Geeks go on a road trip to Comic Con.

1. Geeky Road Trip Film
By
Thomas Sorensen
Thomas Sorensen
13440 Friar St. Los Angeles
91401
thomassorensenfilm@gmail.com
314-660-7360

2. FADE IN:
EXT. CITY - DAY
A news clip clicks on a Television set.
Video Footage Montage of GEEKY PEOPLE, wearing a variety of
pop culture reference T shirts, other eccentric outfits, and
tattoos walking around down town city.
NARRATOR
Nerds, Geeks, regular people that
just happen to wear glasses or
short sleeve dress shirts with pens
in their pockets.
They walk into bars, restaurants, and store fronts. A LADY
walks a dog.
NARRATOR
They look like normal people, but
don’t be fooled. Blessed are the
Geeks for they shall inherit the
earth.
INT. ESTABLISHMENTS - DAY
Montage of Interiors of a variety bars, restaurants,store
fronts, and Geeky people inside of them.
NARRATOR
A week from now thousands of nerds,
geeks, dorks, dweebs, weebs,
spazes, and other people will crowd
into the 25th annual San Deigo
Comic Con.
A REPORTER asks a MAN ON THE STREET what he thinks.
REPORTER
What do you think about comic con?
MAN ON STREET
It threatens our way of life, our
popularness, our baller social
circles, they think they are cool
but they really arn’t, we are cool.
Know what will always be cool?
A Mustang, a perfect spiral, Jakes
dope haircut he got that one time.

3. 2.
REPORTER
Well you’ve heard it hear, everyone
besides this man have caught geek
fever and they need a doctor.
Medical officials will be on site
to aid people suffering from
asthma, social anxiety, and fan boy
fainting.
The Television clip Clicks off.
EXT. COMIC SHOP - DAY
The sun shines across a comic book store front.
INT. PULP AND STUFF COMIC SHOP - DAY
CURT,(27), a stocky man wearing a Captain America shirt
stands in a comic shop and is flipping through a long box of
comic books. JOHN,(28), a skinny shaggy haired man wearing a
Donkey Kong T shirt walks into the shop and also begins to
flip through books.
JOHN
Hey Curt.
CURT
Where were you, John?
JOHN
My mom made me do the dishes before
I left.
CURT
I already picked up my books for
the week.
JOHN
Are you still getting Justice
League?
CURT
No. Can’t afford too many books.
JOHN
Bummer. Want me to spot you?
CURT
No that’s ok. Oh hey, San Diego
Comic Con is next week.

4. 3.
JOHN
Too bad we can’t go to it, tickets
are so hard to get.
CURT
Yeah, Its stupid we live in Seattle
and haven’t been. Its like living
next door to Mecca and never going.
We could just zip down the coast.
JOHN
I think you are underestimating the
distance but I get your point. I
once made a want list for Christmas
and it was San Diego Comic Con
listed 38 times.
CURT
I know right. Think of all the
artists we could see, we could show
them our Radioactive Couch-man
Comic we have been working on.
JOHN
We make it big, and rule the land
of exclusives, comics, and $80
autographs.
CURT
Bi-pass the lines that are
1,000,000 nerds long.
JOHN
Geeks, and yes it’s mouth watering
in every aspect.
Curt makes his way to the counter and checks out.
EXT. PULP AND STUFF COMICS - DAY
Curt and John walk out of the store and begin to walk down
the street.
JOHN
Where should we grab a bite to eat?
CURT
I can’t today. I’ve got to go see
Lindy in a bit.

5. 4.
JOHN
Are you serious? We get comics and
food every Wednesday. Ever since
you met Lindy at that Patrick
Ruthfuss book signing you are busy
all the time.
CURT
I know man, she just really wants
to hang out.
JOHN
She has got you by the balls man,
they were swinging, and now she has
got them. And you are not even
dating.
John acts our a grabbing motion.
CURT
Do you have to be so crude?
JOHN
Yes, it’s called shock value. You
can’t even go get food with your
best friend. You’ve got to go get
Mani pedis.
CURT
You’re just jealous we have a new
friend in the group that has boobs
that aren’t prefixed with the word
man, and that she wants to spend
time with me.
Curt stops to tie his shoe.
CURT (CONT.)
Also We’re not getting mani pedis.
But I will say I would be happy if
we were, they are freaking awesome.
JOHN
What are you doing?
CURT
Were going to marathon the Twilight
Movies.
JOHN
You suck Curt. When I accidentally
watched the first one thinking it
was a Twilight Zone movie it was

6. 5.
JOHN
the worst vampire experience I have
ever had.
CURT
What about that time you were
actually attacked by a vampire bat?
JOHN
Oh yeah. Chicks do not dig guys
with parasites.
CURT
Don’t you have work soon anyway?
JOHN
That’s irrelevant. I can show up
whenever I want. They can’t fire
me, they would be lost with out
their fearless leader.
CURT
We are both fry cooks at Burger
Shack, calm down Tony Stark.
JOHN
Screw you, its just a matter of
time before they give me that
promotion.
CURT
Hey, they might give it to me you
know.
JOHN
That’s the spirit Curt, you keep
telling yourself that. Like I keep
telling myself I am the next Brian
K. Vaughn and being a fry cook is
only temporary.
CURT
Is it, we do the starving artist
thing for a bit before Couch-Man
become a massive hit. Just based
off statistics, eventually someone
has to like our work.
A person walks by with a dog and John stops to pet it.
JOHN (CONT.)
Anyway, still better than being
whinny Peter Parker whipped by Mary
Jane over here.

7. 6.
CURT
Hey, one, Peter Parker and Mary
Jane were a romance for the ages,
two, we are not dating.
JOHN
Fine. Anyway are you going to
Todd’s Tomorrow night?
CURT
I should be.
JOHN
You’re not bringing Lindy are you?
CURT
Maybe, shes pretty great, she can
probably name more Simpsons quotes
than you, I don’t see why you don’t
like her.
JOHN
Dude come on. She’s an
over-analyzier. Remember when we
invited her to Mario Bros 3 night
and she just kept talking about how
if Mario really wanted change he
should take non-violent
socio-politcal action?
CURT
Fine. I won’t bring her.
JOHN
Perfect, more time for us guys, we
don’t hang like we used to.
John stops in front of a bar.
JOHN
Are you sure we can’t just stop in
for a quick drink and burger? Mary
Jane doesn’t have to know.
Curt looks at his watch.
CURT
Fine, if it will get you off my
back. Also, do you really think I
might have a shot?
They walk into the bar.

8. 7.
INT. GEEK BAR - DAY
Curt and John sit at a crowded bar. The bar is decorated
with pop culture items, arcade games, video games, and TVs.
They both have menus shaped like robots. A WAITER who is
wearing a red Star Trek Uniform comes over to their table.
JOHN
I will have a pint of your cheapest
beer and a double cheese burger.
The waiter looks at Curt.
CURT
Same but no beer.
The waiter walks away.
JOHN
No beer?
CURT
Lindy pointed out I should try to
save more money.
John makes a whipping motion and whipping sound with a laser
like tone.
CURT
Hey, Im trying to grow up a little
bit man. As much as I love Kevin
Smith movies, we can’t be slackers
forever. We’re in our late twenties
and none of us or our friends even
have cars.
John repeats the motion.
CURT
What is that sound, is that a whip?
JOHN
A Laser whip.
CURT
Fine. Waiter.
The waiter comes back over. Curt looks at the menu.
CURT
I’ll have a Spider Island Iced Tea.
The waiter nods and walks away. Curt looks at John.

9. 8.
CURT
Just one.
CUT TO:
INT. BAR - LATER THAT DAY
Curt and John sit at the bar with empty plates and multiple
empty glasses each.
CURT
How can you say that the new
Hawkeye comics are not the best
thing ever?
JOHN
It’s ehh.
CURT
What?
JOHN
Its ok, just I think its overrated.
CURT
Over rated? Pshh.
John Laughs and looks at his watch.
JOHN
Hey when where you going to see
Lindy?
CURT
At 7.
JOHN
So, its okay that it’s 8:30, right?
CURT
Shit, I’ve got to go.
JOHN
See ya. And remember don’t bring
her tomorrow.
Curt throws some money on the bar and runs out.

10. 9.
INT. TODD’S HOUSE - NEXT EVENING
Curt and John sit on a dirty looking couch in an apartment
living room covered in geek and pop culture related posters,
action figures, and other comic related items. TODD,(26),
man with long curly hair wearing an open bathrobe and no
shirt or pants plays a Nintendo Entertainment System.
LINDY,(29), quirky looking girl wearing a blue sweater and
jeans sits in between Curt and John looking very bored.
LINDY
I’m bored. I’m gonna use the
bathroom.
Lindy gets up.
TODD
How can you be bored? The Duck
Tales game is a classic.
Lindy gives Todd a look of confusion and walks away.
JOHN
You brought her?
CURT
She wanted to come, I couldn’t say
no.
JOHN
Sure you could have, this is dudes
night.
CURT
Okay, but to be fair that is every
night.
TODD
You guys want a turn?
JOHN
No.
CURT
Don’t be such a popular yet
affordable bicycle, John.
JOHN
Are you saying I’m being Huffy?
CURT
Yes, and I have a surprise that
Might cheer you up.

11. 10.
JOHN
Harrison Ford is coming over?
CURT
No, but you might like to know that
I happen to have a way for us to
get 4 tickets to San Diego Comic
Con.
JOHN
Really?
CURT
Yeah.
TODD
Oh. I would kill to go.
Todd turns his head and looks very serious.
TODD
Kill.
John looks at Todd and then back to Curt.
JOHN
Okay, that’s not slightly
concerning. So how do you have
tickets?
CURT
This morning our boss offered me
them. Said something like he won
them in a radio contest and that
I’m into that nerdy shit and I
could take my boyfriends.
TODD
What a prick. Who also is
confusingly nice. Watch your back,
if he ever offers you Kool-aid
don’t drink it. No matter how
sugary and sexy their mascot is.
Thank goodness I was fired a long
time ago.
Curt looks and frowns at Todd.
JOHN
So we have been sitting here
playing this ridiculous game
talking about nothing while you’ve
been sitting on this treasure trove
of information?

12. 11.
TODD
Hey, respect the classics.
CURT
I was thinking we could finally
make our geek pilgrimage to SDCC.
JOHN
My god, this is going to be
awesome!
CURT
We all know what comic con means.
JOHN
Rows and rows of stuff I don’t need
but will die if I don’t have.
CURT
Exactly.
TODD
My mouth is watering. We go to
Comic Con and then people will
finally respect us.
CURT
4 tickets baby. Enough for all of
us. All we need to do is get there.
TODD
Wait, who is the fourth ticket for?
Lindy comes back into the room.
LINDY
Did he tell you guys? Looks like we
are all going to comic con
together.
John turns and stares intensely at Curt.
JOHN
Lindy?
CURT
I figured the more the merrier.
JOHN
Curt, That’s the logic of hoarders.
Two best buds not good enough for
you?

13. 12.
CURT
Do you want the ticket or not?
JOHN
I love you Lindy.
Todd and John look at Curt who smiles awkwardly.
INT. GEEK BAR - DAY
John, Todd, and Lindy sit at a table with maps, brochures,
comics, and notebooks. Curt carries 4 beers over to the
table. There is a spot next to John and Lindy. Curt chooses
to sit next to Lindy and John notices this.
CURT
Ok, this is a once in a life time
chance for us guys. Broke geeks
getting tickets to comic con. This
will change our lives. We can put
this on our resumes. We just need
to iron out a plan.
TODD
All the comics.
JOHN
All the girls.
LINDY
John you’re disgusting. Also pretty
costumes.
JOHN
Pretty costumes? Are you serious?
Cosplay artists.
LINDY
You guys are ridiculous.
TODD
Ridiculously excited. I saw the
comic con exclusive action figures
list and wept with joy.
CURT
Either way. We still have the
little problem of getting there.
Last time I checked none of us had
a vehicle.

