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You Can't Spell "Archie" Without "ACR" Part Four
1. You Can't Spell “Archie”
Without “ACR”
An Asylum Challenge
(Take Two) (Part Four)
2. Last time, the Little Bastard got himself up to 18 Simultaneous Lovers, needing only 2 to achieve
his LTW.
Di is addicted to the Dance Sphere, Ang is addicted to her underpants, Cait is addicted to being
as far away from Archie as possible, and De is addicted to not peeing herself. Some of them are
more successful at their endeavors than others.
3. De is very upset about her Potty Accident. Jamie just wants to reassure Archie that she loves his
hair.
4. “When do we get to leave? Tell me it's soon!”
I don't think Cait quite grasps that the other two, who rolled Romance, would rather stay!
6. “No. No, I am not sharing a couch with you. Not even to watch football.”
“Yeesh, you sure are a tough nut to crack.”
“There will be no cracking of nuts!”
7. Archie decided to go stalk Ang for a change of pace. Usually, she's stalking him.
9. Once the dishwasher is working again, Ang coaxes Archie into the photo booth. And by “coaxes,”
I mean, “did not have to coax much at all.”
10. Hey, imagine that, antisocial Pop Sim Marina is upset because she's not making friends. Who
knew?
11. Archie decided to cheer Marina up, and despite still being vaguely annoyed with him, she quite
happily stripped down to her undies on the couch.
Ori thinks Archie is hot when he's naked. Archie agrees.
12. Under the watchful and disapproving gaze of Cait, Archie and Marina go at it on the sofa.
This gets them back to being best friends, and Marina falls back in love with Archie. I'm not
entirely sure this is the wisest move, but it's not like I can talk her out of it.
13. And at least now she'll let him get his hand close to her face without trying to bite off his fingers,
which is a vast improvement to her attitude.
14. Jamie decided she missed sponge-bathing.
Once again, there was no one in the shower at the time. She's just a fan of public nudity.
15. I don't think you'll ever convince them that stalking Archie works better if he's actually awake at the
time.
16. “Go away! Dammit, I thought this was Marina's pillow! Where's the one with the rocks in it?”
20. Once the household was Called To Meal, Cait got a nice platinum plumbbob. This is the happiest
she's been in three weeks!
21. Archie tops Slacker again, for another 15K Aspiration Points. Still not his LTW, but I'll take what I
can get!
22. Veronica Hunicke is immediately called for some friend-making and some “friend”-making.
23. She seemed eager. This was her idea, and not Archie's.
After the grope-fest, Archie got a photo booth in his action queue, and I assumed it was Jamie,
because I'd canceled a Jamie photo booth session as Veronica walked onto the lot.
24. Whoops.
I'd intended for Archie to do a mild flirt with Cait AFTER he fell in love with Veronica, because that
would get them in love, and I wouldn't have to worry about jealousy on Cait's part.
Apparently, Cait had other ideas, and decided at the eleventh hour that she HAD to have Archie
RIGHT THEN, because her shot at the Little Bastard would soon be gone.
Aside from the damage to Archie's chances of banging Veronica, there were other consequences.
25. Marina, whose Jealousy seems to be all over the map, lost her marbles.
I should point out that Marina, Cait, Ori, and De all have the exact same jealousy score, and
Marina and De even have the same Aspiration. And yet, De doesn't care what Archie does or with
whom, and Marina does—but only sometimes. The first time she was in love with Archie, he slept
with almost everyone else in the house after that, and she didn't care until he slept with Lark. Now
she's pissed because he slept with one of their other roommates.
I officially do not understand Crabby Popularity Marina.
26. Anyway, Cait brings Archie's total up to Nineteen Simultaneous Lovers, and now he can't freely
boff Veronica, lest Cait get mad too.
27. Cait at least makes it easy on me by immediately going to sleep, perhaps in an attempt to
convince herself that it was all a dream.
Marina just carries on having her breakdown behind the sofa.
28. And then I get to see the Stick Cup Buddy! I've never seen the Stick Cup Buddy in my game
before. This means the only Aspiration Desperation I haven't seen for myself is Moppy
McPlateface!
30. A few flirts, supervised by Jamie in her underwear, and Archie's in love with Veronica.
31. And that is the sight of PermaPlat, baby! With the better part of a week to spare before hitting
Elder, Archie has gotten himself 20 Simultaneous Lovers!
His new LTW is 20 WooHoos. Well, he's already up to 17, so there's only one thing to do!
32. This is Marina's new house. I like to think it's cozy, with a certain “keep out” vibe.
Cait and Di got a house of their own, and I moved Stacie and Lark back into the Asylum with
Archie. Marina swung by to kick over the trash can.
