Presentation by: Andy Inkster, MA Health Promoter LGBTQ Parenting Network Sherbourne Health Centre Toronto This is the public version of these slides. Adapted from a presentation developed by Rachel Epstein, PhD Coordinator LGBTQ Parenting Network An interactive workshop exploring what it means to make services welcoming and accessible to LGBTQ people and their families.  We’ll talk about the history and social context of LGBTQ parenting,  and some of the commonly-held negative ideas about LGBTQ people raising children. We’ll share findings from recent research on LGBTQ parenting, including people’s experiences with service providers, and reflect on personal and organizational beliefs and practices that help or hinder LGBTQ inclusivity. Come join us for an enlightening and practical workshop.  Bring your questions! 

1. Birth & Beyond Conference • October 3 2014 • London, ON
Andy Inkster, MA
Health Promoter
LGBTQ Parenting Network
Sherbourne Health Centre
Toronto
333 Sherbourne Street, Toronto, Ontario M5A 2S5 • (416) 324-4100 ext. 5276 • ainkster@sherbourne.on.ca
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What does it mean to be an LGBTQ
Positive Professional?

2. Workshop Description
An interactive workshop exploring what it means to make services
welcoming and accessible to LGBTQ people and their
families. We’ll talk about the history and social context of LGBTQ
parenting, and some of the commonly-held negative ideas about
LGBTQ people raising children.
We’ll share findings from recent research on LGBTQ parenting,
including people’s experiences with service providers, and reflect on
personal and organizational beliefs and practices that help or hinder
LGBTQ inclusivity.
Come join us for an enlightening and practical workshop. Bring your
questions!
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3. Agenda
 Labels & words
 What does it mean to be an LGBTQ positive
professional?
 Strategies at the individual and institutional level
 Homework
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4. In focus groups, people said:
 We want information and support in order to
create families.
 We want connection for ourselves and our
children with other LGBT families, opportunities
to hang out, socialize and to talk with others
about important issues.
 We are worried about our kids’ experiences in
schools.
 How do we find queer positive professionals?

5. What does it mean to be an
LGBTQ positive professional?

6. The Nuclear Family
 Heterosexual married monogamous couple
 Children genetically related to the parents
 Man earns the money
 Woman – caretaker
 All of these roles are natural

7. LGBTQ families challenge the
conventional nuclear family:
 People often parent children they are not
biologically related to
 Sometimes more than two parents
 Challenge the gendered division of labour
 May be more likely to form single parent by
choice households

8. How do you welcome
diversity in families?
Reflection #1

9. Sex
Female
Male
Intersex

10. Gender
Girl
Man
Feminine
Androgynous
Masculine
Fabulous!
Woman
Boy
Trans Cis

11. Sexuality
Lesbian Bisexual
Monosexual
Homosexual Heterosexual
Fantabulous!
Asexual
Straight Pansexual
Gay
Monogamous Polyamorous
Queer

12. Labels are tricky
 Sexuality and gender are flexible
 Identity and behaviour don’t always match
 What are all these new words?
Ask:
• How would you describe your
sexuality and gender?
• Who is in your family?

13. Homophobia
Fear of gay people.
Hatred toward gay people.
 Physical & verbal violence
 Legal & social persecution
 Stereotypes

14. Biphobia
Fear of bi people.
Hatred toward bi people.
 Physical & verbal violence
 Legal & social persecution
 Stereotypes

15. Transphobia
Fear of trans people.
Hatred toward trans people.
 Physical & verbal violence
 Legal & social persecution
 Stereotypes

16. Heterosexism
The assumption that everyone is
heterosexual.
Everyone should be heterosexual.

17. Monosexism
The assumption that everyone is
monosexual.
Everyone should be monosexual.
Monosexual:
Having only
one sexual
attraction

18. Cissexism
The assumption that everyone is
cisgender.
Everyone should be cisgender.
Cisgender:
not trans

19. Homophobia, Biphobia, Transphobia
Explicit, overt – bold
Heterosexism, Monosexism, Cissexism
Implicit, assumed - sneaky