14. 13.
TODD
I’ll take car of that.
JOHN
Did you just say you would take car
of that?
TODD
Yeah. Get it Car, care, car.
JOHN
You suck Todd.
CURT
How would you get this car, Todd?
TODD
I know a guy.
CURT
A guy?
TODD
An old guy.
JOHN
Old guy?
TODD
Yeah I saw him on the bus the other
day. Said that he was trying to
sell his Van.
CURT
Ok, yeah, check that out. That
sounds like a Grand Caravan of an
idea.
They all frown at Curt as Curt laughs to himself.
JOHN
I’m not letting you drive though.
Last time you borrowed your parents
car when we went to the Harry
Potter premier you almost hit that
kid dressed as Ron Weasly.
TODD
To be fair there are so many Weasly
kids I doubt anyone would have
noticed, but thats a good idea, I
don’t even have a license.

15. 14.
CURT
God Damn it, Todd.
CURT
What the Fuck, Todd.
TODD
Hey you guys wanted a ride, I got
you a ride, and Ill get us another
ride.
CURT
Ok. Next we need a place to stay.
JOHN
I think I have like a long lost
cousin out there or something. I’ll
talk to my mom about it.
CURT
ok, check. Next a plan for while we
are at the con. Maximize
efficiency, get our work seen, and
also have fun. We’re not gonna be
those Big Bang Theory fan suckers
and just walk around aimlessly.
LINDY
I like the Big Bang Theory.
JOHN
You would.
LINDY
What does that mean?
CURT
There’s some weak points to the
show.
LINDY
Like what?
TODD
It makes geeks look like nerds.
JOHN
Its a show about geeks not a show
for geeks.
CURT
There’s no female geeks in it.

16. 15.
LINDY
There was no female geeks in your
group before me.
JOHN
Yes, but not because we don’t
believe girls can be geeks, just
because we’re bums. Also who said
you were officially in the group?
LINDY
Fine, whatever. Its still funnier
than you guys are, except for Curt
maybe.
Lindy smiles at Curt. Curt smiles back awkwardly.
LINDY (CONT.)
And I’ll win a geek-off any day of
the week.
TODD
Hey don’t say things you can’t take
back.
CURT
Anyway. Back to the matter at hand.
Lets get packed and get this stuff
done. Todd find that old man, John
call your cousin. Ill make us an
itinerary.
LINDY
What should I do?
John looks at her.
JOHN
Uh, Hands together. Friendship on
three.
Lindy looks annoyed.
Curt, John, and Todd put there hands together, count to
three and yell friendship. Lindy watches in shock.
LINDY
Nerds.
JOHN, CURT, TODD
Geeks.

17. 16.
EXT. OLD MANS HOUSE - DAY
Todd walks up to an old looking house. He has a piece of
paper with an address written on it. Todd goes to the door
and knocks on it. He waits a few moments and then an OLD
MAN,(67) answers the door with a shotgun and a joint in his
mouth.
OLD MAN
What do you want?
TODD
Wow, sweet gun.
OLD MAN
Sweet gun?
TODD
It looks real, that’s a good
replica.
The old man shoots a squirrel that is running across the
yard.
TODD
Fuck, old man.
OLD MAN
Who are you?
TODD
I’m Todd, I talked to you on the
bus one day about a Van. I found
your ad but there was only an
address and no phone number.
OLD MAN
Yes right. Sorry about that. I
don’t have a phone, never know when
big brother might be listening.
Your the geek.
TODD
I would prefer Pop Culture
Enthusiast, but better than nerd.
OLD MAN
Are you interested in the Van?
TODD
I think so.

18. 17.
OLD MAN
They took away my license.
TODD
Too old?
OLD MAN
Too many parking tickets. I don’t
believe in parking meters, that
their life not mine.
Todd nods.
TODD
I can get behind that, I don’t even
have a license.
OLD MAN
Good for you. Me and my wife Shelly
don’t get out much anymore. Come on
I’ll show you the Van.
Old man leads Todd away from the door. He pulls the joint
out of his mouth and offers it to Todd.
OLD MAN
Hit?
TODD
Word Up old man. This could be the
start of a beautiful friendship.
Todd takes the joint and takes a puff.
TODD
Yep, friends forever.
Todd and the Old Man walk around the house.
OLD MAN
I haven’t gotten too many
interested people. The whole
non-licensed, failing inspection,
hazard to yourself and others
comments from my mechanic seem too
have scared people off.
TODD
Not me. I’ve developed a system.
Its the "just not worry about it
approach". If you just don’t care
long enough, eventually someone
else will take care of it.

19. 18.
The old man stops and looks at Todd.
OLD MAN
Yep, friends forever.
The old man puts his arm around Todd and they walk to the
garage.
INT. JOHN’S PARENTS HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY
John walks into the living room that is finely decorated
with nice couches, coffee table,and TV. JOHN"S MOM,(53), a
woman in a blouse and khaki pants sits on the couch.
JOHN
Mom, do we have any pizza rolls?
JOHNS MOM
There’s some in the freezer.
JOHN
Awesome.
John starts to walk to the freezer but stop and stares off
into the distance for a moment.
JOHNS MOM
What is it, Honey?
JOHN
There was something I was gonna ask
you about. Something important.
JOHNS MOM
I got new dipping sauce, it’s in
the fridge.
JOHN
That’s it.
John walks over to the freezer and talks out a box of Pizza
rolls.
JOHN
Yeah, that was it.

20. 19.
INT. CURT’S HOUSE - DAY
Curt is sitting at a table with his laptop out. Lindy sits
next to him playing a game on her laptop.
CURT
Yes, done with the itinerary. Just
got to show it to the guys.
Curt looks at Lindy.
CURT
Just so you know, I’m really
excited you are coming with. I know
John can be a real A-Hole
sometimes, but I swear he will win
you over.
LINDY
Well you’ve won me over.
CURT
Is that line from a TV show?
LINDY
I don’t think so.
CURT
It sounds like it is, its kind of
cheesy.
LINDY
Hey, I like you still, don’t make
me change my mind.
CURT
Ok.
Curt clicks his computer and closes it.
LINDY
I just feel like he holds you back.
CURT
We have the same job.
LINDY
But you got that promotion.
CURT
I haven’t accepted it yet. I don’t
know how to tell John that I might
be his manager. He really wanted

21. 20.
CURT
it. Also please do not tell him
that our boss gave the tickets to
me as a celebration.
LINDY
I’m just saying there is a reason
they gave it to you, not John.
CURT
He’s my best friend.
LINDY
And there is nothing wrong with
that, I just don’t want him keeping
you down.
CURT
I assure you, it will be ok.
LINDY
Ok. I have your word you’ll talk to
him if he gives me problems?
CURT
Yes, you have my word.
LINDY
Ok, cool, because I’m just as
excited for this trip, if not more.
Curt and Lindy high five and then smile at each other.
CURT
Now, lets go pack. I’m having
troubles fitting my Kingdom Hearts
keyblade in my duffel bag.
INT. GEEK BAR - NIGHT
Curt, John, Todd, and Lindy sit at a table drinking beers.
CURT
Ok guys. Do we all like the
itinerary?
JOHN
Show floor, panels, food, and
bathroom break times. Very
thorough.

22. 21.
TODD
Not a ton of sleep it looks like.
CURT
Sleep is for the weak Todd. You can
sleep when your dead--Or whenever
you want I guess, I have no control
over you.
LINDY
How did the car thing go, Todd?
TODD
Oh you’ll just have to wait and
see. It’s gonna rock your world.
Curt squints and stares at Todd suspiciously.
TODD
What?
CURT
I don’t know, last time you said
something was going to rock my
world was at my birthday party
where you gave me a rock, and it
only partially rocked my world.
TODD
I promise, your world will be
rocked to a satisfying capacity.
CURT
Ok. John, how is our lodging?
John finishes taking a drink and burps.
JOHN
Oh, uh, its good, all figured out.
Perfect. Were good to go. All set.
Perfect.
CURT
Hmm, that’s a lot of goods and
perfects, but sounds legit.
Curt lifts up his beer and proposes a cheer.
CURT
You should all pat yourselves on
the back for putting this together.
We have called in a lot of favors.
This might be our only chance to go

23. 22.
CURT
to Comic Con. If we fail we miss
the event of a lifetime and will
live a life of shame until we all
resent each other, ourselves, and
geekdom so much that we all get
jobs in cubicals.
TODD
That’s cheery.
JOHN
Our health, safety, and most
importantly our reputations as
geeks are at stake. But, this will
also be the story of a lifetime.
Lets do this.
John raises his glass up also.
LINDY
To your confusingly nice dickhole
angel of a boss.
Todd raised his glass.
TODD
To the old man.
Lindy raises her glass.
JOHN
To a road trip of adventure, crazy
spending, and geek themed
debauchery.
CURT
Or you know, to responsible
choices.
They all clink glasses together.
INT. GEEK BAR - NIGHT MONTAGE
Curt, John, Todd, and Lindy drink multiple beers. They play
arcade games intensely. John gets in an argument with
ANOTHER GEEK at the bar. John and Lindy both try to pull
Curt in opposite directions. They party into the night.

24. 23.
EXT. TODDS HOUSE - NEXT DAY
Curt, John, Todd, and Lindy stand outside in Todd’s drive
way. They all appear hung over. They look at an old falling
apart minivan that is painted like a psychedelic rip-off of
The Mystery Machine. All of their bags sit in a pile.
JOHN
So he just let you buy this awesome
vehicle?
TODD
I know, right? Its perfect, and It
only cost me 500 bucks.
CURT
You had 500 dollars sitting around?
TODD
Credit cards, bitches.
Todd Smiles and nods and then turns serious.
TODD (CONT.)
But really I have crippling debt.
CURT
Is it safe?
TODD
Safe? Is fort knox safe? Is a safe
safe? Is anyone really ever safe?
Todd puts finger quotes up when he says safe. Everyone
stares at Todd for a moment.
LINDY
It’s kinda dirty.
TODD
Hey don’t talk about my new baby
like that.
Curt opens up the back doors of the van.
CURT
Is this blood in here?
John also walks to the back and looks into the van with
curt.

25. 24.
TODD
Yeah. The guy who sold it to me
said he used to haul dead animals
in it after he would go hunting.
JOHN
Cool, adds character.
Todd jumps in the van and looks around. Todd points at a cup
holder.
CURT
Cool. Cup holder.
TODD
Exactly Curt, and You know what,
because we are friends I will let
you put a cup in there while we
make our way to Comic Con!
Todd does a little dance.
JOHN
Alright!
CURT
Yes.
Curt, John, and Todd all high five.
JOHN
Ok, let’s load her up.
The group starts loading bags into the car.
LINDY
I call shotgun.
JOHN
Wow wow wow. Hold on. You don’t get
shotgun. My main man Curt gets
shotgun. You can sit in the back
with Todd.
Todd waves awkwardly at Lindy.
LINDY
I’m not sitting back there. Todd
smells like cheese.
TODD
Only because I eat a lot of cheese,
specially of the dairy variety.

