power.
24. Visions are good; most fantasies are bad, but a healthy fantasy is not to be
discarded. The mind works by the ear! Words create pictures and pictures
talk back. The inner dialogue is called thinking. Sub-conscience thinking
is the combining of sounds and perceived images. How a person feels
about this unconscious dialogue, determines “conscious decisions." If we
don’t feel anything, our hearts say, in effect, “Return to sender.” We
constantly want to feel and demonstrate these feelings. This is the
inherent problem between love and lust. Love is born in the intellect and
seeks communion. Lust is born in the emotions and seeks
companionship.”
What we see, we then animate into pictures, and the mind stores these
images, and forms its belief systems from them. If you don’t SEE all of the
details you only have a partial picture. Imagine seeing an ocean without
waves, or flowers without color? Partial pictures form wrongful belief
systems. All “seeing” eventually makes it into the subconscious mind
because the human mind chooses to react to all stimuli entering the five
senses. However; to avoid filters you must train the mind to pay attention
to what is seen FIRST in the conscious mind and then the subconscious
mind takes over.
25. Let’s go one step further. What you are doing with this exercise is teaching
your subconscious mind that every detail is important AFTER the conscious
mind pays attention to it FIRST. In the past, you looked at something and
your mind only remembered what your subconscious mind thought was
important; however, now you are REPETITIVELY teaching it that everything
is important CONSCIOUSLY FIRST. This is how the mind learns, and this
is why your teachers always assigned homework and you had to
repetitively cram for finals. The mind learns by repetition –CONSCIOUS
AND SUBCONSCIOUS!
Now it makes a man wonder, can this be the answer to all of your
problems? What if you can train the mind in the opposite direction…
REPETITIVELY! BINGO, this is exactly what we behavioral scientists do,
in order to get you away from wrongful behavior. Remember the mind uses
the very same mechanism to learn good things as well as bad things. It is
just that you have perceived that bad things are more fun. And seeing bad
things can really be more fun. Happiness and pleasure, in the short-term,
seems to outweigh long-term joy! Listen up: short-term happiness has a
tendency to push away long-term joy, so be aware of this and strive for the
long-term joy. It is simply a matter of training yourself to do it!
26. You listen but you do not hear…
Hearing is the second most intensive sense we have. It
allows us to detect events without the benefit of light or a
direct line of vision. It is also alerts us to potential
dangers. In people that are blind, hearing does become
more acute but it is less a blessing than might at first
appear. The blind hear more sounds but are confused as
to both the origin and the location of these sounds.
Instead of aiding their awareness of their environment, it
actually hinders their awareness with overwhelming
noises that often caused feelings of fear.
Strange sounds and noises cause anxiety in all creatures;
its one of our survival instincts. A loud or unusual sound
will cause the nervous system to respond with alarm. A
sighted person would immediately look in the direction of
a strange sound to assess potential danger, but a blind
person can only wait for either nothing or something bad
to happen.
27. Improving Auditory Perception
Eliciting a change in auditory perception can be as simple as providing clues
as to what to look for. For example, if you play two musical notes on half
tone apart such as a C and a C#, they will sound discordant, but they will
also create a third vibration known as a pulse tone. Inside the sound you
can hear a beat or a pulse. Unless you are a musician who has studied
musical theory as well, it is unlikely you would have knowledge of this
phenomenon and just as likely to never have noticed the third tone.
However, once it is explained it becomes self-evident. A friend of mine has
played music since he was a child but the first time I told him of this he
immediately went to his piano and played the two notes and sure enough
there it was, a third pulsating note. The sound was always there but now he
could “hear” it because I made him aware of it. Similarly in the following
exercise much of the initial improvements are brought about by the mere
awareness that we are capable of sensing much more than we originally
thought. Before we go into the exercises it’s important to know the
mechanics of hearing and of a recent development in our scientific
understanding of how the brain processes auditory information that gave
rise to our third training exercise called “Audio Calibration”.
28. What the Ears Sense
The ears sense pressure waves that travel through the medium of air or
water at frequencies that range between 16 Hz to 20,000 Hz. These
pressure waves enter the auditory canal and cause a membrane in the ear
(eardrum) to vibrate. This vibration is transmitted through a series of tiny
bones that amplify the kinetic energy. This energy is finally transformed
into an electro-chemical signal and transmitted via the auditory nerve to
the auditory cortex within the brain where this signal is “heard” as sound.
