NLP for project managers

Developing Behavioural Competences through NLP

Dr Peter Parkes
Peak Performance
Training, Coaching and Consulting

© Peter Parkes 2013 www.NLP4PM.com

Agenda

1. Introductions

2. Where is PM going?

3. What behaviours do we need?

4. What is NLP?

5. Behaviours as meta-programs

6. Self awareness

7. Maps of the world

8. Rep systems

9. Perceptual positions

10. Rapport

11. Summary

12. Questions / Next steps

© Peter Parkes 2013 2 www.NLP4PM.com

1 Introduction

 Why me?

 How I got in NLP4PM

 Finding out a bit about you

 Why the book?

 A word of caution from Meharabian


Dr Peter Parkes MBA – how I discovered NLP

Like you, I am committed to ongoing personal and professional development and have an established
career in senior positions in project management.
 Held Programme Director roles in the Private Sector, Public Sector, Public Private Partnerships, and ‘Big 4’
Management Consultancies.

 Held interim CIO and Head of IT roles. Chartered IT professional and Fellow of the British Computer Society

 Main Board Director of Association for Project Management and Board Champion for best practice groups
2009-2012.

 Masters dissertation on best practice for project management of technology. Sit on Steering Group of PM Body
of Knowledge.

 Founding member of best practice groups on Governance, Assurance and Portfolio Management and co-author
of standard industry guidance.

 NLP Master Practitioner and Licensed Coach.

 Author ‘NLP for Project Managers’ – listed for ‘Management book of the year’ in 2011

 Managing Director of Peak Performance, offering consultancy, training and coaching in project management to
help you build internal capability.


Finding out a bit about you

 It took me 12 months to speak to 2000 people across the UK in 2011
on this topic, but we have over 500 logged in today.

 Let’s have a little practice with this platform and controls.

 This talk was only advertised via the APM in the UK, but type in the
question box where you are from if you are logged in from outside
the UK.

 ‘Hands up’ those who have already read my book ‘NLP for Project
Managers’ or been to one of my talks already? Or had some NLP
training?

 For those groups, type in the questions box what you thought were
the most interesting and useful parts of NLP?

Why did I feel the need to write the book?

 Lots of training around process for PM but not
on behavioural aspects

 Many people trained in NLP but cannot apply
it outside ‘therapy’

 Most NLP practitioners, in my opinion, lack
credibility in the business world

 NLP books and training is usually written
around NLP techniques rather than by
business application

 The book was ‘reverse engineered’ from my
training course to ensure that it is applicable.

 Why by British Computer Society? To
establish credibility with CIOs and Heads of
PM – many high level endorsements

 The book was listed by CMI for ‘Management
book of the year’ in 2011


A word of caution - hearing what isn’t being said

 Anyone heard of Albert Mehrabian?

 Professor of Psychology at UCLA famous for
experiments on non-verbal communication

 How much content is picked up from body
language?

 How much of remainder from tone and
emphasis?

 So how much content is in just the words?

 So why do we use so much email and not
make the time for face to face or calls?

 And how useful can a Webinar be compared
to F2F training?

2 Direction of PM and PM qualifications


What is Project Management ?

Performance
/ quality

 ‘Project Management is getting things
done through others’ (Barnes)

 ‘Project Management is an attitude of
mind’ (Turner UCL)

Cost Time


Direction of PM and qualifications

‘Method and process are important in project management,
but knowing how to use them is even more so’.

Bob Assirati CBE
Vice President, BCS
Honorary Fellow, APM
Major Projects Director, OGC

‘Consistent feedback when we released early drafts of PRINCE2 was
the need to describe those vital behavioural competences (or soft skills)
that project managers require for successful project delivery’.

Andy Murray CDir
Lead author PRINCE2 (2009 Refresh)


Competence requires
skills and experience as well as knowledge

‘10,000 hours rule’?
Competence

Master practitioner

Practitioner

Early practitioner
e gde won K

Novice
l

Structured experience / skills


What are the required behavioural competences
for effective PM ?