26. 25.
LINDY
Also I get carsick. If you want me
to yak all over the place then fine
I’ll sit in the back.
Curt walks over to John and puts his hand on johns shoulder.
CURT
John can she sit in the front?
JOHN
This is our trip man, this has been
our dream.
CURT
John.
JOHN
Fine. Get in the front.
LINDY
Thank you, also if you wouldn’t let
me have the front I wouldn’t let
you in on this.
Lindy opens a backpack filled with candy, soda, and snacks.
LINDY
Nobody gave me anything to take
care of, but I figured nobody would
be unhappy with some snacks.
TODD
Forget Wheaties, this is the
breakfast of champions.
They all grab a snack and climb into the van.
INT. VAN - DAY
John sits behind the steering wheel, Lindy sits in the
passenger seat and Curt and Todd sit in the back.
JOHN
Ok, before we go does anyone need
to use the bathroom? Because once
we leave we are not stopping.
TODD
Nope.

27. 26.
CURT
I’m good.
John looks at Lindy.
JOHN
Lindy?
LINDY
Gosh, no, can we go?
JOHN
Ok, fine, lets "hit it" like a
cheap knock off of the popular
childrens toy Bop It.
John backs the van out of the drive way as the motor
sputters and the van squeaks very loud. John hits a trash
can as he turns.
JOHN
Still better then Todd.
CURT
Lets just pray this van makes it
there.
TODD
Hey, in this Van, nothing could
possibly go wrong.
INT. VAN - LATER THAT DAY
John drives the car, Lindy has her feet up on the dash
board, and Curt and Todd read comics in the back. John turns
the radio dials but nothing is happening.
JOHN
The radio doesn’t work.
Todd pulls out a box of Cassette tapes and pulls out a tape.
Todd hands John a tape.
TODD
Here, try this.
JOHN
Sweet, you have cassette tapes?
LINDY
What year is this?

28. 27.
TODD
The guy I bought the van from also
had a ton of cassette tapes.
Lindy grabs the box.
LINDY
Let me look through it.
Lindy pulls out a tape.
LINDY
This one.
CURT
What is that one?
TODD
I don’t know. It’s a mix tape
labeled Shelly and I. I’m assuming
some 80s love songs.
LINDY
The best driving music.
JOHN
No way, the best driving music is
the soundtrack to the arcade game
Crusin’ USA.
CURT
John please.
JOHN
Oh fine.
Todd pops the tape into the tape deck. It begins to play
sounds of two people having sex. There is grunting, moaning,
and a man saying the name Shelly.
CURT
What the hell?
LINDY
Oh god, turn it off.
TODD
No, keep it on. Its steamy. Another
point to old man.
LINDY
No thank you.

29. 28.
JOHN
No, it stays on. This is what you
wanted to listen to.
LINDY
Turn it off.
JOHN
No.
LINDY
Fine. I have to use the bathroom.
JOHN
I told you we are not stopping.
LINDY
Do you want me to pee in the car?
JOHN
Do it.
LINDY
Fine.
John looks over at Lindy who stares back at him intensely.
John tries to stare back but gives up.
JOHN
Oh okay. Well stop.
John pulls the car onto an exit ramp and we see a sign with
a listing of gas stations.
EXT. GAS STATION - DAY
The van pulls up to the gas station.
INT. VAN - DAY
John sits in the driver seat, Lindy prepares to get out.
JOHN
Well I guess I might as well get
some gas while we’re here anyway.
LINDY
I’m going inside.
Lindy gets out.

30. 29.
EXT. GAS STATION - DAY
Lindy walks across the parking lot and into the gas station.
John gets out and starts pumping gas. Todd and Curt get out
and stretch.
JOHN
Whats with Lindy, man?
CURT
What?
JOHN
She’s already being a major buzz
kill.
CURT
You could be nicer.
JOHN
Nicer? I’ve been nice as hell, I’m
a regular Mister Fucking Rogers.
Aren’t I Todd?
John turns around to look at Todd.
JOHN
Todd, tell Curt how nice I am.
Todd is across the parking lot and is petting a dog and
talking to a cow girl looking woman named SARAH,(26).
JOHN
You suck Todd.
John turns back to pumping gas.
CURT
I don’t see why you have problems
with her. You both have a lot more
in common than you think.
JOHN
We have been wanting to go to Comic
Con forever and now we get to go
and then she also gets to come. I
once asked her if she liked Doctor
Who and she responded with "Doctor
Who?". She was literally asking
Doctor who? and then we proceeded
to have a Doctor Who themed rip off
of an Abbot and Costello Routine.

31. 30.
CURT
I’m pretty sure she was screwing
with you. Or sonic screwdrivering
with you.
Curt laughs to himself. John stares at Curt very seriously.
JOHN
You have to stop that Curt.
CURT
Dude, I tell you what. Once we get
to the con, there is bound to be
some events that she wont want to
go to and then just you and me can
kick it kids in a candy shop on
cocaine style around the venue.
JOHN
Ok, do I have your word on that?
CURT
Yes. You have my word.
JOHN
Ok.
John opens the car and digs through a duffel bag and pulls
out a piece of paper.
JOHN
Hey, Check this out. Do you
remember this?
Curt looks at the paper. It is a beat up old handwritten
note that reads "Curt and John Pledge that they will go to
San Diego Comic Con. They will also fly their in their own
private jets." It has both of their signatures on it.
CURT
Oh wow, we wrote that a long time
ago. At least we are doing one of
those things.
JOHN
We are so close. Also I figure if
we sell Todd then we might be able
to afford those Jets.
CURT
Only if the jets also look like a
Hanna Barbera fever dream.
Curt looks at the note again.

32. 31.
CURT (CONT.)
This is great. We should show
Lindy.
John looks at Curt and then takes the note back.
JOHN
Yeah -- sure. Maybe once we get
there.
CURT
Okay cool, now, I’m going to go
void my bladder.
Curt walks past Todd and Sarah and into the Gas Station.
Todd and Sarah Converse.
TODD
Where are you headed?
SARAH
Nowhere really, you?
TODD
San Diego Comic Con.
SARAH
I love San Diego.
INT. GAS STATION - DAY
John walks into the gas station and walks up to a register
and ROGER, (24), the gas station attendant. Curt and Lindy
walk around the gas station looking at snacks.
JOHN
20 bucks on pump 3.
ROGER
That van out there?
JOHN
The wannabe Mystery Machine, yep.
John pays the man and walks over to Curt and Lindy who are
looking at Gas Station Porn Films.
LINDY
These are the worst.

33. 32.
JOHN
What are you talking about, the
adult parody of Kangaroo Jack looks
awesome. How did they not get in
trouble for copyright infringement.
John looks at a DVD case entitled "Kangaroo Jackin-it".
LINDY
They have the worst titles.
JOHN
I think Timmy Thunder in Ass
plunger Land 7 sounds intriguing.
The cover shows men and women posing in construction safety
gear and covering themselves with traffic cones.
LINDY
You would.
JOHN
You know what? I’m gonna buy it.
I’m sure its a quality piece of
cinema that many people worked very
hard on.
John flips it over and looks at the cover.
JOHN
Especially this guy. He has a hard
hat on.
EXT. GAS STATION - DAY
Curt, John, and Lindy walk out of the gas station. John is
carrying a brown paper bag with the porn films in it. They
walk by a group of nerds like them. KIRK,(25), looks very
similar to Curt, JIM, (25), looks very similar to John, TOM,
(25), looks very similar to Todd, Mindy, (26), looks very
similar to Lindy. The rival nerds are admiring the van.
KIRK
Nice Van.
CURT
Thanks.
JIM
Kind of like a less cool version of
the Mystery Machine.

34. 33.
JOHN
What? This is the V8 Interceptor of
Vans.
John stares at Rival Nerd that seems just like him.
JOHN
Who are you?
JIM
Jim. This is Kirk, Tom, and Mindy.
Jim points at Kirk, Tom, and Mindy as he introduces them
all.
John, Curt, and Lindy look at each other in confusion.
JOHN
Where you going?
JIM
San Diego Comic Con.
LINDY
Oh wow, so are we.
Jim, Kirk, Tom, and Mindy stare at Curt, John, and Lindy
suspiciously.
MINDY
Of course you are.
LINDY
What do you mean?
MINDY
You guys look like typical
bandwagon fans.
JOHN
What? Have you seen our ride?
JIM
Have you seen ours?
Jim points at another car in the gas Station that is painted
like the Ecto-1 car from Ghostbusters and has a ghost
antenna ball.
CURT
Damn, how did we not see that when
we pulled in.

35. 34.
JIM
Painted it ourselves.
JOHN
A crazy old guy painted ours.
KIRK
We bought our tickets 8 months ago.
CURT
We got ours for free.
TOM
I haven’t showered in three days.
CURT
Our version of you never showers.
TOM
That’s disgusting.
JOHN
You bet your ass it is.
Both groups stare down their doppelgangers.
CURT
Why are you guys such assholes?
We’re all geeks here.
KIRK
We have been going to Comic Con for
years now, we are the superior
brand of nerds. Homosupieor as you
might say.
CURT
Did you just quote Magneto? You
know he is a villian.
KIRK
And he is badass as balls. See you
around Nerds.
JOHN
Geeks.
Curt, John, and Lindy walk away as the rival nerds enter the
gas station.
JOHN
Man, those less attractive versions
of us suck.

36. 35.
LINDY
What kind of name is Mindy?
CURT
Kirk? Who does he think he is.
JOHN
Bandwagon fans? We own the
bandwagon.
CURT
Yeah-- Wait would that be good or
bad?
JOHN
Who cares as long as we can throw
those guys off.
Curt and Lindy walk towards the van. John quickly turns his
head and then runs over to the Ecto-1 and steals the Antenna
ball.
INT. VAN - DAY
Curt, John and Lindy get into the van. Todd and Sarah and
the dog sit in the car.
TODD
Whats in the bag?
JOHN
Porn. Whats with the girl?
TODD
She’s Sarah.
Sarah sticks her hand out to shake Curt’s hand.
SARAH
I’m Sarah.
Curt awkwardly shakes her hand.
CURT
Hello. Um, if you don’t mind me
asking, who are you Sarah?
SARAH
I’m Sarah.

37. 36.
LINDY
Yes, we got that. Why are you
in our Van?
TODD
She wants to go to San Diego. She
cool. She also has a really cool
dog.
JOHN
Where did you come from?
SARAH
I just met Todd.
TODD
She just met me. Shes coming with
us.
CURT
You weren’t going to discuss this
with us? Shes a random stranger. No
offense.
LINDY
Yeah, we don’t know if we can trust
her. She might be the murdering
kind of stranger. No offense.
TODD
Well, its my car.
Curt, John, and Lindy look at each other.
JOHN
Don’t you have your own vehicle?
SARAH
I have a bike.
TODD
A bike.
SARAH
It has a basket.
JOHN
Do we even really have a say in
this Todd?
TODD
Nope.
Todd smiles a big grin.

38. 37.
JOHN
Ok then. Welcome aboard hopefully
non-murdering Sarah. Keep you hands
and feet inside this ridiculous
vehicle of fun at all times as we
will approach warp speeds.
John looks at Sarah.
JOHN (CONT.)
Also fair warning, if you dog
pisses on my Daredevil Costume I’m
kicking you out of the car, and I’m
not even stopping.
John begins to back the car up.
INT. VAN - DAY
The group drives down the road. Lindy looks at a map as they
go.
LINDY
Should we stop somewhere cool along
the way?
JOHN
Like a comic shop?
TODD
Or a record shop?
CURT
Or an Arcade?
LINDY
I was thinking more like an Ikea,
or a giant ball of yarn. That’s a
real thing right?
JOHN
Why would we stop at something like
that?
LINDY
Because if a regular ball of yarn
is fun then a giant ball of yarn
would be at least twice the fun.
JOHN
No it’s not. Comics are fun, the
BBC is fun. A new model with a

39. 38.
JOHN
fresh exact o knife and bottle of
glue is fun.
LINDY
It will broaden your horizons.
JOHN
That sounds dirty.
LINDY
I assure you, it is not.
JOHN
Fine than I for sure don’t want to
do it.
LINDY
Fine. How about we do something I
want to do, and then we do
something that you guys want to do.
CURT
That sounds fair.
JOHN
Fine. Where first?
LINDY
Let’s stop at a national park.
CURT
Ok, but to get there on time we
need to make sure we don’t slow
down too much.
JOHN
No worries, for now, sit back,
relax, and enjoy the ride. Nothing
but Blue Skies ahead.
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
It is storming very hard as the van makes its way down the
highway. The windshield wipers on the van are not working.
LINDY
Slow down.
JOHN
Why? These windshield wipers are
obliviously doing what they are
supposed to.

