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On Private Writing - Peter Miller
In Chapter 10 of The Common Sense of Teaching Reading and Writing, Dr. Gattegno draws
attention to the "first awareness we want to force within our students...that almost all students
have something to say." He continues: "If we can make our students aware of the source of
the flow of words in them we shall be able to concern ourselves with the main obstacles in
them, which is that alone in front of a blank sheet of paper they so often find nothing in them
to put down....It seems much more reasonable and handier, to lead everyone to recognize that
in our spoken speech words pour out spontaneously, well-organized, and generally acceptable
to us as the equivalent of what we think, want or feel." (241).
In the paragraph preceding this one, Dr. Gattegno has forged a bond between the spoken and
the written word: "We all take for granted that there is a place for speech and that using it
every day for so many varied functions, is natural and therefore of no special significance for
us even in other circumstances. Still, who can deny that before we would put anything down
on paper we must have had it available in the spoken medium? The fleeting properties of the
spoken language and the properties of language which make many expressions equivalent,
distract us from the relationship between the stable permanent written paragraphs and the
evanescence of speech." (240-1)
These remarks flow from the central point that the "first awareness of ourselves as people
having something to say and saying it on many occasions, is the most primitive one. It is also
the most important one when we want to generate in a group of students the basis for
involvement in a writing course." (240)
It is no exaggeration that most people completely overlook their capacities as long-time,
spontaneous producers of speech as the soundest and most obvious source for writing. It also
seems to have been routinely ignored for years by virtually all writing teachers. But this fact
comes as no surprise to me, since I often overlook it in my own composing. After a
protracted silence, it is usually only by talking to someone else or saying to myself, "Look,
Peter, just say out loud what you want to write," that I can force a crack in the glacial ice that
keeps the words frozen within me.
Regardless of a person's writing level, the simple request to draw on this resource by keeping
one's pen moving for 10 minutes without looking back to correct oneself or read over one's
work--a practice known as "free writing"--is generally met with curiosity and
suspicion. Right away, students want to know: "Do I have to read my writing to anyone
else?" (No) and "Can I write about anything I want?" (Yes).
The real desire for privacy and freedom of expression implicit in these questions form the
basis of what has come to be called "private writing," that is, writing for one's eyes
only. Every writing class I teach begins with 10 minutes of "free writing." Every student
keeps a journal outside class to write in for 10 minutes, five days a week. Although in some
respects these requests are for writing on demand, and constitute an argument against the
spontaneous creation of words on the page, it is far more true, I think, that most students
welcome the chance to be with themselves as writers, and put down on paper what is on their
minds and in their hearts.
The practice of "free writing" and journal keeping naturally cultivate one's private, inner
voices--one's speaking voices--as the central resource for writing. Such writing activities
evoke Dr. Gattegno's "awareness we want to force within our students" that their private or
inner voice(s) are the "first" and "most primitive" sources of something to say. They are
asked to draw on their knowledge, their memories and past experiences, their strong feelings

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and intuition, their imagination and story-telling abilities, their sense of doubt, wonder,
curiosity and questioning, their powers of observation and capacity to create pictures, their
conscience, their convictions, and so on. For most, these are the first occasions in their
careers as students that anyone has asked them to talk to themselves and for themselves alone.
Students are also asked to reflect on these activities and describe anonymously what they have
learned about themselves as writers. What follows are excerpts of my students' remarks about
private writing drawn from the various writing classes I taught during the past academic year,
along with remarks of my own in italics, to acknowledge some of the important ramifications
of Dr. Gattegno’s remark that, "the awareness that any writing has its source in a sequence of
statements verbalizing what one experiences is affectively liberating" (242) and "permit[s]
their movement towards emotional freedom" (243).
"Private writing is something you keep to yourself. A good example is our journals that we
did five times a week. Our journals are private because we write down many personal
feelings and thoughts which are not meant to be read by the public."
"Private writing is from within. Anything is possible. I can ramble on about nothing, but
it is alright because no one else is reading it. I like private writing best because I can dig
down deep into myself and say how I feel. In class and at home I experience and work on
private writing. I keep a journal of all my thoughts, memories, problems and strong
feelings.
This journal is done daily and it gives me a chance to talk to myself. In private writing, I
use all of my emotions in detail because I am the only one who is going to read it."
These first three comments, reiterated frequently by other students, express the essential
freedom and sanctity of private writing, free from the prying eyes of the public. There is, as
well, an appreciation of the range and depth of feeling that one can reach when these
conditions are permitted and an awareness of developing some inner criteria of meaning. A
glimpse of this range and depth is found in the following two responses.
"I learned that my private writing helps me to clear my head. I'm a much more sensitive,
caring and empathetic person than I thought I was. I also learned to become more
connected with my true self. For example, one day I just cleared my head and wrote what I
felt on the paper. I was shocked. I asked my fiance to marry me. I couldn't believe that
that came out of me."