PM competences

Traits Behaviours Skills

•Responsible •View people as •Conflict
•Self confident allies, not Management
•Self control adversaries •Negotiation
•Approachable •Think win / win •Influencing
•Autonomous •Begin with the end •Listening
•Integrity in mind •Problem solving
•Empathy •Respect other
•Big picture people
•Self development •Creative
•Open cooperation
•Energetic •Pro-actively build
•Reliable relationships


Soft skills = Emotional Intelligence

Self Other
(Personal Competence) (Social Competence)

Recognition Self awareness Social awareness

Regulation Self management Social influence


Emotional Intelligence


IQ v EQ in exceptional achievers

E
Q
‘IQ and EQ are
orthogonal – the
presence of one does
not imply the presence ‘Practical intelligence includes
of the other’ things like knowing what to say to
whom, knowing when to say it, and
IQ knowing how to say it for maximum
effect. It is procedural’.

Behaviours for
Higher Apprenticeships for Project Managers

 Communications  Business case

 Stakeholder Management  Scheduling

 Leadership  Managing scope

 Managing resources

 Managing contracts

 Managing finances and costs

 Managing Quality

 Managing Risks

 Monitoring and reporting


Can you improve behavioural competences
through training?

‘But you can’t teach behavioural competences in the classroom’

'It was refreshing to be on a course 'The NLP4PM experience was
that focussed on attitudes and transformational for the participants. Key
behaviours rather than on processes. I behaviour and attitude changes were
saw positive changes in attitude and observable and measurable only a few
behaviour from my co-workers days after the course was completed'.
immediately after the course'. Olivier Drouin, Senior Portfolio
Jenny Lanaway, Resource Manager, Canadian National
Manager, TSYS International

4 What is NLP?

 What does NLP stand for?

 Some definitions of NLP

 Scope of NLP

 Scope of NLP4PM and behaviours

 Where did NLP come from?

 Overview of NLP

 4 Pillars of NLP

 How NLP bridges the communication divide

What does NLP stand for?

Neuro The connection between neurological processes,

Linguistic language and

Programming behaviour patterns that have been learned through experience
('programming') which can be organised to achieve specific goals in life.

It is an approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy.

Most of the processes (or 'patterns') that it uses have simply been modelled from
individuals who exhibit successful behaviours and strategies.


What is NLP ?

 A form of applied psychology

 The study of the structure of subjective experience

 The modelling of human excellence

 Looking for ‘the difference that makes the difference’

 A means of achieving Peak Performance

 It has been described as a system, a methodology, and a set of
processes.

 More than anything else to me though, NLP is an approach.


Scope of NLP


Scope of NLP4PM

Bringing two
worlds together
The world of PM NLP for PM The world of NLP


NLP aspects covered in NLP4PM

 The four pillars of NLP  Sensory acuity and body language

 Presuppositions of NLP  Sub-modalities – the coding of our
memories
 World-views & filters
 Anchoring of resourceful states
 The un-conscious mind – who is in
charge?  Rapport – the doorway to better
communications
 Beliefs, Values & Identity
 Surface & deep structure of
 Meta-programs & Behaviours language using the meta-model

 Frames and Re-framing  Time-lines, learning to be ‘in-time’

 Representational systems &  How to model excellence
primary senses


How can NLP be applied to PM behaviours ?

Self Other
(Personal Competence) (Social Competence)
Self awareness Sensory acuity
Feedback Listening
Recognition Self coaching Rapport
Presenting yourself Body language
Self confidence

State management Re-frame
Goal setting Assertiveness
Continuous development Conflict Management
Resilience & Stress Management Negotiation
Regulation Flexibility Motivation
Big picture / detail Feedback
Time Management Coaching
Modelling Delegation


Plan for increasing EI

Self Awareness

Self Management

Social Awareness

Social Influence

Leadership


Where did NLP come from ?