40. 39.
LINDY
It’s not safe to drive so fast when
it’s raining.
JOHN
Really? I heard it was better to
drive as fast as humanly possible.
TODD
Yeah, do you think speed racer
slowed down when it rained.
Curt looks at John very seriously.
CURT
John.
JOHN
Curt.
CURT
John.
JOHN
Curt.
CURT
Slow down.
JOHN
Ok, fine.
CURT
I can hardly even see. Hey pull off
at this exit, lets park and see if
it slows up at all.
John slows the car down and pulls off the highway and onto a
side road where they park.
The group sits quietly in the car.
TODD
Should we play a game to pass the
time?
CURT
My 3DS is dead.
SARAH
Let’s play truth or dare.

41. 40.
LINDY
Oh, I love that game.
JOHN
Mhh.
LINDY
Mhh?
JOHN
Mhh.
TODD
I want to play.
SARAH
You start.
TODD
Ok, someone ask me.
SARAH
Ok, Todd, truth or dare?
TODD
Truth. No wait, dare, no truth.
Todd nods.
TODD
Truth.
SARAH
Have you ever been on a road trip
before?
TODD
No, but I’ve read on the Road, and
seen Kristen Stewart’s phoned in
performance in the bastardized
movie version. Have you?
SARAH
I remember once after I got my
first Phd, to celebrate I hitch
hiked to a Phish Concert. I took
this little blue thing going around
at the show and I don’t remember
how I got home though. That was a
great weekend.
The group all listens and laughs awkwardly.

42. 41.
CURT
You have a Phd?
SARAH
Two. Engineering and Physics.
JOHN
Wow, You’re definitely the smartest
person in this car.
SARAH
Smarts are subjective. But I bet
you didn’t think you would pick up
a recipient of the Noble Peace
Prize.
TODD
You have a Noble Peace Prize?
SARAH
No, that shit is really hard to
get, but I was nominated once.
CURT
Wow, Im sorry I said you might be a
murderer.
JOHN
Im sorry I made fun of your bike.
SARAH
You didn’t.
JOHN
Oh, I must have just thought that.
TODD
Ok. Who should I pick?
Todd looks around the car.
TODD
John.
JOHN
Oh man. Ok.
TODD
Truth or dare?
JOHN
Dare, obviously. Why would I do
truth, why would anyone pick truth

43. 42.
JOHN
when they could do dare. (In a
Eddie Murphy voice as Donkey from
Shrek) I’m the dare master, I’ve
mastered the dare.
TODD
Ok, I dare you to run outside in
the rain.
JOHN
Piece of cake.
TODD
I’m not done. In your underwear.
JOHN
Are you serious?
LINDY
Ewe, I don’t want to see that.
CURT
Didn’t you just say that you are
the dare master?
JOHN
I did indeed, and I intend to
execute the dare to it’s full
extend.
LINDY
Oh man, gross.
JOHN
Sorry ladies, a dare is a dare,
prepare yourselves mentally.
John stripes down to reveal that he is wearing superman
underwear. The group laughs.
SARAH
Nice underwear.
TODD
Really dude, those are sweet. Where
did you get those?
JOHN
Target, they were on sale.

44. 43.
TODD
Awesome, I need to get me some of
those. Are they comfortable?
JOHN
Yeah.
TODD
Cool, maybe sometime you could let
me borrow them and take them for a
spin?
JOHN
That’s probably not gonna happen.
TODD
I suppose your right, life is too
short for quality testing,
sometimes you have to live on the
edge.
CURT
Truer words have never been spoken
about buying underwear.
LINDY
Hey, are you gonna do this or what?
JOHN
I’m going.
John climbs out of the car and runs around outside of the
car in the rain and then climbs back into the car.
JOHN
Ok, now my turn. I pick Lindy.
LINDY
Truth.
JOHN
Ok, have you always been a tight
wad?
LINDY
Yes, have you always been an ass?
JOHN
Yes.
LINDY
Now that that’s settled. I pick
Curt.

45. 44.
CURT
Uh, truth.
JOHN
Wuss.
LINDY
Ok, who are you more excited to
have along on the trip, me or John?
CURT
I love you both equally.
LINDY
That’s a cop out of an answer.
CURT
Hey, Cop out is an underrated
movie.
JOHN
No its not.
The rain lets up.
CURT
Hey the rain has let up. Lets get
moving again. We don’t want the gas
to sit to long, it might evaporate
or some other more
believable reason why we should
go, now.
JOHN
No, lets hear a real answer. Don’t
pull a Bill Clinton on us.
LINDY
Yeah. Hilary Clinton deserves
better, she is a powerhouse, not
like Beyonce, but you get my point.
CURT
Fine, I’m most exited to have Sarah
along, its nice to meet new people,
even If I really don’t know
anything about her and shes now
traveling with us on one of the
biggest events of my life. Lets get
rolling.
John puts his clothes back on.

46. 45.
JOHN
Fine. I know its--
Lindy cuts of John.
LINDY
Me.
Lindy smiles at John. Water drips from the ceiling onto
Johns face.
EXT. FOREST - DAY
The groups van drives past a sign that read "Oaks National
Park" and along a dirt road. They van is riding very rough
and bumpy.
INT. VAN - DAY
They all look very uncomfortable with the bumpiness of the
ride.
CURT
This vans shocks might be a little
worn.
TODD
I like it. Its like a free massage.
CURT
Tell me that again when you are
offically a bobblehead.
EXT. FOREST - DAY
The van parks on the side in the middle of a large
forest. Curt, John, Todd, and Sarah climb out of the car.
JOHN
Wow, I have never seen trees like
this.
TODD
I know right? But granted I’m also
barely ever outside.
SARAH
You’ve never been out to a forest?

47. 46.
JOHN
virtual forests. I will say the
resolution out here is impressive.
CURT
Definitely a good stop.
TODD
Your right, and to celebrate
getting this far I think its time
for some -- illegal fireworks.
CURT
What?
Todd does a little interpretive dance.
TODD
Boom, flash, bang.
LINDY
I don’t know. Those onomatopoeia’s
are a little disconcerting. I vote
more silent observation followed up
by a discussion of the lack of
environmental protection laws.
CURT
I agree, we’re in a forest.
TODD
What better place?
Todd pulls fireworks out from behind his back.
CURT
Where did you get those?
TODD
I picked them up back at the truck
stop, some punk kids sold them to
me.
JOHN
What made them punks?
TODD
I don’t know, any kids under the
age of 20 are just punks to me.
JOHN
Is that fair?

48. 47.
TODD
I don’t know. Anyone under 20 is a
punk, Anyone over 40 is old, anyone
older than me but not old is just
kind of there, and I’m a timeless
instant classic. Like the movie
Independence Day.
Todd, John, and Sarah begin to set up a large bottle rocket
to launch from the ground. Lindy explores the trees around
the park.
JOHN
Curt are you going to help us with
these bottle rockets or not?
Curt looks over at Lindy.
CURT
Uh, probably not.
Curt walks over to Lindy leaving John and Todd.
JOHN
Fine more for us.
Curt taps Lindy on her left shoulder and tricks her by
standing on her right side. She turns.
CURT
It’s really beautiful out here
isn’t it?
LINDY
Yeah, It reminds me of Tarzan.
Curt pounds his chest like a gorilla.
LINDY
Tarzan the Monkey Man swinging from
a rubber band.
CURT
I have never heard that before.
LINDY
What?
CURT
I’ve never heard that before.

49. 48.
LINDY
Where you ever a child?
CURT
Of course.
LINDY
That’s not possible. If you were
you would have heard that. you must
be a robot sent from the future to
destroy us all.
CURT
You’re right, a robot that goes on
a road trip with a bunch of geeks
to comic con.
LINDY
Hey, that sounds like a good idea
for a movie.
CURT
Who would watch a movie about geeks
going to comic con?
LINDY
Lots of people, if there is a robot
involved. Without a robot not so
much but--
A green Jeep with a "Parks Ranger" logo pulls up next to
their car. Everyone looks at the Jeep. PARK RANGER NED,(34),
a skinny man in a green suit gets out of the vehicle. Park
Ranger Ned walks over to Todd.
PARK RANGER NED
What’s going on here? Looks like
more illegal fireworks than a
Tijuana baby shower.
TODD
What?
PARK RANGER NED
You have a large amount of illegal
fireworks.
TODD
Oh yeah, true.
PARK RANGER NED
I’m going to have to confiscate
those.

50. 49.
TODD
Oh, man, really?
PARK RANGER NED
Yes, I’m afraid those are fire
hazards.
TODD
Man, why you got to be such a buzz
kill.
PARK RANGER NED
Your lucky my partner Smokey the
Bear isn’t here.
TODD
Oh what, would he have given me a
stern talking to?
PARK RANGER NED
No, he would have mauled your face
off. He’s a real bear. It happened
last week. Really sad.
Todd and John have looks of horror.
JOHN
Fuck man.
PARK RANGER NED
I’m just kidding with you.
Todd and John relax a bit.
PARK RANGER NED
I’m not kidding with you. It was
horrific. They couldn’t even
identify the body.
Todd and John stand still with fear.
PARK RANGER NED
Heck, that was a joke guys, lighten
up. He just had to get 30 stitches.
TODD
Cool.
PARK RANGER NED
And I will need to take those
fireworks.

51. 50.
TODD
Man, this is so like the man, just
like the Old man said.
PARK RANGER NED
Whose old man?
TODD
You wouldn’t understand.
PARK RANGER NED
Now hand over the fireworks.
TODD
That’s one option. Or I could light
them instead.
PARK RANGER NED
Or not.
TODD
Or.
Todd begins to light the Bottle rocket.
PARK RANGER NED
Don’t do it.
TODD
Ehhh.
Todd acts like he is going to light it again and leans in
towards the bottle rocket.
PARK RANGER NED
Don’t.
TODD
Eh.
Todd acts like he is going to light it again.
PARK RANGER NED
Don’t.
TODD
Eh.
Todd acts like he is going to light it again.
PARK RANGER NED
Ok, thats enough of this, I’m
taking them.

52. 51.
Park Ranger Ned takes the fireworks. Sarah lights them while
the Ranger is holding them. Park Ranger Ned throws them in
the air and they launch in all directions. Everyone ducks
and yells.
PARK RANGER NED
Damn it, why would you do that?
SARAH
I’m an engineer, I wanted to see
what would happen.
Sarah grins widely.
JOHN
Just relax man, you’re just a Park
Ranger.
PARK RANGER NED
That’s it. I’m getting tired of
your shenanigans. I’m a Park Ranger
not a pansy boy scout master, I
don’t have to take this.
Park Ranger Ned is quite frustrated. He takes a step back
and valiantly starts a speech.
PARK RANGER NED
My friends ask me why I wanted to
be a Park Ranger. It not the glitz,
glamor, or wild sex parties, no,
its for the plants, the trees, the
defenseless shrubbery.
Park Ranger Ned takes off his hat and holds it on his chest
and looks off into the distance bravely.
PARK RANGER NED
My father always wanted me to be a
gynecologist but I said no, staring
at vaginas all day isn’t the life
for me. Now I’m surrounded
by massive wood and its
glorious. A young man out to save
the world one prevented forest fire
and informed upper middle class
white vacationing family at a time.
Park Ranger squints his eyes and talks in a very soft and
scary sounding voice.