"I enjoy private writing. I write down all my thoughts and feelings at the end of the day,
happy and sad stuff. One idea goes into another. A friend died. He was very young. It
was hard to go to the wake. He committed suicide by asphyxiation in his car. It's so sad. I
wrote about that because it affected me deeply. He was married for ten years to his
highschool sweetheart. She suddenly decided she wanted to be single and twenty-one
again. What a handsome, nice person. He was only 32 years old."
"First, private writing. This type of writing is totally up to you because it is private. In
private writing, there are no rules. For example, when you are writing privately, there
should never be any dead spots, because there is so much you can write about. Write about
things such as past experiences, memories, dreams, problems, strong feelings. The great
thing about writing is that you have the power to do anything."
"There is a specific kind of writing called private writing. This is a type of writing that you
write to yourself. You can write quickly and not really worry about punctuation. It is
private. You can also look over it afterwards and make corrections. You can write
whatever you want and then some. Nobody has to read it unless you want them to."

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"I think willingness is the most important attribute in private writing. For example, I never
knew what private writing was until I learned that it is just writing to yourself where no-one
else reads it but you. In the beginning, I didn't think I was able to do private writing. I felt
that I wasn't a good writer. I know now that all you need is a piece of paper, you, and a
pen in order to be a writer."
In these comments, students express other freedoms derived from private writing: that there
are no rules, that it brings "power" to express whatever comes to mind and "control" over
one's own work, and with that, an appreciation of one's own abundance. Moreover, matters of
correctness are seen to interfere with the rapid and spontaneous flow of words and can be put
aside (temporarily) so that the words can get onto the page. Finally, a sense of self-discovery
and new-found freedom surrounds the last selection, along with an awareness that putting
oneself wholly into the activity is more fundamental than anything else.
"I never expected to call myself writer. I always believed a writer was someone who
published a book or worked for a newspaper or magazine. Since I've been in this course,
I've learned that I am a writer. No matter what I put down on paper, I am a writer. As a
writer, I enjoy writing publicly and found out that writing privately can be therapeutic. I
learned writing is a freedom. Free to write our own ideas and thoughts. Free to let our
thoughts flow through ink and placed on paper. As a private writer, I learned I can write
so much just by listening to my inner thoughts and not worry about who is going to read it
or criticize my work. In past English classes we were graded on writing, so it did not give
me so much freedom to write down inner feelings because I was so worried about the
structure on my work."
"This class has taught me something that maybe I always knew but never had to
confidence to say out loud. Now I can say it. I am a good writer, if I choose to let myself
be me. All through high school my English writing was graded and criticized by people
who wanted me to write what they wanted to hear. So I began to lose confidence in my
ability as an essay writer. In this class, I've learned that I can write and achieve
satisfaction through my writing, once I'm given the freedom to do so. "Freedom"--I think
that is my favorite word to come out of this class. I love being given abstract topics and the
freedom to write about them as I choose. The one thing I am glad of is that I am writing
again and enjoying it the way I used to when I was in primary school. The "still-life" made
me want to write a novel one day, maybe--I don't know. When I was writing it, I knew I
could have gone on for days and made new characters, even a whole new town--I wanted it
to come to life."
"I've learned that I am a writer. Writing used to be just a thing that I did for English class.
Now it has become a part of me. As a private writer, I can get my thoughts down on paper
and as a public writer I can inform others of my thoughts and experiences and
feelings. Life can be so much more interesting when I write down the things that go on in
my life or things that go through my head. Writing used to be a section on my notebook for
English class. There was no differentiation between private and public writing. Now that I
think about it, I had to treat all of my writing as public. Even my journal was to be read by
someone or I would be required to read it aloud. Discovering that my mind is always full,
actually I would consider it overflowing, I feel that I can always write. If a picture is worth
a thousand words, then life must be worth infinity. Writing is putting life down on paper. It
is a flow. My mind has become a waterfall leading to my pen and the information just flows
onto the paper."
The theme of "abundant flow" emerging from the sanctity and freedom of private writing is a
strong and pervasive one. As well, some students recall an earlier time in their lives when
they were aware of this pleasure, only to have seen it disappear later in their education. Also,

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the acknowledgement of oneself as a "writer," in its most fundamental meaning simply as one
who writes, is seen as a tremendously powerful and nurturing awareness. It seems that
kindness and generosity toward oneself and one's inherent gifts of self-expression, a kind of
bountiful and benign laissez faire, inaugurate the birth of this awareness. There is plenty of
time for analysis, rewriting, criticism, self-reproach, the hunt for le mot juste: all those
activities of the writing process that follow composing. Here are several graduate students
responding similarly with the theme of abundant flow and the recovery of a long-lost friend.
