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“ The Iceberg” Internet-of-the-Mind.com BY: Don Carter, MSW, LCSW
<ul><ul><ul><li>1. No Blame Policy </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>2. Healing the Past </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul...
 
Abandonment
- Food, Shelter, Clothing - Medical Attention - Safety & Protection   Survival  Dependency Needs Internet-of-the-Mind.com
<ul><li>Time </li></ul><ul><li>Attention  </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection </li></ul><ul><li>Direction </li></ul>Emotional De...
Emotional Dependency  Needs <ul><li>Time = Love </li></ul><ul><li>Attention  </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection </li></ul><ul><...
Emotional Dependency  Needs <ul><li>Time = Love </li></ul><ul><li>Attention = Worth </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection </li></u...
Emotional Dependency  Needs <ul><li>Time = Love </li></ul><ul><li>Attention = Worth </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection = Approv...
Emotional Dependency  Needs <ul><li>Time = Love </li></ul><ul><li>Attention = Worth </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection = Approv...
Emotional Dependency  Needs <ul><li>Time = Love </li></ul><ul><li>Attention = Worth </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection = Approv...
Abandonment
Abandonment Shame
Abandonment Shame Contempt
<ul><li>Externalizers </li></ul><ul><li>Prone to Anger </li></ul><ul><li>Self-Centered </li></ul><ul><li>-Shameless & Blam...
Abandonment Shame Contempt False Self
Abandonment Shame Contempt External Focus False Self
Abandonment Shame Contempt External Focus Cover-Ups Invented Self False Self
Survival Roles  “ Invented Self” Alcoholic Co-Dependent Internet-of-the-Mind.com
Hero Alcoholic Co-Dependent Internet-of-the-Mind.com Survival Roles  “ Invented Self”
Hero Rebel Alcoholic Co-Dependent Internet-of-the-Mind.com Survival Roles  “ Invented Self”
Hero Rebel Lost Child Alcoholic Co-Dependent Internet-of-the-Mind.com Survival Roles  “ Invented Self”
Hero Rebel Lost Child Mascot Alcoholic Co-Dependent Internet-of-the-Mind.com Survival Roles  “ Invented Self”
Abandonment Shame Contempt False Self External Focus Cover-Ups Invented Self
Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups True Self False Self External Focus Invented Self
Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups Food Alcohol Drugs Gambling Sex Work Risk- Taking Drama *Comfort & Relief* True Self ...
Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups Needy people Food Alcohol Drugs Gambling Sex Work Risk Taking Drama True Self Invente...
Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups Needy people Food Alcohol Drugs Gambling Sex Work Risk Taking Drama True Self Invente...
Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups Needy people Food Alcohol Drugs Gambling Sex Work Risk Taking Drama True Self *Contro...
External Focus Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups Needy people Food Alcohol Drugs Gambling Sex Work Risk Taking Drama Tr...
Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups True Self False Self Invented Self External Focus *Control* *Comfort & Relief* Self-H...
Abandonment Shame Contempt Internal Focus *Control* H.O.W. Higher Power Recovery  Program False Self *Comfort & Relief* Ea...
H.O.W. Higher Power Recovery  Program Internal Focus *Comfort & Relief* Middle Recovery Healing True Self
H.O.W. Recovery  Program Higher Power Internal Focus True Self
“ The Iceberg” Internet-of-the-Mind.com BY: Don Carter, MSW, LCSW
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The Iceberg Presentation

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A 30 minute PowerPoint presentation with video version in slide two. The Iceberg Model has been used to present concepts for being human as far back as Sigmund Freud. My use of the model provides a "big picture" for how Adult/Child Syndrome, Codependency, and Addiction all fit together and how they impact one another. Along with childhood abandonment issues, toxic shame, anger and various addictions, the presentation outlines the effects of growing up in a less-than-nurturing family on relationship skills, coping styles, successful living and motivation.