20. Homophobia
“She (birth mother) had a post partum hemorrhage after
he was born. That was terrible. I had to drive her down
to the hospital, and then I couldn’t park the car so I let
her off and went running all over the place trying to find a
parking space. I arrived and told them who I was and
everything. They were laughing and nudging each
other and they wouldn’t let me go in. I had to sit out
there for an hour and I didn’t know whether she was O.K.
or bleeding to death.”
(Lorraine, 1995)

21. Heterosexism
We’re in the hospital, and they give us the wrist bands…
and the wrist band says ‘mother,’ and the other one
says ‘father,’right on the wristband.
…couldn’t you just give us two‘mother’ones, is that
going to confuse everybody too much?”
Ross, Steele & Epstein 2006

22. What impact does heterosexism
have on your practice?
Reflection #2
Two babies!
Two moms.
and a Dad.

23. Who’s in a family?
The twins were born by c-section.
The hospital policy is
only one support person
can be in the OR.
The parents all wish to attend the birth of
their babies.
How can you facilitate this with the
hospital staff?
Impact

24. What impact does cissexism have
on your practice?
Reflection #3
Kelly is 18 weeks
and just starting to
show.
Sarah is very excited
that her husband is
pregnant.

25. Do you work with trans people?
27% of trans people in
Ontario are parents
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Do you work with parents?

26. Childbirth Preparation
At your prenatal class, you separate the
moms and the dads into two groups for
some exercises.
What challenges might each of these
families experience?
 Two moms
 Two dads and gestational carrier
(surrogate)
 Single parent with four friends
 Trans man and his wife
Impact

27. Individual Strategies
 Educate yourself
 Rainbow Health Ontario
 Mount Sinai (Toronto) –
Be an Ally! Campaign
 Ally yourself with LGBTQ people
 Challenge homophobic, biphobic, and transphobic
jokes
 Find heterosexism, monosexism, and cissexism
and correct it

28. Drop a hint…
LGBTQ clients may look for cues
that services are LGBTQ
positive.
These might include positive
space imagery or posters and
brochures depicting LGBTQ
families.
Individual service providers can
provide cues that they are open
to LGBTQ families through
choice of gender-neutral
language, and attention to the
ways that questions are posed.

29. Language
“It was, ‘you and your husband, you and your
husband.’ Well, there are single people here;
there are people who aren’t married.
She’d keep correcting herself after the fact –
‘I mean partner, whatever.’
No, it’s not whatever.”
Ross, Steele & Epstein 2006

30. Talking with Clients
 Ask open-ended questions
 Use the same words as the client to
describe self, sexual partners,
relationships and identity
 Use gender-neutral language such as
“partner(s)” or “significant other(s)”
 If you make a mistake,
apologize and move on

31. Advocating with other
professionals
 Send information ahead with your referral
 Follow up with clients – how was that ultrasound clinic?
 Chart:
What will does the
care team need to know?

32. Whose comfort?
“Every time I'm in a health
situation, they'll always ask, would
you like your husband to come in,
and I'll just say no, my “friend” is
here…I'm hesitant to create a
situation where I think there's going
to be discomfort because
it makes me uncomfortable
when they get uncomfortable”
MOMs participant

33. Organizational Change
 Review your organization’s strengths and
challenges
 Are there staff, colleagues or community groups
who can support you?
 Can you form a committee?
 Should LGBTQ equity be integrated into broader
equity initiatives or approached separately?