53. 52.
PARK RANGER NED
Sure, I’ve had to do some bad
things to protect the forest,
terrible things, things only my
therapist knows, but I would do it
again. I’d do it all again.
Park Ranger Ned, walks over to a tree and leans on it
seductively.
PARK RANGER NED
Some people have called me crazy.
Is it crazy to name the trees and
act out peoples court with them? I
don’t thinks so. Ive been called
tree huger, even tree lover, but I
swear Ive only made love to a tree
once and it was consensual.
Park Ranger Ned walks back over to the group.
PARK RANGER NED
I vowed I would be the best Park
Ranger that anyone had ever
seen. So you make fun of me but
you don’t make fun of the Park
Ranger Badge. This is my Forest.
CURT
Wow, I did not expect that.
TODD
Good job. That was almost better
than the Samuel L Jackson Monologue
from Pulp Fiction.
JOHN
Are you high Todd? That monologue
is untouchable.
CURT
It’s a little overdone.
JOHN
What?
CURT
It’s over quoted.
JOHN
Thats not even possible.

54. 53.
PARK RANGER NED
Are you really debating this right
now?
They begin to argue but are stopped by a loud growling from
the woods. They all turn to look as a Black Bear comes out
of the woods at them.
PARK RANGER NED
Cheese it, its Smokey.
CURT
Oh shit.
TODD
Wow.
Todd starts to walk towards it.
JOHN
Todd, back up man.
TODD
He looks hungry.
Todd pulls a Slim Jim out of his pocket and walks toward the
bear and offers it too him.
TODD
Would you like a Slim Jim Mr.Bear?
The bear swings a paw at Todd. They all yell and run towards
the van and hop in.
INT. VAN - DAY
The gang jumps into the van as Park Ranger Ned is being
chased by a bear. John attempts to start the van and it
begins to smoke and not start. After many attempts it
starts. The tires start to spin in the mud from the rain but
finally gain traction and they drive away.
TODD
Fuck, should we go back?
The gang looks out the back window of the van and see Park
Ranger Ned squaring off and beginning a fist fight with the
bear.
PARK RANGER NED
Clever Boy.

55. 54.
CURT
Probably.
Park Ranger Ned turns to look at them.
PARK RANGER NED
No, go.
JOHN
Ok, don’t have to tell me twice.
They drive away as Park Ranger Ned pulls out nun chucks and
begins to fight the bear.
TODD
Shit, that did look a lot like
Smokey the Bear, and he was pissed.
LINDY
Why did you have to do that Todd?
TODD
It seemed like a good idea at the
time.
CURT
Well we’re alive, that’s all that
matters.
JOHN
Plus, Smokey the bear, that was our
first celebrity siting of the trip.
The van pulls onto the main road again.
EXT. CAMPSITE - DAY
The gang drives up to a campsite in the the van. The gang
gets out of the van.
JOHN
Oh, it’s good to get out of the
van.
TODD
I thought that was a perfectly
pleasant ride.
CURT
You slept most of the way here.

56. 55.
JOHN
Which was a dumb move, its already
late, you’re never going to fall
asleep now. You’re like a baby. A
adult, early balding, pot smoking
baby-- God, you’re a terrifying
baby.
TODD
That’s fine. We are out here under
the stars.
LINDY
Unfortunately.
CURT
Hey, we all agreed that staying one
night at a camp ground along the
way would save us some money for
the con.
LINDY
Yeah, I just don’t like sleeping in
the same place as Todd.
TODD
Hey, I only sometimes sleepwalk,
and one sleepy run in with an
electric can opener isn’t going to
change the fact that I sleep in the
nude.
JOHN
Lord that is a disturbing image.
TODD
Whatever. Just zip your tents
closed.
LINDY
You’re right. Just you and me Curt.
Lindy pokes Curt in the shoulder. John is digging through
the van.
JOHN
Curt, did we get both of the tents?
CURT
Yeah, one for you and Todd and one
for me and Lindy.

57. 56.
JOHN
I’m only seeing one.
CURT
What? No?
JOHN
There is only one here. Mine and
Todd’s.
Curt walks over to the van and also looks through it.
CURT
Shit, did I not pack it?
Lindy walks over to the van and also begins to look through
it.
LINDY
What?
CURT
I must have forgotten our tent.
LINDY
Oh No. What are we gonna do?
Curt turns to look at John. Curt smiles at John.
JOHN
No, that’s not happening. You are
not taking my tent.
Curt smiles at John.
JOHN
Nope.
CURT
Fine, How about--
CUT TO:
INT. TENT - LATER THAT NIGHT
Curt, Lindy, and John all lie inside of the same tent.
JOHN
I can’t believe this is happening
right now.

58. 57.
LINDY
I know.
JOHN
At least Todd and Sarah were fine
with staying outside and not jam
packing in here.
LINDY
Yeah.
CURT
I don’t know, I think this is kind
of nice.
LINDY
How so?
CURT
The three of us, together, camping
out under the stars.
JOHN
While Todd and Sarah make out or
talk about dogs or do whatever the
hell they are doing together
outside.
CURT
I might even say it is kind of
romantic.
JOHN
Curt that is my thigh you are
caressing right now.
CURT
Shit, don’t get used to it, John.
Curt moves his hand.
JOHN
I can tell you one thing, you are
not getting any tonight, no matter
how cute you look in the moonlight.
CURT
I do look cute.
John flips over in a sleeping bag.

59. 58.
LINDY
This is pretty great I guess. All
of us together.
JOHN
Hopefully it doesn’t rain anymore.
CURT
Don’t even say that.
It starts to rain.
CURT
You had to say it didn’t you.
Todd and Sarah run into the tent.
JOHN
Oh come on.
CURT
Hey.
Todd and Sarah lay down next to Curt, Lindy, and John.
TODD
Hey.
SARAH
Hello.
LINDY
What are you guys doing in here?
TODD
Its raining out there, were not
going to stay out in the rain. I’m
not a stray dog.
JOHN
You look and smell like one.
TODD
That hurts John, it really does.
Todd looks at John very intensely.
TODD
On the inside.
CURT
Todd you are getting me all wet.

60. 59.
SARAH
Heyo.
CURT
That’s very mature Sarah. Good job
with that one.
SARAH
Thank you.
It rains harder outside.
LINDY
Did we make sure the van was closed
up good?
CURT
I think so.
JOHN
It doesn’t seem like its letting
up.
CURT
Well.
TODD
Well?
LINDY
Are we all going to stay in here?
TODD
I’m content.
CURT
You’re also naked.
TODD
True.
LINDY
Uhh.
CURT
Well, at least we will have a good
story-- that we never tell anyone.

61. 60.
EXT. CAMPSITE - NIGHT
The Van has a back window that is open and letting rain in.
A raccoon climbs in the window.
EXT. CAMPSITE - NEXT MORNING
The group looks at the vans open window and the wet seats
inside. The group loads up their van and packs up there
camping gear.
CURT
Ok, so tomorrow is Comic Con. We
should get to San Diego late
tonight. John is your cousin ready
for us to arrive?
John is using the bathroom on a tree nearby. He turns his
head to look at Curt.
JOHN
What?
CURT
Are we good to stay with your
cousin tonight?
JOHN
Oh yeah, about that, I need to make
a call.
CURT
What?
JOHN
Its in the process of being good to
go.
CURT
Are you serious?
JOHN
Possibly. Maybe, probably, yes.
CURT
I thought this was all worked out
already.
JOHN
In theory it is.

62. 61.
CURT
But reality?
JOHN
Less than 100%.
Curt frowns at John.
JOHN
But hey, Ill make a call, it should
all be fine.
LINDY
And if it’s not?
JOHN
We find another place to stay, we
can get a cheap motel.
TODD
Awesome, can we get one with a
pool?
JOHN
Sure.
CURT
No.
LINDY
We didn’t budget that.
CURT
We are not getting a motel with a
pool.
JOHN
Fine, a small Jacuzzi.
TODD
I want to go swimming.
CURT
No.
JOHN
Fine, Todd you can just swim in the
bath tub.
TODD
I can’t use my inflatable raft in
the bathtub.

63. 62.
LINDY
Todd is not swimming in our bath
tub.
JOHN
Sure he can.
CURT
No body is swimming in a bath tub.
There will be no bath tub. we
didn’t plan the money to stay in a
motel tonight. Also, Todd, how dare
you hold out on us about that
inflatable raft.
JOHN
Just let me go call my Mom.
CURT
Yes, please.
John walks away from the group and pulls out a cell phone
and types in a few numbers. The phone rings.
INT. JOHN’S PARENTS HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY
John’s Mom answers the phone while she sits a couch in the
living room.
JOHNS MOM
Hello.
INTERCUT --Phone Conversation
JOHN
Hey mom.
JOHNS MOM
John, whats wrong, aren’t you on
your trip?
JOHN
Yeah.
JOHNS MOM
Are you brushing your teeth?
JOHN
I just forgot something.

64. 63.
JOHNS MOM
Its not your toothbrush is it?
JOHN
No. So we have a cousin that lives
out in San Diego right?
JOHNS MOM
We did.
JOHN
Did?
JOHNS MOM
He died last month.
JOHN
What?
JOHNS MOM
Fell down the stairs.
JOHN
Fell down the stairs?
JOHNS MOM
Yeah, and then got up and choked on
a carrot at diner later that night.
Really Sad.
JOHN
How did I not know he died?
JOHNS MOM
You went to his funeral.
JOHN
Shit, that was that cousin?
JOHNS MOM
Are you ok?
JOHN
For now, but I might be beaten to
death by a bunch of comic geeks in
the near future.
JOHNS MOM
Tell them to play nice.
JOHN
Yeah, Mom. Ill talk to you later,
hopefully.

65. 64.
John hangs up the phone. John takes a few deep breaths and
tries to calm himself. He walks over to the group again.
JOHN
Hey guys.
CURT
Whats the news?
LINDY
Are we good to go?
JOHN
Not exactly.
LINDY
Whats wrong?
JOHN
My cousin is dead.
CURT
Dead as in tired? Dead as in on
tour with The Dead? Dead as in dead
serious about saving us money on
our trip?
JOHN
More the not living kind of dead.
TODD
Dang, I was hoping the second one.
JOHN
Indeed.
SARAH
I’m sorry.
CURT
Wait, so what does that mean for
us?
LINDY
Yeah?
JOHN
Uhh?
CURT
Do you have a plan?

66. 65.
JOHN
Besides staying in a motel?
TODD
I’m still okay with that plan.
CURT
Besides that.
John looks out into the distance and thinks for a moment.
CURT
John.
JOHN
Give me a second, I’m thinking.
CURT
Well think faster, we need to know
where we are driving today.
JOHN
I know, I’m working on it.
TODD
We could sleep in the car.
CURT
I’m not sleeping with you again
Todd, one naked night with you is
more than enough.
JOHN
I even agree with him on that one.
LINDY
Let just do something.
John thinks for a moment.
JOHN
Ok, Ill figure it out.
INT. VAN - LATER THAT DAY
The gang rides in the car. They all look very tired and worn
out.
TODD
How much farther?