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The Iceberg Presentation

  1. 1. “ The Iceberg” Internet-of-the-Mind.com BY: Don Carter, MSW, LCSW
  2. 2. <ul><ul><ul><li>1. No Blame Policy </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>2. Healing the Past </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>3. Parents Do Their Best </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>4. Stop Passing it On </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>5. Focus on You </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>6. Role-Modeling Health </li></ul></ul></ul>Points to Remember Internet-of-the-Mind.com
  3. 4. Abandonment
  4. 5. - Food, Shelter, Clothing - Medical Attention - Safety & Protection Survival Dependency Needs Internet-of-the-Mind.com
  5. 6. <ul><li>Time </li></ul><ul><li>Attention </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection </li></ul><ul><li>Direction </li></ul>Emotional Dependency Needs Internet-of-the-Mind.com
  6. 7. Emotional Dependency Needs <ul><li>Time = Love </li></ul><ul><li>Attention </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection </li></ul><ul><li>Direction </li></ul>Internet-of-the-Mind.com
  7. 8. Emotional Dependency Needs <ul><li>Time = Love </li></ul><ul><li>Attention = Worth </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection </li></ul><ul><li>Direction </li></ul>Internet-of-the-Mind.com
  8. 9. Emotional Dependency Needs <ul><li>Time = Love </li></ul><ul><li>Attention = Worth </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection = Approval </li></ul><ul><li>Direction </li></ul>Internet-of-the-Mind.com
  9. 10. Emotional Dependency Needs <ul><li>Time = Love </li></ul><ul><li>Attention = Worth </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection = Approval </li></ul><ul><li>Direction: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Guidance = Competence </li></ul></ul>Internet-of-the-Mind.com
  10. 11. Emotional Dependency Needs <ul><li>Time = Love </li></ul><ul><li>Attention = Worth </li></ul><ul><li>- Affection = Approval </li></ul><ul><li>Direction: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Guidance = Competence </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Discipline = Character </li></ul></ul>Internet-of-the-Mind.com
  11. 12. Abandonment
  12. 13. Abandonment Shame
  13. 14. Abandonment Shame Contempt
  14. 15. <ul><li>Externalizers </li></ul><ul><li>Prone to Anger </li></ul><ul><li>Self-Centered </li></ul><ul><li>-Shameless & Blameless </li></ul><ul><li>-Harm to others </li></ul><ul><li>-Rigid Boundaries </li></ul><ul><li>-“Anti”-Dependent </li></ul><ul><li>-Intrusive/Aggressive </li></ul><ul><li>Counter-Dependent </li></ul>Internalizers -Prone to Depress -Other-Centered -Full of Shame -Harm to self -Weak Boundaries -Dependent -People Pleasers Co-Dependent The “Scab” of Contempt Internet-of-the-Mind.com
  15. 16. Abandonment Shame Contempt False Self
  16. 17. Abandonment Shame Contempt External Focus False Self
  17. 18. Abandonment Shame Contempt External Focus Cover-Ups Invented Self False Self
  18. 19. Survival Roles “ Invented Self” Alcoholic Co-Dependent Internet-of-the-Mind.com
  19. 20. Hero Alcoholic Co-Dependent Internet-of-the-Mind.com Survival Roles “ Invented Self”
  20. 21. Hero Rebel Alcoholic Co-Dependent Internet-of-the-Mind.com Survival Roles “ Invented Self”
  21. 22. Hero Rebel Lost Child Alcoholic Co-Dependent Internet-of-the-Mind.com Survival Roles “ Invented Self”
  22. 23. Hero Rebel Lost Child Mascot Alcoholic Co-Dependent Internet-of-the-Mind.com Survival Roles “ Invented Self”
  23. 24. Abandonment Shame Contempt False Self External Focus Cover-Ups Invented Self
  24. 25. Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups True Self False Self External Focus Invented Self
  25. 26. Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups Food Alcohol Drugs Gambling Sex Work Risk- Taking Drama *Comfort & Relief* True Self Invented Self False Self External Focus
  26. 27. Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups Needy people Food Alcohol Drugs Gambling Sex Work Risk Taking Drama True Self Invented Self False Self External Focus *Comfort & Relief*
  27. 28. Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups Needy people Food Alcohol Drugs Gambling Sex Work Risk Taking Drama True Self Invented Self False Self External Focus *Comfort & Relief*
  28. 29. Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups Needy people Food Alcohol Drugs Gambling Sex Work Risk Taking Drama True Self *Control* False Self External Focus Invented Self *Comfort & Relief*
  29. 30. External Focus Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups Needy people Food Alcohol Drugs Gambling Sex Work Risk Taking Drama True Self *Control* CRASH!! HIT Bottom Invented Self False Self *Comfort & Relief*
  30. 31. Abandonment Shame Contempt Cover-Ups True Self False Self Invented Self External Focus *Control* *Comfort & Relief* Self-Help Counseling
  31. 32. Abandonment Shame Contempt Internal Focus *Control* H.O.W. Higher Power Recovery Program False Self *Comfort & Relief* Early Recovery True Self
  32. 33. H.O.W. Higher Power Recovery Program Internal Focus *Comfort & Relief* Middle Recovery Healing True Self
  33. 34. H.O.W. Recovery Program Higher Power Internal Focus True Self
  34. 35. “ The Iceberg” Internet-of-the-Mind.com BY: Don Carter, MSW, LCSW

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