2. Communication is the deepest need of the
human heart
People tend to speak more than to hear.
3. Five poor listening skillsSpacing out
Pretend Listening
Selective Writing
Word listening
Self-centered listening
4. This is the situation when somebody is talking
but we are thinking of something else rather than
listening.
We sometimes do this when we have troubles or
concerns but it is not okay to continuously do this
action
5. The common poor listening style is the Pretend
Listening
The situation where you pretend you are listening
by using words like…
“Yeah…”
“Uhuh…”
6. Listening to the part that is only interesting
People say the word “Army” in the conversation
so you talk about the army like, “Yeah! The
Army….”
Not developing good friendship
One wants to talk about this the another wants to
talk about that
7. Occurs when people are only focused on the
words not the body movement of the speaker.
When one says, “What do you think about
Ronaldo?” You may answer “Oh, He’s really
cool.” However, when you look at the speaker’s
face expression and body movements, the
speaker was asking whether Ronaldo likes the
speaker or not.
8.
9. A conversation that includes “Busy Judgments”
“Busy Judgments” are judgments that are made
without thinking it precisely or judging rapidly.
10. THE most boring conversation is the Self-
centered, Advising conversation
A conversation when a person mentions his
‘when I was young…’ or self-experience as an
advisement
“You need to start making friends like I did when I
was young.”
Think about your conversations with your friends.
Imagine this situation. Boring huh?
11. Probing occurs when you try to dig up emotions
before people are ready to share them.
Parents do this activity with their children all the
time.
If you are asking too many questions the
conversation NEVER goes far.
14. According to the upper graph the ‘Words’ of
communication is only 7% of the whole
communication. Hence, communication is really
not about words it is basically about Body
Language and Tone/Feelings.
Hence we listen to body language through eyes,
listen to tone/feeling through heart, and listen to
the words with ears
15. You must try to see the world as they see it and
try to feel as they feel.
“Until you walk a mile in another man’s
moccasins you can’t imagine the smell.” Robert
Byrne
19. If you practice mirroring but don’t really desire to
understand others, they will see through it and feel
manipulated.
Mirroring is a skill, the tip of the iceberg. Your
attitudes or desire to really understand another is the
lurking mass of ice underneath the surface. If your
attitude is right but you don’t have the skill, you’ll be
okay. But it doesn’t work the other way around.
If you both have the attitude and the skill, you’ll
become a powerful communicator.
20. “As I get it, you felt that…”
“So, as I see it…”
“I can see that you’re feeling…”
“You feel that…”
“So, what you’re saying is…”
21. Let’s take another look at the sister who needs a listening ear from
her big brother to illustrate how different genuine listening is.
Sister says, “I don’t like our new school at all. Ever since we moved
I’ve felt like the biggest outcast. I wish I could find some new friends.”
The brother could use any one of the following responses: “Pass the
Cheetos?” (Spacing out) “Sounds great.” (Pretend listening)
“Speaking of friends, my friend Bart ...” (Selective listening) “What
you need to do is start meeting
new people.” (Advising) “You’re not trying hard enough.” (Judging)
“Are you having trouble with your grades?” (Probing)
But if big bro is smart, he’ll try mirroring:
“You feel that school’s kind of tough right now.” (Mirroring)
“It’s the worst. I mean I don’t have any friends. And that Tabatha
Jones has been so rude to me. Oh, I
22. just don’t know what to do.”
“You feel confused.” (Mirroring)
“Sure do. I’ve always been popular and then suddenly no
one knows my name. I’ve been trying to
get to know people, but it doesn’t seem to be working.”
“I can see you’re frustrated.” (Mirroring)
“Yeah. I probably sound like I’m psycho or something.
Anyway, thanks for listening.”
“No problem.”
“What do you think I should do?”
By listening, big brother made a huge deposit into his
sister’s RBA. In addition, little sister is now
open to his advice. The time is now right for him to seek to
be understood, to share his point of view.
23. Thank you
You have just finshed reading Habit 5
By Summaya, DaEun, Maneerat and Ji-Yeon