A curious fact is that the auditory nerves are stimulated by both external
vibrations that enter the auditory canal and internal vibrations transmitted
directly through the body. Low frequencies such as bass tones can pass
through and resonate in the bones of the skull and jaw and vibrate the
auditory nerve itself. The skull and jaw act like the sounding board of a
guitar or violin and just as the shape of those instruments affect the sound
they produce, so our experience of sound is affected by our physical
structure. This is somewhat unusual since no other sense organ can
receive direct stimulation of its enervation, its transmission cable. For
example if you could shine a light on only your optic nerve you would not
see a light.
29. It is thought that the low frequency sound waves
stimulate the body's nervous system producing an
adrenaline/endorphin high. If this is true then this
helps explain why the armies of all cultures have
gone into battle beating drums and making loud
noises, and why young people like to listen to loud
music.
The low frequencies act as a stimulant. This may
also explain why music and chanting can reduce
pain. The auditory signal created by the chanting of a
Mantra releases endorphins, a morphine-like
chemical that inhibit pain, but also literally drowns out
pain signals through what is known as cross talk.
All cranial nerves carry a non-steady current, which
produces magnetic fields that can both broadcast
and receive EM (electromagnetic) waves. Because
cranial nerves are densely packed together, when
the auditory nerve is stimulated it generates an EM
pulse that can be picked up by other cranial nerves.
This is known as cross talk.
30. For example, experiments show that even mild and
incidental noises cause the pupils to dilate. The auditory
nerve can cause a stimulation of the optic nerve. It is
believed that this is why watchmakers, surgeons, and
others who perform delicate manual operations are so
bothered by uninvited sounds; the sound causes their pupils
to change focus thus blurring vision. This is also explains
one reason why a warrior yells at the moment of attack, to
create an instantaneous and uncontrollable disruption in the
opponent's nervous system. This also reminds us that
having a quiet place to practice is a good idea since noise is
a bigger distraction than you might think.
In addition, the auditory nerve picks up internal sounds
produced by the body's natural processes. These include:
muscular movement, heartbeat, breathing, blood flow,
digestion, and an ambient “static noise” of the nervous
system (The hissing sound you can hear when quiet). This
allows one to listen in on and monitor certain internal
functions like respiration and heartbeat, something again no
other sense can do.
31. But it is recent research that offers the most evidence to
support the idea of improving hearing. We know that the
sound signal is sent to an area of the brain called the
auditory cortex where it is turned into sound. How exactly the
process is done is a mystery but what scientists have
discovered is how the sound is sorted. The auditory function,
centered in the cortex, contains a three-dimensional map of
the sound space picked up by each ear.
This indicates that the auditory cortex is highly specialized to
accurately detect the direction and position of sounds in the
space around us. This specialized ability would suggest a
much more accurate fine tune auditory perception. Whereas
the eyes, without moving the head, can detect objects only
within a slightly less than 180 degree field, the ears can
detect the positions of sound sources a full 360 degrees
acting like radar to accurately detect moving objects within
hearing range. This would be a valuable skill for a martial
artist and we devised a simple biofeedback exercise that
seemed to work called “Audio Calibration”.
32. Exercise #2 You listen but you do not hear…
Okay, this next exercise is really a lot of fun. Learning to listen is not the
same as hearing. Taking this even another step further, if you can hear
what the other person is saying, are you listening? Next, are you hearing
everything?
Again, remember, “The mind works by the ear! Words create pictures
and pictures talk back. The inner dialogue is called thinking. Sub-
conscience thinking is the combining of sounds and perceived images.
How a person feels about this unconscious dialogue, determines
“conscious decisions."
Words talk back in the mind and create unconscious decisions, because
the mind animates the words. Once again, if you are not hearing
everything, you have an incomplete unconscious dialogue.
Okay, this is what I want you to do: Please take a pencil and paper and
place a chair in your backyard. Close you eyes and listen. Pick out each
and every sound distinctly, and then write it down. You will hear things
like birds, insects, the wind, etc but listen and write down every sound
you hear.
33. Again, you are training your mind to hear everything
by making everything important. Pick out each distinct
sound one-by-one. The ear needs to be trained. Just
ask any musician or songwriter. I like opera and I
listen to it quite often. I am constantly amazed how
every time I listen to it, I pick out new instruments I
hadn’t heard before. I also speak Italian, and as I
follow along with the words in Italian opera, I am
amazed, once again, by how many of them I hadn’t
heard previously.