“The ability to call forth the inner voice in writing is probably a matter of habit. Having
forced myself for years to write in an audibly formal style, it is a pleasure to regain some of
the spontaneity that I used to feel about writing as a teenager--when I still thought it was
fun; before I found out it had to be good; had to say something. It surprises me to think
that free writing is useful as a way to find the inner voice. I think I have resisted that idea
for way too long."
"My inner voice is charged; ready and waiting to be tapped. Tonight each prompt enabled
me to connect with my inner voice. The interesting outgrowth of tonight's exercises was
that my voice responded differently to each particular focus. It was tapped, as it were, for
specific information, which it readily yielded. It also comforted me to engage it--to listen to
it--to be in tune with it. It is like an old friend."
Finally, I would like to turn to the comments of those students in my composition class for
whom English is a second language, a population now comprising over 40% of the students in
the City University of New York. I have identified the country of each writer in parentheses.
"To start a sentence I would take like five to seven minutes, wrecking [sic] my brain as to
how to start and so on. But now I feel a strange way, I feel I could start straight away
because of this experience of free writing, being open all the time and to think the cup is
always full. I have only got to put my pen on the paper, it magically gets going and I don't
stop even to scratch or adjust myself. When I think of what I am going to write, soon
things come to my mind and remain lively, some ring, still ring in my ears, words told and
repeated many times. I always postponed and delayed because writing took a long time to
get started and complete. But it has taken a new and unbelievable turn. The first thing I
want to do when I go home is to complete all my writing assignments because I enjoy it
now." (Sri Lanka)
"Before, I used to write and check every word and see if I spell it wrong or right, does it fit
in the sentence or even make sense. I used to check and check. I wasted so much time
checking. Also, I am used to be given a topic and even guidelines how to write it. Now I
learned that writing is a flow of thoughts and writing is an expression of my own feelings
and it does not matter if others agree or disagree with my feelings. The freedom of
choosing our own topic is a new experience for me. Once I chose the topic, I find myself
on a roll. It gives me courage to write more and that my ideas should not have to be
approved by anybody." (Egypt)
"When I write something as a private writing, I can can write anything I want. I can see
my own world there. Whatever I write is my experience, my feeling, my document. I
learned that to keep writing is the most important thing about writing. I don't have to look
back at the previous sentence. I used to be afraid of showing my writing to others, because
I thought I could not write something in English well, and I would have many wrong
grammar, incorrect expression, misspelling, etc. But I know these don't matter. I just keep
going. I can always correct my wrong sentences later." (Japan)
"Private writing is good and excellent feeling, because my pen is going down line by line or
even page by page without having too much concentration. Also, I have enjoyed counting

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my lines, 'one, two, three... fifty.' What a success at my job I have never gotten since 1990
when I came to America." (Korea)
"I never practiced the free 10-minute writing before. So on the first day I wrote 11 lines.
Too less? I thought I did my best. Nonetheless, next day I write about 30 lines. Therefore,
when two days later, you told us about the cup which is always full and the stream which is
always flowing, for me it was an English expression of what I already learned myself. I
really enjoy doing it. Since I've never practiced private writing in Russia, I need more
freedom to open myself to the topic. So I make myself write in the journal as often and as
long as I can. I don't want to stop until I have at least two pages." (Russia)
"I've learned that my writing, once directed with the freedom of this course, can be a
spontaneous and natural extension of my thoughts. This is a first time experience for
me. Before I used to write about whatever the teacher wanted me to write about, and so my
writing was done with the attitude of getting it done as fast as possible. To my mind,
freedom, which is so evident in this course, is the key to genuine writing as a reflection
about a person and his feeling. In my case this kind of approach to writing enables me to
release myself of all kinds of mental inhibitions. Writing for me is no longer this boring
and agonizing activity which I must force myself to do. It is fun, unlimited and curing."
(Israel)
A concluding image: 35 students sit at their desks in a large circle. The classroom is packed,
a full house. It is early June, and we are in the third day of a "heat wave." It is about 85 F at
9:00 in the morning, going up to about 100 F by the time the class ends at 12 noon Students
are in the middle of writing privately for ten minutes. As they write, I watch and listen. The
only sound in the room comes from two air conditioners turned to "most cold/high fan". The
silence grows heavy. A felt tip pen flies off a desk; a pencil drops and remains on the
floor. No one notices. Pens move continuously across the page. No one looks around; no
one looks up from their writing. No one squirms in the seat. A student sneezes; no one says,
"God bless you." Pages turn quickly to keep the flow of writing going. A student continues
to look at her writing, as she shakes the stiffness from her hand. The non-writing hands of
students remain motionless and at rest, almost non-existent. I am struck by the awareness that
these students obviously feel they have something to say, and through the agency of private
writing, certainly appear to be "affectively liberating" themselves and "moving towards
emotional freedom."
© Peter Miller College of Staten Island City University of New York The Science of
Education in Questions - N° 12 - 1995
"On Private Writing" by Peter Miller is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-
NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.