67. 66.
CURT
To where?
TODD
To where we are going.
Curt looks at John.
CURT
Where are we going?
JOHN
To San Diego.
CURT
And what is our plan once we get
there?
JOHN
What do you mean?
CURT
What are we doing?
JOHN
We are going to Comic Con.
CURT
Well no shit, what are we doing
with our spare time, where are we
staying tonight.
JOHN
We will make it up as we go along.
CURT
No, I’m not okay with that.
JOHN
Well, I don’t care.
CURT
We need a plan.
TODD
I agree with John, I say lets wing
it.
CURT
We should make a plan.

68. 67.
JOHN
How about this, we get there and we
just have fun and live our lives.
Sarah is looking out the window at a dog in a car going down
the highway next to them. she smiles and waves at the dog.
CURT
We are constantly living our lives,
if we weren’t then we would be
dead.
TODD
That’s true.
SARAH
It is, I heard it in a documentary
once.
JOHN
Well either way, We have been
winging it so far to a degree and
it has turned out great.
CURT
I beg to differ.
JOHN
No one likes a beggar.
CURT
No one likes your attitude.
JOHN
Oh really, that’s what people
think? Lindy, Todd?
John turns his head to look at everyone.
JOHN
What about you, Sarah?
SARAH
What?
JOHN
Do you like me?
SARAH
I like everyone.

69. 68.
JOHN
Of course you do. Is there anything
you don’t like?
SARAH
I guess war, famine, oh and the
fact that my collection of Disney
movies on VHS is out of date.
LINDY
I know right.
JOHN
Whatever, we are on our way and
will soon be in the sunny city of
San Diego, or as I like to call
it-- Well I’ve only called it San
Diego.
They see a sign up ahead reading "You are now entering San
Diego".
There is a load honking as the Ecto-1 car full of the rival
nerds zooms by their van. The Ecto-1 has text written on
the windows reading "Comic Con is For Winners".
Jim, Kirk, Mindy, and Tom Flip off the van and laugh.
John rolls down the window and yells at the Ecto-1.
JOHN
Your mother was a hamster!
John, Curt, Lindy, Todd, and Sarah laugh. There is suddenly
a loud pop and bump in the Van as the Van gets a flat tire.
JOHN
Shit.
The van swerves as John tries to hit the breaks and the van
doesn’t stop. He pumps the breaks many times before pulling
off on the side of the road and hitting the vans mirror
against the "You are now entering San Diego" sign and
breaking it off.
JOHN
Well, that could have been worse.
The raccoon that climbed into their van now jumps out and
attacks John.

70. 69.
EXT. SAN DIEGO ROAD - DAY
The gang drives in the van that has a ridiculously small
replacement tire on it now and a mirror missing. They are
driving around downtown San Diego. There are signs that are
welcoming geeks and nerds to San Diego. Sarah’s dog sticks
his head out of the window with its tongue out and so does
Todd.
INT. VAN - DAY
The gang drives in the van. They all have huge smiles on
there faces. John has a bacon shaped band-aid on his neck.
JOHN
I cant believe we are finally here.
CURT
We have been waiting for this our
whole lives.
JOHN
I can’t tell you how many dreams
I’ve had about this-- and also
about me and Sonic winning the
World Series.
TODD
We should find a comic shop here.
JOHN
Why would we do that? That’s like
going to the worlds best hot dog
establishment and then buying a hot
dog at a stand outside of it.
LINDY
Lets find a bar or something?
CURT
Or better yet, lets find a place to
stay for the night. John, do you
want to take initiative on that
since your the one that screwed us
over in the first place?
JOHN
Of course, Curt, I will take
initiative so that you ease up off
my back about it.

71. 70.
TODD
I like that John messed us up, it
forces us into more adventure.
CURT
You say that now Todd.
TODD
I’m pretty sure I’m always going to
say that. Like Christopher Columbus
or any other famous old white
explorers, I like a challenge and a
reason to see new lands.
JOHN
Nude lands.
TODD
New lands.
JOHN
No, I’m saying Nude Lands, There.
The gang drives by a strip club called Nude Lands.
TODD
Oh awesome, Land Ho!
JOHN
They like to be called ladies of
the night, Todd.
LINDY
That is not even remotely close.
JOHN
Oh so now you know more about
strippers than I do, Lindy?
LINDY
That’s not what I was saying.
JOHN
There is no one that has studied
the fine art of erotic dancing more
than I.
TODD
Danco Erotico.
The gang looks at Todd.

72. 71.
TODD
Spanish.
They all look at Todd in confusion. Sarah puts her hand on
Todd Shoulder.
SARAH
No.
JOHN
Should we stop?
CURT
No.
LINDY
No.
TODD
Yes.
JOHN
I vote yes. Sarah?
SARAH
Why not? The physics those women
display is really something.
JOHN
All right, Nude Lands it is.
John makes a U turn to turn back to the strip club.
INT. NUDE LANDS - DAY
The gang makes their way into the strip club. There are
patrons of the club all over the place. There is a salad bar
and an alcohol bar all built around a series of platforms
and stripper poles. There are a number of STRIPPERS dancing
on poles.
TODD
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
explore, have a good time. But as
explorers we have a certain
responsibility to make sure that we
progress with caution and a plan.
Don’t fall in love with the
natives, don’t eat the local
cuisine.

73. 72.
JOHN
Was that supposed to sounds
slightly disturbing?
TODD
Better people than us have been
lost to the wild world of pleasure,
bright lights, and sticky floors.
LINDY
This is disgusting.
Curt is now watching a girl dance that has a storm trooper
helmet on.
Curt watches the girl dance and swing a plastic light saber.
CURT
Oh yeah, its-- Its pretty-- pretty,
bad.
LINDY
Curt you suck.
CURT
Yeah I know.
Todd walks over to the stripper with the Storm Trooper
helmet.
TODD
Hey.
STRIPPER
Whats up, baby?
TODD
Do you like Star Wars?
STRIPPER
I like whatever you like.
TODD
Whats your favorite Star Wars
movie?
STRIPPER
The first one.
TODD
The first of the original trilogy?
Or episode one?

74. 73.
STRIPPER
Both.
TODD
Both? You can’t like both, that’s
like liking the Red Socks and the
White Socks.
STRIPPER
What?
TODD
Those are sports teams I believe.
STRIPPER
That doesn’t make sense.
John walks over.
JOHN
Todd what are you saying to this
nice lady?
TODD
She is an anomaly.
JOHN
I’m pretty sure that is you Todd.
TODD
She likes both the Phantom menace
and new hope equally.
JOHN
That’s impossible.
STRIPPER
I like both.
JOHN
Well then your movie taste is as
bad and uncertain as your dancing.
STRIPPER
What?
JOHN
What kind of dance is that?
The stripper looks at John with Confusion.

75. 74.
JOHN
It that the slow walk, the spread
eagle, the boob smoosh?
STRIPPER
The boob Smoosh?
JOHN
Its a basic erotic dance move. Todd
here could do it.
John gestures to Todd.
TODD
I could do it?
JOHN
I’m sure you could do it.
TODD
ok, I’ll do it.
Todd hops up on the runway and starts dancing on a pole. He
does a variety of seductive dances and people in the club
and OTHER STRIPPERS watch him. Lindy, Curt, and Sarah come
over to him.
STRIPPER
Hey, you can’t be up here.
LINDY
Todd, get down from there.
Todd swings around the poll.
TODD
Im graceful, I’m free, I’m--
A BOUNCER rushes over to Todd and tackles him. Curt, Lindy,
John, and Sarah watch.
CUT TO:
INT. STRIP CLUB BACK ROOM - DAY
The group sits in the backroom of a very dirty looking room.
There are bras and skimpy lacy looking outfits sitting all
over the place. There is a dented metal table and a few
filing cabinets. The Bouncer walks around the room.

76. 75.
BOUNCER
What were you guys thinking?
TODD
It was fun?
JOHN
Good work out?
LINDY
I have no control over these
people.
BOUNCER
I’m keeping you here until the
police come.
The Bouncer shakes his head and walks away.
LINDY
Good Job, John.
JOHN
What did I do?
LINDY
You told Todd to go up there.
JOHN
So what, Todd is an adult, he
didn’t have to do it.
LINDY
Fine, good job, Todd.
TODD
Thanks.
LINDY
You should have known that Todd
would do whatever you said.
JOHN
He’s not a dog.
LINDY
He might as well be.
JOHN
That’s really rude.

77. 76.
LINDY
You’re really rude. That stripper
was just doing her job to attract
nerds and make a profit off of a
large event in her town, and you
guys had to be bullies.
A male POLICE OFFICER comes into the back room and the gang
gets very quiet.
POLICE OFFICER
Hello.
JOHN
Hello.
POLICE OFFICER
Do you all know why you are here?
LINDY
Because this guy is stupid.
Lindy points at Todd.
TODD
Hey.
LINDY
I swear, I didn’t do anything. It
was all them.
JOHN
Jeez Lindy, way to just rat us out.
POLICE OFFICER
It was all him, huh?
LINDY
Yeah, I swear.
POLICE OFFICER
Ok then. Prepare for your
punishment.
The police officer rips of his pants to reveal that he is
wearing a black pair of very tight briefs. He begins to do a
strip tease to the gang. Everyone looks terrified except for
Todd who begins to bob his head in rhythm with the dancer.
JOHN
What the hell?

78. 77.
CURT
Is this some kind of joke?
POLICE OFFICER
I’m the Punisher.
TODD
The Punisher does not wear that.
CURT
He also murders people with assault
rifles.
POLICE OFFICER
Fine, I’m just your stereotypical
policeman, with buns of steel, who
wears his heart on his sleeve, and
is gonna pump you all full of led.
JOHN
Wait, so are we actually arrested?
POLICE OFFICER
Arrested with love.
The stripper starts to shake his hips very aggressively.
JOHN
But not for real?
POLICE OFFICER
I’m just paid to dance, but I do
have handcuffs.
JOHN
Ok, Im out of here.
CURT
Yeah, same here.
LINDY
This is disgusting.
They all start to get up and leave.
TODD
Keep up the good work, Uh?
POLICE OFFICER
Steely Steve.

79. 78.
TODD
Alright.
Todd tucks a one dollar bill into the strippers briefs. The
gang leaves the room.
EXT. NUDE LANDS - DAY
The gang walks out of the strip club. On the sidewalk they
look about the street as people and cars go by.
CURT
Well what now?
JOHN
I don’t know.
LINDY
Of course you don’t.
JOHN
Lets just find the van.
CURT
Didn’t you park it right out front?
JOHN
Yeah, where is it?
TODD
I remember, it was right next to
that No Parking sign.
JOHN
What? Todd why didn’t you tell me
that?
TODD
What?
JOHN
The fact that I was parking in a
place that would get the van towed.
TODD
Didn’t cross my mind at the time.
JOHN
Next time, you should maybe say
something.

80. 79.
TODD
I’ll make a mental note of it.
CURT
Once again, great job John.
JOHN
Its not my fault the van was towed.
CURT
How is it not your fault? You are
the one that made us stop at this
god damned strip club.
JOHN
Hey we voted on it.
TODD
I had fun.
LINDY
Sure.
TODD
I did. I also got tackled. Overall
I’d say it was a 7 out of 10.
Jim, Kirk, Mindy, and Tom come walking down the sidewalk all
eating ice cream cones.
JIM
And you father smelt of
elderberries.
JOHN
Damn it, I was gonna say that.
KIRK
Can’t find your van?
CURT
We had parked it right here.
KIRK
It appears it was towed.
CURT
How would you know that?
KIRK
It says no parking.
Kirk points at the sign.