Getting back to the exercise, when you learn to listen,
you will hear everything, and have all the necessary
input to form good pictures in your mind. By
repetitively doing this exercise, you begin to teach and
train the ear to hear everything, and that everything is
important. Try both exercises and sit back and be
amazed.
34. How to Detect Lies
Watching facial expressions in order to determine whether a
person is lying might just save you from being a victim of fraud,
or it could help you figure out when somebody's being genuine.
Jury analysts do this when assisting in jury selection. The
police do this during an interrogation. Of course a polygraph
does this, but it is a little heavy to carry with you. Therefore,
you have to learn the little facial and body expressions that can
help you distinguish a lie from the truth.
Observe how the person smiles. Forced smiles are easy to
spot since they only involve the muscles around the mouth.
The person will appear as being overly relaxed and not really
happy. Look at the mouth and see if the teeth are showing. A
real smile will reveal a bit of teeth but a forced smile may or
may not.
True Smile - In a real smile, more facial muscles besides the
mouth are involved. A dead giveaway is tightening around the
eyes, which sometimes causes crows' feet. Very few people
can fake a smile and still control their eyes in this manner.
35. Watch their hands, arms and legs, which tend to be limited,
stiff, and self-directed when the person is lying.
The hands may touch or scratch their face, nose or behind
an ear, but are not likely to touch their chest or heart with
an open hand.
Check for sweating. People tend to sweat more when they
lie.
See if they are telling you too much, like "My mom is living
in France, isn't it nice there? Don't you like the Eiffel tower?
It's so clean there." Too many details may tip you off to their
desperation to get you to believe them.
Observe eye contact - Notice the person's eye movements.
Contrary to popular belief, a liar does not always avoid eye
contact. Humans naturally break eye contact and look
upwards when remembering something.
36. Liars may deliberately make eye contact to seem more sincere.
Liars also tend to blink more often. A typical right-handed person
tends to look towards his left when remembering something that
actually happened (remembered images, sounds and internal
dialogue) and towards their right (constructed images, sounds and
kinesthetic sensations) when they're making something up.
Be sensitive to the person's emotional expression, specifically the
timing and duration, which tends to be off when someone is lying.
Emotions can be delayed, remain longer than usual, and then stop
suddenly. Likewise, they might not match appropriately with verbal
statements. And, as with smiling, facial expressions of a liar will be
limited to the mouth area.
Pay close attention to the person's reaction to your questions. A
liar will often feel uncomfortable and turn their head or body away
or even unconsciously put an object between the two of you.
Also, while an innocent person would go on the offensive, a guilty
person will often go immediately on the defensive.
37. Listen for a subtle delay in responses to
questions. An honest answer comes quickly
from memory. Lies require a quick mental review
of what they have told others to avoid
inconsistency and to make up new details as
needed.
Be conscious of their wording. Verbal
expression can give many clues as to whether a
person is lying, such as:
•Using/repeating your own exact words when
answering a question
•NOT using contractions
•Avoiding direct statements or answers
•Speaking excessively in an effort to convince
•Speaking in a monotonous tone
•Leaving out pronouns (he, she, it, etc.)
•Speaking in muddled sentences
38. Equivocation: "Non-Answers" for example:
Q: "Are these your drugs?"
A:"I don't even smoke."
Q: "Did you kill that man?"
A:"I don't even own a gun."
In essence, these subjects ARE answering TRUTHFULLY,
however, the answers they are providing do not address
the actual questions in any way.
Using humor and sarcasm to avoid the subject. Allow
silence to enter the conversation. Observe how
uncomfortable and restless the person becomes when
there is a pause.
Change the subject quickly. While an innocent person
would be confused by the sudden shift in the conversation
and may try to return to the previous subject, a liar will be
relieved and welcome the change. You may see the person
become more relaxed and less defensive. Watch his or her
throat. A person may constantly be either trying to lubricate
their throat when he/she lies OR swallowing to avoid the
tension built up
39. Corporate Mailing Address:
546 South Main Street
Lock Box 304
Cedar City, Utah 84720
435-249-5600
435-867-1988 Fax
support@neternatives.com
http://AppliedMindSciences.com
