Listen with Empathy
Understanding does not = Agreement
Sensitivity does not = Acquiescence
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Notas do Editor
My IntroThink of something in your world right now that is your favorite thing. Then use three adjectives to describe yourself based upon this favorite thing.
You are responsible for how much information you take away and use and learn today. I find there are three types of participants in these sessions: The Enthusiasts. The Holiday Makes. The Prisoners.
The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. The state of being connected by blood or marriage.Synonymsrelation - connection - connexion - kinship – affinity. For our purpose’s today we will concentrate on the “connection” part of the definition. In the workplace those are our most common.
I need to get a sense of your connections. Think about your work day or work week. With whom do you relate? Flip chartNow let’s list all the forms of relating ie. Phone, in-person, email. What level of relating? In passing. Greeting. Brief conversation. Dialogue.
So you relate with internal and external people in your everyday work world. Why do you think it is important to focus on proper ways of relating? The current research indicates that poor relationships within organizations and with its customers promote: Declining Satisfaction, Lower Productivity, Frustrated Employees and Customers, Reduced Accomplishment.Mistakes. What else? If you get off the phone and know there was a bad exchange with a customer, how do you feel? Did you complain to someone? If so, it might be worth some reflection to determine if you contributed to the poor quality of the interaction or conversation.
So how can we ground ourselves and begin to create and rebuild great relationships? In the workplace, all of our communications must be an effort to create, build, or rebuild every act of relating towards meeting the organizations mission or values. Who knows the CPM mission? The DHS mission?
Small Groups: Think of a relationship you have at work and come up with ways to build it to be more effective or productive. Think of an opportunity to interact with someone and come up with ways to create an effective or productive relationship. Next: Think of a time when there was an opportunity to have a connection with someone, but you did not create or build. Why? How could you have improved?
What are some causes of misunderstanding and communication difficulties? Lack of Info. Lack of Knowledge. Not Explaining Expectations or Goals or Priorities. Not Listening. Not Asking Questions. With every single interaction you have an opportunity to create a connection or destroy one. We must humanize the person across from us, on the other end of the phone, behind the counter, in the next cubicle and email recipient.
Treating others with Dignity creates an entirely different platform for the words we speak. Dignity increases a person’s humanity sense. And then….you have made a difference, whether or not you were able to solve a problem or reach agreement.
Would you agree that one of the main ways of relating, even in today’s world, is through conversations? Name some types of conversation you have each day and the purpose. Why do we have conversations? Let’s rate these conversations in order from easy to difficult.
Remembering that every interaction can create or destroy a relationship, what happens when a conversation becomes difficult? What makes a conversation difficult?
When one or both persons feels a strong sense of emotion, a conversation can quickly become difficult. Why can emotions, even the good ones, make a conversation turn difficult?
All emotions create turmoil in the body. Blood leaves the brain and goes out to the extremities. As a result, a person thinks less and has less regard for consequences.
These are some of the more obvious reactions. We can see or hear sadness, crying, anger.
What about these less-obvious reactions to difficult conversations? Silence or withdrawal is very common. The chair lean-back may be even less subtle A Clenched Jaw. What is your preferred method of behavior when you are feeling an emotion during a conversation or meeting? Do you see any of these in others?
Here is one we have not mentioned. Sarcasm is commonly used in our everyday communications, and can be the “go to” response when a conversation becomes emotional or otherwise difficult. It is a comfortable defense position, and is readily accepted within the cultures of many organizations. The sad truth is that sarcasm can be damaging and usually serves to break down relationships.
Small Groups: Hand out the conversation scenarios.
Stories are powerful and very influential…….as long as you have the facts and are in charge of the production. Let’s take a look at what happens during some conversations. Flip Chart
What causes this chaos surrounding the story part of this path? When we do not have the facts, we begin to fill in the space where the facts should be stated. We interpret.
This is what happens when a story is being formed. We tend to believe every thought that comes into our heads. These thoughts are based upon a very complex set of factors: Beliefs, values, experiences, culture, etc……
Stories, opinions and thoughts are not necessarily the facts. They can be, but unless the facts are stated and out in the open, there will be misunderstanding and relationship break down. Remember, if you are not building or maintaining, you are destroying.
Facts are the least controversial way to begin a difficult conversation. Facts are not about being right.
Meaningful dialogue builds effective relationships. Dialogue is REAL communication.
State the factsShare your possible story with safety and respect. Your possible story may also be described as your opinions. Ask for their facts, stories, opinions.LISTEN and be WILLING to abandon or rethink your own story.This is the beginning of dialogue!
When you have a customer call in and ask a question or a problem to be solved. What are some great ways to ask good questions? Can you be more specific? Can you give me an example of that? What happened then? How does this affect you? GIVE: Focus on a solution (if possible). Can’t into can “Here is what I can do”. No shoulds. No blame. No excuses. Take responsibility.
Small Groups: Revisit your conversation scenarios and find out the facts.
The facts are just the pathway to dialogue, and there are usually emotions at play in many conversations. Here are some useful skills to have once the facts have been stated and the conversation continues.
Creating mutual respect and common purpose is a great way to move a conversation along more smoothly. When you speak with customers on the phone, is there a common purpose?
We translate our feelings into:Judgments: "If you were a good husband, you would know I don't like that"Attributions: "Why are you trying to hurt me?"Characterizations: "You are so inconsiderate"Problem-solving: "The answer is for you to call me more often"
Have you ever seen this: THINK before you speak. Is it: True. Helpful. Inspiring. Necessary. Kind.
Then you can always guide the person back to the facts and continue with dialogue, or say something like “I think I see things differently”, here’s how”
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