81. 80.
KIRK
Also I called the tow truck.
CURT
What, why?
JIM
Your friend here stole something of
mine. A limited addition antenna
ball from Burger Shack.
CURT
Who?
JIM
That guy. We saw him.
Jim points at John.
CURT
John?
JIM
We don’t need to know his name, we
are the alpha group here.
LINDY
Alpha group?
JIM
Yes, now politely suck it.
The rival nerds start to walk away.
JIM
We’re off to the San Diego Zoo.
They just got a new penguin and it
is cute as shit.
John, Curt, Todd, Lindy, and Sarah watch them walk away.
EXT. SAN DIEGO ROAD - DAY
The gang once again is driving down the streets of San Diego
looking at people all round wearing nerdy gear. They all
look tired and irritated.

82. 81.
INT. VAN - DAY
John drives the squealing van.
JOHN
I can’t believe we had to pay $200
to get the car back. Also sleeping
in the van was not as fun as the
tent.
Everyone looks grumpy. Todd is wearing a shirt that reads
"My Van was impounded and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt".
EXT. COMIC CON - DAY
The gang pulls the van up outside of a large convention
center. There are cars and people everywhere. People are
wearing costumes, and carrying nerdy props and memorabilia.
INT. VAN - DAY
The gang looks at people and they pull into a very long line
of cars.
JOHN
Holy cow, this is nuts.
CURT
Parking is going to take forever.
Sarah points out the window.
SARAH
Superman.
TODD
Spiderman.
SARAH
Wonder Woman.
CURT
Batman.
Lindy points at another person.
LINDY
That’s deadpool. You are gonna see
about a million of those guys.

83. 82.
JOHN
And Doctor Whos.
TODD
And Sailor Moons.
LINDY
Harley Quinn.
TODD
Nightwing.
CURT
Halo Spartan.
LINDY
Ms. Marvel.
JOHN
Spock.
TODD
Steam Punk gent.
JOHN
Those assholes that wear a superman
shirt under a suit jacket and think
there clever being Clark Kent.
TODD
Those people.
CURT
Looks like I’m changing my costume.
JOHN
Soon People will be dressing up as
Couch-man.
EXT. CONVENTION PARKING LOT - DAY
The van drives around and fails to find a parking spot. They
find one but it is too small and they fail to parallel park
and bump into another car and then quickly drive away.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
The gang walks up to a long line of people in costumes
outside of the convention center. John is wearing a
Daredevil Costume, Curt is wearing a Scott Pilgrim Costume,
Todd is wearing a Street Fighter Suit, Sarah is still in her

84. 83.
ordinary cloths and Lindy is wearing an Adventure Time Fiona
Costume. John looks at Curt.
JOHN
Alright, Curt, you got the tickets?
CURT
Yep, I handed them to Lindy.
LINDY
No, you didn’t.
CURT
Yeah, I did.
LINDY
No, you did not.
CURT
I’m pretty sure I did?
LINDY
Well, I don’t have them.
CURT
What do you mean you don’t have
them?
LINDY
They are not in my possession, I do
not have ownership of them.
JOHN
What?
TODD
What does this mean?
CURT
Nothing, she has to have them, I
don’t have them.
JOHN
Who has the damn tickets?
LINDY
I don’t know.
JOHN
Do we not have the tickets?

85. 84.
CURT
That would be fitting. No place to
stay and no tickets to get into the
place.
JOHN
Wow. This is just great. First
Lindy comes with us and now she
loses our tickets.
LINDY
Hey, that’s not fair.
JOHN
How is it not fair? If there was
ever a fairer time to be pissed it
hasn’t happened yet.
LINDY
I should be pissed at you, you have
been mean to me the entire trip for
no reason and you left us stranded.
JOHN
I actually took care of our
sleeping situation for the rest of
the trip.
TODD
Really?
JOHN
Yes, remember that bouncer that
called the police on us?
TODD
Yeah.
JOHN
Well that has nothing to do with
this story. I called my mom and
begged her to give me some money.
CURT
That worked?
JOHN
I promised I would move out. Also I
might have cried a little bit.
TODD
Wow.
John points at Curt.

86. 85.
JOHN
Yeah, This was our trip. Ours! And
now the whole trip is messed up
because of Lindy, who you brought.
LINDY
Hey, Curt got us the tickets in the
first place because of his
promotion.
JOHN
What?
CURT
Lindy!
LINDY
Curt still hasn’t told you?
John turns from Lindy to Curt.
JOHN
You got the promotion and you
didn’t tell me?
CURT
I didn’t know how to tell you.
JOHN
Tell me that you are going to be my
boss? Did you invite me out of
pity?
CURT
What? No, your are my best friend.
No offense Todd.
Todd looks at Curt.
TODD
Non-taken.
JOHN
Are we best friends Curt? Because
it seems like you have chosen
Lindy.
CURT
Its not like that man.
JOHN
No, that is exactly what its like.
You have taken her side on
everything on this trip.

87. 86.
CURT
That’s not true. Have you thought
about how you keep making me choose
sides? Both of you.
Curt looks at Lindy.
JOHN
Seems like it hasn’t been that hard
for you.
CURT
John.
JOHN
What, Curt? You gonna tell me to be
quiet, to get over it? Huh? this is
the end of the road Curt. We came
here for this stupid convention as
best friends, supposedly, and now
we don’t get to go in.
TODD
We will get in somehow.
JOHN
How Todd?
TODD
I’ll find a way.
Todd wanders away from the group.
JOHN
Where is he going?
SARAH
I’ll go find out.
Sarah chases after Todd. People watch in confusion.
JOHN
I’m going for a walk.
John starts to walk away.
JOHN
This was our trip, Curt.
John pulls the signed note vowing to go to SDCC out of his
pocket and crumples it into his fist and walks away angrily.

88. 87.
LINDY
Are you going after him?
CURT
I’ll give him some space.
EXT. CITY BLOCKS AROUND THE CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
John walks down the sidewalk and kicks a can that is on the
ground. There are people in costumes everywhere. He sits
down on the curb and stares off into the distance by
himself. A STAN LEE LOOKALIKE walks up to him.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
What’s the matter true believer?
JOHN
Is that you Stan Lee?
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
You bet. I’m the famous creator of
Spider man and many other classic
favorites.
JOHN
Really?
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
Would Stan the Man lie?
JOHN
I guess not.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
Why don’t you tell me, Stan Lee,
what’s the matter?
JOHN
Ok, Stan Lee. I’ll tell you, Stan
Lee, what the problem is. Ok, here
we go, Stan Lee.
Stan Lee look-alike nods as he listens to John.
JOHN
You see Stan Lee, me and my buddy
Curt, we have been best friends for
a really long time and we always
wanted to come to comic con.

89. 88.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
To meet me, Stan Lee, the man who
created Robert Downey Jr?
JOHN
Don’t you mean created Iron Man?
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
Yeah... that’s what I meant,
everything is normal here...
Stan Lee looks alike shifts his eyes nervously.
JOHN
Anyway, there is something about
the magic of young and old from all
over the world sweating in too
tight spandex as they hunt through
long boxes for the perfect copy of
an old brightly colored piece of
history.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
That sounds wonderful. You should
look for some Fantastic Four, I ,
Stan Lee, created them. Along with
Jack Kirby I suppose, but mostly
me.
JOHN
It was wonderful, but then he met a
girl named Lindy, who he really
likes.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
Good for him, I love young people
in love.
JOHN
Yeah, its great and all, just she
gets in the way.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
Oh no.
JOHN
Yeah, ever since she came along I
just feel like we have been growing
apart.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
I’ve seen this happen before. Same
old story. When you’ve made as many

90. 89.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
movie cameos as me you start to
pick up on cliches.
JOHN
Yeah, I would assume so. Whats your
favorite one?
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
I like them all.
JOHN
Really?
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
Of course not, but I need the
money.
JOHN
That’s fair. What should I do Stan
Lee?
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
Well I, Stan Lee, think that you
need to go talk with your friend.
This reminds me of Mall Rats, or
maybe The Simpsons, or my time on
the Big Bang Theory. I don’t
remember. But I know that in other
movies I’ve seen it gets figured
out when you realize that its okay
that your drifting apart and
realize that you will always be
friends and nothing can change the
times you have had together in the
past.
JOHN
Wow, that’s deep Stan Lee.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
I know it is.
JOHN
Do you think that will work?
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
It seems to work for Hollywood, and
it works for me. Even when a scene
seems to grow more and more
ridiculous, you just have to
believe in me, Stan Lee.
Stan Lee Look-alike stares off into the distance.

91. 90.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
Stan Lee.
John looks confused at Stan Lee Look-alike.
JOHN
Yeah of course.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
Anyway, I need to get going. I’ve
got to go sign some comics that I
wrote.
JOHN
Yeah, Ok Stan Lee. It was nice
talking.
STAN LEE LOOK-ALIKE
Yeah same here, John.
Stan Lee Look-alike walks away.
JOHN
Wow, how did he know my name?
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
Todd walks down the street along side many other people
wearing costumes. He is looking around for a way to sneak
into the convention center. Todd Sees a SCALPER that is
dressed as Waldo.
SCALPER
Tickets here.
TODD
Tickets?
SCALPER
Tickets.
The scalper nods his head.
TODD
How do I know they are real?
SCALPER
Would I dress as Waldo just to
trick you? Does that sound like
something a sane person does?
The Scalper laughs anxiously to himself.

92. 91.
TODD
No, that does sound pretty insane.
I guess I will just have to take
your word for it Waldo. How much?
SCALPER
200 bucks a ticket.
TODD
That’s pretty steep.
SCALPER
A small price to pay for 4 days of
bliss in a giant concrete
convention center filled with your
beloved characters.
TODD
What if I don’t have the cash?
SCALPER
Then you don’t have the tickets.
TODD
What If I inform the authorities?
SCALPER
Well that wouldn’t be very nice.
TODD
Exactly. Maybe you give me the
tickets and we go our separate
ways.
SCALPER
Maybe I tell the police that you
were in the middle of buying a
ticket and that this is just a
cover up.
TODD
Ok, lets see about this.
Todd pulls out his phone and types a few numbers. He puts
the phone up to his ear.
TODD
Hello, I’d like to report a crime.
CUT TO:

93. 92.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
Todd stands outside the convention center standing next to
the scalper. Steely Steve from the Strip club shows up and
walks towards Todd and the scalper still dressed as a police
officer.
POLICE OFFICER
I heard there was a crime that was
needing to be punished?
TODD
Indeed there is. A most heinous
crime.
POLICE OFFICER
Who did it?
TODD
It was that man there.
Todd points at the scalper.
POLICE OFFICER
You are under arrest.
SCALPER
For what?
POLICE OFFICER
Breaking the law, and my heart.
The police officer pulls a boom box from out of frame and
presses play. You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi starts
playing. The Police officer rips off his pants and starts
doing a similar dance to the one that he did earlier in the
club.
SCALPER
What the hell?
The scalper looks disgusted and confused.
SCALPER
What is this?
TODD
The modern day Punisher.
SCALPER
The he doesn’t look anything like
the Punisher.

94. 93.
TODD
But he does wear a lot of tight
black spandex.
The scalper struggles as the the police officer continues to
do his stripe tease.
SCALPER
Alright, Alright. Here.
The Scalper hands Todd a ticket.
TODD
Nah, uh. I meed 5 tickets.
SCALPER
Five? Are you crazy?
The scalper tries to get away from the police officer and
his dance but fails.
TODD
Five.
SCALPER
Fine, Five tickets, just get this
guy off of me.
Todd looks at the police officer.
TODD
Alright that’s enough Steely Steve.
You’ve done good my friend.
Todd tucks another bill into his briefs.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
Curt and Lindy sit outside of the convention center on the
curb watching as nerds, geeks, and fan boys and girls go by
in and out of the center.
CURT
Man, this sucks.
LINDY
I swear I don’t know what happen to
the tickets.
CURT
I know you don’t.