Miller Perls Bandler & Erikson
TOTE modelling Gestalt therapy Grinder Milton Model
7±2 Rep systems NLP Meta-model

Pavlov
Korzybski
Neuro-
linguistics
1950 1960 1970 1980 NLP
Semantics

Bateson Berne Satir Dilts James
Systems Theory Transactional Family Neurological Time-line
Cybernetics analyses therapy levels
Parts
Kahneman
Framing & Priming

Overview of NLP

 Experience has structure, coded by our representational
systems (sight, sound, feelings) and sub-modalities
(quality of our senses).

 All of our maps of the world are different, filtered by our
Values and Beliefs.

 NLP can help to understand our own behaviours (meta-
programs) and learn to explore other peoples maps of the
world.


Outcome thinking

© Peter Parkes 2013
Sensory awareness

29
NLP

Ecology
4 Pillars of NLP

Rapport

Behavioural flexibility
www.NLP4PM.com

Outcome thinking

© Peter Parkes 2013
Information

30
PM

Trust
4 Pillars of PM ?

Relationships

Behavioural flexibility
www.NLP4PM.com

NLP helps to develop flexible language and behaviour

Rapport

World view World view

Ideas Language & Effective Language & Ideas
Behaviour Behaviour
Communication

The component of the system
with the most flexibility
controls the system (Ashby)

5 Behaviours as meta-programs

 What are meta-programs?

 What are your behaviours ?

 Meta-programs and PM activities


Some behaviours / meta-programs (of over 60)

Person Thing
Oriented towards people and focuses on Focused on tasks, systems, ideas, tools.
feelings and thoughts. Getting the job done.
People are the task.

Self / Introvert Other / Extrovert
Needs to be alone to re-charge their Relaxes in the company of others.
batteries. Has a lot of surface relationships.
Few relationships with deep connections. Knows about a lot of things, but not in detail.
Interested in a few topics but to great detail.

Associated Dissociated
Feelings and relationships are important. Detached from feelings.
Task oriented.

Sameness Difference
Likes things to be the same. Likes challenge.
Doesn’t like surprises. Looks for opportunities to try new things.


Meta-programs – which are the best for PM ?

General Specific
Likes to take a ‘helicopter view’ and Likes to work with detailed
gets bored with detail. information and examples.
Options Procedures
Likes to generate choices. Good at generating logical flows.
Good at developing alternatives. Likes to have processes documented.

Independent Co-operative
Wants to work alone. Wants to work as part of a team.
Wants sole accountability. Likes shared responsibility.

In time Through time
Lives in the moment. Good at keeping track of time and
Creative but poor with deadlines. managing deadlines.
Goof at building relationships.

Exercise: PM activities and meta-programs

PM activity Big picture or detail ? Option or procedure ?

Outline business case

Executive report

Options appraisal

Schedule (Gantt chart)

Risk Register


6 Self awareness

‘He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened’
Lau Tzu

 In my pole of ‘top ten’ behaviours that stakeholders whish their PMs
had more of this was #1.

 There are many ways to become more self aware, once you have
inclination, but all involve seeking feedback, especially from those
that you do not get on so easily with.

 From NLP, I particularly like ‘Language and Behaviour’ profiling.


7 We all have different maps of the world


8 Representational Systems

 Main representational systems
(senses)

 Practicing language related to rep
systems

 Flexing and matching language


Main representational systems

 Visual  Kinaesthetic
 Like to see things  Like doing physical
 Like words relating to things
seeing things  Use the language of
doing
 Auditory
 Like to hear and tell
stories
 Listen to the sound of
words
 Use words related to
hearing

Audio-digital

 Led by a constant internal  We don't talk much about
dialogue Audio-digital as it has only
about a 2% representation in
 The language of logic the general population.

 Language void of verbs related  In our technical communities,
to senses however, they are massively
over-represented.