33. With the jealous types safely moved out, Archie introduces Veronica to his photo booth, giving him
18 WooHoos.
34. Archie called a cab, and he and the other Romancers headed to Red's for a little public hanky-
panky.
36. And, because I am a softie at heart and the Little Bastard had a Want for 3 Public WooHoos, he
got to take Jamie into the photo booth as well.
Then I sent them all home, because one of us has had enough of the photo booth, and I'm pretty
sure it's me.
37. Down on Loose End Lane, we have Lisa Ramirez.
I don't like Lisa Ramirez. There, I said it. She is my telescope slapper in Riverblossom Hills, she
never buys anything when she comes into my businesses, and she irritates other customers and
makes them complain if I don't chase her off quickly enough. She is a perpetual pain in my ass.
Let the Smiting commence!
38. I wish I knew why my electrocuted Sims suddenly have no legs. They used to. I sort of miss the
requisite number of limbs.
39. Yes, poor Tessa gets taken away by the Social Worker. Very sad.
40. “Hey, Gil, is the number of the pizza place 4127 or 4172? I can never remember.”
41. “I can't remember either, hun. Go downstairs and look it up. The magnet's stuck to the fridge.”
48. “Did you ever get that pizza, hun?”
“No. I guess I must have called the wrong number. Maybe it's 4127 after all.”
“Oh well. At least we had fun.”
“Lots of fun.”
49. “Um, hi?”
“The nice lady said you called yesterday. My Mommy and Daddy are dead, so I get to live here
now.”
“Okay?”
“I'm Tessa. Do you have swings? Mommy and Daddy had swings.”
“Um... We could get some, I guess.”
50. “Cass, why is there a small child in the foyer?”
“I think yesterday I ordered an orphan instead of a pizza. Can we keep her? I promise I'll clean
up after her and feed her and stuff.”
“She's a little girl, not a puppy.”
“We could get a puppy. Kids like puppies, right?”
51. “What the hell? Cass, do I even want to know?”
“Her Mommy and Daddy are dead, Spider! We have to keep her! Right?”
“It's not like we can send her back.”
“Yay! I get to stay!”
52. “Welcome to the family, Tessa! I hope you don't mind lots of daddies hanging around.”
“Can I have swings and a puppy?”
“Sure!”
53. Thus endeth the story of Tessa Ramirez and her four daddies.
Oh, you want to know how the actual Asylum turned out? Well, fine.
54. Base score is 100, minus 22 days in the Asylum is 78, plus 20 for never using Influence is 98,
plus 16 for family friends is 114.
I get one point for each 1000 points the SimSelves have: Ang has 7,750; Cait has 15,500; De has
36,750; Di has 4,500; Jamie has 16,000; Marina has 41,500; Ori has 25,500. Rounded up and
divided by 1000, that's 150. Added to the 114, the subtotal now stands at 264.
55. I get a point for each of the SimSelves' Skill Points: Ang has 5 Cooking, 2 Charisma, 2 Body, 4
Logic, 7 Creativity, 2 Cleaning; Cait has 7 Cooking, 1 Charisma, 9 Body, 7 Logic, 4 Creativity, 3
Cleaning; De has 7 Cooking, 3 Charisma, 10 Body, 10 Logic, 9 Creativity, 2 Cleaning; Di has 6
Cooking, 1 Charisma, 10 Body, 10 Logic, 7 Creativity, 4 Cleaning; Jamie has 5 Cooking, 2
Charisma, 3 Body, 8 Logic, 9 Creativity, 2 Cleaning; Marina has 6 Cooking, 1 Charisma, 2 Body, 7
Logic, 10 Creativity, 4 Cleaning; Ori has 6 Cooking, 2 Charisma, 3 Body, 5 Logic, 10 Creativity, 2
Cleaning.
Added up and added to the subtotal, I get a grand total of 482 points—not too shabby, considering
that Take One ended in utter failure after less than a week.
56. One big thanks to my willing and not-so-willing participants: Ang/peasant007, writer of the
Devereaux Legacy; Cait/RegacyLady, writer of the Regacy; De/fireflower314, writer of the Morgan
Legacy; Dicreasy, writer of the Victorian Legacy; Jamie/DocGirlP, writer of the Bohemian Legacy;
Marina/smoothiequeen, writer of the Villainous Apocalypse; Orikes, writer of the Pseudo Legacy;
Stacielee, writer of Whedonberry; Lark/ladylarkrune, writer of Yakko's World OWBC.
The Little Bastard thanks you all from the bottom of his pants heart.
