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DEVELOPING AND
MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS
         REAL COMMUNICATIONS
     by Dan O’Hair AND Mary Wiemann
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

  Two individuals
  interconnect and are
  interdependent
  through relationships.
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

  Interpersonal
  communication is the
  exchange of verbal and
  nonverbal messages
  between people who
  have a relationship and
  are influenced by a
  partner’s message.
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

  Your relational network
  is a web of
  relationships that
  connect individuals.

      family
      friendship
      love
      online friendship
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

  Friendship is a close
  and caring relationship
  between two people
  that is mutually
  beneficial and
  satisfying.
       available
       caring
       honest
       confidential
       loyal
       empathic
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

  Love is a relationship
  which you have deep
  affection, passion, and
  commitment.

      eros
      ludus
      storge
      pragma
      mania
      agape
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

To satisfy basic human
needs...

  We have a need for
  companionship, to
  involve others in our
  lives, and to be
  involved in other’s
  lives, or inclusion.
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

To satisfy basic human
needs...

  We have an innate
  need for intellectual,
  emotional, and
  physical stimulation.
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

To satisfy basic human
needs...

  We might enter into
  relationships in order
  to fulfill a goal,
  whether emotional or
  practical.
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??


Proximity

Physical attractiveness

Similarity
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

Attraction-similarity
hypothesis

    The extent to
    which we project
    ourselves to others
    is a direct result of
    the attraction we
    feel toward them.
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

Matching hypothesis

    We seek
    relationships with
    those that have
    comparable levels
    of attractiveness.
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

Genetic-similarity
hypothesis

    We tend to form
    relationships with
    those of the same
    ethnic group due to
    greater genetic
    similarity.
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

            Social exchange of costs
            and benefits means that
            you accept the good
            with the bad.

            Rewards are the things
            that benefit you.

            Costs are the things
            that upset you.
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

            Uncertainty reduction
            theory says that when two
            people meet, they try to
            decrease the uncertainty
            between them.

                monitoring
                proactive strategies
                indirect strategies
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

            Relational dialectics
            theory is experiencing
            contradicting or
            opposing feelings
            about your partner
            and about the
            relationship.

            Dialectical tensions
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

            Dialectical tensions
            when you have
            conflicting goals.
                 autonomy vs.
                 connection
                 openness vs.
                 closedness
                 predictability vs.
                 novelty
WITHHOLDING INFORMATION

 Social penetration theory

     When people move
     from a superficial
     level in a
     relationship to a
     more intimate level.
WITHHOLDING INFORMATION

 Communication privacy
 management theory

     Describes how you
     perceive
     information about
     yourself and how
     you disclose or
     protect it.
WITHHOLDING INFORMATION

 Strategic topic avoidance
 is used to maneuver the
 conversation away from
 undesirable topics.
RELATIONSHIP STAGES

Initiating stage

Exploratory stage

Intensification stage

Stable stage

     partners are
     integrating and
     bonding
RELATIONSHIP STAGES


Declining stage when
things fall apart.

    uncertainty events
    interference
    unmet
    expectations
RELATIONSHIP STAGES

Repair tactics
     improving
     communication
     focus on the
     positive
     reinterpreting
     behaviors with a
     more balanced
     view
RELATIONSHIP STAGES

Termination stage
    fading of the
    relationship
    death
RELATIONSHIP STAGES

Reconciliation
     spend more time
     together
     mediation
     civil resolution
     don’t give up
     mutual interaction
     miss each other

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Developing and Maintaining Relationships

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