34. Management
 Critically examine programs and services
 Are your programs meeting the needs of
LGBTQ people?
 Ensure that staff are trained and evaluated
 Promote increased inclusion of LGBTQ people
at all levels of the organization
 Celebrate LGBTQ clients, staff and volunteers

35. Organizations can:
 Name sexual orientation and gender identity explicitly in
agency anti-discrimination and equity statements
 Act to prevent and react to homophobic, biphobic, and
transphobic incidents.
 Include LGBTQ knowledge in advertising, qualifications
and interviews when recruiting staff and volunteers
 Recognize public events (Pride, International Day against
Homophobia, Trans Day of Remembrance)

36. Organizational Change:
 Set targets, review progress, modify strategies,
address problems
 Look for allies and supports from LGBTQ
communities to help keep the momentum
 Develop and deepen relationships with LGBTQ
people and communities
 Look for connections between
different issues and types
of oppression

37. Signs
There’s a sign at the ultrasound office:
Fathers to be:
if this is a pregnancy ultrasound
fathers must wait in the waiting room
You know, it’s exclusionary,
it’s not necessary,
it’s just a question of somebody
thinking to put the language the right way,
it doesn’t have to exclude different kinds of families.
MOMs participant

38. Communications
 Language can be excluding, neutral or
inclusive
 This group is for new moms and dads…
 This group is for new parents….
 This group is for new parents from all kinds of
families…
 Photos, and graphics in brochures, on
website, and at choice of art, posters
and community information

39. Forms
…when it says “father” and “mother”, and we have to
cross it out and write “mother”
I hate that. It should be like parent or guardian one and
parent or guardian two. It’s really oppressive, every time
having to cross it out … even at my school which was very
progressive, a very awesome school, but even they had
forms that said “mother” and “father.” It’s just annoying
… it’s like straight until proven otherwise.
(child of lesbian moms)

40. Clinic space?
Client records? Posters?
Health promotion materials?
Forms?
Language?
How is your care
gendered?
Information? Washrooms?
Homework # 1

41. ALLY yourself with
LGBTQ people
• Videos
• Resources
• Tools
• E-learning modules
Developed for health care providers
http://www.mountsinai.on.ca/about_
us/human-rights/ally
Homework # 2

42. Meet our Resources
Brochures, booklets, & info sheets from
LGBTQ Parenting Network:
 LGBT Adoption in Ontario (booklet)
 Assisted Human Reproduction Guidebook
 Brochures:
 Parenting options for GBQ Men
 Choosing a sperm donor: Known or Unknown?
 Insemination procedures
 Co-parenting
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Homework # 3

43. Free resource – produced
by BestStart and LGBTQ
Parenting Network
Relevant to all
professionals who work
with parents, prospective
parents, and children.

44. Report: Transforming Family
Trans Parents and their Struggles, Strategies, and
Strengths
44 Page report describing the
experiences of trans parents
Recommendations for:
 Social services
 Health
 Legal
 Educational institutions.
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45. Info Sheets
LGBTQ Parenting Recognition
 Birth Registration in Ontario
 Second Parent Adoption
in Ontario
 Declarations of Parentage
in Ontario
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Coming soon!

46. 46
Queer & Trans Family Planning
A weekend course for people of diverse family
structures and identities, including gender queer, trans,
bisexual, poly, pan or omni-sexual, dyke, butch, femme,
boi, lesbian, gay, queer, or other, and their partners.
Outside Toronto? Join us for the weekend!
Fall 2014 Session
Friday, November 28 - Sunday, November 30
at Sherbourne Health Centre, Toronto
$125+ HST per person, sliding scale available
Register online: lgbtqpn.ca/planning
Joint programs of :
Queer Parenting Programs at The 519 Church Street Community Centre
LGBTQ Parenting Network at Sherbourne Health Centre

47. Fertility Support
(in)Fertility support is generally
cisnormative and heterocentric
Still Trying:
LGBTQ fertility
peer support group
Once a month at
Sherbourne Health Centre
Toronto
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48. Further Training
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Rachel Epstein
Coordinator
LGBTQ Parenting Network
Sherbourne Health Centre
333 Sherbourne Street
Toronto, ON
M5A 2S5
(416) 324-4100 ext. 5219
repstein@sherbourne.on.ca

49. Andy Inkster
Health Promoter
LGBTQ Parenting Network
Sherbourne Health Centre
333 Sherbourne Street
Toronto, ON
M5A 2S5
www.LGBTQParentingNetwork.ca
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(416) 324-4100 ext. 5276
ainkster@sherbourne.on.ca
/LGBTQPN
@LGBTQPN