Exercise: Representation systems

Primary system Example Predicates Your examples
Clarify
Clear-cut
Visual Focus
Hindsight
Take a dim view
Discuss
Clear as a bell
Auditory Outspoken
Loud and clear
Harmonize
Impact
Get a load of this
Kinaesthetic Walk through the
proposal
Foundation
Stir up trouble

Exercise: Matching language to representational systems

Expressions of discomfort by Matching by respondent
client
1. I do not feel very comfortable 1. What support would you like ?
presenting this.

2. I don’t like what I am hearing. 2. What would you like me to say?

3. I don’t think you see my view. 3. Show me how you see it.

4. This doesn’t smell right to 4. How can we clear the air ?
me.
5. One of them is really sweet.
5. Are there any tastier
options ?


NLP bridging the divide to better communication

Rapport


Behaviour Behaviour
Communication


9 Perceptual positions

 Useful for negotiation in all its
forms

 Featured in December newsletter
and Blog

 You can download the exercise
from the NLP4PM.com website
under ‘free resources’


Perceptual positions

1st person 2nd person
Seeing, hearing and feeling Seeing, hearing and feeling the
the situation through your situation through the filters of
own filters the other person

The ability to
3rd person You will forget what
Seeing, hearing and feeling the
‘2nd position’ is situation through filters of a someone says to
a key life skill
detached observer you but you will
remember the way
they made you feel


10 Rapport – make it don’t fake it


Swansong


United front


NLP bridging the divide

Rapport


Behaviour Behaviour
Communication

The component of the system with
the most flexibility controls the
system (Ashby)

Matching the language of meta-programs

Proactive Reactive
Lets do it ! Analyse, consider, think about,
Go for it ! Set up a study group
JDI
Towards Away from
Outcomes, objectives, results, ?
achieve, deliver, milestones,
deliverables
?
Internal reference External reference
? What’s your opinion ?
Has anyone else used this approach ?

Match Mis-match
Common, same, Doesn’t fit,
I remember a situation like this Different,


Exercise: Meta-programmes for rapport

Best for building
rapport ?

Self / Introvert Other / Extrovert
Need to be alone to re-charge their batteries. Relaxes in the company of others.
Few relationships with deep connections. Have a lot of surface relationships.
Interested in a few topics but to great detail. Know about a lot of things, but not in detail.

Match Mismatch
Notice points of similarity. Notice differences.
Associated Dissociated
Feelings and relationships are important. Detached from feelings.
Work with information.
Task oriented.

In time Through time
Live in the moment. Good at keeping track of time and managing
Creative but poor with deadlines. deadlines.
Proactive Reactive
Initiates action. Analyses first then follows the lead from others.

Person Thing
Centred on feelings Centred on tasks


? Marriage made in heaven ?

 More importantly, what about you and your
client ?

 Are you in rapport ? If not, how can you start to
achieve it ?

 How can you connect ?

 Are communications as clear as a bell, a perfect
picture, or fully supported?

 Can you recall what language they use?

 What do you think their preferred
representation system is ?

 What does their map of the world look like?

 Which of their meta-programs are different to
yours, and how do you compensate?

 What are you going to do differently tomorrow?

Summary

 Knowing what to do is taken as given.

 The ‘how’, behavioural competences, differentiates those who get
things done from those frustrated by inertia and resistance.

 Changing behaviours requires only intent, a strategy and practice.

 Tools within the NLP approach, being based on modelling of
excellence and effective strategies for achieving desired outcomes,
can help to improve
 Self awareness
 Rapport and communications,
 Behavioural competences, and
 Social influence.


? Questions ?

Visit us at www.NLP4PM.com – free downloads

Book next NLP4PM course 15th April

Buy the book ‘NLP for Project Managers’ from Amazon

Talk to me on +44 7764 319600
Skype: Dr.Peter.Parkes

Email me at Peter.Parkes@NLP4PM.com

Join LinkedIn Group ‘NLP for Project Management’
Connect on LinkedIn: PeterParkesMBA

Twitter @ NLP4PM


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