95. 94.
LINDY
Also I really didn’t mean to tell
John about your promotion like
that, he just keeps pushing me.
Curt looks away from Lindy.
CURT
I don’t blame you.
LINDY
It doesn’t sound like you don’t
blame me.
CURT
What do you want me to say? This
was supposed to be the one of the
best moments of my life.
LINDY
Even better then the day you met
me?
Curt stares at the ground for a moment.
LINDY
I was kidding, but nice to know
where we stand.
CURT
What do you mean?
LINDY
What?
CURT
Where we stand?
LINDY
Well jee, I don’t know Curt, maybe
that I’ve been dropping hints at
you the whole trip that I might
like you.
CURT
Really?
Curt sits up very straight and aware.
CURT
Like-- Like like?

96. 95.
LINDY
Wow, like like? Lets not get
carried away here.
CURT
Oh.
Curt looks away.
LINDY
Dang dude, I was joking, yes, like
like. Wow, you’re all over the
place today.
CURT
I’m sorry, This whole trip is just
been stressful.
LINDY
You and John have been going at it
like crazy.
CURT
Yea I’m sorry about that, I’m sure
he hasn’t won you over like I said
he would.
LINDY
Hey, its okay, I get it, you’re
best friends, and no offense but it
seems like girls don’t come around
much in your group, its uncharted
territory for you guys, he probably
feels like I am replacing him. Also
Ill admit I might have also poked
the bear a bit there.
CURT
Yeah, I guess I could see him
feeling that way. I just want to
have both of you be
friends. Thanks for understanding.
LINDY
No problem, but if you don’t tell
me right now that you like like me
back then Im gonna whack you with
this sword.
Lindy Waves a plastic sword around.

97. 96.
CURT
What, oh yeah, definitely, I like
like you, I’ve like liked you for
an embarrassingly long time.
Lindy tilts her head cutely and blinks seductively.
LINDY
Oh shucks.
They sit and look at eachother.
CURT
what now?
LINDY
Fine, I’ll do all the work you
dork.
Lindy leans in and kisses Curt.
LINDY
Now, If we really want to get into
this convention, then lets do it.
CURT
How?
Suddenly there is a large gust of wind and Curt and Lindy
look to see a silhouetted figure. It is revealed as Todd who
is posed very heroically.
TODD
I have the solution, and it is
colored paper with colored ink
forming words and images that
represent a voucher like pass into
the convention.
CURT
What?
Todd slacks and poses normally.
TODD
Tickets, I got us tickets.
LINDY
You got us tickets?
CURT
How?
Todd poses very heroically again.

98. 97.
TODD
I may or may not have gotten in
contact with a recent acquaintance
that fights for justice through the
use of skin tight undergarments and
80s dance moves.
CURT
What?
Todd again loosens up and stands normally.
TODD
I got in contact with Steely Steve.
CURT
Oh, ok.
LINDY
Why can’t you say things normally?
TODD
Life is no fun that way. Where is
John?
CURT
I don’t know.
LINDY
We should go find him.
CURT
Yeah, lets go find my stubborn best
friend.
Todd poses very heroically again.
TODD
We shall find our good friend that
has lost his way in the rough world
and --
Lindy and Curt stare at Todd.
Todd again loosens up and stands normally.
TODD (CONT.)
Lets go finds john.
The gang gets up and walks away from the sidewalk.

99. 98.
EXT. CITY BLOCKS AROUND THE CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
Curt, Lindy, and Todd walk down the sidewalk and find John
Sitting wearing a pair of khaki pants, a white dress shirt,
striped tie, and dress shoes.
CURT
John.
JOHN
Curt.
CURT
What are you doing?
JOHN
I’m changing, Curt.
CURT
What do you mean, your changing?
JOHN
It’s time to grow up right?
John looks out into the distance very seriously.
JOHN
We are all grown ups now --
TODD
I’m not.
LINDY
We all know that Todd.
CURT
What are you talking about, John?
JOHN
I’m both changing literally and
figuratively, or metaphorically.
Its symbolism. The classic suit and
tie. I don’t know if you get it?
CURT
I got it.
JOHN
Did you? It’s a change from the
comic outfit.

100. 99.
CURT
Yeah, I definitely get it.
TODD
I get it.
JOHN
Ok, cool.
CURT
What does this mean?
JOHN
Its time to stop being goofy and
get a real job. I think I’ll become
an accountant, or maybe an
anesthesiologist. You don’t need to
go to school for those right?
CURT
What brought this on?
JOHN
Me and Stan Lee had a heart to
heart.
CURT
Stan Lee?
JOHN
Yes. Stan Lee taught me that its
fine to change and that we all do,
but that isn’t bad. Also that Stan
Lee likes to say his own name a
lot.
CURT
Are you sure about this?
JOHN
Pretty sure. I’m throwing out the
old life and moving on, I’m gonna
be a pansy like you and wear
collared shirts. I think that
losing the tickets was the sign
that I needed.
CURT
What if we said that we managed to
get more tickets?

101. 100.
JOHN
What?
Curt points at Todd who reveals 5 tickets.
JOHN
Oh, Man.
John rips off the entire office suit in one motion and
reveals that he is still wearing the Daredevil costume under
those cloths.
CURT
Alright, that’s what I’m talking
about.
JOHN
Lets do this.
John and Curt look at each other.
CURT
John, I just want you to know that
you’re my dude, Robin to my Batman,
Bucky to my Captain America.
JOHN
Why am I the sidekicks?
CURT
Fine, you can be Captain America.
But anyway, just because Peter
Parker starts hanging out with Mary
Jane doesn’t mean he stops fighting
crime with Daredevil. I’m sorry I
took you for granted.
JOHN
This is getting sappy-- But, I
know, I’m sorry. Thank you.
Lindy looks at John.
LINDY
John.
JOHN
Lindy.
LINDY
I don’t know what happened to those
other tickets.

102. 101.
JOHN
I know.
LINDY
I’m sorry.
JOHN
For what?
LINDY
Are you really doing this?
JOHN
Yes.
LINDY
Fine, I’m sorry for making fun of
you and arguing with you. I know
that this is important to you guys
and I don’t want to get in between
you both.
JOHN
Thank you.
Lindy looks at John.
LINDY
Do you want to say anything?
JOHN
Fine. I suppose that I am sorry for
undermining you and contradicting
your every move. -- And for saying
you ruined everything.
LINDY
Thank you.
CURT
Ok, and I’m sorry to both of you.
Because It seems that I had the
tickets in my costume pocket the
entire time.
Curt pulls tickets out of his pocket.
JOHN
What?
LINDY
Really?

103. 102.
TODD
Are you kidding me? After all I
went through to get us new ones?
CURT
Its not important. Lets focus on
the fact that we all learned a
valuable lesson.
They all look at Curt.
CURT
We should get going in right?
TODD
Where is Sarah?
LINDY
She went after you.
TODD
Really?
CUT TO:
EXT. CITY BLOCKS AROUND THE CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
Sarah walks around down the sidewalks looking for Todd. She
sees a service door that is open on the side of the
convention center and runs into it.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
The gang walks up to the convention center again this time
with their tickets in hand. They make it through the line
and finally get to redeem there badges and enter the
facilities.
INT. COMIC CON - DAY
Curt, John, Lindy, and Todd enter the Comic Con Facilities.
It is filled to the brim with people in all kinds of
costumes carrying all kinds of items. They all gaze with
wide wonder.
JOHN
Curt.

104. 103.
CURT
John.
JOHN
Todd.
TODD
John.
CURT
Todd.
TODD
Curt.
CURT
Lindy.
LINDY
Curt.
CURT
We are here.
JOHN
Indeed we are.
Sarah walks over to them.
SARAH
Indeed we are.
They all look at Sarah confused.
TODD
Where did you come from?
SARAH
Oh yeah, long story.
CUT TO:
INT. COMIC CON LOADING DOCKS - DAY
Sarah runs in the door and hides in a back room. She then
makes her way through down stairs passages, climbs, through
ceilings, runs up stairs, stops at a vending machine, and
then makes her way out to the main floor of the convention.
SARAH (V.O)
I made my way though a back door
and then up stairs and stopped for
a snickers.

105. 104.
CUT TO:
INT. COMIC CON - DAY
The gang looks a her as she tells her story.
TODD
That wasn’t really that long of a
story.
Sarah Shrugs.
SARAH
Mhh, I guess not, it seemed longer.
I did a lot of walking.
They all look at her in confusion.
CURT
Well anyway. Lets do this.
The gang walks around the convention center. They go through
panels, the show floor, look at all kinds of merchandise and
gear, and take pictures with other people in costumes. Curt
and John wait in line and Show an ARTIST their Couch-Man
comic.The artist smiles and nods. Multiple ATTENDEES come up
to Sarah and take pictures with her. Sarah signs a few
autographs. Curt sees a picture that appears to be Sarah
wearing Goggles, a lab coat, and holding a beaker.
CURT
Holy crap, are you Professor F?
From Physics Fun with Professor F.?
SARAH
Yeah. My last name is Franklin.
CURT
Oh my god, Professor F. has been
with us the whole time? I didn’t
recognize you with the bike, and
hair, and -- Can I have your
autograph?
JOHN
Me too, I loved your show.
TODD
Yeah.

106. 105.
LINDY
Can I have one?
Sarah Pulls out a sharpie from her bag.
INT. COMIC CON HALLWAY - DAY
They bump into the Rival Nerds walking down the hall all in
costumes.
Curt taps John on the shoulder. John, Todd, Lindy, and Sarah
turn around and face the rival nerds.
They square off like a wild west movie.
John pulls out a foam sword and charges with it at Jim. Curt
charges at Kirk, Lindy charges at Mindy, Todd charges at
Tom, and Sarah pulls out a frisbe from her bag and carefully
looks around the room before throwing it and perfectly
bouncing it off the walls and right into Jims face.
A battle with fake weapons commences.
John stabs Jim and stands victorious. Jim stares at John.
JIM
How?
JOHN
Bitch, you messed with the wrong
betas.
SECURITY GUARDS come in and pull them all apart.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
The gang leaves the center with armfuls of items and with
large smiles on their faces. They all make their way down
the street and towards their van.
JOHN
That was amazing.
TODD
Did anyone else see that 15 foot
tall Charzard?
LINDY
I got 8 autographs.

107. 106.
CURT
The people looking at our work said
it seemed promising, I have a bunch
of new ideas. Couch-man the TV
show, Couch-man the ride, Couch-man
the inflatable bath pillow.
SARAH
I convinced people that I was the
casting director for the next Star
Trek movie. I got like 300 head
shots.
They continue looking around for the van.
JOHN
Guys where is the Van?
CURT
What, didn’t we park it here?
TODD
Yeah, and I swear there was no No
Parking sign.
LINDY
Did it get towed again?
JOHN
I don’t know. If I knew then I
would not be asking.
TODD
That stands to reason.
CURT
Come on guys we will find it.
The gang continues to search the street.
CUT TO:
EXT. CITY BLOCKS AROUND THE CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
The van drives down the street.

108. 107.
INT. VAN - DAY
The scalper drives the Van down the street laughing.
SCALPER
You think you can mess with me and
get away with it?
The Scalper laugh maniacally to himself.
SCALPER
You will learn a hard lesson Mr.
man I didn’t get the name of and
Steely Steve. You’ll see.
The Scalper laughs more. Text appears on the screen reading
"To Be Continued?"
FADE OUT